Saigo no Toki ni wa Waratte

Itachi x Kimimaro Novel Presented By Shirohane

When he first met him, the impression he got was that this person was 'white'.

With pure, white hair that encircled his face and pale skin that also glistened white in the faint spring sunlight, white apple blossom petals were heavily raining down upon him. White traditional robe that he adorned around his slender body couldn't be distinguished from his hair and flowers around him, so it really seemed as if he was a ghost. The only solid part of him was his eyes, which were deep colors of emerald. But this, too, blended in with the sweet, soft leaves of the apple tree behind him. But even if he seemed like a ghost, he wasn't frightening at all—ethereal and mysterious, but definitely not menacing presence. That is to say—yes, he was like a sprit that dwells in the apple tree that had been materialized.

But unlike the serene atmosphere of his appearance and surroundings, he was attempting to catch the falling apple blossom petals, happily laughing like a child. The thin, long fingers made graceful motions in the air before the pale pink fingertips finally managed to catch a tiny, somewhat heart-shaped flower petal. As soon as the petal was within his hands, as if relieved, he burst into another peal of laughter.

I want it.

The thought surprised him. When was the last time he had a desire for something? But the pure whiteness of the person and the innocent way he was laughing somehow attracted him, so he stepped out of the shadows and approached the person. The person did not seem shocked to see him at all. He merely smiled and patted the space next to him on the bench he was sitting on, blushing away the white petals that gathered in small mounds there.

When he had plopped down to a seat, he noticed that his own completely black clothing and long black hair crashed horribly with the whiteness of his surroundings. It felt as if he had intruded upon something sacred. He regretted breaking the perfect scene that had attracted him here in the first place. It would've been so much better if he had continued watching at a distance.

As if reading his thoughts, the person next to him cheerfully said, "My name is Kimimaro. What is yours?"

The low tenor voice reassured him of the person's gender. He was beautiful enough to be a woman, but there was something definitely masculine about the being sitting next to him. But gender didn't even matter anymore. He still thought that he wanted him. In what sense? Sexually? Or did he just want to have him for the mere sake of possession? He still wasn't sure.

"I am called Itachi…"

They both avoided providing each other their last names and did not question the others' lack of providing that information. It was enough for now that they had a title to call each other by.

Thinking back, the reason why a beautiful person sitting in storm of white blossoms attracted him so much was probably because of his mother. His mother always had sweet fragrance about her, and she, too, enjoyed sitting under apple blossom that would adorn their backyard during springs. When the blossoms had died away, Sasuke would start bothering him about helping him pick apples, and then he'd patiently tell the tiny child that the apples were too sour to eat yet…

Ah. He remembered something that he didn't want to. The past always brought bad taste to his mouth.

"Are you going to die?"

Kimimaro smiled, lowering his eyes. Even though he had asked such a rude question at their first meeting, he didn't seem angered at all. The dark circles under his bright green eyes and frailness of his body foretold of grave illness that this thin vessel was containing, but he seemed quite accepting about his own death. Now that he was sitting next to him, he was able to see various needle holes and scars on his arms, and amongst the almost sickeningly sweet aroma of the apple blossoms he was able to smell the bitter scent of antiseptics.

"Don't die."

At that Kimimaro's eyes slightly widened as if surprised, but the smile didn't disappear from his lips. He didn't want this beautiful being to die. Like his mother, like Shisui, this delicate, pretty thing is going to escape his hands again. He will lose to death again. A hand that felt surprisingly cold wrapped around his cheek, and Kimimaro's eyes playfully narrowed.

"That's bad, Itachi-kun."

Itachi stared at him wordlessly.

"Everyone is doing their best to live. It's a sad thing to say 'don't die' to someone, because it's an impossible request. While I'm alive I will do my best to stay alive, so you do, too."

Then the hand moved from his face to his head, and Kimimaro patted his head as if he was a small child, despite the fact that he was taller than Kimimaro.

"Let's stay alive so that we can be near the person who is precious to us… Because 'good bye' is such a sad word, don't you think?"

He wasn't sure what to answer. The deep green eyes stared at him, and he felt as if he would get sucked into the bright, questioning orbs if he looked any longer. Without a word he gently pushed Kimimaro away and stood up, walking away without looking back. The cold feel of his fingers lasted even after Kimimaro was out of his line of vision.

With his eyes slightly narrowed, he playfully asked his partner who was lying next to him, lazily playing with a strand of his hair. His body was sticky and sweaty, but he didn't mind. It felt good to lie next to someone with such a high body temperature, because his own body was abnormally cold. It probably felt bad. Having sex with such cold and skinny body must have felt like making love with a corpse.

"It was my first time, you know."

Laughter. Actually sleeping with him had been so painful that he had cried a lot during the act, so his already pale and ashen face must look quite disgusting with red, swollen eyelids. But because the man lying next to him didn't push him away, he snuggled against him, acting a bit more selfishly than he was normally allowed to.

Itachi pushed his head down on the pillow. "Kimimaro-san, you talk too much."

"Oniichan! I told you to call me Kimimaro Oniichan." Kimimaro slightly pouted when Itachi didn't answer. Even though he had told him to cut out the formal style of speech, Itachi still refused to speak to him casually.

"My first…" Itachi slightly hesitated, then turned his head away. "My first partner was supposed to be Shisui-nii."

"Eh. Did he get another partner?"

"I killed him."

"Oh."

"I chose you to take his place, so you can't be that bad."

"Eh. I'm the first for Itachi-kun, too?"

Itachi didn't answer. Kimimaro laughed and rolled over so that his back was resting against Itachi's arm. "Too bad your first experience wasn't with the person who is most precious to you."

"Why present tense?"

"Because there is someone in your mind, isn't there? Someone who is far more important to you than me."

Itachi looked as if he would deny this, but he sighed instead. Kimimaro closed his eyes. "Be careful next time, won't you? Thinking about someone else isn't the most attractive thing to do while having sex. If I was a girl I would've slapped you."

"You can. You can punch me, too, if you'd like."

"No thanks— It isn't like you're the most precious person to me, either."

"Hn. Orochimaru again? I have no idea why you would be loyal to a weakling like that."

Kimimaro snickered. "He's like a perverted, gender-confused father that I never had, that's why."

"That's wrong."

Kimimaro's snickers became louder. Itachi reached out a hand and rested it against his neck. So thin. If he twisted it a little it'll easily snap, won't it? Then he'll be all his. The name 'Orochimaru' would never come out of those lips again.

"Anyway there's no reason for you to get jealous—"

"I'm not—"

"Because the person I was thinking of doesn't have that kind of relationship with me. I won't have sex with him."

"Heh—He's impotent? Monk? Priest?"

"He's my younger brother!"

"Ahahahaha."

Kimimaro yelped when Itachi encircled his arms around his waist and drew him closer to his own body. Burying his head in the soft strands of pure white hair, Itachi murmured, "The meaning of 'like' is different anyhow."

A smile floated to top of Kimimaro's lips. Twisting his upper body slightly so that he can rub his cheek against Itachi's, he softly said, "I know."

"Here."

Holding the pudding that Kisame bought, Kimimaro happily smiled. Like a child he had sweet tooth, so the bright smile that he showed at sight of pudding made it worth it to force poor Kisame to go buy puddings. Both Itachi and Kisame didn't exactly look good holding tiny cartons of pudding, but it was fate of a lackey… is not it, partners—to help his superior companion Itachi with his romantic relationship.

The apple flowers had nearly all died out and tiny, green apples were starting to grow from the branches. The brilliant green of every tree around them made Kimimaro seem even more sickly. He no longer belonged in this scene. Kimimaro seemed aware of this, too. Nowadays he didn't sit under the apple tree often.

Kimimaro quickly emptied the container and the two sat in companionable silence, watching the leaves of the trees around them gently shaking in the breeze. The breeze was starting to feel hot and sticky. Summer would come soon.

Itachi stood up. He had visited Kimimaro to see his face and give him the pudding, so his purpose had been served. Besides, he had things to take care of this afternoon, so it would be bad if he didn't leave now.

"…Itachi-kun."

Because Kimimaro never stopped him from leaving before, Itachi turned his head to look at him, not a little surprised. Kimimaro had a strange smile on his face. Even though he was smiling… why was his heart throbbing so painfully when he looked at him?

"Itachi-kun… Good bye."

Because 'good bye' is such a sad word, don't you think?

Then Itachi understood.

It was impossible to have him.

Once again he would loose to death.

Should he run back? Should he embrace him and never let him go? Will death forgive the two if he could have tight enough hold of him?

His body was moving on its own. Further and further away from him. Without even saying the last greeting of separation, he was walking away from the third and probably last beautiful whiteness that had tenderly embraced him.

Everything was starting to blur, but he glared at the ground in front of him and refused to let the hot liquid overflow. Then he slowly and carefully looked back. Ah, thank goodness. He was still there. He could still see him.

A forced smile, but that was good enough for a parting, wasn't it?

I'm not sure what I was writing, either. I only wrote it because I suddenly wanted to. TvT Itachi and Kimimaro fans I'm sorry- I'm not sure who these guys are either- (runs off towards the sunset crying) No one knows what poor Kisame was doing when Itachi was having fun(?) with Kimimaro. I'm sorry for writing such minor-orientated story when I should be writing SasuNaru stories instead, but I wanted to write it so much that there was no helping it! (laughs)