Dreams and Reminiscence

Author: pratz

Disclaimer: Loveless belongs to Kouga Yun.

I can't believe: my first Loveless fic! Actually, it's really, really a pain in the ass to make a fic out of Loveless. It's too dark and too depressive for my usual cup of tea, so if you ask me how in the end this fic can come out, I don't know how to answer—as if I know what the answer is... Nevertheless, I still love Ritsuka!

When Ritsuka dreamt, he mostly dreamt of Soubi.

He dreamt of Soubi whispering soft words of love affectionately on his ear, making his body giddily alive with such warmth that brought his thought wandered back when Seimei was still alive and when this 'Ritsuka' was his only.

Soubi would hold him close, endearingly, affectionately, so tender that it hurt. His arms were around Ritsuka's small shoulders, shielding him from any harsh reality of mother screaming words that meant to hurt, of father ignoring his abused child, and of anything but the rubber duck who was never absent when Ritsuka had his little haven in the bathroom.

Ritsuka would feel fingers, slender and fine, slipping through his hair, up his feline ear, touching, caressing in a way that he had never thought he was possibly able to have.

Yet, Ritsuka knew that by the time he woke up, the dream Soubi would disappear, leaving a space enough only for the tangled web about Seimei's death, about Sacrifice and Fighter, and about his much messed mind.

Only in his dream, Ritsuka would allow a small privilege of letting his arms hug Soubi back, of loving Soubi back. He would close his eyes, seeing nothing but Soubi's gentle smile in the comforting darkness beneath his eyelids, and gladly reminding himself that it was Soubi who put his neatly shaved chin on top of his head.

"Soubi?"

"Hmm?" A deep, calm voice that he had begun to love these lately spoken in dawdled tone, leaving a tingling feeling on his skin, in his soul.

"Hold me."

As Soubi nodded lightly, kissing the crown of his head softly, Ritsuka realized his heart began to bleed desperately.

In his dreams, Ritsuka would dream of Soubi, his and his only.

maybe I'll post it in LJ—if I'm not too lazy to do it, though...