Disclaimer: Trigun and all related materials are properties of their respective owners.

Days of Our Knives
By: Nanaki BH

The doorbell rang and kuro neko leaped from Legato's lap to the floor. Knives sat reading the paper, still feeling extremely unsettled after the previous day's events. After everything that had been happening – first a dead senshi and then a talking cat – he hoped with all his might that nothing else so strange would be happening when Legato opened the door. The last thing Knives' nerves needed were more surprises.

He glanced up when he realized Legato hadn't answered the door yet. He stood in front of them, arms slack at his sides, just listening as the doorbell rang again and again.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Knives asked, turning the page so he didn't look like he was paying too much attention to him.

"Not yet. You have to make them want it."

"Want what?" Knives wondered blandly.

Once the ringing seemed to cease, Legato sighed and opened the doors at last. Knives peeked out from behind the sports page and blinked at their visitors. In the doorway stood two young girls, at least of junior high age. Both wore adorable plaid skirts, high socks, and white cuffed blouses, neatly pressed by their mommies. If that didn't make it obvious enough who they were, they had on brown sashes with buttons of bright colors and different symbols proudly pinned to them.

Girl scouts.

Prime target number one.

Knives folded his paper, far too amused already to let this opportunity to watch pass him by. Legato looked down at the two with what seemed to be moderate disinterest. "Is this what he meant by 'make them want it'?" The girls' smiles faltered somewhat but they resumed their perky personalities in seconds flat. The one on the right with brown pigtails held up a box nervously. Her shaking hands gave her away.

"Mister," she started, seeming too intimidated to look Legato directly in the eyes, "would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?"

He seemed to start at the mere mention of the word "girl scout" but he kept himself still. Like a lion, Knives could tell that Legato was already ready to pounce. He had his prey all lined up for him already and it was just a matter of the taking. Keeping with his gaze of little interest, Legato looked to an imaginary point somewhere over his shoulder that seemed to be much more interesting than the girls and spoke.

"Nope. I'm on a diet."

Knives resisted the urge to burst out laughing. He couldn't remember ever hearing Legato say the word "diet" in his life.

"But... these are low in calories!" the other one said, trying to be convincing.

"No they aren't. Each cookie has over two hundred calories," he replied.

"...Is he for real?"

The pigtailed one sputtered, crestfallen after looking at the nutritional facts to find Legato to be depressingly correct.

"Well... They taste great!"

Legato finally looked back at the girls and Knives cringed inside, sure that Legato was thinking that the girls looked to be much more delicious than the cookies themselves. Legato eyed the box she held and gave in with a sigh, letting his shoulders finally slump from their tense position. Of course, that was still part of his act, Knives was sure.

Crossing his arms, Legato tapped his foot. "How much are they?"

"Only three dollars! All proceeds go to the girl scouts to keep them learning the safe way to have fun!"

"Safe way...? Did they never teach them about bad men who want to capture them and do strange things to them in their basements?"

It must have been all it took for Legato to resist them. "I don't have my money on me. How about you girls step in for a second?"

They looked at each other and then took a look inside, taking in the strange décor of the house. "Y-Yeah, sure," they said together hesitantly. The first step they took together into the house was as if they thought they were stepping into lava. Knives couldn't blame them. When a man with blue hair and a skull on his arm answers the door to a house, you can't expect his house to be very pleasant either.

"Hey girls," Knives said, flashing them an innocent smile. "Better watch yourselves."

"What was that?"

"I said 'nice weather we're having'."

Right when the one was about to say something, Legato looked back at them with a cold stare, effectively stopping them from making any comments.

"Sorry, girls, he's a little strange," Legato apologized.

"You're the strange one!" Knives silently pitied the girls and their mothers who foolishly allowed them to become girl scouts.

Assuming a very curious expression, Legato rubbed his chin. "I think I left my wallet in the basement. Ah. Yes, that must be where." When he looked back at the girls, his expression was one of sunshine and rainbows. Puppies and kittens could choke on the sparkles he radiated. "How about you come with me to save me the trouble of having to come back up?"

His suddenly shining personality seemed to put them off more than reassure them. They gripped their cookie boxes tightly and tried to smile back. "Y-yeah, sure. Why not."

Legato led them away to the hall. Knives heard the steel doors close behind them and that was the last he saw of them.

"I don't know how he does it," he muttered to himself, opening the paper. "Works every time."

Author's Note: ...It seems as if I haven't written a chapter to this in nearly two years. W-what? Well, here's a new chapter! Hopefully I'll get another one up soon? I really love this story. I realize what little sense it makes as far as the setting and some characterization goes (especially since I haven't watched or read Trigun in ages) but it just seems to work and be so hilarious to me, no matter how old it gets. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was fun to finally write the girl scout chapter I had been meaning to do.