(x) A joint Naruto fanfiction/RP by Chesiere Cat and Kuroi.
(x) Summary: When Sasuke is convinced (under the influence) to try out Naruto’s Oiroke no Jutsu, more commonly known as his Sexy no Jutsu, there are some rather serious (but amusing) repercussions.
(x) Pairing: Itachi/Sasuke
(x) Warnings: This fanfiction/RP is full of crack. If it weren’t, a storyline like this would be boring, uninteresting, and cliché. It also has one gender-bending boy (who is not normally the gender-bending one in fanfictions), and more crack. Other warnings entail YAOI (that means ghei smex), sort-of-not-quite mpreg (because it’s not really mpreg), and that whole incest thing.
(x) Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

A Straight Line
Chapter 1

“What the hell is wrong with me...?” Sasuke muttered, feeling utterly irritated as he lurched and regurgitated what little he had eaten for the seventh time that day. It had been like this for a while already, and the symptoms had been getting progressively curious. Not to mention terribly annoying. Sasuke frowned deeply as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Something must be wrong with him, he knew it.

Sakura was very worried. Her emerald eyes filled with concern as she watched her crush stagger and lean on the rail for support. Somehow, as she watched him—the current state he was in, how pale he looked at the moment and his symptoms—Sakura’s exceedingly bright mind began to piece the puzzle together.

Her eyes widened in shock and disbelief. “Sasuke-kun…” It couldn’t be that… “Are...are you...” The word stuck in her throat. This really wasn't a question you just went around asking. It was just…too awkward.

Sasuke ignored her, concentrating on getting his stomach under control before trying to stand up straight without the world spinning around him.

Perhaps adding to Sakura's conclusion as to just exactly what Sasuke's condition was, was the current form that Sasuke inhabited. For, rather than his regular lean but muscular physique, Sasuke was now sporting a rather...curvaceous look. He, or rather, she had become more graceful—when she wasn’t busy emptying her stomach of its contents.

Her jet-black hair was longer, losing its trademark, awkward spikes, and now fell a little past her shoulders. To add to the look, Sasuke’s normal high-collared blue shirt did nothing to conceal the breasts she now sported: they weren’t very large, they were rather small, to be honest, but they were in perfect proportion to Sasuke’s new body and did not look out of place on her.

Sakura eyed Sasuke’s slender figure with some amount of awe, and more than a little bit of jealousy: even as a girl Sasuke looked better than her. (Sakura absently wondered why Sasuke still insisted on wearing the same outfit after all these years. They weren’t genin anymore, and Sasuke’s new…look would be better appreciated if the girl would just swallow her pride to wear more feminine clothing. Of course, she figured that asking Sasuke to swallow her pride and wear “girl’s clothes” was too much to ask.) She did note, however, with some amusement, that Sasuke’s female form wasn’t so dissimilar from her male one. The facial features had not changed much although her face wasn’t so angular as before. She didn’t change in height, and overall, she still looked very much like Sasuke. Just female.

Despite any amusement she harbored towards her crush’s situation, Sakura stumbled over her words, finding it unbelievably difficult to voice it. Yet, she had to ask anyway. “Sa…Sasuke-kun, are you pre...pregnant?”

Sakura suddenly felt like some sort of a fool that she might consider the dirt on her shoes more intelligent as Sasuke abruptly snapped and glared at her darkly. “Do I look like a girl to you?” Then again, from the light blush that touched the Uchiha’s cheeks after she said that told her she wasn’t too impressed with the intelligence of her own question.

It was then that the pink-haired girl decided that fiddling with her sleeves was a highly interesting thing to do. Almost as interesting as the ground.

“But Sasuke, you are a girl, now. And you have been for the past few weeks.” Naruto pointed out.

If looks could kill, the blond boy sure would have been dead ten times over.

Kakashi chose to make his appearance at that moment. Late, as usual. He was almost surprised when no scream of “You’re late!” greeted him. Then again, he didn’t think anything could surprise him more than seeing a female Sasuke every day, as had been the case for the past few weeks.

And after figuring out just exactly what had transpired to bring about Sasuke’s new form and condition, he honestly didn’t think anything could surprise him anymore.

“So, who’s the father, Sasuke-chan?” He asked teasingly, lips curving up into a mischievous grin behind that mask of his.

Sakura nodded nervously. “I want to know, too…”

Sasuke merely turned away. “It’s none of your business.”

Naruto grinned, having caught Sasuke’s slip. “Aha! So, you admit that you are pregnant.”

The boy-turned-girl groaned and buried her face in her hand in exasperation. “I never said that…”

Seeing an opening to rub it in, Naruto grinned and questioned the girl further. “But Sasuke-chan, if you’re not pregnant, why don’t you explain why you’re still a girl? You’ve been a girl for weeks; don’t you think it’s about time you turn back? Or maybe you actually like being a girl?”

Sasuke glared at a wall, but said nothing.

“I see. Sasuke-chan must have always wanted to be a girl! Of course! It’s no wonder he never paid attention to his fan club!”

“Katon Goukakyuu no Jutsu!” The wiseass was instantly toasted by the great fireball.

“I think I know who the father is.” Kakashi said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin, not at all concerned for Naruto’s rather charred state.

Sasuke turned around so fast that it made the world spin and she had to use the bridge railing to steady herself before she fell over. Regaining control over herself, she gave Kakashi her most vicious glare yet. “Tell, and I swear I’ll kill you.” She didn’t know how it was that Kakashi always seemed to know everything, especially when it came to her, but she didn’t like it at all. How could Kakashi know if even Naruto didn’t, especially since it was Naruto that got her into the mess in the first place! Curse him and his stupid, idiotic, perverse jutsu!

Kakashi dismissed the girl’s anger with a careless wave of his hand. “Now, now, Sasuke. You should calm down; it’s not good for the baby. Besides, your condition is good for the clan, isn’t it?”

After all, Kakashi couldn’t possibly have meant what was implied, that was just…strange.

“Shut. The. Hell. UP!” Sasuke yelled, losing her temper far quicker than she normally would have as her eyes immediately bled the reddest shade of the Sharingan. And soon the cries of a thousand birds were heard chirping loudly.

Sakura gasped.

But Kakashi just chuckled good-naturedly at the raven haired-girl and easily stopped the Chidori Sasuke threw at him. “Now, now, be a good…girl, won’t you?”

“I swear…I’ll kill you.” Sasuke said, glaring at her teacher without any humor. The glare was promptly turned full-force on Naruto as the usuratonkachi’s laughter reached her ears.

Naruto just ignored the furious gaze of his teammate’s Sharingan and sidled over to Kakashi and whispered in his ear: “So, Kakashi-sensei, who is the father?”

“You must look underneath the underneath, Naruto.”

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

Kakashi must have decided that the show was over because he merely pulled out Icha Icha Paradise and ignored the vibrant blond bundle of energy.

Sasuke rubbed her fingers against her temples as she felt a headache coming full-force. “Shut up, dobe.”

“What did you call me, Sasuke-teme!” Naruto yelled.

Sasuke didn’t answer. Well, to be more exact, she couldn’t answer as she suddenly felt another strong urge to vomit. The girl quickly leaned over the side of the bridge and attempt to bring up the lack of contents in her stomach. “Damn.” She managed to swear vehemently before another wave of nausea attacked her and she vomited again.

“Sasuke-kun…” Sakura murmured, feeling sorry for the other girl’s predicament as she rubbed Sasuke’s back in circles, trying to comfort her.

“And here I thought morning sickness was a myth…” Sasuke grumbled to herself as she straightened up. “Either that or I’m just unlucky.” Pushing Sakura away, she turned to leave the area. “I don’t feel like performing any missions today. I’m going home.”

The other members of Team 7 looked at one another. Kakashi shrugged. They then followed the sulking boy-turned-girl on her way back. Yet as they headed into the village’s main square, a voice chose that moment to yell: “Look, it’s Itachi!”

The cry received a number of different reactions among the—former—members of Team 7.

Sasuke’s head shot up immediately, instantly on alert and ready to attack the moment her brother appeared. ‘Itachi! Here? But there is no reason…’

Kakashi hid a grin behind the bright orange comic and thought: ‘I knew it.’

Naruto jumped in surprise, almost afraid. “What? Itachi? Is he after the Kyuubi again?”

Sakura’s reaction was one of curiosity as she thought: ‘Is this…Sasuke-kun’s brother?’

The voice came closer coupled with the sound of footsteps before the sounds came to a stop. “Wait, where did he go?”

Sasuke looked around hurriedly, trying to find where Itachi disappeared to. Naruto, similarly, began searching, at the same time taking on a fighting stance, ready to call forth the Rasengan should Itachi actually show up.

Worry, curiosity and panic suddenly arose in Sasuke, making themselves clear with the quickening beat of her heart. And the raven-haired girl found herself thinking: ‘Does he know? Why is he here?’ instead of how to kill Itachi this time. Hell, the female form must have been affecting her more than she first thought.

In her worry and fear, Sasuke didn’t notice Kakashi walk up silently behind her, and jumped when he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Calm down, girl.”

Sasuke glared at him. “Do not call me a girl.”

Kakashi might have said something in response but at that moment, the bush rustled and something emerged from it before disappearing just as quickly.

Sakura gasped.

Sasuke frowned. Why the hell was her brother hiding in a bush?

“I know you’re there!” It was Naruto who reacted first. The resident loudmouth threw a kunai into the bush, but obviously missed as something jumped out and onto his face. “NO! He got me!” The Kyuubi’s vessel screamed.

Sasuke just sighed and wondered why he got stuck with him on her team.

After watching Naruto leap around trying to detach whatever it was that had latched itself onto his face, Kakashi reached over and pulled the creature off. “Look, Naruto. It’s just a weasel.”

Naruto stared at the small creature which was poking its cute little head toward him, tilting slightly as if mocking him and his stupidity.

Sakura sighed in relief, and then pretended she knew what was going on the entire time. “You’re overreacting, Naruto.”

Naruto laughed, scratching at the back of his neck in a sheepish gesture.

“Usuratonkachi.”

The blond immediately lost his sheepish demeanor and glared at the raven-haired girl. “What did you just call me?”

“Usuratonkachi.”

“Why you—“

Kakashi raised a hand to stop the oncoming argument. “None of that now, Naruto.” He turned to look at Sasuke, who simply ignored him and started walking away. The silver haired-jounin sighed and closing Icha Icha Paradise, he stated offhandedly: “Well, it seems we can’t proceed with the mission today, so…you’re dismissed.”

Naruto nodded absently and left muttering to himself. “But I still want to know…”

Sakura glanced at where Naruto was a moment before, and then to where Sasuke had left from. “I’m going to go see if Sasuke-kun is alright.” She said to Kakashi, who merely shrugged and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

(x)

Surprisingly, Sakura found the door unlocked when she got to Sasuke’s apartment. She frowned. Opening the door slightly, she peered inside and made her presence known. “Sasuke-kun? Are you there?” When there was no response, her frown became even deeper and she allowed herself in just to make sure that Sasuke was okay.

As she let herself in, Sakura then noticed that the door to Sasuke’s bedroom was half-open. “Sasuke-kun?” She called again.

Still, no answer.

Trying to make as little noise as possible, Sakura slipped past the door and when she found her unfortunate crush sleeping there, on the bed, she could almost smile in relief. Yet—

As she saw Sasuke lying on her bed—the golden rays of bright sunlight peeking through the small slits between the dark-blue curtain, casting a shadow of the day over her sleeping features—it struck her. Quite hard. This realization of this seemingly surrealistic reality.

‘He looks so different…” The pink-haired girl thought to herself, and sat down on the bed next to him. ‘Will things ever return to normal? …Will Sasuke ever return to normal?’ She wondered.

Sakura started slightly as Sasuke stirred, mumbling in his sleep. “Nii-san…”

Sakura looked at the girl with some measure of sorrow in her expression. Her emerald eyes shone with compassionate yet regretful light. ‘Sasuke-kun…Sasuke-chan…She must have really loved her brother a lot…’ she thought, lightly brushing the other girl’s bangs out of her face and tracing the curve of her cheek. ‘I wonder what possessed Sasuke-kun to use Naruto’s perverse jutsu? Was he…drunk?’

Smiling lightly at the girl who leaned into her touch, Sakura only hoped that, wished that she, they, would be able to get through this ordeal…

TBC

Notes

Standard Review Note: The authors enjoy comments, criticism, and feedback. Sort of. Flames are stupid and base and don’t deserve the title ‘review’. Please feed the writers.

CHAPTER NOTES: The chapter was originally going to be rewritten but there were some problems that I (Kuroi) encountered as I looked through my outline. The minor details that we forgot to include are not that easy to…re-include. In some sense, they’re almost obsolete but still necessary information. Instead, I’ve included an important note below and any other details will be clarified in the future chapters.
(x) In the narration, Sasuke is referred to as "her" after the initlal paragraphs before we know of his condition. Naruto will continue to refer to Sasuke as "he" from habit, but will call him "her/she" when antagonizing Sasuke. Sakura is confused and will switch between "her/him" periodically. Kakashi will refer to Sasuke as "her" as he knows what is going on, and has always enjoyed teasing Sasuke anyway.

Writing Note: The writing style might change somewhat inbetween sentences. If that previous sentence didn’t quite work out in your head, please read on as I clarify. First of all, I (Kuroi) am the one transcripting the chapters first. That means we roleplay in relatively unorganized script format and I take the time to put it all together in something-hopefully-similar to prose. Then after I look through it to try and catch inconsistancies and errors, I send it to Chesiere who goes over it for flow and anything else I missed—mostly consistancy. She then sends it back to me and I go over it a couple more times in order to check for grammar, flow, and sense (whether sentences make sense, I mean,) and finally I post it. It’s a long and involved process that requires me being not lazy and her being available. More on that subject in the next section.

Kuroi’s Note: Considering that this is a joint RP fanfiction, this should probably be updated more often, much more often, than…Kuroi normally does (which is almost never.) However, Chesiere and I would like to make it understood that there is a little thing called real life and location that will simultaneously affect our schedule for this fic. Between the two of us is a...fifteen hour time difference, which greatly affects the time when we're simultaneously awake. Either she's got to come online before she goes to school, or I have to stay up into the ungodly hours of the morning (between 2am-5am) in order to catch her. Those of you who know me, shush. In any case, we will work on this fic when we have time/inclination to do so, but hopefully it can still be updated periodically (faster than every couple months/year, anyway.)

ART EXTRA: Kuroi is primarily an artist, rather than a writer. And as this is an Itachi/Sasuke fanfiction, I figured I'd give an art extra of one picture at the end of each chapter featuring the two brothers. If you do end up taking the time and effort to (get to) view the picture(s,) please let me know what you think of them? Chapter 1's art extra is a relatively small piece I drew for Chesiere. As FFnet does not allow hyperlinks and regular links are edited out, you'll have to copypaste the link into your browser and edit it to make a complete link.
(x) LINK: www (dot) livejournal (dot) com (slash) users (slash) kurosaisei (slash) 8090 (dot) html