|Victim Shop Kingdom Hearts
Author: windflame PM
Sora gets bankrupt, Hades finds true evil, Leon and Cloud get tricked and poor Ansem almost get killed what else could go wrong when you have a shop that would most likly make you insane just by stepping inside it.Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor - Words: 2,961 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 06-28-05 - Status: Complete - id: 2458751
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Victim Shop Kingdom Hearts
Windflame: oh this is boring, when is someone going to come in to bye something.
Ultimate warrior: Maybe you should switch the sign around to say open then.
Windflame: oh shut up, it's not my fault that it's the wrong way round.
Dark Saiyan angel: Just switch it around and let's make some money. (Leaning on the desk counter)
Windflame: ok done and are first victim is. (Waits about 5 minutes before someone comes in) Ansem
Ansem: yes I would like to bye something to do with darkness.
Ultimate warrior: yes well Dark Saiyan angel could help you out. (Pointing to Dark Saiyan angel with a grin)
Ansem: Dark, your name is dark have you ever thought about joining the heartless side. And be plunged into eternal darkness.
Dark Saiyan angel: I got the perfect thing for you. (Punches Ansem in the eyes making him fall over unconscious.)
Windflame: great now how are we going to trick him out of all his money. (Goes and takes money out of his wallet) never mind.
Ansem: Yes I am in pure Darkness. The darkness has finely taken me. (Lying on the floor still unconscious)
Ultimate warrior: now that's just creepy.
Dark Saiyan angel: hold on we got a new victim.
Sora: Um yah can we have directions to Hollow Bastion.
Windflame: Yes sure come this way, we have all you would ever need right here.
Donald: You know you just stepped all over that guys face. (Looking at Ansem on the floor)
Ultimate warrior: That's our new mat do you want to bye it, it's not that much. It just cost £10,000.
Goofy: WOH! That's a bargain we'll take it.
Dark Saiyan angel: I like this guy. (Whispering to Windflame)
Ultimate warrior: By the way don't worry if it keeps saying random words like 'yes I'm finally in total darkness'.
Donald: What did he just say?
Dark Saiyan angel: Nothing, now will that be cash or check.
Sora: Sorry but we don't have that kind of money.
Windflame: So you think that you can just walk into our shop AND PRETEND TO BUY OUR VERY VALUBLE STUFF! (Acting like a drama queen)
Ultimate warrior: now Windflame calm down your scaring the customers away.
Dark Saiyan angel: Yeah Windflame calm down.
Sora: Er we'll be one our way shall we?
Ultimate warrior: oh no you don't your friend Goofy owes us some money, we struck a deal remember. (Locking the door)
Donald: let us go or we will phone the police.
Dark Saiyan angel: What so we can get you arrested for shoplifting.
Sora: Please let us go we got to save the worlds.
Wind flame: wait one minute I've got an idea.
Ultimate warrior: Are you shore we can trust one of her ideas.
Windflame: hey I heard that and yes you can trust this idea. Why don't they pay us in easy installments, say about £5000 a week for ten weeks?
Sora: Hey that adds up to £50,000.
Windflame: I know. Don't you just love interest?
Ultimate warrior: I know I do. (Whispering to dark Saiyan angel)
Donald: what that's robbery.
Windflame: take it or leave it.
Ultimate warrior: by the way no refunds.
Goofy: gosh I'm really sorry guys.
Sora: Don't worry Goofy. Fine we'll take it, now will you let us go!
Dark Saiyan angel: shore who said you couldn't?
Donald: YOU DID!
Ultimate warrior: Thank you, come again.
(Sora & Donald & Goofy leave bankedruped)
Windflame: That went well don't you think?
Ultimate warrior: Yeah but what about him? (Pointing to the still unconscious heap of which is Ansem)
Dark Saiyan angel: Think of something later we have more victims.
Windflame: yah and its Cloud and Leon.
Ultimate warrior: isn't that blond one who you fancy.
Windflame: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. (Pulling out a twelve inch machete)
Leon: did we come at a bad time.
Dark Saiyan angel: No not at all, in fact you came at the perfect time. (Locking arms with Cloud and Leon to show them around)
Ultimate warrior: Look, Dark Saiyan angel is stealing your man. (Running away from the machete)
Windflame: Shut up.
Dark Saiyan angel: So what are you interested in.
Cloud: Really we need new swords for the up coming world coliseums tournaments.
Windflame: Great will give you a new look. (Comes out dragging Ultimate warrior in a head lock)
Leon: We only need swords!
Dark Saiyan angel: Yeah the changing rooms are just round the back. Now you can wear this and that and maybe this oh defiantly that.
Ultimate warrior: Oh thanks a lot you two, now you got these witches at it. (Crossing his arms and giving them an evil glare. While Cloud and Leon are slowly making there way to the door with scared faces.)
Dark Saiyan angel and Windflame: Where do you think your going? (Grabs them both and pushes them into the changing room and throwing the bright colors cloths on them.)
(Ansem wakes up while Ultimate warrior is testing out a solar flash light and is shinning it in his face.)
Ansem: AHHHHHHHHHHH THE LIGHT IT BURNS!
Dark Saiyan angel: SOMEONE SHUT HIM UP.
(Ultimate warrior goes up to Ansem and smacks him over the head with a candle stick)
Ultimate Warrior: Done. But what should I do with the murder weapon.
Leon: Murder weapon?
Windflame: He's just kidding around. Aren't you ultimate warrior?
Ultimate warrior: yeah, sure, what ever.
Dark Saiyan angel: Anyway back to business. I think this pink amour suite would look great on Leon don't you think Windflame.
Leon: NO WAY AM I BUYING THAT PINK AMOUR SUITE! We only came in to buy a couple of swords.
Ultimate warrior: calm down Leon don't get your knickers in a twist.
Leon: I'm not wearing knickers, I'm wearing boxers.
Dark Saiyan angel: Really, what kind?
Leon: Blue ones with yellow smiley faces.
Ultimate warrior: Did I really need to know that.
Leon: No, but-
Ultimate warrior: Whatever, the swords come to £20,000.
Cloud: what that's daylight robbery.
Dark Saiyan angel: Funny Sora, Donald and Goofy said the same thing.
Leon: You saw them, how are they?
Windflame: last time I saw them they were bankedruped. (Whispering to Dark Saiyan angel.)
Ultimate warrior: There doing fine but enough about them. These swords must be great quality for their price.
Leon: He's got a point you know. We'll take them. Cloud hurry up with the money.
(Cloud hands £20,000 over to Ultimate warrior)
Ultimate warrior: Thank you. Dark Saiyan angel go get the swords.
Dark Saiyan angel: Er I'm not your slave. There is a word you know.
Ultimate warrior: Ok. I'm sorry, PLEASE! Can you go and get the swords.
Dark Saiyan angel: Ok. (And walks off into the storage room.)
Ultimate warrior: Sorry she's not house trained yet.
Dark Saiyan angel: Hey I heard that! Here're your swords. (Handing over Cloud and Leon's new swords also showing her very own machete to Ultimate warrior.)
Cloud and Leon: Hey these are wooden swords!
Leon: is this meant to be some kind of joke, because if it isn't then we want our money back.
Windflame: First no and second no refunds.
Cloud: WHAT! You never told us about no refunds.
Ultimate warrior: That's because there's a sign right above you saying NO REFUNDS. Anyway you should be use to this after making a deal with Hades Cloud.
Cloud: Er maybe these swords will do. Come on Leon lets go hurry up. (Pushing Leon out of the shop.)
Leon: hey when did you make a deal with Hades and why?
Cloud: It doesn't matter let's go. BYE.
(Leon and Cloud leave in a hurry)
Dark Saiyan angel: Did you really have to tell Leon about Cloud's deal with Hades.
Ultimate warrior: no, but you got to admit Leon face would of made anyone crack-up when he heard the name Hades. (On the floor with his side's splitting from to much laughter.)
Hades: Did someone say my name.
Windflame: oh it's just Hades what's he doing here.
Hades: first WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S JUST HADES and second this is a shop isn't it?
Dark Saiyan angel: Yes this is a shop and what can we do for you?
Hades: I want to find out away to kill Hercules.
Ultimate warrior: Easy use this candle stick it worked on Ansem. (Ansem finally wakes up and walks out of the storage room dazed.)
Hades: Can I have a more reliable weapon you know badder Bing badder boom.
Dark Saiyan angel: Yah but it would cost you. (Dark Saiyan angel has a big grin on her face. as she goes to the back of the shop to get what Hades needs.)
Hades: So how come this is called Victim shop.
Windflame: Because we trick our costumers out of all there money. Become rich as we watch there poor souls become Victims as they cry over there lost.
Ultimate warrior: Yah there's that and were just looking for a good laugh.
(Hades looks at the two and for the first time he feels fear. Dark Saiyan angel comes back out with a create.)
Dark Saiyan Angel: Here you go just the item you need.
(Dark Saiyan angel opens the create. To reveal a box of flash grenades.)
Hades: WHAT YOU EPECT ME TO KILL HERCULES WITH A LIGHT SHOW.
Windflame: even I'm wondering where this is going. (Whispers to Ultimate warrior)
Dark Saiyan angel: Yes now just watch.
(Dark Saiyan angel hands every one a pair of protective goggles except Ansem)
Windflame: oh now I see.
Ultimate warrior: What do you see; I really don't get what's happening. (Looking at Windflame with a confused face on him.)
Hades: Don't worry mate either do I.
(Dark Saiyan angel picks up one of the flash grenades, puts on her goggles and throws the grenade right in front of Ansem. 5 Seconds later and there is a blinding light and all you can hear are terrifying cries from Ansem.)
Hades: So he's blinded by light and I'm not. I want something to kill Hercules.
Dark Saiyan angel: Yes but if you could blind him for a second, he would have to put his guard down giving you the chance to decapitate him.
Hades: What him?
Dark Saiyan angel: It's another way of saying chop his head off.
Hades: oh, I'll take the grenades if you put it that way. How much will it be then?
Dark Saiyan angel: it will be £5 for a crate grenades and £50,000 for a pair of protection goggles.
Hades: WHAT THAT'S A RIP OFF I'LL BUY THE PROTECTIVE GOGGLES SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Ultimate warrior: good luck finding a place that will sell them to you. We won't give you the flash grenades and you well need a license to use them.
Hades: Fine I'll take them but you won't be hearing from me ever again.
Windflame: and where is the bad side in that.
(Hades hands over the money while starring at Windflame with an evil glare and then leaves)
Dark Saiyan angel: Windflame watch the store will you, me and Ultimate worrier have to go and see how we are going to send Ansem here to Goofy.
(Dark Saiyan angel goes to the back off the store, while ultimate warrior drags Ansem to the back.)
Windflame: Great this is boring, no one interesting is going to come in.
(All of the sudden a moogle comes in. and Windflame gets an evil grin.)
Windflame: is there anything I can do for you.
Moogle: hello I would like some tools please.
Windflame: oh but of course come this way.
(Windflame brings the moogle over to the store cupboard. Where she opens it up and quickly stuffs the moogle in.)
Ultimate warrior: who was that?
Windflame: no one.
Dark Saiyan angel: then why are you trying to keep that cupboard shut.
Windflame: no reason.
Ultimate warrior: she kidnapped another moogle.
Dark Saiyan angel: not again I thought you stopped that.
Windflame: it's a hard habit to quit.
Riku: Um what are you up to.
Ultimate warrior: Um can we help you.
Windflame: yah were talking here, it's not like this is a shop that you just walk in when you want to.
Riku: um this is shop, that I came into bye something.
Dark Saiyan angel: I think we would know if this is a shop or not. Because we sell stuff here and shop sell stuff which we do not, so while you're here you can bye something or get lost.
Riku: yah ok then, well do you sell any hearts around here. I have to get one to save my friend.
Ultimate warrior: you can have his; he won't need it now. (Pointing to ansem, who is now sitting in the corner shitting himself silly.)
Riku: ah are you shore I can have his heart.
Ultimate warrior: yeah cause where shore, look we'll take it out of him our selves if you want. While you think about it I'll get my sword ready shall I? (Goes to the back of the store to collect his sword)
Dark Saiyan angel: well do you want his heart or not?
Riku: I'll take it.
Ultimate warrior: good I was hoping you would say that. Now would you like quick and painless death or slow and painful death?
Ansem: I ONLY CAME IN HERE TO BUY SOMETHING WITH DARKNESS AND NOW YOU WANT TO MURDER ME!
Windflame: yes, but if you die you will be in eternal darkness.
Ansem: your right, I'll take it.
Dark Saiyan angel: he's weird. (Whispering to Windflame.)
Ultimate warrior: eternal darkness hey, that will come to £49,999 but we'll round that of to £70,000
Ansem: It seems that my wallet got stolen. Can I pay you later?
Dark Saiyan angel: Its ok just signs this, so that you will give us all you priceless positions. That will allow us to sell them as well to people that will destroy them.
Ansem: I don't know.
Windflame and ultimate warrior: total darkness.
Ansem: I'll do it.
Ultimate warrior: Yes finally.
(Ultimate warrior picks up his sword and dramatically slowly goes to cut Ansem heart out. Wile dramatic music started to play. But stops when a knock is heard coming from the door.)
Mickey mouse: You three are under arrest for attempted murder, kidnapping, charging your customers to much. Not to mention selling things with out a licensed.
Windflame: what you don't have any proof.
(Mickey sweet droops as he looks at Ultimate warrior, who has his sword just 2 inches from cutting out Ansem heart.)
Mickey mouse: Yah well your going to jail, Guards.
Ultimate warrior: what that's not fair we haven't done anything. (Throws his sword across the room almost cutting off Mickey head.) Um I didn't do it.
Dark Saiyan angel: Can't we sort something out, why don't you bye something.
Windflame: yah let us just finish up with Riku.
Riku: Yah well actually I think I better get going.
Ansem: What about my darkness.
Guard 1: your coming down to the station now.
Ultimate warrior: No we are not.
Guard 2: yes you are
Ultimate warrior: No we are not.
Guard 2: yes you are
Ultimate warrior: No we are not.
Guard 2: yes you are
Ultimate warrior: yes we are
Guard 2: No you are not.
Windflame: thanks for letting us go.
Guard 1: What we didn't say anything like that.
Dark Saiyan angel: Yes you did, he just said that we are not going down to the station.
Mickey mouse: I can't believe you just fell for that.
Ultimate warrior: Yah well, we'll be seeing yah because you owe us some money for shutting us down here.
Windflame: Yah about £9,000 for it should do.
Dark Saiyan angel: Yah and about £98,497 for bringing in the police to arrest us.
Ultimate warrior: Not to mention losing us 2 customer which well come to £6,940
Mickey mouse: What your not suppose to be making a profit. When you meant to be going to jail Guards get them.
(Windflame, Dark Saiyan angel and ultimate warrior are all at the back of the room trying to get away from the guards, When Windflame trips on a wire that is connected to a catapult. And flings Dark Saiyan angel, ultimate warrior and Windflame across the far reaches of the galaxy.)
Windflame: that will cost you.
Ultimate warrior: well send you the bill.
Mickey mouse: great they got away and are still trying to make me bankrupt.
Ansem: WHAT ABOUT MY DARKNESS.
Guard 1: Shut up. (Whacks Ansem over the head with his fist)
Riku: Hay some one stole my wallet.
Mickey mouse: Mine too.
Both guards: ours are gone to.
(Half way across the galaxy.)
Windflame: I grabbed the tools we need.
Dark Saiyan angel: I grabbed the money we made
Ultimate warrior: And I grabbed every ones wallet.
Windflame: now where are we going to make money?
Ultimate warrior: Kingdome hearts was a good place. Loads suckers to trick.
Dark Saiyan angel: Why not here.
Windflame: but where is here
Dark Saiyan angel: Dragonballz of course.