|Valentine's In Studio Guest
Author: G.L. Peabody PM
Ozzy makes an appearance at WKRP when the station sponsors the Cincinnati stop on his '82 Diary of a Madman Tour. Jerry Springer pops in, as well as characters Will Ferrill created for Saturday Night Live...Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,483 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 04-05-07 - Published: 06-28-05 - id: 2459693
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Arthur Carlson looked across his desk at his staff. They definitely were not pleased about coming in on a Saturday. He could hardly blame them. They were up fairly late the night before at the Ozzy Osbourne concert. Not exactly the "Big Guy's" form of music, but it was a good promo for the station.
Carlson started off with, "You're probably wondering why you are here."
Dr. Johnny fever asked, "Yes, why are we here?"
Carlson looked at Andy Travis and said, "Well, Travis, tell them."
Travis looked surprised and replied, "I didn't call this meeting, you did."
Carlson looked puzzled and inquired, "Did I? I don't remember calling it."
Les interjected with, "Maybe this would be a good time to talk about my walls."
Herb complained, "Come on Les, I didn't come on a Saturday in to listen to you go on about your walls."
Bailey declared, "I'm sure there must be a good reason why we are here."
Jennifer Marlowe then made an entrance announcing, "Yes there is. I was the one who called this meeting."
Venus asked incredulously, "You called the meeting?"
Jennifer answered, "Yes, I called the meeting. Ozzy and Sharon were so impressed with our handling of the concert, they invited us to their hotel in Lexington Kentucky for a Valentine's party tonight."
Herb looked a little lecherous and said to Jennifer, "You have a date?"
Jennifer looked a little seductive and cooed, "Well Jerry's busy. I was hoping Lester would escort me." The secretary then left the room.
Herb soon exited, but told Les on the way out, "I'll get you."
Venus said "Well, I got to find me a lady. I don't have the Nessman touch." The DJ continued, referring to a banquet the news director took the secretary to a few years back, "Second date, Lester. You know what that means."
Les asked, "No what does that mean."
Johnny said, "Means you two will be sharing a room."
Les looked very nervous, but Baily reassured him with, "Don't listen to them, Les."
After finding sitters for the kids (who of course complained that they were far to old for sitters), the Carlsons made the two hour ride to the Kentucky city in the back seat of the Tarleks' Cordova. The rich Corenthian leather was comfortable, but it didn't offset the unease caused by the Tarleks' constant bickering. When Herb and Lucille weren't fighting, the sales director was constantly giving new pitches to Arthur. It was a long trip.
The group in the Suburban had a better time. Andy and his date, a lawyer of all things he met at the concert, were up front. Johnny and Bailey, who insisted they just couldn't find anybody else to go with at such short notice, took the middle seat, while Venus and his lady friend took the rear. They spent most of the trip listening to some of Andy's vast 8 track selection. They sang along with everything from Johnny Cash to Johnny Rotten.
Johnny asked, "Where is Les and Jennifer."
Bailey answered, "Jennifer is driving Les up to the concert in her car."
Andy laughed, "I hope Lester knows what he is getting in for."
Jennifer had a nice quiet drive up. Les hardly said a word. She took it for shyness. Soon they arrived at the hotel. Les was a gentleman and helped Jennifer with the bags. Actually he almost fought the bellman when the hotel employee attempted to handle the blond receptionist's baggage.
When they got to reception. Jennifer spoke first, as Les was having trouble with words. "Jennifer Marlowe checking in." She told the clerk.
The reservations clerk looked at the newly installed computer system and said, "Yes Ms. Marlowe, I see you are sharing a room." Les dropped the baggage.
Jennifer said, "Les, are you all right? You look like you are about to faint! I told you to let the bell hop handle the bags."
The clerk informed Jennifer, "Your room-mate, Miss Quarters, has already checked in. We would be happy to help you and your friend with your luggage." The clerk signaled a bell hop who took Jennifers bags and Les' overnight bag.
Les stammered, "Bailey, you're sharing a room with Bailey."
Jennifer smiled and said, "Of course Les. Who else would I be rooming with?"
Les relieved replied, "Oh, I thought you might have gotten a room by yourself." Les then quickly turned to the clerk, "Les Nessman, WKRP News."
The clerk smiled and told Les, "Yes, Mr. Nessman. I have you in with a Dr. Fever."
When Les entered the room, Johnny put down his Jack Daniels and cried out, "Lester! I was hoping we could work something out with room arrangements, but the girls insist on staying together."
Les said, "That's quite all right."
Johnny took another sip of his Bourbon and said, "Well they sure know how to make whiskey in Kentucky. Anyway, the night is still young. Who knows—there still may be time to change bed assignments." That did not assure Les at all.
It wasn't long before it was time to head down to the ballroom for Ozzy and Sharon's Valentine's Day party. Even though Ozzy just had come from doing a show, he was in rare form.
Andy said to Mr. Carlson, "Ozzy is definitely nocturnal."
The big guy answered, "So are vampires."
Most of the evening was spent on the dance floor. The Carlsons were pleased at the number of "traditional" dance songs the DJ played. Arthur was expecting an evening of loud rock, but it turned out to be fairly romantic.
After a couple of hours, the couples started dismissing themselves upstairs to the rooms. Soon, all that was left was Bailey, Johnny, Jennifer, and Johnny.
Bailey said, "Well, I'm exhausted. I'm about ready to head upstairs"
Jennifer agreed, "So am I, I think I'll join you."
Johnny said, "Already?"
Les was kind of relieved. He was afraid he might end up having to entertain Jennifer in his room while Johnny tried pitching woo with Bailey. Nessman volunteered, "I'll walk you ladies up to your room."
Johnny gave Les a dirty look, and said, "Yes, we'll walk you up."
After dropping the ladies off at their room, Johnny told his room mate, "Man, we have to work out some sort of signal system."
Les surprised Johnny by quipping, "John, I'm surprised nobody warned you of the dangers of fishing off the company pier."
The next morning the WKRP group joined Ozzy and Sharon for a Valentine's Day Sunday brunch.
Sharon said, "I'm glad you could come down here. We had such a lovely time in Cincinnati Friday night."
Ozzy agreed, "Your town rocks."
Bailey replied, "Thanks for inviting us. We hope you'll come back through our city soon."
Andy said, "Hear hear!"
Venus looked at the fine young woman on his arm and said, "That was one righteous party."
Ozzy said, "Well, it was a good night for romance."
Everybody groaned at the play on words, except for Mr. Carlson, who admitted to Carmen later that he didn't get it.