By Megan

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: This is a parody on the Robin/Starfire/Raven triangle. What if the girls were sick of it all?

Tired of being juggled by Robin, Starfire and Raven decided upon an act of vengeance. Borrowing the T-ship from Cyborg, they flew the Boy Wonder to Tameran.

Raven piloted as Starfire wove her tale of woe.

"Oh dear Robin, my caretaker had died, and thus I must return to my home to be its queen. Because of my cruel sister, I must once again be forced to marry the putrid Gurglespetch. I know you cannot be happy for me, and while I cannot blame you, would you please be with me for my last few days as a bachelorette?" Starfire was careful to use the speech Raven had written for her, using her most saddened and dramatic tone.

Robin bought the story, hook line and sinker. "I'll do anything to make this easier for you," he promised. "And if there's any way to stop it, I'll be sure to take action. I won't let you fall to this monster." He fisted his hand, and steeled his resolve.

The empath focused on their course, trying not to smile. "Careful Robin," she warned, "Your complex is showing."

But of course, the girls had counted on just that…

On Tameran, Starfire's people were carefully setting up the wedding. They did not understand why their beloved princess had returned to marry their enemy, but did not question her decision. She was a strong and beautiful girl, and therefore they followed her loyally. Gurglespletch awaited his bride in one of the guest suites, gurgling happily at this lucky turn of events.

The sound of disturbed rubble and running engines carried across the wasteland.

Their guests had arrived.

True to his word, Robin fawned over Starfire for the rest of the day, and she worked hard to appreciate his attention. Knowing it was only his hero-complex that made him treat her so helped her to retain her dislike for him. She did not want a boyfriend who would only pay her mind when she was in danger, which was not often for one of Tameranian strength.

Raven spent the time working behind the scenes; comparing legalities between Tameranian and Earth matrimonial ceremonies, and clearing the plan with Gurglespletch. After all, they had no qualms with the slimy alien-only his future life-partner.

The thought brought a smirk to Raven's lips. She was tempted, in her good mood, to swipe a bit of icing off of the 'cake'. The feeling was easily repressed, when she recalled what went into Tameranian cuisine.

The ceremony began after nightfall, when several suns finally set. The palace was almost quiet, as Starfire walked down the aisle, looking perfectly miserable. Robin was in the audience, trembling with anger.

Raven caused the flowers in Starfire's hands to stand straight up, their planned signal.

The princess turned with a dramatic sweep of her dress, throwing her headdress to the side, and throwing herself at Robin's feet with a wail. "Oh Robin, my dear friend…do not let this happen to me…if you truly care for me, you will take my place at this altar, and save me from my cruel and unusual fate!" The final part was crucial, Starfire knew, for it would appeal to the boy, and rope them into their scheme.

Stiff with fear, Robin looked down upon her, eyes wide behind the mask. 'Oh no,' he thought, 'I…I cannot resist…hero-complex, too strong…must not…give in. Must not…save the pretty maiden and earn her undying love and gratitude…oh…oh shit…'

"Anything Starfire. I will do anything to save you."

And with less than a dozen words, Robin's fate was sealed.

"I now pronounce you husband and…husband," the Tameranian priest said, his voice filling the room.

'There's no way this is legal…surely Raven will object…doesn't she have a thing for me now? I'd gladly choose her over this slug-beast…' The Boy Wonder was desperate for freedom, unable to comprehend what had just happened to him. At one point, he'd been cruising space with his two favorite girls. Next thing he knew, he was married to a slug-like being from another planet.

He'd never had problems like this in Gotham.

"Raven, psst!" he whispered, as the procession passed the dark empath. "Say you object-get me out of this, please!"

She widened her eyes in mock-innocence. "But Robbie-poo, don't you at least want to stick around for the…honeymoon?" It was all she could do to keep from laughing maniacally.

Robin's breath caught in his chest. She…Raven was going to let him take the fall…how…how could she…

"What are you doing Raven! Cut the crap and get me out of here!"

Just then, Gurglespletch decided it was time to take his 'bride' home. With a sickening lurch, Robin found himself hoisted into the air, and over one of the many, slime covered shoulders of his new husband. A horrible sense of doom settled in his stomach, as he watched Raven and Starfire move farther and farther from reach.

"I can't believe they did this," he moaned. "Girls…what the fuck is up with them?"

" Tell me about it, " Gurglespletch…gurgled.

Robin gave the alien a wry grin. "Well…at least I won't have to worry about them anymore…I guess…"

The Boy Wonder hung his head, resigned to his new life. He couldn't blame the girls for leaving him as such.

He should've made a choice, and in the end, they made it for him.

"Let's go home," he sighed, settling into the mass of his new husband.

Uhm…I was talking to Jean about how much we hate the cartoon's version of Robin, and how horrid it is that R/R and R/S shippers force the girls to be with him…and my sick little mind came up with…this. I'm sorry to all the poor, innocent people who will now feel the need to kill me.