Disclaimer: We don't own Fruits Basket.

Aubrey's crap: Last chapter, childrens.

Depression was the general air and it only got worse when Akito finally came for them.

"You're both coming back with me." He stated very plainly. "And I HOPE you've both learned your lessons, so I don't have to repeat myself?" Kyo nodded vigorously, not wishing to infuriate the head any more than he already had. Haru didn't agree, but he didn't fight either, and just followed them back in sullen silence. He didn't know what to do now. Was there anything he could do? He didn't want to hurt Kyo any more.

There really wasn't any way to hurt Kyo more. He just sat in his spot, and from then on when Akito left he made sure there was no way for them to get out, and no way in except for the keys he and Hatori carried. The dragon still needed to get in the check on Kyo. Most of his outer injuries would be fine, but the doctor had to watch his broken bones.

Eventually, Akito left them alone, content that they were locked in. (That, and he really did have to take care of some of his head business.) And, that was when Haru approached Kyo for the first time since New Years. He really just sat there for a few minutes, before leaning forward to place one of those clumsy kisses of his on Kyo's lips. He flushed a bit, upon pulling back again.

"Kisses mean 'I love you'." He quoted, still blushing a bit. Akito would be furious about this, if he ever found out but Haru found himself unable to care, and just wanting Kyo to know this. The kitty smiled tiredly, the crinkle around his eyes lost in the dark bags under them. He settled forward and rested his head on the other's shoulder.

"I love you too." And he didn't care any longer who knew it.

"I'm sorry." Haru repeated yet again. "I-i'm sorry about what happened. I-i want you to be happy, though."

"Don't worry about me, Haru." The red head said once more. "Something will happen and it'll be over finally. I promise." Somebody was going to have to die for this to happen... who was the question.

The question that didn't go unanswered for long because Akito was not going to deal with his disobedient pets much longer. Exactly how he found out about their little affair wasn't apparent. The only thing they knew, was a few weeks later, he confronted them over it. And BOY was he mad, to the point where he needed to remind Kyo just who was the master and who was the monster. Akito had already gotten Haru out of the way, for now, and then advanced on Kyo, pulling painfully on his broken arm to remove the beads. Kyo had resisted as much as he could but it hadn't helped. Then Akito had stepped closer to touch him and... Much like Tohru's shoulder, Akito found himself with a deep gash. Only in a much more vital place. Not being human, little monster Kyo wasn't affected by the supposed 'rules'. But when he realized he'd just killed Akito he slipped back into his human form and watched the head bleed and he couldn't help but cry. His monster was congratulating him profusely and very proud but the rest of him was reeling that he'd just killed his first person.

"Kyo?" Haru called, banging on the locked screen doors, where Akito had shut him up in the garden. "Kyo? Master? What's going on in there?" Kyo whimpered and scrabbled across the floor to call Hatori, not to let Haru in. He didn't know what to do and he was scared. "Kyo?" Haru called again. Now Kyo wasn't the only one who was scared. Haru was worried about his two favorite people. "Kyo, please let me in?"

Hatori agreed to come, and set out immediately. When the dragon arrived he immediately had a terrified cat attached to his legs whimpering incoherently about how he hadn't meant to. Haru was still trying to be let back in, but Hatori also ignored him, and shook Kyo off long enough to see what he could do about helping Akito. After seeing that he was, indeed, dead, he and Kureno worked to get the body out. Haru wasn't let back in until the room was cleaned up. And when that occurred, he just babbled frantically to Kyo about what had happened, ending finally with,

"And-and—and where's Master?"

"I'm sorry, Haru." The kitten's lower lip trembled still. "But he's dead and it's my fault and I'm sorry and please don't go!" He was nearly wailing as he moved forward and buried his face in the younger's shoulder. Haru's eyes widened, and his mouth opened a little, upon hearing that.

"You killed him...?" The ox wondered, feeling tears gloss over his own eyes. Akito had been everything to him for so long and now he was just gone? He hadn't been THAT angry.

"Yes, I know you care about him. I'm so sorry, Haru." Kyo groaned.

"I-i don't..." Haru stammered for a few minutes, feeling the warm liquid start to drip down his cheeks, but he didn't completely take in the fact that he was crying. He just rested his chin on top of Kyo's head, unsure of what to do now.

"Please don't go! Don't be mad at me! I need you!" The smaller was sobbing and frightened. He'd killed someone that Haru had loved. It made Kyo sad to admit it, but he knew Haru had loved him. He feared he'd lost the ox's love by killing Akito.

"I… but I don't... what can..." Haru was on the verge of hysterics, and not just from Akito dying. He didn't have a home or caretaker anymore, and the thought terrified him. Of course, the fact that he'd lost his precious master in the same move really didn't help matters at all. Kyo was still sobbing and whimpering about something. Until Hatori came and intervened with some tranquilizer, if Haru began actually getting hysterical, he would be subject to the same treatment. All Haru found himself willing to do was sit there and silently cry though. Occasionally, he'd mumble something, but he really couldn't seem to force himself to move. Not even far enough to go curl up in Akito's bed, as he so desperately wanted to. Nope, he just sat there by the door, staring through the blur of his tears at the floor.

Finally, someone came to talk to him.

"It will be okay, Hatsuharu." Hatori assured him, because really, they were all quite capable of living their lives without Akito. Haru just shook his head slowly, though. Hatori obviously didn't understand the magnitude of this.

"N-no it won't b-be."

"And why not?" The dragon wanted to know.

"He-he's gone." Haru stated, barely able to search out the words in his mind to get his message across. "A-and so is my h-h-home."'

"Of course not." The doctor sighed. "You had a different home before you came to live here, you know." Well, actually, the ox hadn't known. He'd just assumed that he'd always lived there. So, he just sniffed and shook his head. "You can move back there and Kyo is free now too." The older added. Haru shook his head, a bit more.

"I don't want to leave." Haru protested. This was where he'd lived for as long as he could remember. Everything was happening all at once and it really was just too much for him. Hatori shrugged to that. Right now he wasn't going to bug the ox too much, since Akito had JUST died and besides, he needed to take care of other things.

Haru worked up the energy and will to actually move. His first stop was his own bed, where he retrieved that doll of his, and then straight over to Akito's bed, which he crawled into, proceeding to choke out a small sob, his tears flowing harder. Yes, he'd been angry that Akito had hurt Kyo so badly, but he hadn't wanted him dead. The fact that he had indeed been angry with him when it had happened just made him feel worse.

So, in general everyone was sad. Haru was sad about Akito dying and Kyo was hysterical about killing him and losing Haru forever. (At least, so he thought.) But until Akito's funeral, no one thought Haru needed to be messed with. He and Kureno were appropriately sad. The red headed cat on the other hand seemed in need of therapy.

"Kyo, calm down." Hatori pleaded with him tiredly one day, not too long off from the funeral. "Hatsuharu's not angry with you, he's just sad." The fact that the ox had yet to vacate Akito's bed didn't bode too well, but Kureno had agreed to watch him until the funeral, and assured the doctor that he was still eating and everything. But the cat wasn't listening. He was absolutely positive Haru was going to leave him now and he couldn't handle it. He just buried his face in his hands and continued to cry. "You can try to go see him, if you want." Hatori had decided it might be worth it to just give up trying to not meddle with these two, and just try to help. Which was what he was trying to do now. Haru wouldn't see anyone, but it never hurt to try, right? "Don't take it personally if he won't let you in."

"NO!" Kyo groaned. He wasn't going to go see Haru. He wasn't going to give the other a chance.

"Fine." Hatori murmured, shaking his head a little. "But, he's really not angry with you. And, you'd see that, if you'd go see him." He was sure Haru would let Kyo in... Maybe...

They didn't see each other until the funeral. Kyo hadn't wanted to go, but he knew that everyone was expected to. So, he just stood there feeling miserable, guilty and hoped he could avoid running into anyone, not just Haru. That just wasn't meant to be. About half way through the actual burial, Haru just lost it and ran off. Hatori sighed, and tossed a look after the ox. He didn't plan on following him, but he hoped Kyo at least had the sense to. They'd need help getting Haru out of Akito's room, and it would be a lot easier if he didn't feel completely alone all the time. The cat felt his heartstrings pull. He didn't want to, but he followed after the ox hesitantly. He'd reached a resolution. If Haru wanted nothing more to do with him, then he was simply going to kill himself. Enough said. He was done worrying. He was done caring. Haru hadn't gotten very far, before he'd collapsed down to his knees, sobbing quietly into his hands. He looked up when Kyo approached him, even though he didn't really move. He had thought Kyo didn't love him anymore, and that was why he hadn't come back, after Hatori had taken him away.

"I'm sorry, Haru." The red head told him tightly. "But you don't need to be so sad." Haru sniffed, and scrubbed furiously at his eyes to try and dry them, before just turning and throwing his arms around Kyo's waist, now crying into his waist. He began stammering out the insecurities he'd been feeling for the past few days. "You don't need me, Haru." The cat replied flatly. "You don't need Akito either. You don't need anyone. You're not a puppy and I know, if you would believe that, you could take care of yourself."

"I-i-I d-don't want to-to be a-a-alone!" Haru managed to choke out. "I-i'm s-sorry if I've d-done s-something wr-wrong, b-but please don't be a-a-angry with me! I-i don't want t-to l-lo-lose anyone e-else!"

"You didn't do anything." The older tried desperately. "Haru, I'm the one who messed everything up! Why can't you see that?" It was all his fault, every last tiny bit of it!

"No!" Haru shook his head unhappily. "No! Not your fault! Not at all!" Well, maybe a little, for actually doing the act of the killing, but other than that, Kyo was totally innocent.

Finally Kyo just tugged away from him. "I killed the person you love."

"One of the people," Haru corrected, sniffling softly. "You-you're still alive, aren't you?"

"We're not the same people anymore." The older whispered, taking a few more steps away. "It was childish of me. I don't really know you at all."

"What are you talking about?" Haru frowned. He'd actually stopped crying for a minute, but now he looked like he might start again. "You told me that we've known each other since we were little."

"You don't remember that." The feline retorted darkly.

"So?" He crawled forward, hugging his waist again. "Who cares? I know about it, right? Isn't it the same thing?" He rested his cheek against the cat's stomach, unsure that he really wanted to say what he did next. "Kyo, I can't have Master back," He stated, quoting what Hatori and Kureno had told him. "But, I can still not lose you. Please don't take anyone else away from me?"

"It isn't the same." Kyo replied quietly. "I'm tired, Haru! I can barely take care of myself and when I'm with you... You're-you're-I have to take care of you too!"

"Well, what if you didn't have to take care of yourself?" Haru wondered slowly. Kureno had told him he'd have to leave Akito's room after the funeral anyway. "H-hatori told me I have a house. You can come stay with me there? I-i'm going to have to leave Master's room today anyway." Kyo looked despondent and then he kind of broke.

"Fine." he murmured. He didn't care anymore. He'd dedicated himself to Haru; it might as well be entirely.

"Thank you." Haru mumbled, his voice muffled by turning his head so that he was actually speaking into Kyo's stomach. "I-i'll find out where it is, and I'll learn to cook as good as the maids do, and I won't even mention Master, if you don't want me to." He was still sad about losing him, but at the moment he was too focused on keeping Kyo, to dwell on it too much.

"I know where it is." Kyo mumbled. "And I know how to cook."

"But, I just told you that you won't have to take care of yourself!" Haru protested a little, frowning. How was he going helping if he made Kyo do the cooking?

"Haru. Stop." The cat tried. "You don't understand anything at all. We're both people. We're not supposed to have to take care of each other. I shouldn't have had to. We're supposed to be the same, equals. And we're not. So, just, stop and leave it alone."

"I want to understand, though!" Haru tried, frowning in exasperated despair. "I-i want to understand for you! I just-let me help? Tell me what to do and I'll try. I just-just don't want you to hate me and leave!"

"Haru, I want to go now." The feline told him. "I'll show you where the house is."

"And, you'll stay too, right?" Haru requested, slowly forcing himself to his feet. Kyo kept saying how important it was for him to know that he was a person. So, he was going to start trying to walk all the time.

"Yes." The older nodded. "But I want to go there, right now." He didn't want to stay at Akito's funeral. He was guilty for killing the man, but he still hated him.

"Alright." Haru nodded slowly. He'd go back out, and get his things and say good-bye to Akito later. For now, he was just going to go where Kyo wanted. And, if that was his old house, then so be it.

It wasn't that exciting, even once they were living together. Haru was still naive and always testing Kyo's will to live and sanity. Most of the time the red head stayed in bed, only getting up to cook, wash, or clean something. He'd also developed a rather annoying habit of always being freezing cold, part of why he always stayed in bed.

"Kyo?" Haru addressed him, one night, curling up against him. "Are you alright? I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine." The standard answer that the shattered feline had picked up.

"No you're not," Haru protested, resting his chin on the other's shoulder. "You never get out bed anymore. Should I call Hatori or your dad?" Maybe Kyo would rather talk to one of them.

"I cleaned the living room yesterday, and I do all the cooking." The red head snorted. "I get out of bed."

"But," Haru started to protest, but just ended up sighing. "Please tell me what's wrong? You're really scaring me." Kyo was tempted to explain that he was almost positive he hated the other, but he just snorted again.

"There's nothing wrong. Don't be scared, ya big baby."

"You're lying now." Haru pulled away from him looking hurt and confused. "You-you're lying to me. You're sure I didn't do anything wrong? That you're not angry?"

Oh no, he hadn't done anything wrong! He'd just guilted Kyo into this after Kyo had FINALLY realized that this was not the man he'd fallen in love with and he would never EVER have that man back. Of course the little naive fucker hadn't done ANYTHING wrong!

"Of course you didn't do anything, Haru."

"Kyo," Haru mumbled, before just crawling out of bed and toward the door. Kyo wasn't going to talk to him so; he'd just go find someone who he would talk to. The cat sighed happily once it was quite again and squirmed down into the warm covers.

Haru wasn't positive whom Kyo would talk to, so he decided to try the two people Kyo talked to most. He decided to start with Kazuma, he was farther, but would probably have a better chance of success.

Kazuma wasn't sure he wanted to meddle though. Neither he nor Hatori particularly wanted to meddle. But when Haru came he knew something was wrong and that he was going to be expected to fix it.

"Where's Kyo?" he sighed.

"Home." The ox answered slowly. "I-i'm worried about him, but he won't tell me what's wrong, will you please try?"

"Alright." The man agreed. But Kyo didn't appreciate the sentiment when he appeared.

"Hatsuharu's very worried about you." The karate instructor informed his son, leaning against the bedroom wall idly. Haru wasn't in the room. "Are you going to tell me why?"

"Because he's a child and worries about everything."

"Is there something for him to worry about?" Kazuma raised an eyebrow idly. "And, I'll be able to tell if you're lying, so don't bother."

"I want my life back." The cat growled, sitting up and shivering in the, actually, not very cold air. "You were fucking wrong! ALL OF YOU! He isn't Haru! I should have gone with what I thought! But I listened to you! And now I'm trapped here with this DOG!"

Kazuma just eyed him evenly. "Then why don't you leave, if you're so miserable?" Kyo stared at him for a moment before getting up.

"Good idea, Shishou." The cat snarled. He got some socks and put them on before pushing past him and going downstairs. "Thanks. I owe you one." He got his shoes and then left the house. He wasn't listening to anyone anymore. He was going to go downtown to a bank, get the money out of his account and then he would live by himself in an apartment and get a boyfriend that he actually loved. Or at least one that would have sex with him.

That hadn't really worked the way he'd planned, and Kazuma watched after him for a moment, frowning. He supposed Kyo did need to start thinking about himself, though, and just followed his path for the front door. He didn't know that Haru had been able to hear him, or see Kyo leave. No body saw Haru leave the kitchen, and head upstairs, and enter the bathroom, digging around until he found something sharp. No body knew that a cycle was about to repeat itself, with one very important detail, and he drew the razor blade across his wrists, feeling unhappy vomit rising in his throat.

This time, there wasn't anyone to find him, before it was too late.

He wondered if Kyo would cry, if he ever found out?

(Author's Note: This is where Ali wanted it to end, because everyone is being so emo. But that ISN'T how we originally planned to end it… so… Here's the rest.)

Kyo probably wasn't going to ever find out. He was stalking across town irritably. Kazuma, on the other hand, had felt his heartstrings pull as he walked home. Someone really should be there to tell Hatsuharu what had happened, rather than just let him find out. So, he'd turned around and come back in to search for the boy. Needless to say he found him bleeding in the bathroom. Kazuma picked him up and quickly carried him to Hatori's, ignoring the blood that was getting on his robes.

Haru was still mostly conscious, but he didn't try to resist as Kazuma carried him out of his house. He didn't care what happened anymore. He wasn't scared, and in the ten minutes or so that he'd been alone and bleeding, he'd started to remember everything. EVERYTHING. Including his time with Akito.

A trauma to cancel out his trauma…

And, now he just didn't care what happened next.

Everyone else did though. Hatori was getting really tired of the overly emotional little fuck. So help him... If Haru died after all the shit they went through for him! But Dr. Hatori can fix anything but his own broken heart, right?

Eventually Haru was unconscious in a bed with his wrists stitched up, IVs and blood dripping into him. Kazuma stood to one side feeling just a little guilty. Hatori sighed tiredly, once Haru was taken care of, and came back out to where Kazuma was waiting, and sat down heavily in his desk chair.

"What happened is fairly obvious," He wasn't sure why he was bothering to ask anymore. "But, do you know why?"

"Kyo left." The man sighed.

"Alright then." That explained everything. That was why he'd tried before; he didn't have any more questions left. "Thank you for bringing him in, but if you want to go home now that's fine."

"Okay." Kazuma turned to leave, wondering absently if he would be able to find Kyo again to tell him about this or if Kyo would care.

Despite having been found sooner, Haru still actually came closer to dying this time. And, when Hatori tried to get him to answer his questions, and berate him, the dragon was completely ignored. As stated before, he just honestly didn't care anymore. He KNEW he'd fucked up again. He knew it was over. And, he knew that it would never be the same, could never be fixed, and regardless of whether he'd meant to do so or not, it was still his fault. Hatori managed to keep Haru alive but really he wasn't sure if he was being kind of cruel by doing so.

Either way, no one could get a hold of Kyo because he didn't come back to the compound and had no intention of returning to the compound. His actual intentions were to frequent the bars nearest the place of residence he'd picked up and wait for someone to have sex with. But then, by complete dumb luck someone did find him.

Ayame.

"Kyonkichi?" The snake blinked. He'd been out buying more thread, and just happened to stumble upon him. He really hadn't meant to. The cat blinked at him. It was the afternoon but he was already rather drunk.

"Oh, Ayame." The red head quickly found something to lean on, since he was swaying on his feet a little.

"Where have you been?" Ayame wondered blinking again. "Tori-san said you'd been on the compound, but then you left."

"I have this apartment, that I share with this guy." The feline rambled off.

"Sure, sure, enough about that." He was interrupted. "Did you happen to hear about Haru-chan?"

"Don't care." Kyo told him quickly.

"Oh, I think you'll care after you hear!" Aaya corrected smugly. "He got all his memories back. Or at least, that's what Tori-san thinks. Apparently he won't talk too much though."

Kyo almost fell over. "W-wait... what?"

"He got all his memories back...?" Ayame offered unsurely. He might have just completely gotten lost during some point in his babble.

The younger stared at him for a moment. "I need to go then..." He mumbled setting off unsteadily in the general direction of the compound.

Seeing Haru would have been a lot easier if Haru would have seen him, though. He'd woken up, but Hatori wouldn't let him leave his office just yet, on the grounds that this was his third attempt in five years, and it was just best for him to stay where he could be supervised. And Haru was honestly pouting about that. He'd finally gotten his personality back and he wanted to go home! But, no!

Not that Kyo really cared if Haru was pouting or not. Hatori attempted to get Kyo to just stop and calm down but the feline glared at him and pushed past him to see the ox.

But as previously stated, Haru was sulking, so he tossed one look at Kyo, and rolled back over to continue and finger one of his bandages, considering he still couldn't move the fingers on the other one. That was actually enough for Kyo right there. He walked over calmly and sat down in the chair next to the bed and watched Haru. He was fairly certain it was him, but he wanted to be absolutely certain.

"You're the one who left." Haru spoke up finally, after about fifteen minutes of that. "Why are you staring at me?"

"Because it's actually you." The red head mumbled.

"And just who were you expecting?" Haru actually bothered to roll back over, and look at him again. "The pope?" Kyo leaned closer to him and blinked lazily a few times.

"The puppy I left behind."

"Pfft." Haru rolled his eyes, feeling a bit disgusted with himself. "Of course, my mistake." Then Kyo just got up and moved so he was sitting on Haru's waist. The kitty was near tears as he looked down at him.

"Haru... don't..." he begged.

"Don't what?" He raised his eyebrows up, moving his good arm so that his hand rested on the small of Kyo's back.

"Don't be angry... please..." The cat wiped at his eyes but to no avail. "Don't leave me again! E-everything is okay now... Akito is gone and-and you're back!" He choked a little. "Y-you're finally back and I need you! I love you and... I-i thought you were gone forever... but-but you're here again." He was rambling on now, but he'd gotten his message across for the most part.

"I never did leave." Haru pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "You've always been the one to go. I was still there, just sleeping."

"But I couldn't find you!" The feline sobbed. "I was stuck with that stupid dog! That-that PUPPY that was fucking in love with Akito! For two fucking years!" He bent forward and buried his face desperately into Haru's chest.

"Ah, yeah, he's gone now." Haru assured him, reaching up to pet his head awkwardly. "I promise. And so is the one that locked you in the closet, too. So, now you're back to just having two of me to deal with."

"Don't go away again, Haru... please..." Kyo cried desperately. "Don't leave me again..."

"I'll try." He nodded in agreement, finally moving his hand to brush Kyo's bangs out of his face. "But, you can't leave anymore either."

"Right," The older hiccupped a little. "We'll stay together, okay...?" He stopped sitting on the ox in favor of curling up next to him. Haru rolled back onto his side, and buried his face into Kyo's shoulder. Maybe Hatori would be satisfied and let him go home NOW.

The dragon hadn't been eavesdropping, but when he came in later and saw them as thus he really felt he had no choice but to let them leave. He was quite certain he'd see Kyo cry again if he didn't and he'd seen it more times than he really cared to already.

"You two... try to avoid anymore episodes." He suggested softly.

"No more suicide attempts." Haru agreed with an absent shrug, already starting to tentatively climb out of bed, carefully testing if his legs would support his weight. After all, he'd been awake for a few days, and he wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep before that. Kyo just glanced at the dragon with a rather strange, nervous and hollow look before looking back to Haru. He went over to him quickly and took his currently uninjured hand with the same amount of nervousness that had been in his look. "So, I'm just assuming you found somewhere to live, while you were gone." Haru informed Kyo, squeezing his hand, as they headed out. "Do you want to go back there, or to my place?"

"I really want to leave the compound." The cat told him. "And I really don't want to come back again."

"Fine. We'll go to your place, and I'll come back and get my crap later."

So, Kyo led Haru back towards his apartment. He was only feeling a little tiny bit of the alcohol he'd had earlier in the day. When they arrived, Kyo's roommate glanced up from the couch. He looked over the top of his glasses at them, then shrugged and went back to watching TV. The red head murmured a 'hello' to him before pulling Haru back to his room.

"Is this okay?" he asked worriedly. If Haru didn't like the place Kyo would leave it.

"It's fine." He nodded, with a shrug. "Whatever's fine. I don't care."

Kyo hugged him with relief. "Sho works and goes to college most nights." The cat told him in reference to the roommate. "But he's agreeable too."

"Great." He snorted slightly. "That's great. Whatever. He can watch. I'm just happy to have you back." The smaller smiled and then they got themselves comfortably setup in a far more cuddly position.

"Haru?" The red head wondered softly. "Even... if something else bad happens... I just... don't forget that I really do love you, okay?" He felt like a five year old, but there had been so much drama already, he just had to make sure the other knew.

"I'll remember." Haru promised, leaning over and placing a kiss on his forehead. "And I love you too, you hear me?"