Title: Cohesion

Author: Kellifer

Email: (same for MSN addy)

Category: Angst

Rating: Chapter 1 / 1 (PG - naughty word)

Summary: Flashes of a life together Jan/Dan. Companion piece to 'Simplicity'

Warnings - Vague spoilers through S7.

Disclaimer: DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created or entertainment No monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

-Cohesion-

Grant me the Serenity

It was so rare that he looked peaceful that Janet was loathe to wake him. He was sitting out on her sun deck, legs propped up on the wooden railing he'd only helped to fix the week before. There was a mug of now cold coffee perched on the chair arm. She leant over and could see the cup was almost full.

Daniel must have been really tired to have let it go to waste.

He had a book lying flat on his chest and his glasses were sitting at an akward angle on his face. She reached forward and gently eased them free, knowing that if he was woken by someone, he usually knocked them off with a flailing hand.

Janet knew from the way Daniel's cheeks had hollowed out, he was skipping meals again. They tended to go through this about every six months or so. Daniel would start having a particularly bad bout of nightmares, then he would skip meals, drink too much coffee and work himself to exhaustion. More often than not he ended up in the infirmary, firmly escorted by Jack.

The pager in her hand started to vibrate again and Janet looked down at it in annoyance. It was the second time it had gone off and Janet knew that there would be a phone call pretty soon. First they would try Daniel's home, then his cell, then her house. She had to smile at that.

As if on cue, her phone began to bleat plaintively. Janet rushed inside, not wanting the sound to wake Daniel and ready to way lay whoever was trying to. She snatched the receiver up to her ear. "Hello?" She snapped.

"Boy, do I wish I'd made Carter call you." A gruff voice chuckled.

"Sorry, Sir. I thought you were supposed to have downtime. You only came back from a six day mission." She was trying to communicate that she didn't approve of any of them having to be on base, let alone Daniel.

"Our enemies never sleep, it seems." Jack sighed. She could just picture him, sitting at his desk, scrubbing a hand through his hair. He looked tired in her mind and she knew he would look tired in reality too.

"Do you really need him?" Janet already knew the answer.

"Yes, Janet. We do." There was an apology in his voice.

To Accept the things

"We only took our eyes off him for a second." Jack was holding a flailing Daniel down on the infirmary bed.

"A second is all it takes with Daniel." Sam sighed, attempting to unlace his boots and avoid being kicked in the head at the same time.

Janet levelled a steely gaze at them all. "I thought you would have learned your lesson after the cake incident." She snapped.

"I believe the village women wished to make DanielJackson... more malleable." Teal'c supplied, oblivious to Jack's urgent gestures for him to not mention the specific details of their little disaster.

"What!" Janet folded her arms across her chest, her look now sharp enough to cut skin.

Jack grinned disarmingly, or it would have been disarming if he wasn't dealing with five foot two of wrathful medical doctor. "They didn't mean any harm and they didn't expect him to get so..."

"Shitfaced." Sam grinned when both Jack and Janet blinked at her.

"I'm perf'tly fine." Daniel grumbled. He managed to escape Jack's grasp for long enough to lunge off the infirmary bed. With Sam still holding his feet, it was more an ungainly fall than the sober rise he'd been attempting. Jack caught his shoulders and shoved him back up onto the bed.

"You're so grounded." He grinned.

I cannot change

It wasn't important that she hadn't slept for three days.

It wasn't important that Jack had defended his name.

It wasn't important that Sam was allowing herself to fall apart, just a little.

All that was important was that he was gone.

Jack had let him go and she was angry. More angry than she would have thought possible. Janet had been avoiding Jack since it had happened because deep down, she knew she couldn't blame him for what happened, but she desperately wanted to.

He was a glutton for punishment though and sought her out.

"I don't want to talk about it." She said, hoping her tone conveyed just how much she wanted to be alone. Jack didn't seem to be buying it though. It had always amazed Janet that Jack couldn't seem to handle his own emotions, but was a deft hand at other people.

He surprised her though. "I don't either." He said simply. He was sitting in her office, swinging back and forth on the threadbare swivel chair she had been meaning to get rid of.

"Okay." Janet said.

The courage to change the things I can

He'd been sitting alone in his office when she'd entered. Daniel was used to people dropping in on him. He'd accepted easily that others thought his company was soothing.

The only sound in the room was a page turning.

Finally, he looked up; removing his glasses to rub the indent they'd left on the bridge of his nose. "Hey, everything okay?" He swiveled on his stool so that his body was pointed at her. Janet stepped into the space between his legs and Daniel blinked at her. "Hel-lo." He grinned.

"Colonel O'Neill and Sam tap dance around each other because they have to, right?" Janet said, her hand resting lightly on one of his biceps. Daniel's eyebrows shot higher.

"Yes."

"Because of the regulations."

"Yes. I'm not sure if we should be talking about this."

"They're both frustrated and miserable."

Daniel's lip quirked. "I really don't think we should be talking about this."

"I've moved your primary care to Doctor Anderson."

"Janet, what-" Daniel didn't get to finish his sentence because Janet had wound fingers through his hair and leaned forward to kiss him firmly on the mouth. She broke the kiss and stepped away.

"Screw that." She said with a grin.

And the Wisdom

"What are you doing there?" There was pleasure as well as confusion in Daniel's voice, filtered through thousands of light years and a Stargate.

"Hammond's an old softie." Janet grinned, fighting the sappy urge to touch the monitor. Daniel had on wet weather gear and she could see rain was sheeting down behind him. She saw a figure wander passed behind Daniel and cuff him on the back of the head. "Say hi to Jack for me." Janet laughed as Daniel turned to give him a dirty look. "Now, report. This has to be at least somewhat official."

"Negotiations are going well, but are long. My grasp of the language isn't great so it's pretty much diplomacy through charades at the moment. There is another delegation arriving tomorrow and with all the ceremony scheduled to welcome them, I'm expecting this to take another fortnight at least."

"That long?" SG-1 had already been offworld a month without a break. Apparently, the people of Kraen would see it as an insult if the representatives of the Tau'ri went home mid-negotiation.

"Unfortunately, yes. I'd also like to officially report that Jack is driving me crazy."

"I heard that." A voice off to the right grumped.

Sam's blonde head appeared in the monitor. She and Daniel wrestled for a moment before fell away to the side with a yelp. Janet felt a sharp longing.

"Hey Janet. Nice of you to call." Sam was grinning.

"I miss you guys. Come home soon."

To know the difference.

She'd never forgiven herself for leaving him, disheveled and with his shirt open. He'd looked blank and yet chillingly destroyed.

Even now, years later, it bothered her.

She was wrapped in his bed, surrounded by his smell. There was the faint sound of the shower in the next room and a kind of off-key, nasal singing that made her smile. She couldn't figure out the song because there was no recognisable tune and she was pretty sure he was making up words as he went along. The water shut off and after a few minutes he emerged, a towel slung low on his hips and his hair mussed and wet.

Janet hid her grin in a blanket. This is why the nurses are all jealous of me, she thought happily. The warm, fuzzy feeling wasn't quite enough to squash the maudlin track her mind had been trying to take. Her grin faded and she let her eyes slide closed, hoping he hadn't noticed she was awake.

There was a gentle thump on the bed as he sat at the end of it, using a small towel to rub his head dry. She let her eyes slit open again and watched the play of muscles across his back. There was a deep, twisting scar that ran across his spine and up to his left shoulder blade. Janet threw the blankets back and reached forward, her fingers trailing across the scar. Daniel stilled and looked over his shoulder at her. "I should still be treating you. This is shoddy work." She grumbled, her fingers walking the length of the raised skin.

Daniel swiveled so he could look at her. "There is not one scar on my body that you're responsible for. You keep beating yourself up about them. That was done by Sam to stop me bleeding to death and by the time we got back to the infirmary it was a little late to make it pretty." Daniel had captured the hand that was left hovering when he'd turned his back away from her.

Janet winced. "Maybe-"

"I'm happy. For the first time in a long time. That's better than a neat scar any damn day. Plus, I think it makes me look tough." Daniel was grinning and Janet couldn't help but smile back. "All I need now is an eyebrow one like Jack's." He said, fingering his smooth brow thoughtfully.

"You've had enough head injuries." Janet snapped.

"That's what Jack says."

"We have the documentary crew today don't we?" Janet drew her legs up to her chest as Daniel resumed toweling his head.

"Yeah, freaky huh? I can't believe we're doing that."

"I know. I think it's nice though. There are so many people we've lost and their families had no idea what they did. It would be nice if there were something immortalised."

"Well that's morbid." Daniel's lips quirked in a grin.

Janet stretched a foot out from underneath the blanket and snagged Daniel's towel with her toes. "I'm happy too." She said, twitched her foot so that the towel fell partway open, exposing a length of thigh.

No scars.

Daniel's pager started to bleep and they both looked at each other and groaned.

"We'll finish this later." He sighed.