O highly acclaimed revievers the answer to all of you comments. caugh

Schizophrenic squirrel: I am not Eoin Colfer - though I wish I had his talents sigh. I also hope I am not touched by writers block, it is such an inconveniance. Ahh yes... the letter. Well seeing as I'm using the base trick of suspense to keep all you lovely people reading my story I doubt you will actually find out about the letter for a while :P. Then again I could change my mind. It all depends.

Silverfingers: Thanks! "the floor is lava"? enlighten me.

Anyway… long enough I think.

Fowl Manor, Ireland, Present Day

Artemis Fowl stitched off the connection and leaned back in his chair, stretching a little. It would no doubt have been sensible for the 15-year-old to get some sleep, but that sort of depravation had never stopped him before. He reached out an abnormally pale hand to the mouse and quickly forwarded the ransom offer to Holly; this time without the decay virus.

That had taken some doing, incapacitating the virus, but since the ransom demand for Artemis Fowl Senior had been lost, his son had spent considerable quantities of time selectively re-programming his e-mail inbox. It now automatically disabled any problematic bugs keeping copies of them as a referance for future use. Since every "new" computer virus, was simply a variation on a previous, each one was linked, all Artemis had to do was to tell his computer this, and the machine learned. It saved him the job of constantly updating the software. Someday he could patent this, it would be worth a fortune; but did he really want the Swiss International Bank to be able to block the viruses he was sending? That was a question to ponder on a rainy day. Artemis almost chuckled - it sounded so ordinary.

The new programming had been difficult - attempting the seemingly impossible usually was - but the worth of the venture was now becoming evident, just as he had claimed to a somewhat dubious Juliet when she had last visited. The genius may not have been able to trace any message he was sent, but he could keep them, and re-read them and forward them to whoever he chose.

For example, he could forward the emails to a certain paranoid techy quite capable of using his advanced technology to track any message sent on Earth, or in it. Foally wouldn't stay out of this incident. It would require the commitment of all workers in Short and Diggums, even the unofficial ones. Artemis was sure of that.

He smiled to himself, to a causal observer it would seem more like a grimace, it was good to be able to work with the People again, life with them always seemed far more interesting.

But why was he being framed for a kidnap he had had nothing to do with? Artemis hadchanged from the cold-blooded schemer he had been three years previously. Holly had changed him. She had healed his mother, saved his father, forgiven him (he hoped) for her abduction and become his first true friend, always excepting Butler. He wouldn't even consider siuch a heartless act as that now. And yet he was being framed for one.

Artemis thought through all the people he could have offended during his association with the people, it was a long list, but they were all either dead, in prison or too stupid to think of such a plan. His communications were being monitered. If the LEP thought he was hiding another hostage, they wouldn't wait this time; it would be a quick and clean blue rinse, not even pausing to stop time. Artemis shuddered, twice was three times too often to come into contact with those things. The plan was almost flawless. Almost.

Without Holly and Foaly's help, not to mention the dwarf and the stash of LEP technology that had been building up in various locations around Tara, it would have been a flawless plan. As it was, he could still see several ways out. Artemis had given up on life once before; on the roof of an artificial temple surrounded by a pack of aroused and famished trolls, who could blame him. That had been embarrassing enough, there was not a chance he would ever repeat the experience.

A short reply buzzed up on the computer screen.

Fowl

Artemis wished she would stop calling her that, he did have a name and they had been friends for over a year now. No one had bothered to explain to the teenager, that it was because they were such good friends that Holly persisted in her familiar mode of address despite his protests. He had to work some things out for himself after all.

Thanks, will take that to Foaly pronto. This is BAD. But you knew that. I'll ring (Your com no.?) when back. I have a headache case too. Get some sleep now!

Holly

Artemis sighed, what was worth the ten seconds needed to turn a hurried message into comprehensible English.

Another heavy case. That wasn't good. Holly already looked exhausted; still highly attractive, but in desperate need of several weeks of solid sleep. Since leaving the LEP she had had a chance to let her hair grow slightly, and it now fell to her chin framing her face and accenting her hooked nose and hazel eyes. She had actually kept to the training program they had agreed on at the New Year – Winter Equinox – and it showed. Her body was as lithe and strong as ever. She was just so tired, and she was still torn by Root's death and her resignation from the LEP. She just needed a good month off, but criminals don't organise their time around you as Julius root had been so fond of pointing out.

He on the other hand had not become fit. The recurrent brushes with painful death had definitely made an impact on the boy, but even Butler's supervision could not create muscle from nothing. Artemis knew that. On the other hand, nothing so far had even got the better of him, and he wasn't going to let his own body be the first.

However hypocritical it was, Holly was right. Artemis mailed a quick assent to the message and slipped into bed.

Shopping District, Haven, Lower Elements

Holly was late again. The centaur was expecting it and took advantage of the time to complete his notes for Sool. 100 page booklet to fill out on security. Sool was taking his new role a little too far, but that was just Foaly's opinion. Unlike Root, Sool did not threated budget cuts, he simply enforced them. And for the most illogical reasons too.

Page 68. 1. How would you describe the current security measures in your area of the LEP?

Foaly was beginning to appriciate why Holly had quit. Working under Sool was like a constant choice between being burned and buried alive. The genius equine wasn't particularly enamoured with either option.

How would he answer this? The truth?

Since I have personally invented all the security measures in the area I work in (Op.s Booth, in case the information wouldn't fit into the lump of tissue between your ears. ) I would obviously say that they it was the most secure building in the LEP. However, this would be seen, by some ignorant busibodies, as personal arogance so I shall back up my claims with a simple test. YOU try to get in! Trouble can't, Vinyaya can't, Root couldn't, even Holly failed. If you can I will eat my hat.

Foaly whinnied in delight. Sool's face when he saw that would be an absolute picture. Of course, being put on probation was not a particularly desirous consequence, but the centaur missed being yelled at by livid commanders (not that Sool would ever measure up to Root - who could?) and he had played "submissive Donkey boy" for far too long since his last wittitism - an entire 2.35 pages of forms.

Page 68. 2. What would you suggest to improve security in the LEP?

Foaly began to laugh again and then stopped realising that everyone in the cafe was staring at him. Well it wasn't his fault everyone recognised him from the "World of the Future" program (Advertising Channel 78683) was it? He wished they wouldn't insist on staring at him, celebrity status became a little wearing after a time.

He looked down again and continued phrasing his answer.

As I see it, security is not the major issue that needs to be adressed at the LEP. It is one of ...

"Hello Foaly, sorry I'm late, got caught up."

"Holly," Foaly smiled, she had obviously run all the way there, "S'not a problem, I had this to do anyway. Don't laugh, Sool is a very conscientious commander of the LEP. Nettle Smoothie?."

"Very conscientious," commented Holly reading through Foaly's answers, "Just don't get fired, I need your help on something. Take a look at this when you get the chance." She handed over a small disk, he took it with a questioning glance.

Foally looked at the expression on her face, quickly decided he liked his nose in it's current shape and altered the comment he had been about to make.

"Don't worry sweetie, they all know I'm irreplacable. I suppose I could spare a few minutes in my busy, underapriciated life to look over your work for you ..." placing the disk ceremoniously in his bag along with the form " and now shall pass on my delighful message."