Honki Dashite

Ryo x Juudai Only Love Novel

It wasn't that he was particularly cold. Or rather, it was really doubtful if 'acting cold' was even in Yuki Juudai's vocabulary. Juudai never acted in such a roundabout way; if he liked something he liked it and if he hated it, he'd cheerfully (and rather tactlessly) say that he hated it. So Marufuji Ryo was not able to say that Juudai was giving him the cold shoulder, but he couldn't shake off the feeling that Juudai was 'avoiding' him.

"Juudai? Avoiding you?" Asuka asked, her already large golden eyes getting slightly bigger in her surprise. At this point Ryo felt that the only one who could help him was Tenjyoin Kaiba Asuka, his best friend's younger sister and also a good friend of his. Despite the fact that Juudai was not exactly a girl, the matter seemed too delicate to consult with the male Tenjyoin.

"No way—Juudai is not the type to do that, is he? If he was mad at you about something, he'd just tell you."

Ryo slightly frowned. Nervously outlining the rim of his cup which was half-full of black coffee, he carefully replied, "I'd agree with you, but I can't be positive. I think I must entertain the idea of him being upset at something that I did, since… well…"

He slightly hesitated, then continued, "Juudai had never been mad at me before."

Crash—

Asuka dropped the teaspoon. It crashed against the table loudly, but her eyes did not leave Ryo's face.

"What do you mean by that? It's been months since you two started to go out, right! And Juudai was not upset with you even once?"

Ryo shook his head. "…Isn't that normal?"

"It's definitely abnormal! You guys never had an argument? Never disagreed?"

Ryo looked slightly surprised and uncomfortable at Asuka's incredulous expression. He had been pushing this problem to the corner of his mind, but now that the subject was brought up he had to admit that he was worried. Ryo himself was an agreeable person by nature and rarely objected to Juudai's proposals, and Juudai cheerfully accepted all of Ryo's suggestions as well. This was not what concerned Ryo; he found it very pleasant that the two could get along so well.

The problem was when Juudai really ought to be—even slight—upset, yet he was indifferent. Even when Ryo was busy and the two couldn't meet for days, when Ryo finally met him again and apologized, Juudai easily disregarded his apology as if being separated had not concerned him in the least. Even when Ryo was forced to break his promise with Juudai because of various incidents occurring around the school and as the student-body president he was forced to take care of all the problems, Juudai cheerfully smiled and said that it was okay. Recently, when Ryo had turned into a doll as the consequence of a Duel of Darkness, Juudai was glad when Ryo's soul was returned to his body, but that was all. There was no anger for him acting recklessly, no tears of worry and frustration, and no show of affection when he saw that Ryo returned safely. Juudai had accepted his return as easily as if he had always been by his side.

It might seem spoiled for him to think this way, but at times Ryo really thought that perhaps Juudai didn't care much about him at all.

After a short silence Asuka picked her spoon up and added a spoonful of sugar to her tea. Thoughtfully stirring the lukewarm mixture she slowly said, "I guess there is nothing but to ask the person in question. Since it's Juudai, I'm sure he'll give you a truthful answer. Why don't you go ask him directly?"

"I guess… that's the only solution," Ryo acquiesced. But his expression had stiffened.

He'll give you a truthful answer.

'That's what I'm most afraid of,' Ryo thought, taking a sip of his coffee. It had turned cold and left bitter aftertaste in his mouth.

---

"Juudai, can I talk to you?"

Ryo thought that he saw Juudai's shoulders stiffen when he heard his voice, but he hoped that he had only imagined it. Juudai turned towards him and gave him a smile, but his eyes didn't quite meet Ryo's eyes. His deep, honey-brown eyes seemed to search the corner of Ryo's face, and his small, well-shaped lips were twitching at the corner, giving a small indication of his nervousness.

"Kaizer…"

"I told you to call me by my given name when we are alone," Ryo gently reprimanded. Juudai nervously laughed. The laughter sounded forced.

"R, right…"

It was a good thing that Shou had told him about Juudai's 'special place'. As Shou predicted Ryo was able to find his lover in the shades of an enormous tree, staring up at the sky with his back lightly resting against the trunk of the ancient oak tree. Juudai stood up and dusted his pants off.

"Juudai—"

"R, Ryo-san!" Juudai interrupted, holding out his hands and waving them haphazardly. "It's almost time for lunch and they're giving away fried shrimp today! They only give that once a month, you know, so I can't miss today's lunch no matter what! Let's talk later, okay!"
"I'll get you as much fried shrimp as you want," Ryo said, sighing. He didn't understand the purpose behind the large differences between Obelisk Blue dormitory's meals and Osiris Red dormitory's meals, but this would not be the first time he would bring some of his more varied side dishes to his lover or his younger brother. But Juudai firmly shook his head.

"You might get into trouble, so it's okay, really. See you!"

Ryo helplessly stared at Juudai's retreating back. He slowly let the hand he raised to stop Juudai fall to his side, then lowered his eyes. His mouth slowly uttered 'Juudai..' before it stubbornly closed.

---

By the end of the week, Ryo's patience was at its limits. Whenever he tried to talk to Juudai, Juudai would make up the strangest excuses to avoid him. Fubuki and Asuka didn't dare talk to him as the dark aura of anger grew larger and larger around normally mild-tempered Ryo. Saturday morning, Ryo set out for the Osiris Red dormitory. As luck would have it, his pray… is not it, his object of search was just leaving his room.

"Shou, Hayato, hurry up!" Juudai cheerfully called out to his roommates, waving his arms. "If you don't hurry I'll…uwaaaa!"

"I'm borrowing him," Ryo informed Shou and Hayato before dragging Juudai away. He ignored Shou and Hayato's stammered protests and firmly grabbed Juudai's wrist as Juudai tried to squirm away. When they arrived to the cliff over-looking the ocean that surrounded their school—Juudai's secret place—he let Juudai's hand go. The two silently looked at each other, then Juudai nervously laughed and started to leave.

"This can wait, right? Today I promised Shou and Hayato that—"

"No, this can't wait!" Ryo said, frowning. He clutched Juudai's shoulders and searched his face. "Yuki Juudai, you have to tell me why you're avoiding me. Did I make you angry? What did I do wrong?"

"I'm not avoiding you," Juudai quietly said. But the way his eyes were averted told Ryo that he was lying. Juudai never was a very good liar.

"Juudai… If you don't tell me anything, I won't know," Ryo pleaded. "This isn't like you at all. If there's something that I did, please tell me. You can even hit me if you're angry about something. You're really making me worried!"

"…me."

"What?"

Juudai had turned his head away. His words were spoken so softly that Ryo had trouble understanding him.

"If…. I tell you… you'll hate me…"

"Of course not. What is it? Why aren't you talking to me?" Ryo asked. He was still worried, but he was much more relieved. At least Juudai was talking to him again.

"Back when… you were… doing the Duel of Darkness…"

Ryo nodded, encouraging Juudai to continue. The shoulders under his hands were lightly trembling, and Ryo wanted to hug him, but fearing that it'd interrupt Juudai he quietly waited for Juudai to continue.

"Back then I was really angry… because you just turned into a doll for Shou's sake… I know it's selfish of me to say that when it was your brother's life that was at stake, but… You didn't even think about me…"

"Juudai…"

"I know you'll hate me if you realize that I'm such a selfish person, but I didn't like that at all! Why did you have to shoulder everything! Why didn't you think about how I would feel if your soul was trapped inside darkness forever!" Juudai suddenly said, his voice growing more sharp and loud. He fiercely turned his head towards Ryo. "It's not fair! I think about Ryo so much and I try not to bother him, but Ryo just does whatever he wants! Do you like me at all!"

"Juudai."

"I hate this!" Juudai said, avoiding his eyes again. He looked like he'd cry. Because this was his first time seeing such an expression on Juudai, Ryo immediately thought that he looked really cute, but he quickly scolded himself for thinking about such things. Now was not a good time.

"…Thank you, Juudai."

Startled, Juudai's eyes met Ryo's eyes again. Ryo was smiling.

"I was actually a bit afraid because you weren't angry about my selfishness. You didn't seem jealous or even caring about my actions at all, so… truthfully, I was a bit scared. That Juudai doesn't like me as nearly as much as I like him… I was anxious."

"Really? You're not mad?" Juudai softly asked. Ryo shook his head, then pulled Juudai into his arms. The smaller boy was comfortably tucked in his arms, and Ryo affectionately rubbed his cheek against the soft strands of the chestnut-colored hair.

"Actually I'm really happy. Please always be truthful to me, Juudai. If you don't like something, please say it. It's okay to be selfish in front of me. I want to see only truthful side of Juudai."

"But you might hate me if I'm not considerate of your feelings," Juudai mumbled from his chest. He snuggled deeper in his arms. "…You sure it's okay for me to be selfish? To complain and cry in your arms and make you troubled whenever I have a problem?"

"That'll make me very happy. Because…"

He gently pulled away from Juudai to see his face. Juudai was blushing so much that even his ears had turned red, and Ryo couldn't help planting a baby kiss on his forehead.

"I'm the only one who can see Juudai's truthful self, right? That's a big happiness for me."

---

"Kaizer!"

Shou and Asuka-tachi looked up, startled, as Juudai ran across the grounds to Ryo. Ryo looked up from the papers he was holding, then smiled when he noticed Juudai.

"Yuki Juudai—"

Expecting a hug from Juudai as usual, Ryo held out his hands, but Juudai lowered his body and neatly punched his stomach instead, causing Ryo to gasp and kneel over. Papers escaped his hands and fell around him in a flurry of white.

"What kind of relationship do you have with Fubuki-san? You better tell me everything as it is because if I find out about it later on I'll be even more pissed off!"

"Wha, what do you mean by that? Fubuki and I are only childhood fri—"

Another uppercut greeted this answer. Resting his hands against his hip, Juudai shouted, "Don't lie to me! What kind of friends hold and look at each other like that! Fubuki-san used to be your boyfriend, right! I'll forgive and forget all if you confess, so say it now!"

"Juudai… We're really just friends…"

"Liar! Cheater! No sex for a month!"

A small crowd had gathered to watch the two, whispering things to each other. At the mention of the taboo 's' word, the students froze. Most of the students had trouble processing this information in their brain, but the more tainted(?) of their colleagues were more shocked at the kaizer's choice of lover.

"…Niisan changed a lot while we were apart…" Shou said, somewhat dismayed. "Or rather, I didn't know Aniki was that kind of person…"

"Love does that to someone," Asuka cheerfully said, smiling.

"Does Fubuki-sama really have that kind of relationship with the Kaizer, Asuka-sama?" Junko asked. Asuka shook her head and Junko and Momoe couldn't quite hide their disappointed expression.

"Awawawa… Aniki's going to kill Niisan at that rate!" Shou nervously said. "Shouldn't we try to stop them?"

"Oh, but I think Ryo looks really happy," Asuka replied. "…After all, this was what he wanted."

"Niisan wanted Aniki to beat him up!" Shou asked, paling. While he was wondering when his brother had turned into a masochist, Asuka watched the two. Ryo had finally managed to calm Juudai down and had an arm around his shoulder, explaining something to him. Juudai was still pouting, but Ryo did look really happy. Others would not be able to read it from his expressionless face, but his eyes were full of happiness. Asuka smiled in return and left, Momoe and Junko in tow.

After all, Juudai was able be more truthful in front of the one he loves the most.

---

-The End-

Ahhh... Minor road... TvT As for the reference with Fubuki, if you've watched episode 41 you'd know what I mean. Do best friends hug each other like that, Ryo and Fubuki? That's too suspicious! (laughs)

I wrote this story with sugary love-love Ryo x Juudai story in mind, but... the end result... wasn't that sweet at all.. Wahahahaha. TvT