|5 Nights of Promises
Author: Isabelle PM
If he promises her tomorrow, he'll also have to promise her forever and forever is not his to give. Harry & Ginny fiction set POST HBP. A series of short stories of 5 nights in Harry's 7th year. Warning: I love writing agnst.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Ginny W. & Harry P. - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,684 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 07-24-05 - Published: 07-17-05 - Status: Complete - id: 2488769
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The Spanish Phonograph
Summary: Harry wakes up after the events of the previous part happen.
Rating: PG-13 for adult themes
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR - she's the master here.
The soft sound of the phonograph brought him back to the world of the living. The words were in Spanish but the sound of them was a melancholic sound of lost loves.
As the man in the phonograph mourned his lost love Harry wondered if he'd lost his mind.
"I have no idea what he is saying but it sounds dreadfully sad, no?"
A voice filtered his mind. There she was, sitting on his bed, looking out the window.
"Dad got it out of an old Muggle couple's house... they were killed by Death Eaters... Hermione showed us how it worked... I'm a bit addicted to it."
Her voice was soft, angelical and sad all at the same time.
"I would've never forgiven you, Harry... if you would've never woken up."
She turned to him and he was a bit shocked to see her face. She looked as if she'd lacked sleep in months; her glow was gone, replaced by a dreariness.
He tried to speak but his voice was so hoarse he could hardly breathe.
"Three months and seven days..." She reached out for his hand. Hers felt dry and cold in his. "You were in a Wizard Trance..." Harry looked confused. "Hermione says Muggles call it a 'coma' - or something like that..." She sighed and smiled, still sitting and trying not to face him. "Magical exhaustion."
"Wh-where am I?" Harry whispered hoarsely.
"Home... at the burrow."
Harry looked around, trying to sit up.
"I'd forgotten what color the walls were..." she was quiet and sullen still.
"Ginny... what's wrong?" He was sitting down, his body feeling refreshed - as if he got a good eight hours of sleep.
She stood, her back still to him. "It's been a bigger hell than anything watching you there - peacefully sleeping."
But the words died in his mouth when she turned to him, his eyes bulged and his mouth hung open. He felt as if a loud whistle were blowing through his brain. He felt dizzy, fuzzy and anything that can be attributed to sudden shock.
"Pregnant." She gave him a sad smile. "Yes, Harry."
"How..." her mind was still reeling, he was sure he would faint.
"I'm five months pregnant... I was carrying the child when... you know..." She looked away, holding her stomach with a protective stand.
His heart kept drumming in his ears. "The baby... when I..." Guilt-more strong and more powerful-tore through him.
"The baby is fine, Harry... the potion Moody gave me made a protective circle around it..." she looked away.
"You knew?" Fury flooded within him.
"... I had a feeling." She admitted.
Harry stood, still a bit shaky, but the shaking was more out of rage with her - he'd never felt so angry with her.
"You had a feeling?" His tone was even, there was an increasingly large lump forming in his throat.
"... nothing happened, Harry. The baby is fine - nothing's wrong with it." she assured him, but he could read off her that her guilt was killing her.
"What if something would've happened to me, to YOU!" He was shouting now. She winced at his words. "You have NO idea what it's like to grow up wondering what your parents were like because all you know of them is other people's accounts!"
Ginny turned from him, huddling herself in the shadows.
"HOW COULD YOU?" he bellowed. Harry looked at her as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing from her. "I STABBED YOU! IT WAS YOUR IDEA!"
"I KNOW!" She turned towards him. Her face was wet with tears and her eyes were hallow. "Don't you think I know what I did! What could've happened?"
She was looking around, lost and shattered. "I've sat next to you for the past few months just bathed in guilt - I've done my share of screaming - all at myself! I've sat down through everyone else's speech - from Lupin to Mother to Hermione to EVERYONE!"
She was sobbing now, her slim shoulder shaking.
"But I couldn't... I didn't want my child - our child - to come to this world with that monster still around." Her voice was hallow. It shook Harry to the core. She looked so lost, so misplaced, as if the happy-lively Ginny he had fallen in love with had been replaced by a bad copy. "Imagine what it's life would've been like... I know I deceived you, that I deceived everyone but Moody... I know I risked it all and we almost killed it... I know!"
Harry stood staring at her, transfixed. His heart was aching to hold her, to hold her so close - he also wanted to be happy... but too much had been lost to be happy about this... too much pain.
"I understand if you don't want to see me again... and if you think I'm not fit to be a mother, truly I understand... " She was shaking so hard that Harry was afraid she might decompose right then and there. "I will go... once it's born and I don't have to see you again."
Her words were drumming in Harry's ears, and he stepped towards her, not sure of what to do. He wanted to hold her, to assure her, but he also wanted to shake her into sense.
"Everyone is thinking the same thing you are, Harry... they all wonder if I've lost my mind... maybe I have... maybe having Voldemort's soul in me for so long completely destroyed me... I don't know... I just don't know any longer..." Shadows were embracing her as she sunk to the floor.
He stood and watched her sob for a bit. She sobbed as if her heart was irreparably broken and there would be no hope for it. He couldn't take it anymore, he squatted down in front of her, taking her hands in his. Her once-bright eyes turned and looked at him.
"I don't hate you, Ginny... yes, I'm upset... I'm very upset... but I could never hate you." He brought her hand to his lips. "I would die if you leave me. Life is nothing to me without you... I've never known happiness like what you've shown me... and I am sure I will never taste happiness unless I have you beside me."
Her face started to morph into what looked like hope; it was so sad and heartbreaking that he couldn't help but pull her against him and assure her.
When her face was buried in his neck he heard her sob out in relief, clutching to him like there was no tomorrow. Gone was the warrior woman that she'd transformed herself into before fighting Voldemort - now was a vulnerable girl who needed him as much as he usually needed her.
It was his turn to forgive, accept and live on.
He could live with it - Voldemort had tried to hurt them even after his demise - but he wasn't going to let him win, not this time, not ever. Harry would find his happiness, he would see his child born, and he would make sure Ginny wore her grandmother's earrings on the day of their wedding.
So help him he would.
The True End
A/N: A bit sad, I know - and I know you guys might dislike Ginny, but I believe this story was about forgiveness. Ginny had to forgive Harry for leaving her behind, and obviously Harry has quite a bit of forgiving to do. I will not write a sequel to this; this is were it ends, sorry! I'm glad so many of you liked it.
Also, I know this story is a bit AU, considering JKR's recent interview about Ginny as a horcrux - but I still had the idea and I wanted to run with it; it's what Fan fiction is all about.