No Different
by Birgit Stäbler
„How do you do it?"
Alex Christopher looked up from where she was sitting on the blue sofa, legs curled under her, reading a magazine.
"Do what?" she asked.
Bonnie Barstow sighed and made a vague gesture that included everything around them. "Everything. How can you live like this? Be so calm in the middle of a crisis?"
Alex lowered the magazine and gave her a curious look. "I could ask you the same question, Bonnie. How can you do it each time?"
Bonnie grimaced. "It's not the same. I'm a bundle of nerves each time, but Michael is… he's also different."
"He gets shot up just the same."
"Not like Nick."
"I don't think they use different bullets or aim for different body parts."
"Alex!"
Alex smiled. "Okay, okay. You mean because of who Nick is? What he does for fun, or his definition of the word anyway?"
Bonnie shrugged. "Kinda. I've seen him often enough. He always brings home injuries of some kind; not all of the visible or physical. Michael… yes, he gets injured as well, but he's not so ….blind concerning his own vulnerability."
She shook her head. "Nick doesn't believe he is invincible, Bonnie. He works differently, has different methods, other ideas, but he isn't any different from Michael at all."
Bonnie gave her a wry smile. "Right! Ask me for a description of Nick and the words cold, emotionless and dangerous would pop up in ten different variations."
Alex laughed. "Okay, so he isn't the same man as Michael, but their work doesn't differ, only their background."
"So how can you cope with that?" she asked. "I never understood Nick, I wouldn't even go near him alone for the first few months he worked with Michael, and he still gives me the creeps." Bonnie shot Alex an apologetic look.
"I know people have difficulties dealing with Nick." She gave Bonnie a reassuring smile. "Even I had them, though for different reasons. Do you know how we met?"
"Vaguely. I know it was before he and Michael ran into each other once more. He was on a case, he was injured and you found him."
"That's the very rough version. He was poisoned, happened to run into a landslide near where I work, and survived. I picked him up by accident because I was checking for damage after the worst of the storm had been over, and brought him to the station. Karr popped up not much later."
"Love at first sight?"
Alex chuckled. "No. You could call it mutually agreed upon dislike, for a better word. Later it turned into tolerance. Neither of us was happy with the arrangements. If he hadn't been too weak to even get out of bed, he would have left immediately. So he had to endure my ministrations and wait till the weather and the road permitted him to leave. When he finally left, I didn't think I'd see him again. He came back after the case, but then he disappeared once more. Don't ask me if I already loved him back then. I don't know. I never expected to see him again, but I did. Sometimes. For a day, for a few days, for a week, sometimes just a few hours. Our first date was me acting as a cover for him at a Chinese restaurant. Food was good, company was very distracted." Bonnie smiled. "Somehow we started some kind of odd dating. Still works today."
"Harmonic, hm?"
She laughed. "Far from it. We have our fights, we are at odds about things, but what couple isn't? We are different people who have found that we want to spend time together as much as is possible in our lives. No different from others, Bonnie. Not at all."
Bonnie gazed at the beige colored floor. The small hospital just outside Two Corners had an almost homely waiting room, with potted plants, a window and very comfortable chairs. The magazines and newspapers weren't all that old, maybe a week or two, and the staff of nurses had been very friendly, though just as strict as in any other hospital. Both women were waiting for news on Nick MacKenzie and Bonnie couldn't believe that all of this had happened.
Michael had been on a case – with Nick – and there had been complications. She didn't know the details, but it had gone down in a fire fight and explosions. Michael had miraculously come away with nothing but a few scrapes and bruises and a dangerously boiling temper. Nick hadn't been so lucky.
Alex received a phone call at 5 a.m. from none other than Karr, who had informed her of what had happened to Nick and that her presence was required. She had been at the warehouse since Nick had scheduled a week of vacation time after this case anyway. The trip to Two Corners had taken less than two hours, with Alex breaking several traffic laws while Bonnie clung to the passenger seat.
Now they were waiting, Alex a picture of calmness, after she had signed the necessary papers and given the nurses some additional information.
"Nick's only human, Bonnie," Alex said with a fine smile.
"He does good work convincing us otherwise."
Alex laughed softly. "Nick's a professional, whatever he does."
Bonnie couldn't resist it. "I want details, Dr. Christopher."
Alex wagged her finger. "Confidential."
The moment of humor passed and Bonnie felt like pacing though Michael wasn't even in the hospital. He was down at the police station, giving his statement, arranging matters with the Foundation and signing whatever needed to be signed. Anything that could wait would have to anyway. He had promised to be back as soon as was humanly possible.
"You are very calm about it," she remarked.
"After over a decade of living with Nick, you learn that panicking is not the way and it won't help. Ninety percent of the time I don't even know about these incidents. This time it was bad enough that I received a call."
"From Karr."
Alex nodded. "He decides whether or not I should be involved." She smiled slightly. "We actually talk from time to time."
"He talks to you about it?" Bonnie tried to grasp the idea. Karr didn't strike her as a very communicative person and he never initiated a conversation if not absolutely necessary.
"Frequently. We get along pretty well."
That had to be an understatement. Aside from Nick, Alex was the only person Bonnie had ever seen approach theStealth without fear and then sit down on his hood. Karr had never growled at her or moved away.
It was that moment the door opened, but instead of the doctor or the nurse, Michael entered. Bonnie rose and briefly embraced him. Alex just gave her a friend a smile. Michael looked pissed and tired, his face showing some mild bruising and his jacket had seen better days. Otherwise he was fine.
"Any word?" he asked.
"None," Bonnie replied.
Michael settled down on the second couch opposite Alex. "Kitt's with Karr, but Karr won't talk. I think he's monitoring Nick."
Alex nodded. She had expected nothing less. "What happened?"
"A lot of shit happened. We were about to close the case when the police interfered, Nick was taken hostage, and everything went down the drain." Michael's face was a mask of barely controlled anger. "There was a fire fight, someone set off a bomb, and Nick was hit by a bullet. Head shot."
Alex's eyes darkened briefly and a muscle in her face twitched. "How bad?"
"He bled a lot, but Kitt told me the bullet didn't enter the cranium. Karr was rather collected, which is a good sign if there is any." Michael took her hand and squeezed it.
Alex took a deep breath and then steadied herself. "Thanks."
After ten more minutes, a doctor entered the small waiting area and Alex rose as he greeted them.
"How is he?" Alex asked.
"A very lucky man, Ms. Christopher. The bullet struck Mr. MacKenzie's head at an angle that only tore a deep gauge into his skin and chipped off some bone. If he had been standing in a different angle, he would be dead. He lost an impressive amount of blood, was unconsciousness, and he certainly has a concussion. We fixed the damage and after the hair grows back, there will be no visible scar."
"Can I see him?"
Michael joined her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She took a lot of comfort in it.
"The moment we have moved him to his room, yes. He is currently in recovery, but he should wake up soon. A nurse will show you the way to his already assinged room." He shot a meaningful glance at the other two waiting friends.
Michael gave the doctor a smile. "Alex will have all the honors to herself. Wouldn't want to scare Nick by crowding his room."
Bonnie exhaled slowly. "I'll wait here as well," she told Alex. "I'll see about accommodations for the night for the three of us."
"Thanks, Bonnie. Make it one night. I know that when Nick wakes up and can manage to walk out of here under his own steam, he will leave."
Michael snorted. "No news there."

Alex carefully studied the dark-haired man in the hospital bed. If it had not been for the white strip of bandage around his head and the bruise on his cheek, Nick might have been asleep, but he was deeply unconscious. Concussed. He had come within a hair's breadth of having a high velocity bullet through his cranium. She was afraid, she had to confess, but she wasn't panicky. As she had told Bonnie, over a decade had given her a thick hide and several layers of shields against these negative emotions. She wasn't unfeeling, but she wouldn't break down in tears. Nick had survived and it was all that mattered.
Nick sighed, a momentary hitch in his otherwise regular breathing, and Alex leaned forward closing a hand over Nick's, making contact to let him know someone was there. Just in case. Nick stirred, the barest movement at first. A restless adjustment of his position followed by a subtle alteration in his breathing pattern then a brief flutter of his eyelids. The familiar ice blue eyes opened wide for a just moment, unfocused and staring - registering nothing - then too-heavy eyelids closed and he slipped away again.
Alex smiled briefly. She carefully touched the black, unruly hair, smoothing it. No different. Nick was no different from any other man she had ever met, whatever he tried to project. He was human, he was vulnerable, and he needed human contact. He might be special in many ways, but he wasn't cold or emotionless. He tried to be, he had to be in this job, but she had never felt more secure with anyone else but him. Whatever Bonnie or even Michael thought, it was wrong.
She left when the nurse asked her to. Alex wasn't about to put up a fight. Nick was in good hands and too drugged to register much. She walked out into the fresh evening air and looked around. The sky had begun to grow dark around noon, the small thunderhead southwest of town had evolved into a deep gray sky. It hadn't rained yet, but the sky looked like it might downpour at any moment. She discovered the target of her search not much later. Karr was parked in the shade of a tree, silent and dark. She approached the Stealth and touched the roof, still radiating enough warmth from the day's sun.
"Hey," she greeted her friend.
The storm was rolling in fast and she could smell the rain. Gusts of wind swept across the town. Karr wordlessly clicked the door open for her to sit on the black leather seats and Alex got in. The door closed silently. She had never understood just why Karr had decided to drop some of his shields, accepted her, trusted her so much that she could touch him and get inside the Stealth while Nick wasn't around. It had taken time, yes, but she had never actively tried to win the AI's trust. She loved Nick and she accepted that he came with Karr. Either both or none.
"He's okay," Alex said softly.
"The hospital records tell as much," was the monotone reply.
She smiled. "He was briefly awake, but didn't really come to. Thanks for calling me, Karr."
There was a non-committal rumble and she leaned back into the seat, gazing at the car's ceiling.
"Can you feel him?"
"Yes," was the answer after a long pause. "He's there. He's resting. I won't approach him. It means pain."
Alex ran a finger across the lower part of the steering wheel. She had noticed the slight tremor in the powerful AI's voice. Karr and Nick had come a long way. She had met them before they had ever run into Michael and Kitt. She remembered the cold distance, the partnership formed out of necessity, not need, and she had seen it change profoundly. Today, they cared about each other. Not because one couldn't live without the other but because they respected the other side. Karr was no longer the machine life form and Nick was no longer the emotionless ex-agent. She had been witness to it all and she had silently thanked Michael and Kitt for their influence, the changes they had started.
"Just keep an eye on him. He will know you are there. Do you want me to stay for the night?"
Another short pause. "No," Karr then answered, voice a bit rougher than before. "You should spend the night in a hotel."
Alex regarded the dash. Unlike Kitt, Karr had no visible voice box display and he had no special features. He looked like a fancy, expensive car. "I heard from a reliable source that the seats are nice and the company is pleasant."
Silence. "You don't have to, Alex," Karr said softly, losing the coldness for a moment.
"But I want to. Just tell Michael that I won't be at the hotel."
"Thank you," was the barely audible reply.

He felt detached. Almost as if his mind and his body had become separate entities operating independently of each other. He seemed to be suspended in a twilight world in which time and space ceased to have any real meaning, in which he could safely ignore the realities of existence. A vague sensation of unease touched him, not enough to create any sense of distress. That he was unable to move was something of a mystery. He had no memory of anything that had gone before the here and now; leaving him with no past on which to anchor. He was faintly troubled by the notion that there was something important that he should remember, knowing that somewhere in a far and inaccessible recess of his mind lay the answer but he had neither the will nor the strength to pursue the thought and once again he surrendered to become a being without substance.
A mind floating free.

Karr watched his driver and bonded partner like a spectator would watch a game. He couldn't interfere, but he would always keep his eyes trained on the warm blue light that was Nick MacKenzie in his mind. Nick had been severely hurt. It seemed to be nothing but a scratch, but still, it had nearly been enough to kill him. Just a bit deeper, a slightly different angle, and he would be dead. Karr never dwelled on possibilities; he simply waited for Nick to recover. Since this was a head wound, Nick wouldn't be able to cope with a link exchange. Karr knew it and he simply watched. No touching, no talking, not even a reassuring caress. Just watching. Frustrating but infinitely more than any other choice he had.
Alex had curled up on the seat, asleep. He was grateful for her presence. Kitt was close by as well, but Karr wasn't about to acknowledge him yet. He didn't want to be distracted from Nick in any way. Alex was no distraction; she was company.
Outside, the first raindrops fell. Within minutes, it was pouring and the few late night strollers ran for cover. Thunder rolled overhead, barely audible in the soundproof interior. Alex moved in her sleep.
As the night dragged into the early morning hours, Karr acknowledged Kitt' presence outside the fortified walls of his mind. He let the white AI wrap a thin tendril around him. Kitt didn't say a word, was just there, and Karr continued watching his driver.

They had breakfast at a small restaurant two blocks away from the hospital and five blocks away from the hotel Michael and Bonnie had checked in. Kitt's message that Alex would spend the night inside the Stealth had come early enough so there wouldn't be an empty hotel room for the night.
/She's on the way/ Kitt informed his partner as they drove to the restaurant.
/Hope she slept well/
Kitt sent a smile. /As well as you would inside the TransAm/
Michael laughed softly. /Any word from Nick?/
/He's still in and out of consciousness, but there have been no complications and no bleeding. He's stable. Karr is reluctant to touch Nick because he is currently rather sensitive, but he keeps watching/
Alex was waiting for them outside the restaurant. Karr was parked next to an old pick-up and he didn't seem to be in any hurry to race back to the hospital. A good sign, if Michael was any judge of it. Not that any of the AIs could actually do something about their drivers while they were in a hospital, but the need to be near was still there. Not even the neuro implant could take that away. Alex looked reasonably awake and she smiled as Michael and Bonnie climbed out of the TransAm.
"I have to be back in L.A. this afternoon," Michael said when the waitress had left with their orders, leaving the coffee pot. "Devon wants a complete report, as does the FBI. The whole case went from small to something really big within an hour."
She nodded. "We'll be fine. Knowing Nick and having heard about the latest medical check, we'll be on our way home soon as well. The doctors won't be able to hold him here for long the moment he's coherent and awake enough to move."
Michael smiled. "I know."
"You want me to stay?" Bonnie asked.
Alex shook her head. "Thanks for the offer, but I can manage." She grinned. "I have back-up in case he tries something."
Michael chuckled and Kitt sent an echoing chuckle through the implant. Karr could really put his foot down, virtually speaking, when it came to getting Nick in line after an injury. There was only so much fight in him after an injury, and all Karr had to do was be very persistent. He could do that just fine.
Michael rubbed his neck. Everything was okay now, he thought. Not so long ago he had nearly had a coronary because of Nick's injury. So close. He still wasn't able to say what had registered in first while he had tensely watched the hostage situation. He only recalled the shock of seeing Nick's head snap back, an arc of blood spraying from the side of his head as the force of impact threw his body sideways, seeing the man behind him stagger, his gun arm thrown up in the air then falling limply to his side as the two men crashed down the steps.
He remembered hearing gunfire then, shots being exchanged between the remaining gunmen and the law enforcement agencies involved in the operation, but his mind had been focused on the body lying at the foot of the steps, a rapidly expanding puddle of blood forming under his head. He remembered Kitt's scream of denial, then he had started to move. The next moments were a blur.
There were memories of leaning over the dark-haired man who was sprawled face down on the sidewalk, blood pooling on the cement around his head. Michael's stomach still roiled uneasily. Back then he had thought he would be sick. He had forced himself to kneel beside the younger man, dread and fear battling for supremacy. With a conscious effort, he had maintained an appearance of outward calm that was totally at odds with his tattered emotions.
A paramedic had suddenly appeared at his side, had gently but firmly pushed him aside. There had been talk about Nick breathing, being alive. The simple fact that Karr hadn't gone haywire and torn through the crowd had been a first sign. Now Michael had started to pray that no brain injury would occur, that the bullet wasn't inside Nick's head.
A slender hand on his arm jerked him out of his memories. Alex smiled at him. "It's over, he survived."
Kitt echoed the words through the link. Yes, it was over, but the memories would never fade. Too close.
"I know," he answered softly.
At least for now.
Bonnie and he left two hours later. Alex and Karr had gone back to the hospital already. Nick would be in very good hands.

They had let him go. He hadn't been given the green light, but Nick had raised hell until the doctors had simply told him to get out. He would sign that he was leaving without a medic's approval and under his own risk. Nick's head still ached, he could not concentrate for more than a couple of minutes and he barely knew where his body was in relation to his surroundings at any given time but he could walk, talk and function enough to be released. In short, he had decided that he could sleep just as well at home as he could in hospital.
He had spent almost two days at Two Corners. The first twenty-four hours were nothing but a blur. He had little recollection as to what had happened, except that he had been helping Michael to wrap up a case when all hell had broken lose. What exactly had occurred was a complete blank. The doctor had told him that amnesia after unconsciousness was normal and since he had received a blow to the head, this was only to be expected. He might recall events later, he might never remember anything at all. Nick knew he had been shot, that he had come within a second of having his brains scattered all over the ground, but he had survived. With a sizable gash and a throbbing headache. A CT scan had shown nothing but what the doctors already knew and there were no bone fragments floating in his cranium. Rest and healing time was all he needed.
Nick finished dressing and leaned against the edge of the bed with a heavy sigh. He rubbed his temples, feeling the start of a headache building behind his eyes. Just the simple task of dressing had left him tired and more than a little grumpy, and now his main ambition was to get out of here. Mustering his energy in a concentrated effort he launched himself from the edge of the bed and moved to the door.
Karr had been a quiet presence throughout the forced stay in this small hospital, only talking to Nick through the normal communicator. He knew his driver was suffering from massive headaches and Nick would probably lash out the moment he felt another presence touch his sensitive mind. Still, he wanted Karr to touch him, but the instinct was stronger than the need.
The door opened and Alex came in, giving him a critical look. The first time he had become aware of her had been after waking up, finding her next to his bed, reading. Karr must have called her; there was no other explanation. He wouldn't confess to his weakness out loud, but he knew she was completely aware of his condition.
"Karr's waiting outside," she said softly. "Ready?"
"Very," he answered.
"I've talked to a very flustered and tight-lipped doctor," she said conversationally. "He wasn't happy about your decision."
Nick shrugged.
"Michael and Bonnie are already back home. We'll be there in a few hours. I'm driving."
Nick tried to glare at her, but it didn't work. He was too busy keeping on his own two feet and when he finally fell into the unfamiliar passenger seat, he was weak and his head was close to exploding. It was like a call for help. Something cool and soothing carefully touched him and he forced his defenses down. No attack. Just Karr.
"Tired?" Alex asked.
"Kinda," he mumbled.
"Considering you came close to having your head separated from your body, that's only to be expected."
Nick fingered the tender laceration above his right ear. She caught his hand and gave him a light scowl. Nick returned the scowl, but it lacked the usual fire. He was dead-tired, nauseous and wanted nothing but to be home.
"Sit back and relax. We'll be home soon."
He sighed, exhausted. A barely perceptible hum coursed through the Stealth and in his mind, Karr blanketed his exhausted spark in a silky coolness. Nick wrapped himself into the safety of the other mind, surrendering to the need and exhaustion, slipping into sleep. There was no verbal communication, just the simple exchange of emotions.

Alex watched Nick drift off the moment she was on the road, steering the Stealth expertly out of town.
"Thanks," she said softly, aware of Karr's involvement.
"He needs to rest," Karr replied, voice low as to not disturb his sleeping driver. "He isn't up to all of this."
She smiled. "But too stubborn to give in, right? Nothing new there."
Alex relaxed back into the seat as she drove. Karr hadn't switched on automatic, which meant a lot. He was trusting her with handling the Stealth. The radio was switched on to a local station and she smiled. The trip home would probably take two or three hours, but she didn't mind. She was on good company.