Healing

Part Nine

After a shower Harry changed into a pair of Ron's pajamas, which were too long by far. No matter how much Harry grew he knew that Ron would always tower over him. He climbed into the spare bed that he always used when he stayed at The Burrow. Harry had no intention of going to sleep just yet. He pulled the letter out of the pocket of his robes and opened it to read.

July 30, 1997

Eight O' Clock, PM

Harry,

I am glad you arrived home safely. It was the only part of my plan that I had any uncertainty of. Once again I must apologize for deceiving you. I must admit that I cheated Harry. Before you left us in 1977 I put several memories of our time in my pensieve. I can only say in my defense that I did so for your sake. The attack on Privet Drive will begin in six hours. As soon as I am done writing to you, Minerva and I will gather the members of the Order and alert the Ministry so we can reach you in time.

Before you left Hogwarts this summer I cast a spell on you which will be activated by the power released when Voldemort dies. That spell is what sent you back twenty years. Having experienced the celebrating at the time of Voldemort's first fall I know that the wizarding world will not give you time to recover and mourn. They will insist on your triumphant presence. When you arrived in 1977 a great weight had been lifted from your shoulders and the events of the past seventeen years finally caught up with you. I believe you need that time in order to survive your victory.

Do not mourn for me now Harry. I have lived much longer than most of our kind does and my life was as meaningful as I hoped it could be. You need to know Harry that you were never alone. I have always watched over you and always will. I apologize for leaving you with the Dursleys all those years, but if I had not you would not be the man you are today. The last seventeen years of my life were touched in a way I never thought possible. You are the son I never had.

Love,

Albus Dumbledore

Harry was overcome with emotion. He had suspected, but never knew just how much Albus cared about him. There had been many caring adults in his life, the Weasleys most prominently, but Albus was the one who advised him, cautioned him, helped him find himself. Sirius was reckless and Remus more like a friend. Albus had been the one who took the role of a father. Even though Albus had told Harry not to mourn, he could not stop the tears that welled up in his eyes.

"Harry?" he heard Hermione say tentatively.

Harry turned to see her standing in the doorway. By the sound of shuffling feet he guessed that there were at least four other people in the hall. He blinked away the impending tears.

"We didn't think you would be sleeping yet. Can we come in?" she asked.

Harry was reminded strongly of Lily. "Sure," he responded. He would have to tell them eventually. It would be easier to do it now than to wait.

The door shut behind the four youngest Weasley siblings. Hermione moved the letter he had set down on the bed and sat beside Harry. Ron joined them on the bed while Fred, George, and Ginny took the other bed. None of them had been in the battle. They had been ordered to stay home, and not even told where everyone was going, despite the fact that all of them except Ginny were Order members.

Harry started his story. "I was sitting in bed, working on my Potions essay, when I saw flashes of light outside my window. I looked outside and saw Death Eaters attacking the wards that Dumbledore had surrounding the house. I knew the Dursleys would wake up soon, so I went to their bedrooms and put up wards that wouldn't let them leave until they were safe. If the house was destroyed the wards would have protected those rooms. I ran outside and fought through the Death Eaters. Then I saw Voldemort kill Albus…

"…and then Minerva gave me the letter and I Flooed over here," Harry finished.

Harry did not notice the glance Fred and George exchanged as he told his story. He had told them everything except his relationship with Moony and his animagus form. Ron and Hermione were the only ones who knew he was an animagus. Albus and Minerva had the forms ready to file to register him. They had planned to submit them once the news got out or Voldemort died, whichever happened first. He could wait a few weeks to tell the others.

"You actually got to meet your parents?" George asked.

Harry nodded. He missed them, but the pain of never knowing them was gone. He no longer felt guilt over their deaths or Sirius's death. Harry thought briefly about Remus. He almost wished he had listened and not performed the memory charm, but knew he had acted for the best. He knew Minerva's charm had been reversed, but he couldn't hope for the same with Remus.

"Harry?" he heard Ron say.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"We lost you for a minute there. Was it your parents and Sirius?" he asked gently.

Harry was surprised. Ron was not usually so thoughtful. "No, yes, I... do you mind if I don't say? I don't think I'm ready for that." Harry bit his lip and looked down.

"Of course not," Ginny said. She jumped off the other bed and hugged him. "You don't have to tell us anything you don't want to."

"We better go before Mum realizes we're up here. She'll kill us for keeping you awake," Fred said.

The Weasleys all hurried out of the room, but Hermione hesitated at the door. She made a shooing motion and closed it again, turning back to Harry.

"You need to talk to him Harry, soon," she advised.

Harry's jaw dropped, "I didn't say anything!"

"You didn't have to. It was pretty easy to read between the lines and I know you. You said he asked you not to put the memory charm on him. He was the one you tested to make sure it worked. Harry, he didn't want to forget it was you," Hermione said quietly.

The tears he had held back earlier spilled over, "What if he doesn't remember? What if he doesn't want me anymore?"

She sat back down on the bed and hugged him, "There's only one way to find out."

That day Harry slept for more straight hours in a row than he had in at least two years. There were no nightmares and his scar didn't hurt for the first time in years. He woke up to discover that Molly and Arthur Weasley were only just getting back from some errand or another, and Bill, Charlie, Fred, and George weren't expected back until dinner.

The celebrations lasted for three weeks. Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys were put up at The Leaky Cauldron, free of charge. Harry was given the Order of Merlin, First Class, the youngest ever to receive the distinction. The Ministry made Harry's birthday, the day Voldemort was defeated, an official holiday. Harry was the guest of honor at banquets, ceremonies, parties, and other events.

All of Harry's accomplishments were applauded many times, now spun in a more positive light than they had been in the past. There was a memorial service for everyone who fell fighting Voldemort and a special service honoring Albus Dumbledore. Harry had to make speeches at each event. Hermione helped him write them. They ended up with three basic speeches and tweaked them each time he had to speak. Harry was surrounded by people everywhere he went. There were members of the Order of the Phoenix nearby constantly, as there were Death Eaters still at large.

It was easy to avoid Remus. With all the people trying to see Harry it was difficult for anyone to get close to him. Hermione and Ron appointed themselves as Harry's intermediaries. They made sure he got time to eat and sleep, but that was about all they could manage. They waded through the piles of letters delivered by owl every day. Harry suspected he had received at least one hundred letters a day. With the size of the wizarding population that was a significant number. In those letters were at least fifty job offers for when Harry graduated from Hogwarts.

Mrs. Weasley had to do the shopping for their seventh year at Hogwarts, as she had the three previous years. Harry had expected to finally be able to get his own supplies, now that Voldemort was gone, but he would have had to fight through crowds of well wishers just to buy his books. Harry was also sent many gifts, which were thoroughly inspected before he was allowed to touch them. As Fred and George had the most experience hexing objects they were the first line of defense. Harry suspected that they got a few ideas for their joke shop as they inspected and removed jinxes from various packages.

Harry spent the final week before classes started at Hogwarts. The celebrations were dying down and people were back to work. The silence in the castle was deafening. Until he got there Harry hadn't noticed that he had been surrounded by noise ever since he got to The Burrow on his birthday. Harry spent a lot of his time talking with Minerva or wandering the corridors. It was a habit he couldn't seem to break.

"Hello Severus," he said as he passed the Potions Master, smiling at the memory that brought up.

"Harry," Snape said as he strode away, his robes billowing behind him.

Harry spun around and stared after him in shock, "You're not limping!"

"Why would I be Potter?" Snape snapped at him.

"But… your injury… I thought," Harry stammered.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Snape demanded.

"When you saved Remus... they cursed you. The healers couldn't fix your leg," Harry said.

"The fame has addled your brain. I never saved your pet werewolf," Snape said as he walked back to where Harry was standing.

"But how did they catch Wormtail, then?" Harry was confused.

"Are you feeling well Harry?" Snape actually looked concerned.

Harry gave him an irritated glare, "I'm fine. Tell me how they caught Peter."

"I think you, of all people, would remember," he stepped closer to Harry, inspected him. "He turned himself in, to you, when Voldemort demanded he kill Remus Lupin." Snape told him.

Harry stood with his mouth wide open. He was sure his astonished expression was disturbing the potions professor. "Did he receive the kiss?"

"No," Snape looked disgusted. "He was sentenced to ten years after he turned in several other Death Eaters and revealed what he knew of Voldemort's plans."

Harry stretched out his hand to support himself against a wall. He suddenly felt ill. "Oh no, what else did I change?"

"Harry?"

"How much do you remember about your seventh year at Hogwarts? Do you remember a new Gryffindor who disappeared on Halloween?" Harry asked.

"If you've been in my pensieve again..." Snape said threateningly. If any other wizard had heard him talking this way to Harry Potter, Snape would have been attacked.

"No, I haven't," Harry said. He raised his wand and changed his hair, and then his eyes.

"Harry Jameson? It was you Potter?" Snape's normal harsh tone had disappeared. For the first time Harry saw true bewilderment on the man's face.

Harry returned himself to his normal appearance. "Can you believe all that really happened in only seven hours here? I got there on the same day I left here. Minerva found me on the quidditch pitch."

"Be very careful when you refer to anything that happened since then. I suggest you spend the rest of the week in the library looking up everything you can on anyone you had contact with in 1977. Does Minerva know what happened?" Snape questioned.

"Yes," Harry nodded miserably. He was suddenly afraid that he had changed things dramatically. "How did this happen?"

"Perhaps you did not think, as usual," Snape suggested, although all malice was absent from his tone.

"I memory charmed everyone who knew," Harry said. "Minerva's charm broke the night I killed Voldemort."

"Perhaps some of the others broke as well," Snape suggested.

"I think I need to see Peter," Harry looked to Snape.

"Harry," a soft voice said.

Harry whipped around. He hadn't been expecting this. With all that had happened he wasn't ready. "What are you doing here?" his voice trembled.

"I've been trying to see you for weeks," Remus said. "Minerva told me you were here."

"I've been busy," Harry did not lie. He was sitting in the Hogwarts library with twenty years of The Daily Prophet spread out before him. There were two days left until the rest of the students arrived. Luckily all the Hogwarts professors, except Albus, survived the war. The only vacant position was Transfiguration. Minerva was currently planning on teaching and performing the duties of Headmistress until they found a replacement.

"Harry, have you been avoiding me?" Remus asked.

Harry could see the hurt in his eyes. He wanted to do nothing more than kiss the hurt away, but he couldn't. "No… I…"

"Harry, don't lie to me. You're as bad at it as James was," Remus said as he pulled up a chair next to Harry.

Harry felt like a jolt of electricity passed through him as Remus's arm brushed his. He hadn't even been this nervous the first time they kissed. There was much more at stake now. Harry pushed back his chair and stood up, trying to put some distance between them. He couldn't think with Remus that near.

Harry couldn't look at his eyes, so he examined the rest of the man before him. He was very different from his seventeen-year-old self. The thirty-seven-year-old had streaks of gray hair and his face was lined with years of loss and pain. Harry knew there were scars from each transformation, and some from battle as well.

"Harry," Remus reached out and took Harry's hand.

Harry did not reply. He felt his breath quicken. Remus stood and bent down to press his lips against Harry's. Harry wrapped his arms around Remus and drew the man tight against his body. All doubt fled Harry's mind as he let himself be consumed by desire for the older man. When they pulled apart Harry brushed Moony's face from temple to chin with the back of his fingers and whispered the nickname.

"Harry, are you sure? I'm twenty years older than I was when -"

"And I'm not. I was afraid you didn't want it anymore. It may have been twenty years for you, but it wasn't much more than twenty days for me. When did you remember?" Harry inquired, still unable to believe.

"It was the night Sirius died. I saw him fall through the veil, and I had already lost him once. Then you tried to get to him, and I couldn't lose you too. When I tried to stop you… it was like a dam broke in my mind. I was practically paralyzed. I couldn't stop you from chasing after Bella. I've waited a year for you to know." Remus was holding Harry around the waist.

"I'm sorry Moony. I charmed you without your permission. You asked me not to." Harry thought he might cry again. Tears seemed to come so much easier since Voldemort died.

"Why did you? You didn't try to convince me," Remus asked.

"I would have given in, and I knew I couldn't. I've done enough as it is. I've changed you, Minerva, Severus, Peter, and who knows what else?" Harry explained, trying to excuse his trespass.

"It's okay Harry. I'm not mad. How could I be mad at you?" Remus said, leaning in for another kiss.

Minerva watched the reunion from the doorway. She had cast the Disillusion Charm on herself so she didn't intrude. When she had seen that Harry would never approach Remus she had called Remus into her office. He had been just as reluctant to approach Harry as Harry was to approach him. Of course, their reasons were entirely different. Once a lengthy discussion was past he had submitted to her persuasion. With Harry as young as he was a relationship with someone twenty years his senior would not necessarily be approved of by the community at large.

At seventeen, though, Harry was legally an adult. After defeating Voldemort the wizarding world was liable to forgive any transgressions on his part. Minerva stepped aside as Harry and Remus left the library together. They headed towards Gryffindor Tower. Minerva turned towards the dungeons. She had to find Severus and inform him of this development concerning the seventh year student and the new Transfiguration professor. She pictured the expression on the Potions Master's face and grinned. It was now obvious why Albus was always smiling. This job had many benefits.

The End

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The Sequel: Another Chance

And Then: Behind Blue Eyes

The Companion Piece: Changes

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