Title: Emotions

Rating: you know :)

Disclamer: they don't belong to me yet...althought, I kidnap Bosco every now and then lol

Note: I dedictate this story to my dearest friend Maria...and to all the shippers out there!

ps: I wrote this story two nights ago, I cried (again) a lot...it took me a while to decide if I should send it, I didn't thought it was good enought...now is your time to decide.

please be nice! remember English is not my native language :)

Emotions

I walk around the room,my hands are shaking in fear...I can barely breathe, my chest feels heavy and my head aches...that's when I remember the blood falling from my forehead. A woman walks towards me and I feel the panic again, I think she feels it too because she walks slowly.

"well,Miss Yokas..."

" Mitchell" I say " My last name is Mitchell"

"ohh..sorry...well. Mr Boscorelli..." she stays quiet for a second, looking straight to the paper in her hand

I shake as I have the words in my mouth but not wanting to pronounce them...she won't say anything if I don't say I'm ready, even thought I'm never gonna be.

"is he dead?" I say, she looks at me but doesn't say anything "is he?"

"I'm sorry" she says still playing with the paper in her hands "there was nothing we could do..."

I walk away leaving the woman looking at me with a sad look.

Sully,Emily, Davis and Swersky are waiting for me. I can barely walk, while I think about what happend, my head aches and so does my heart. I don't let them see me sad, I don't them to feel sorry for me, pity is the last thing I need now.

"are you ok, Faith" Sully walks beside me, I made a fade attempt to look at him, I just stay there, petrified

"I'm good..." I lie...Emily looks at my head where a soft line of blood is already dry, she tries to touch it but I don't let her.

" you have to check that wound, mom" she says,my eyes are lost in an imaginary point behind her, after a few minutes Swersky walks in front of me, asking what I fear...

"how's Bosco?" he waits for my answer, I finally wake up from my daydream

" he..." I swallow hard "he...he died."

"w-what?" Emily, speaks with pain in her voice, the rest are speachless.

"oh, Faith I'm so sorry" Sully hugs me so does Monroe and Davis, I can move cause my body is sore...I want to disappear "is there anything we can do for you?" he asks

"yeah...take me home..."

"sure., Emily..."

"no" I say, they turn around to see me "take me over Bosco's..."

Sully drives slowly. I look outside the window,my thoughts lost on the last events,mostly on him...I can hear Emily's sobs on Davis shoulder, she crying and I can't do it...I can cry don't know why.

My one and only love just died and I can't even show to everyone how bad I feel, they might think I'm hard-hearted but for me Bosco is here...somewhere...

"are you sure you wanna do this, Faith" Davis asks me while Emily sleeps in his arms

"I'm gonna stay here tonight...can you take Emily home". I ask still looking outside the window

"sure we will...-" Sully says, I walk outise the car after whispering a soft thank you.

I take the key out of my pocket, slowly...I walk inside without turning the light on, I know the path by hard there were so many nights I spend here it's hard to forget.

When I walk inside his room is when I realize he will never come back, he will never talk to me again, I will never see his dark blue eyes or his sweet smile...I cry, I yell...I took all the pain out of my system until I fall asleep.

"give me the keys" Bosco says, walking outside his apartament with Faith following behind

"why don't you let me drive?" she asks, Bosco laughs "what's so funny?"

"oh I thought you were joking...and the answer is no...nobody drives my baby"

"for the love of God, Bosco! is just a car"

"hey!" he points his finger to her chest "is not just "a car" is THE car...my car, my baby"

"whatever...come one we are gonna be late, Swersky is gonna kill us..."

"you mean me" he says walking towards the drivers seat "he is gonna find a way to yell at me anyway".

He drives fast enought that he manages to get all the green lights, Faith was not scared, she got used to the way he drove after doing it so many times, it was the only way they got in time for work and the fact that he didn't pay attention to her yellings or her warnings.

"so..." he says, looking straight to the drive way

"so?" Faith says,looking outside the window too

"I was thinking...why don't we talk to the boss?"

"talk to the boss?" she looks at him "about what?"

"ya know..." he turns around with a smile on his face "us..."

"Bosco..."

"I know...I'm sorry,you said you didn't wanted to..." he looks at the drive way again "sorry..."

"is just that...I think the boss already knows..". he turns around in shock

"what? how? did you told him?"

"actually, he knows cause I..." she clears her throat before continue "I...I think I'm pregnant and I told him."

"oh..." he turns around again "WHAT?"

"Bosco look out!..."

I wake up on cold sweat...my head aches again. I didn't remember about the baby, I touched my stomac and I cried again...this should make me happy but this baby was the reason why we had the accident, I should have told him about this...

two days later...

I dress myslef in a long black dress...I look at my mirror,my eyes are red for all the times I've cried, I felt free everytime I did. Emily says it's normal cause I just lost a friend, she doesn't know the truth, she can't even imagine how quilty I feel about this.

"mom,are you ready?" she says as she walks inside the room "Sully is waiting for us"

"almost..." I turn around to look at her "Emily,there's something I have to tell you" I sat on my bed and she does the same

"what's wrong?" she asks with consern in her eyes.

"honey..." I took a deep breath "I'm pregnant."

"w-what?" she speaks in shock and almost smiling

"Bosco is the father..." I see her smile fainting, she squeez my hand "the day...I told him the day we had the accident..."

"mom, you don't think he died because of you, do you?" she ask, crying softly

"he was driving, Emily...if I...if it wasn't for me he could still be here" I cried "I wouldn't have to rase this baby on my own...he could still have his father..." I cry while Emily hugs me and whispers some sweet things to make me feel better, even though she knows it's imposible.

Every single person in the station came to Bosco's funeral, even Cruz.

She says how sorry she was, she cried like every one did...we said goodbye, a few words. I took a red rose and put it on his grave as everyone kept staring at me.

It was beautifull, he had a funeral with honors even thought he was not on duty when he passed, Swersky said a good cop like him deserves that and more.

I managed to move one with my life, it was hard but I had to do it for our baby. Michael grew up healthy and beautiful, when I look at him I see Maurice, I see all the love we shared. Maybe later, a couple of years from now, I'll tell him how special his father was.

Fin