Hadn't

By Juupren

Hadn’t he known, when she agreed to go to dinner with him the first time that she was never going to take him seriously? Hadn’t he known, when she agreed to dinner the second time, she was never going to love him? Hadn’t he known, when she agreed to go with him to that Christmas party that she would always prefer his brother over him? And hadn’t he known, that when she agreed to lunch that day, that his brother would probably have a fit? He’d known. Oh, he’d known. But he forged ahead anyway.

Hadn’t she known, when he asked her to dinner the first time that she wouldn’t ever take him seriously? Hadn’t she known that when she consented to dinner again, that she would never learn to love him? Hadn’t she known, that time she’d gone to that Christmas party with him, that she would always prefer his brother to him? And hadn’t she known, that when she agreed to lunch that day, that his brother would probably have a fit? Oh, she’d known. But she agreed anyway.

Hadn’t he known, after their first kiss, that they could never be happy together? Hadn’t he known, after he kissed her again, that one day he would wake up and she would no longer be there? Hadn’t he known, after that night, that she would leave him and never come back? He’d known.

Hadn’t she known, after he kissed her the first time, that they could never be happy together? Hadn’t she known, after they kissed again, that one day she wouldn’t wake up? Hadn’t she known, after that night, that she would leave and never come back one day? She’d known.

Hadn’t he realized, after that first night in the hospital by her bed, that she wouldn’t make it much longer? Hadn’t he realized that after she collapsed that day at lunch, that he would miss her more than anything? Hadn’t he realized, after speaking with the doctors, that she wouldn’t wake up one morning? He’d realized.

Hadn’t she realized, after their wedding, she wouldn’t make it much longer? Hadn’t she realized, that after she collapsed at their reception, that she would regret losing him more than anything? Hadn’t she realized, after getting his brother’s blessings, he would wake up one morning, expecting to see her smile, but instead find her cold? She’d realized.

Hadn’t he waited, after she collapsed that other night, to see her come out of the emergency room, all smiles and apologies for making everyone worry? Hadn’t he waited, waited for that smile to reassure him? Hadn’t he waited long enough, when he broke free from the doctor’s holds, trying to find her? Hadn’t he waited there beside her bed as her breathing stopped? He’d waited.

Hadn’t he watched, as his brother fell in love with his best friend? Hadn’t he watched, as his best friend underwent surgery after surgery to keep her body functioning? Hadn’t he watched as his icy brother melted under his best friend’s influence? Hadn’t he watched as his brother, his former enemy, lost what little he had to live for? And hadn’t he watched as that defrosted heart freeze again when his best friend was lowered into the earth? He’d watched.

Hadn’t he known, after she told him, that she wouldn’t last another year? Hadn’t he known the cancer inside of her was killing her, bit by bit, day by day? Hadn’t he realized that almost all of her smiles were there to hide the pain? Hadn’t he waited, just for those special smiles reserved for him? Hadn’t he made her last days her best? Hadn’t he wished that those last days lasted longer?

She had watched, as he deteriorated. She had watched, as he stopped eating, and started drinking. She had watched as his brother and father took away the drinks. And she had watched as he came back to life. She had watched as he never loved again, and she had watched as he looked at her picture everyday. She had watched as his brother died, a victim of time, and they had watched together as he deteriorated still further. They had watched as he adopted a child, and they had watched as the child grew and healed his heart some and kept away the drinking. And finally, they had watched, and the child watched, as he was lowered into the ground beside her. And she was happy… happy that she would see him again.

She knew, this time, that it would last. She knew that this time, all of her smiles would be for him. And she knew, that this time… this time, when she left… she would always return.

Wow, that was depressing. Just a short little oneshot. Hope you ... enjoyed it?

Oh, just in case you were wondering, italics is Sesshoumaru, bold is Inu Yasha, and regular is Kagome.