Erm. Hello.

Usually I'd apologize for not updating but there are really no excuses for not updating in over a year. I am sorry, though. I've felt terribly guilty. D:

This is going to be the last chapter. I've pretty much lost interest in this story. I hate when that happens, but I have a horribly short attention span.

Without further ado, here's chapter seven. Enjoy!

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The figure lurked through the streets of Tokyo, carrying a bundle of papers in his arms. The papers were supremely important and very dangerous if placed in the wrong hands. He kept to the shadows, making sure not to alert anyone to his presence. When he came to an abandoned alleyway, he took out his cell phone and dialed a number. The man at the other end picked up and said, "That you, man?"

"Yes sir," the figure said. "I've got the papers."

"Awesome, man. I'll meet you at the rendezvous point. Don't be late."

They each hung up, and he continued his trek. He went down a few alleyways until he came to a fairly crowded street. A man with long hair and a tie-dye shirt was standing on the corner, looking painfully conspicuous. The figure approached him, silently handed the papers over to him, and departed.

Not long after that, a familiar pink-haired girl and two aliens started walking down the same street.

"We'll never find Masaya, you know," Ichigo said, frowning. "He's probably fled to Okinawa or something. I suppose he has brains enough to do that, even if it is a stretch."

"I don't even remember why we're looking for him," Kish said.

They all paused and thought.

"Oh, I remember!" Tart said. "We have to kill him because he owns us."

"Oh!" Kish and Ichigo said in unison.

Fueled by this newly remembered knowledge, the group began asking everyone they saw if they've seen Masaya. Sadly, a majority of people didn't know or care. And then they came to the man in the tie-dye shirt.

"Do you know where Masaya Aoyama is?" Ichigo asked the man.

His reaction was one they had been looking for. The man's eye's widened in recognition, and he said in a guilty, hurried way, "Nope, don't know any Masaya, man." He held the papers to his chest in a protective manner.

"What's with those papers?" Kish asked.

"What papers? I don't see no papers, man!"

He tried to back away, but Kish grabbed his arm and Ichigo pulled the papers from his grasp. She looked at the topmost paper and blinked at it in a bemused fashion.

"What's it say?" Tart asked.

Ichigo held the paper up for him and Kish to see. It read:

Masaya Aoyama is living under Ichigo Momomiya's bed. If anyone learns this information, please forget it. If you can't, the I-Love-The-Environment Club will stalk your life and make you eat organic food.

Ichigo raised an eyebrow at the man. "Are these flyers?" she inquired.

"Yes, yes already, man!" the man exclaimed. "Masaya gave 'em to me just now! I was gonna hang 'em up around town and I was told not to give them to you, 'cause you'd ruin the cause!"

"I think my brain just broke from the stupidity of it all," Kish said. He let go of the man.

"Peace out!" the man yelled before running away.

"This is so horrible!" Ichigo said.

"What's so horrible about it?" Kish asked. "We know where he is."

"Yes, but he's under my bed. I have to buy a new one now!"

She began walking irately in the direction of her house. The aliens followed her.

Ichigo's dad was shocked when Ichigo told him that Masaya was living under her bed.

"Well, I didn't let that punk in," he said.

"Then who did?"

Ichigo's mother entered the living room with a tray of cookies. But when she saw her husband's suspicious gaze and her daughter and two boys with pointy ears staring at her, she retreated back into the kitchen.

Ichigo followed her and asked calmly enough, "Mom, did you, oh, I don't know, let a certain idiot lodge in my room?"

Just give her a rational, untrue answer, she thought. Don't panic, Sakura!

"YES, YES I DID! DON'T KILL ME!" she screamed, cowering behind the tray of cookies.

"I'll deal with you later," Ichigo said menacingly. She then proceeded to her room.

She stood in front of her bedroom door for a little while, contemplating. She knew Masaya wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box, but it was possible that he set this up as a trap. Kish seemed to read her thoughts, because he solemnly agreed to go in first.

"Be careful, Kish," Tart said.

Kish went into the room, shutting the door behind him. What Ichigo and Tart then heard would haunt their dreams forever.

"The Force is with you, Kish, but you are NOT A JEDI YET!"

There was a crash and a scream. Ichigo pulled the door open and saw Masaya, dressed in robes and holding a plastic light saber, lying on the remains of Ichigo's desk.

"Kish, you ruined my desk!"

"He fell on it on purpose, I didn't do anything," Kish said with indignation.

Masaya stood up, waving the plastic light saber in a way that was not particularly threatening. Ichigo went up to him.

"Masaya, we have to kill you," she told him. "You see, you have ownership over us, and-"

"What are you talking about?" Masaya asked. "The authoress won your freedom back in another game of poker ages ago. She's pretty good at it, actually. I guess she told you otherwise, hm?"

"You mean… we were… this whole thing was pointless?" Ichigo asked, bewildered.

Masaya nodded.

"The mansion, that PMS group, all the searching… they could have been avoided?"

"A Jedi desires none of these," Masaya said, nodding.

"Oh, I'm going to murder that authoress!" Ichigo cried. "OMNIPOTENT OTAKU!"

But the authoress didn't appear; she knew not to face the wrath of Ichigo.

Ichigo, seething, snatched the plastic light saber from Masaya's hand. Masaya started backing away from her.

"I know!" Masaya said. "Let's talk about this over some coffee, 'kay? Oooh, then we can clean the river!"

This was the wrong thing to say. Ichigo swung the light saber at him, and Masaya ducked. He then jumped out the window and ran screaming into the sunset. Ichigo followed him, swinging the plastic weapon as she went. Kish and Tart watched, slightly amused.

"All's well that ends well," Kish said.

The two aliens teleported back to their ship, quite glad that their little adventure was over.

THE END

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That was the worst ending ever. D: I'm sorry.

Well, I hoped you liked the fic. Thank you everyone for reading. -bows- Much love to all of you, and God bless!

-departs-