Hello for the final time. Because I wanted to sit on this chapter for awhile, just to make sure I was satisfied with it, I decided not to upload it until today. Besides that, life's a whirlwind. For the sake of tradition, I apologize for the late update and thank you all for tolerating my unparalleled unreliability.

So here it is at last: the final, last, closing chapter of this story. Three and a half years later, it is here! I'm probably happier about that than most of you. Anyway, it's only fitting that I go out with a bang, so you'll be happy to know that this is the longest chapter in the entire story, at 27.5 pages. Savor it, I guess, haha. It's up to you.

There will be no summary of what happens in the chapter, but just a general overview of the tone. Prepare for a roller coaster. Up until now, the story's timeline spanned around three weeks. This chapter covers roughly eight months. Couple that with the aftermath of a second terrorist attack and characters reacting to death, and this chapter may seem very bizarre compared to the rest. The entire chapter's premise is that of one of Yuna's journal entries, combined with related flashbacks and some things happening at the time that she is writing. There's no real convoluted element, but I'm still throwing a lot at you at once. But I didn't want to stretch the final moments of the story into two separate chapters. It just worked out better this way. Plus, I've had this ending envisioned in my head the entire time I've been writing this, so you're kinda stuck with it. :)

Just read and enjoy. I'll have an epic author's note at the end.

Chapter 18: Zanarkand, Full Circle

What a whirlwind it's been! It's been such a long time since I wrote anything in here. I remember it being given to me on the day I met Tidus, November 22nd. Thankfully, I wrote an entry in here on that day, so I know the date I met him. Thank Yevon, because I would have forgotten otherwise! November 22nd . . . wow, It's been almost a year! For a while, I had forgotten that I even had this, but I'm glad I found it. I've wanted to write about everything that's happened, and now I have the time and the will. I can hardly believe it. So much has happened since then. My life has changed so much and in so many ways. It would probably take the rest of the pages in this journal for me to be able to talk about everything. For my own sake, I will try and keep it short. It's only now that I feel like I can write about all that has happened without breaking down.

The last months have been very difficult, though I'm better now. In the very beginning, there were no ups and downs, only downs. I told myself that my grief was only temporary, that I would eventually move on and life would return to normal. I remember having to tell myself that over and over again in the early days. It became a mantra, almost. I kept telling myself that if I said it often enough, I would eventually believe it. That moment came a lot later than I thought it would, and I almost gave up on ever believing that things would be even close to all right.

I owe so much to so many different people for helping me work through it all. And that was in addition to their own problems. The sad thing is that I'll never be able to repay them, and I know none of them would ever let me either.

Of course, my wishes have always been Maechen's commands. He's always had my best interests at heart. At first, I was upset that he wouldn't step out of his servant persona, and just be a friend. Thankfully, it didn't take me long to figure out that he was being a friend, but in the only way he knew how. We'd had that kind of a conversation before, but this time it actually sank in. He wanted to be my friend and caretaker at the same time. At first, I was reluctant to say anything about what had happened to me, and for the same old reasons. He always needed to pry to get me to talk about what was on my mind. I didn't want him to have to pry. I really didn't. But for some reason, I do that to him. He wouldn't hear my apologies for it, either. I think he figured out quickly, though, that I was just being myself just like I figured out that he was just being himself.

He did the nicest thing for me too. A few days after Father was killed, he got on the phone with everybody who had been in Kinoc's office that day. 'They all had such busy schedules,' I told him. How was it possible? Besides, I didn't want them inconvenienced on my behalf. He told me there was no inconvenience and that he "would make it happen." I remember him saying that word for word. He thought it was necessary and appropriate, not just for me, but for Rikku and Cid and everybody else as well. Cid and Rikku had already agreed. We had already sat down once to spend some time together, but it didn't really do much. Not that I could blame either of them. They were sad too, but they felt that I had lost more or something. They weren't really sure what to say to me. It was my fault, really. I just felt so guilty.

I guess Maechen was tired of seeing me so sad. So he called them. He called them all: Lulu, Belgemine, Auron, Wakka, Leblanc. They all quickly agreed to help me, to help us. Lulu even offered to host the get-together in her office. I was overwhelmed by the gestures. You see now why I feel so indebted to them?

Unfortunately, and I feel horrible for this, I wasn't so receptive of the idea then. Was I the only person who thought it was too soon? Neither Father nor Tidus had even been laid to rest yet! I talked to Maechen about it. I told him that I just didn't think I was ready. I couldn't talk about it yet. For Yevon's sake, I just lost my father and my boyfriend two days before! I didn't even know how I felt, so how could they?

I guess I was worried that everybody would try to be my psychiatrist. I was in no mood to be counseled. I needed my time to mourn, and it would probably take me a long time. When I told Maechen what I was thinking, he understood . . . to a point. All he said after that was, "Yuna, if you go, you don't even have to say anything. You can just listen. They'll understand. Nobody's expecting anything of you." He was almost willing to cave and cancel the whole thing at my insistence, but when I realized that he was right, I relented.

~~~~~ ZFC 3.4 ~~~~~

_
Zanarkand, Office of the District Attorney.
14:26.
Friday, December 20.

"Maechen, I presume?"

"That's correct, Miss. A pleasure to meet you." The elderly caretaker entered Lulu's spacious fourth floor office and shook her hand warmly. "Yuna will be along shortly," he added.

Lulu nodded. "Er, Maechen, I'm just going to be up front with you, because I can, all right?" The old man looked at her curiously, inviting her to go on. "I'm not going to say much to Yuna," she continued. "I don't know what to say. It really isn't my place . . . hosting this meeting was my way of conveying my condolences."

Maechen shook his head. "And I am grateful," he said. "Nobody's obligated to say anything, Miss. You're fine."

Lulu looked slightly relieved. "Great," she said. "Now that we've cleared that up, would you like some coffee?" she asked.

Maechen looked up again. "Thank you very much, but I probably shouldn't," he said. "I wouldn't say no to an ale, though."

Lulu's eyebrows rose, and she smiled. "Early start on the weekend, hmm?" She walked behind her desk and pressed the intercom button on her phone. "I don't blame you." The intercom beeped. "I need beer in my office ASAP," she said into the phone.

A male voice at the other end replied. "Sure thing, Lulu."

At that moment, Wakka entered the office, followed by Rikku and Cid. Both Lulu and Maechen raised their eyebrows when they saw the newcomers. The new Mayor of Zanarkand appeared the most presentable of the three, even with the arm on the same side as his injured shoulder in a brand-new sling. However, he might as well have been a zombie in a suit for how distracted (and medicated) he was. Fresh out of the hospital two days ago after extensive shoulder surgery, his eyes were unfocused, his face completely blank. He just stared straight ahead. The death of his friend was weighing heavily on his mind, as well as his new responsibilities as the new Mayor.

Wakka's eyes were bloodshot, and it looked as though he hadn't shaven in several days. His hair was a mess, and the jeans and shirt he wore were very wrinkled, as though they had just been pulled out of the dryer. Rikku looked the worst of the three. Her eyes, which had large purple bags underneath them, were also very red and her head drooped. In one hand she clutched a handkerchief, and in the other was a package of cough drops. It was only then that Maechen realized what the blanket under Cid's good arm was for.

"Oh dear," Maechen said upon seeing her.

She blew her nose. "I'b sorry," she said thickly. "I probably should have stayed hobe."

Maechen shook his head. "Don't apologize," he said. "It must be the stress and the chill. Come, let's get you comfortable."

Lulu buzzed her intercom again. "And a cup of lemon tea," she barked into the phone.

Coughing into her handkerchief, Rikku slowly walked forward and plopped herself unceremoniously in the closest armchair. Wakka and Cid followed, the latter man taking a seat next to his daughter and resting his hands in his lap, looking straight ahead of him in the direction of the window looking out over the city. Wakka sat with Rikku in her chair (they were large enough to fit both of them). He wrapped the blanket around each of them and held her close. She looked up at him with a small smile before promptly turning away to hack into her handkerchief again.

"So . . . we're just waiting on Auron, Belgemine and Leblanc," Lulu said.

At that moment, Belgemine strode into the office. "I apologize for being late," she said briskly. "Unfortunately, damage control is a full-time job."

"How is it out there?" Lulu asked.

Belgemine took a vacant chair, sighing heavily. "Let me put it this way. If somebody so much as kills a cat, the whole city's going to snap. Half of them want me in front of a firing squad." She shrugged. "The other half are too busy mourning Braska to be angry."

"Don't worry . . . we'll figure it out," Cid said distantly, not looking at her. Belgemine looked at him, her eyebrows slightly raised.

Lulu nodded. "I'm sure that once the DASC is through investigating the SIA, you'll be fine. Kinoc was acting alone, right?"

Belgemine nodded. "As far as I know," she said. "I didn't know anything at all about his plans until Wakka and Auron brought it to my attention."

There was a knock on the door. Everybody but Cid looked up, expecting to see Yuna. Instead, they saw Leblanc tentatively poking her head inside the room.

"Hello, loves," she said, smiling hopefully. However, when nobody returned the smile, she quickly got rid of it. Reddening a little, she walked over to Lulu's desk and laid a very tiny cassette tape on it. "I wanted to talk to you about this after we're finished," she said. "It's what I got while we were all in . . ." She trailed off, clearing her throat when she saw who had just appeared.

Yuna was standing in the entrance to the office, leaning against the doorway. She also clasped a handkerchief, but for an entirely different reason than Rikku. Her gaze was cast down at the floor, and she shook slightly. All who were sitting down instantly rose from their chairs, and Leblanc quickly made her way around her desk to greet her.

"Yuna," she said, crossing to the girl and briefly touching a hand to her cheek. "We're so happy you came."

Yuna looked up at her for a few seconds, not saying a word. Then, she shook her head. "I don't know if I can do this," she whispered. Those on the other side of the room, around the table, were just barely able to make out what she said. "It's just – I – I could barely bring myself to come in the first place . . ." She began to look around her, as if searching for an opportunity to flee the room.

"Yunie," Rikku said, sniffing and moving toward her cousin. "It's okay. I'm here. I'll help you." Yuna stopped, turning to look at her. "Please. I want you to stay."

A single tear descended from Yuna's green eye, and she quickly wiped it away. "All right," she said.

Rikku, looking much happier, sat down again, and Leblanc led her to one of the last empty chairs, the one right next to Rikku and Wakka's on the left. Yuna sat down slowly, intentionally keeping her gaze locked on the floor. She was afraid that she would completely lose her nerve if she made eye contact with any of them.

"Is . . . is Auron coming?" she asked quietly.

Lulu had also sat down by this time. "He's supposed to," she said. "Something must be holding him up. Do you want to wait another minute or two?" Yuna thought about it for a second, and she nodded.

As they waited, all seated around the large table, they were silent. Nobody said a word. Starting with Yuna and going clockwise, the seating order went from Yuna to Belgemine to Leblanc to Lulu to Cid, and finally Wakka and Rikku's shared chair. The two empty chairs were in between Lulu and Cid. A minute or two passed before there was a knock on the door. All looked up, expecting to see Auron. However, it was simply an employee of the building, carrying a 12-pack of chilled Luca Mist under one arm and a steaming mug of tea in the other hand.

"Thank you," Lulu said. "Bring them here, please." The young man obeyed, setting the case and the mug on the table before quickly leaving.

"Thanks," Rikku said quietly, leaning forward to take the tea. Beers were passed out to Lulu, Belgemine, Leblanc and Maechen.

Cid refused. "No," he said, his tone still unfocused.

Rikku looked up at him, surprised. "Pops?" she questioned. "You mean it?"

He nodded. "Yes," he replied. "There's never been a better time."

Everybody was silent again for a few minutes. The only sound to penetrate the air was the hiss of opening beer bottles and Rikku's constant sniffling.

"I talked with Tromell a few days ago," Cid suddenly blurted out. "After the swearing-in ceremony. He asked me when the memorial for Braska was." He paused, gathering his words as he heard Yuna stifle a sob. "I thought we should have it soon . . . in the next week or so." He waited for replies.

Leblanc was the first. "Where?" she asked.

"Well . . ." Cid trailed off. "I was thinking the Courthouse Lawn. I know the SIA's Full Circle Garden is bigger, but . . . given everything . . ."

It was determined, both by Cid and Belgemine, that the rest of Spira could not know the full truth about how Braska had been killed. Though it killed them both, they told the half truth: that he had been killed in a terrorist attack upon the SIA along with Kinoc, the Director himself. Both of them were unwilling to risk the inevitable panic that might have ensued had the people been told that this attack, and the one on the Stadium, were the work of the former SIA director. Unfortunately, this also required all of them to speak in equally glowing terms of Kinoc, as a fallen hero and a crusader for change. Cid was letting Belgemine handle the PR end of it. He had his hands full.

Kinoc was right. They had to lie to win.

"I agree," Lulu said. "Braska had faith in the system. But he challenged it at the same time. The Courthouse should do nicely."

"Yeah."

There was another moment of silence before Wakka piped up. "Is anybody angry about this whole thing besides me?" he asked. "I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I'm just really pissed off, ya?"

"For sure," Lulu said. "Especially since the bastard killed himself. I would have loved to have saved him the trouble." Cid nodded especially vigorously. Rikku and Yuna remained motionless.

"Well, Auron did the honors," Wakka said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Wasted that motherfucker."

"I thought he was coming," Leblanc said, checking her silver watch and looking behind her at the entrance to the office.

"So did we," Wakka replied. He shrugged. "I guess he couldn't make it."

"He could have," Rikku said. "If all of us could, he could have too. Beanie."

Wakka smiled as Rikku's cold stifled her insult. "I'll call him later and see what's up," he said. "He does drive that Corvette around, even in this weather. Maybe he finally slid off the road." He chuckled, but quickly stopped when he saw that nobody else was sharing in the lighthearted moment. "Sorry," he muttered.

Lulu decided to get them back on track. "What's going to frustrate me the most is the fact that I will never fully understand what happened," she said. "I just can't wrap my mind around it. Nothing like this has ever happened before."

"And we were all right there," Leblanc said. "I still have a hard time even getting my mind to accept it. It's surreal, loves. But we all saw it happen. All of it."

"Not all of it," Yuna muttered. They all snapped up as she spoke. "You didn't see all of it. Nobody saw . . . saw all of it."

While Leblanc, Wakka and Maechen looked very uncomfortable, Yuna, Rikku, Cid and Lulu were all silently agreeing with that statement for different reasons. Cid nodded, remembering his earliest encounters with Braska, and how the man had shown him a new and better life away from the war-torn island of Bikanel. Lulu nodded, remembering how her zealous quest for justice led her to employ unforgivable methods at Cometia in order to get Seymour to confess. Rikku nodded, remembering how a chance trip to a bar for a few drinks forced her to trade one horror (Tony) for another (Paine). Thankfully, while the memories came flooding back, she had a cold that she could blame her cracking voice and watery eyes on.

Yuna began to cry softly, remembering the few short times she spent with Tidus, and how absolutely wonderful they were. She remembered his discomfort with the fancy restaurant, and cheering him on at his last blitz game, and the first time they had slept together . . . and what that had meant for her. It was so much more than sex. It was living. And it was the first time she had ever been able to stand up to her father's overprotectiveness.

That brought with it an invasive thought.

"I don't care. Goodbye."

'Oh Yevon, was that the last thing I said to Father?'

"I can only imagine how many people are going to show up at the memorial," Leblanc said, hunting for a change of subject. "There won't be a square inch of snow left to stand on in that park."

"I'll probably shut down the entire city," Cid said quietly. "Close all businesses, all offices, everything. Some will gripe, but they can all fuck off." He looked up. "Leblanc . . . I don't know what strings you can pull, but . . . if SINN is going to have any part in this, they need to talk to either me or Yuna first. This needs to be tactful and low-key. If they step one toe out of line, I'll kick their ass straight out of this city."

Leblanc looked at him, slightly nonplused. "I'm on a leave of absence, love," she said. "My producer put me on one as soon as he found out I was in the SIA. Dona's filling in for me. But I'll speak with her and tell her exactly that."

"Do," was all Cid said in reply.

"Pops." Rikku said, looking at her father. "Don't worry about it."

"Huh?"

Rikku sighed impatiently. "Let the bedia say what they want," she said. "You shouldn't care."

"I don't care. Goodbye."

Yuna abruptly stood up from her chair, her face buried in her hands. The others looked up at her, startled. When she pulled her hands away, her cheeks were glistening with newfallen tears. She began to shake her head.

"I have to go," she stammered. "T-thanks." Before anybody could say anything, she bolted from the room.

By this point, it didn't matter to her who was watching. She ran down the hall until she came to the elevator, jabbing at the down button until the elevator doors opened. She pressed the button for the ground floor. As soon as the doors closed, she slid to the ground and let out a piercing wail. For her father, for Tidus, for everything she said and didn't say, for everything she did and didn't do. There just was never enough time! Her last words to Braska repeated themselves over and over again in her mind, echoing and reverberating, beating her conscience to a bloody pulp until all she felt was the grief and the guilt.

"I'm sorry, Father!" she shouted to the elevator walls. "I'm so so sorry!"

She got up just in time for the elevator to admit her into the front lobby of the building, attracting the attention of several people around her as she ran from the elevator, blinded by her tears. She didn't care. Oh Yevon, what would Cid and Rikku think of her if they knew what she had last said to Braska? There was just no way she could stand to be in that room with all those people when they thought she was deserving of their comfort. A person in right mind who knew the situation would tell her that, at the time, she was just angry about the circumstances of her and her father's last conversation, that she felt like her privacy was being invaded, and not that she flat out didn't care.

In retrospect, Yuna would agree that that was true. At the moment, however, she didn't see it that way.

She ran out of the building, fumbling in her jeans pocket for the key to her Rolls Royce. All she wanted to do at that point was to turn on the engine, run the heater and cry until she couldn't anymore.

"Yuna."

Auron was outside and moving to enter the building when she almost knocked him off his feet in her hurry to leave. She was intent on running straight past him, but Auron recovered quickly and caught her in his arms as she ran by. She struggled in his grip, but he held on to her with little effort.

"Let me go!"

"Where?"

"Just let me go!"

"Come with me."

"No! Let me go!"

She was about ready to give a particularly violent heave to free herself, but something stopped her. What was the alternative? Returning to the Governor's Mansion, once her home and sanctuary and now just a mausoleum for her father and all the memories associated with him? Where everybody would act awkwardly around her, unsure of what to say or do? What good was that?

She stopped struggling, burying her face into Auron's warm red overcoat, resigning herself to the emotion. In between sobs, she told him everything that was going through her mind. She told him of her regret for saying what she said to her father, the fact that that was the last time she had spoken to him, the fact that she didn't want to go back to the Mansion, the fact that she didn't feel deserving of the others' time, the fact that she wasn't even sure what she was crying about sometimes, and so much more that she couldn't remember consciously feeling. She told him everything she couldn't say to her family. The entire time she spoke, he said nothing. He listened silently, holding her close. They stood there for what had to have been at least ten minutes in the frigid cold, but neither of them noticed.

"I-I'm sorry," she hiccupped. "I don't even k-know what to cry about anymore. Father, Tidus, everything . . . I'm j-just sick of crying. I'm s-sick of feeling t-this way."

"It helps to talk," Auron said. "Do you feel better?"

"N-no."

Auron grunted, then chuckled softly. "You will. In the meantime, if you need a place to get away, my apartment's free. It's . . . a little emptier than I would like it to be."

"Are . . . are y-you sure?"

"More than."

She sniffed, pulling her face out of Auron's overcoat long enough to blow her nose. "Okay."

"Yuna!"

Auron looked up, and saw Cid, Rikku and Maechen standing underneath the awning shielding the entrance to the building. They were all looking at her with concern.

"She's all right," Auron said. "But she's going to come with me."

"Pardon me sir, but who are you?" Maechen asked protectively.

Wakka answered the question. "He's a good friend of mine," he said. "Tidus lived with him, ya? He's cool."

Maechen nodded. "Oh, I see," he said. "My apologies."

"We'll call later," Auron replied. Wakka looked as though he was about to ask a question, but Auron silenced him with a look.

"Yunie?" Rikku piped up, hesitantly, just before she sneezed violently.

At this, a small smile materialized on Yuna's face. "I'll be all right," she said, sighing and wiping her swollen eyes. "I'm feeling a little better now. I just need some time away. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay. Hang in there Yunie," Rikku said. She, Wakka, and Maechen went around the corner to their respective cars, disappearing from view.

Auron turned to her. "Shall we?"

A few minutes later, Auron and Yuna were in the corvette, the heat was blasting and they were driving away from the District Attorney's Office. The radio was tuned in to SINN, Dona's direct and blatant voice seeming so distant.

". . . ongoing investigation into the attack on the SIA building in Zanarkand. We ask that you please remain calm as this crisis is dealt with. The Diplomatic Alliance of Spiran Cities, under the interim leadership of Rin, of Home, is launching a full investigation into the Spiran Intelligence Agency. Since these extraordinary circumstances have resulted in no DASC representation of Zanarkand and therefore no formal Chairman, the council has had to convene under emergency sessions. There has been no comment from Rin or the DASC as to who is responsible for the death of Wen Kinoc and the multiple explosions in the severely-damaged building, but he has hinted at the notion of Yevonite terrorists loyal to Seymour. At this point, it is all speculation, and he is reported to be considering other possibilities, including internal sabotage.

"A number of prominent people are under investigation, including Belgemine, the Deputy Director, Cid, the Deputy Mayor of Zanarkand who was injured under mysterious circumstances that same morning, and Lulu, Zanarkand's district attorney, whose star had been on an unstoppable ascension into the power structure surrounding Zanarkand. Sources close to SINN have reported that she has a meeting with O'aka at the time of the attacks. As most of you are aware, he was found dead yesterday, though the cause of death has yet to be released.

"This just in: another dormant explosive device has been discovered inside the SIA. Like the previous one, it appears to have been set with intent to detonate, but something caused it to fail . . . bomb disposal squads have been combing the building since the afternoon of the attack, when it was reported that there were still bombs inside that had failed to go off. This makes the second one found by the authorities . . ."

Yuna reached over and twisted the volume dial so that the radio was effectively silenced. Auron appeared not to mind. As they stopped at a red light, Auron reached in the back, feeling around for something on the floor. After a minute or so of groping behind her seat, his hand came back clutching a small box.

"I was in Tidus's room today," he said, "going through his things. I found this on his bedside table. He wanted you to have it."

He dropped the box in her lap, gunning the engine as the light turned green. Yuna, both curious and scared at what she would find inside the box, slowly pried the lid off of it. Inside, in between some jewelry box lining, was a silver necklace. It took her a minute to place it, but she eventually did: the piece around the chain was the symbol for the Zanarkand Abes. There was a note in the box as well.

For the best damn fan a blitz player could ask for.

Auron looked over at her and saw the necklace glinting in her hand. "Hmm," he said. "I never saw him without that necklace on."

"Oh no," she whispered as she dropped the pedant and little scrap of paper back into the box and closed it, feeling her eyes well up. "I'm going to cry again."

By this time, they had reached 78th Street, and they got out of the car and ascended the front steps of the apartment building until they got to 202. Auron opened the door for her, and they stepped inside. The old radiator was rattling away in the living room, and it was surprisingly warm downstairs. The man took off his trench coat and hung it on the peg next to the door, which he closed and locked.

"Sit," he ordered gently.

She obeyed, sitting down on the couch. "Tidus brought me back here," she said quietly, staring at the threadbare cushion next to her. "After our date. We sat here and talked. Right here."

He grunted. "What about?"

Yuna was silent for a moment, thinking back to that night. "We talked about . . . well, personal stuff," she said. "It's hard to explain, really."

Auron sat down next to her. "I hardly ever saw him." He grunted again. "You, at least, got him to talk to somebody."

Yuna looked up at him. "Pardon?"

"My friend Jecht was his father," Auron explained. "They didn't get along. Jecht was a very poor father. It's a long story . . ." Auron said, trailing off and looking up at the stairs. "I suppose Tidus and I weren't much better."

"Why?"

Auron sighed, turning his gaze back to Yuna. His face was grim and full of regret. "I suppose we never gave each other the chance," he said. "Though that's more my fault than his." He shook his head. "When his father died, he made me promise to protect him. Because he couldn't and didn't. And I said that I would. And now . . ." He looked hard at Yuna. "I can do nothing but move on."

"You couldn't have known," Yuna said. "It wasn't your fault."

"It was," Auron said. "It is. And that's that. It's fortunate that you two got acquainted though . . . for both your sakes, I can tell."

"Hmm?"

"You were right for each other."

Yuna began to tear up again, but she stubbornly wiped them away, shaking her head. "Tell me, Auron," she said. "Tell me about him."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything," she said. "Tell me his story."

~~~~~ ZFC 3.4 ~~~~~

In the end, it was Auron who helped me the most. I don't blame the others for trying, but I think I just needed somebody to talk to who wasn't part of my family. We were all grieving for Father, all of us except for Auron. Somebody who was also grieving, but not for entirely the same reason. After he brought me back to his apartment, he and I stayed up late into the night, talking for hours and hours. I have a feeling that was the most he's ever said at one time (and even then, it still wasn't much!). He told me everything that came to his mind about Tidus, and even a few things about himself too.

I won't retell everything, but it certainly made dealing with Tidus's death a lot easier. And in talking about it, I realized quite a few things myself. I hadn't known Tidus for very long at all, not even a month. I guess we were reaching out to each other for different reasons . . . Auron told me about how Tidus used to move from girl to girl before he met me. He was apparently really into alcohol too. This surprised me a lot. Other than the one night we went out on our date, he didn't drink in front of me at all . . . though I'm not sure that it would have mattered to me at the time. I doubt it would have. I was certain that I was in love with him.

At least, that's what I felt at the time. I guess what this all comes down to is that, as much as I wanted to believe otherwise, I didn't really know him that well. Even now, I can't say with certainty that we would have stayed together . . . I would like to believe that we would have. It's all about give and take, after all. And I don't mind compromising . . . but I'm getting off track.

Anyway, I went through a battle with myself for some weeks afterward about my true feelings toward all of this. I look at myself, and I think about who I am. And I wonder why I would have been attracted to somebody who was so radically different from me in nearly every way. He was impulsive where I was used to being cautious and methodical. I respected my elders and authority. He didn't. He lived for the thrill of the moment, and things were always structured in my life. We were from two different classes, two different backgrounds. We were so different. Do opposites attract for that one very simple reason? Or, I guess the better question is whether or not opposites stay attracted.

I still don't know.

I felt guilty because, deep down, I knew that the main reason I wanted to be with him was because I viewed him as a way out of my painfully structured life. However, it wasn't the only reason. Truth be told, I hadn't really had much contact with boys before everything happened with the Stadium and the SIA. What I told him the night we had sex was true: we shared similar pain.

What a horrible reason to be in a relationship.

But he was so nice to me too, in a goofy kind of way. He didn't reference to title, status, or anything; I was just Yuna. He was normal. Well . . . as normal as a professional athlete could be. But that was another thing; he really didn't boast about it all that much. Well, to me, anyway. I've heard quite the opposite from both Auron and Wakka. Auron told me too that Tidus had gotten into blitzball almost solely so he could show his dad up, when he was still alive. Was it possible to loathe your father so? I had no idea.

Ahh, look at me. I'm rambling!

Auron let me stay at the apartment as long as I wanted, which I was grateful for beyond measure. The next week was one of the most difficult in my life . . . we had the public and private burials for Father, and the day after that, Auron buried Tidus. As much as I felt comfortable talking to Auron, I just couldn't talk to him about the funerals. I knew they were coming up and that I would be a wreck, but I just didn't know what to say. He was dealing with it in his own way, and I was not going to interfere, both for his sake and mine. I allowed myself to be on my own.

~~~~~ ZFC 3.4 ~~~~~

_
Zanarkand, Courthouse Lawn.
13:57.
Saturday, December 28.

Yuna dabbed a handkerchief to her eyes, shivering violently underneath her blanket and four layers of clothes. The ceremony was about to begin. She gulped, feeling the dryness in her throat, a result of the cold, nerves, and her crying. In her gloved and shaking hands, a single piece of paper slowly jerked back and forth, her speech painstakingly crafted on it. She looked around her, at the small row of bleachers that had been hastily set up and brought into the park. The seat had only just begun to warm up in the frigid weather. The sun was behind overcast clouds, but thankfully, it wasn't snowing and there was no wind, so it could have been worse.

She kept her eyes trained on the ground, where she saw a solitary blade of dead grass poking through the sheet of ice that had formed on the ground from compacted snow. She fixed her gaze on it; better she stare at this than the mass of people that had amassed in the park. It was one of the aspects of this ceremony that she wasn't sure how to handle . . . it really was overwhelming. On this day, one of the coldest in Zanarkand to date at more than 20 degrees below zero, more than a million people had crammed themselves shoulder to shoulder to pay their respects to their fallen mayor (SINN would later report that nearly half a million more people crowded Yevon Avenue as Braska's hearse slowly rolled by). Like her, many came with handkerchiefs or tissues.

Rikku turned to her, smiling reassuringly. "You'll be great."

"Yeah . . ." was all Yuna said. She wasn't sure if she meant it or not. A look at Rikku, who looked absolutely awful, caused her some concern. "Are you okay? You're over your cold, right?" The small talk helped to distract her.

Rikku shrugged. "Nightmares." She turned away, wrapping herself tighter in her blanket.

Yuna looked to her left, just in time to see Cid rise. "Yuna," he said, "it's time."

She rose with him. As those in the front of the crowd noticed, they too looked in the direction Cid was. Like a wave, the entire crowd was eventually looking behind them, watching in complete silence as a white hearse slowly crept up the street toward them. A large flag, emblazoned with Zanarkand's crest, trembled slightly as the car slowly proceeded. Bagpipes wailed, seemingly in the distance, playing the anthem of the city, which, in an instance of horrid irony, was called, "Someday the Dream Will End." It was a surreal and majestic song intertwined with sadness and longing, meant to signify that Zanarkand, built on the northernmost point in Spira, was literally the End.

Of course, the song meant something else today.

Over the next couple of minutes, the hearse completed its journey to the Courthouse Lawn, stopping in front of an enormous table that was lined with roses of every imaginable color. The timing was perfect so that, the instant the hearse inched to a stop, the last quavering note of the anthem hung like stubborn smoke in the chill afternoon air. The musicians lowered their bagpipes. Yuna, who didn't realize she'd been holding her breath, gasped for air as discreetly as she could. In her peripheral vision, she could see Rikku turn to look at her, but she ignored it.

And slowly, the brilliant white coffin was ushered out of the back of the hearse, carried carefully by the pallbearers to the center of the decorated table. The coffin was secured and the few flowers that had been knocked askew were put back in their proper place. The air was completely still now. It was the calmest day Yuna could remember; she would swear that if snow were to gently fall to the ground, she would hear it.

All across Spira, the world watched. At Cid's behest, SINN and all the other major news networks around the world were present, but only as a lens. There was no commentary, no famous anchors like Leblanc (she was sitting a few rows behind Yuna with her own handkerchief) in front of the camera. Even in Bevelle, a city still rapt in riots, people turned their attention to the City of the Far North.

"I don't really know what I can tell you that will make this any easier . . ."

Cid was at the podium. Heavens, had she really been so preoccupied that she hadn't even noticed him going up to address the city? She shook her head, trying to physically throw the thoughts from her mind. Her eyes again cast their gaze over the throng of her fellow citizens. Now, she could hear sniffling.

Dammit, them too?

". . . I knew Braska's commitment to serving as the great Mayor of this . . . f-fine city . . . excuse me . . ."

Was there not a single person here who was happy to celebrate his life instead of sad to mourn his death? It was getting on her nerves. Why were they so sad anyway? All they had lost was comfort, a politician who simply made them feel safe. There was no personal connection for them. So why were they so sad? Suddenly, though, the irritation was gone. How could she expect others to be happy for her father's life when she herself wasn't feeling that way?

". . . to me, he was also . . . also a friend a-and a-a-a mentor . . ."

'It's okay, Yuna. It's okay. It will all be over soon.'

". . . and now . . . now . . . we must press on. We must see . . . see his vision through. He will live on through his legacy . . ."

The entire Diplomatic Alliance of Spiran Cities was seated right behind her. She felt a hand on her shoulder, looking behind her. She saw Rin, the mayor of Home, looking at her with a sad, yet very warm expression on his face. It helped, ever so slightly. She turned up a corner of her mouth and clasped his hand, and he squeezed back. She saw Shelinda dabbing at her face with a tissue to his right. At the same time, Rin withdrew his hand and focused his attention back on his new colleague, Cid.

". . . as your mayor, and his . . . f-friend . . . I will see to it that . . . Zanarkand becomes the great City that Never Sleeps once again. Thank you."

Suddenly, Yuna went numb. He was finished, which meant it was her turn at the podium. Cid sat back down, completely expressionless, eyes wet. Yuna put a hand on his back and slowly moved it back and forth to comfort him. It helped a little, and he pulled her into a sloppy one-arm hug. She saw tears cloud her vision, which was perhaps a good thing. It obscured the faces of all of the mourning people. She was afraid that, if she looked at even one person who was crying, that it would set her off as well and she wouldn't be able to finish.

On shaking legs, she slowly rose. Praying thanks to Yevon for preventing her from buckling under the weight of the nerves and grief she felt, she took her first tentative steps toward the podium. It seemed to take forever, as if the podium would drift backward every time she took a step toward it. After what seemed like hours, she was standing at the podium that would carry her voice to every corner in Spira. In front of what seemed to her to be the entire city of Zanarkand.

In front of her father.

She felt faint, her vision blurred not from tears, but from dizziness. She looked down, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes as tightly as she possibly could. After several more similar deep breaths, she opened her eyes again, wishing this entire scene away. Wishing it a dream, an alternate universe in which all she saw were her worst nightmares. At least she could wake up from those. No such luck this time.

"Yunie. You can do it."

The voice was faint, almost a whisper. She looked up. Rikku was standing next to her at the podium.

"Go on. Tell them about Uncle Braska."

And she would.

Nodding, she folded up her speech and handed it to Rikku, who accepted it with a slightly confused expression.

Yuna exhaled deeply, saying her first sentence with her eyes closed. "Father was a communicator," she began, her voice cracking already. Cursing herself inwardly, she cleared her throat and continued. "I had prepared a speech for you today, but . . . I don't think it's appropriate. I know he . . . was truly comfortable when he spoke from the heart. So that's what I want to do with you today." She paused to quell the surge of emotion she felt forming into a lump in her throat. "It's kind of difficult for me to have faith right now," she began slowly, folding her hands together and resting them on the podium. "Part of my family, a part of my life that I hold dearest, is gone." Now she was going. She couldn't stop. "Even now, surrounded by friends and family and all of you who were kind enough to come out here . . . I just I feel so alone. Perhaps . . . some of you understand."

Rikku was still standing next to her, gaze fixed on the crowd. She could faintly hear sniffling, noses being blown, and even crying. Either Yuna couldn't hear it, or she was managing to ignore it somehow. She looked at Yuna, who was staring at her hands, as though contemplating what to say next. Suddenly, both were momentarily distracted by a new guest: snow. The white flakes had begun to fall gently from the sky. Snow was, by now, a slightly irritating sight for most in the city. However, for both Yuna and Rikku, it was strangely comforting.

Yuna looked up again. "I have nothing profound to say," she continued. "I apologize. I wish I did. But . . ." she paused, finally looking at the crowd of faces staring back at her, listening intently to her very word. "I do know something. We've all been through so much. It's hard to go through it thinking that we're alone. I know I said that I felt alone. But . . . we're not." She nodded, turning to her cousin and smiling as a single tear streaked down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly, turning back to the crowd. "We're not alone. We have each other. I'm getting through it . . . and so I will. I'm here to mourn with you. I'm here to repent . . . and to listen."

She took two steps back from the podium, bowed slightly to the crowd, and took her seat. Rikku followed her, sitting down in her own chair. There was silence for quite a few seconds. Nobody else came forward to speak. A flash of confusion crossed Yuna's mind, but it was soon gone after there was noise. It was clapping, clapping coming directly behind her. She looked behind her, and her eyes beheld something she never thought she'd ever see in her lifetime.

Slowly, the DASC representative from Home rose from his spot, clapping slowly, deliberately, loudly. Soon, more clapping could be heard nearby. Tromell had joined in. For a little while, it was just the two of them, Rin and Tromell, enemies in state, staring fiercely at Yuna with an expression of pride that she would never be able to describe. It was in their eyes, in the way they looked at her. They never looked at each other. They never had to. They knew that, despite the horrible circumstances that led them to this one moment, honoring Yuna's father this way was somehow appropriate.

And then, the entire DASC was on its feet, clapping: Barthello, Nooj, Tromell, Jyscal, Rin, Shelinda, and Baralai. The clapping soon spread to the rest of the bleachers, and Yuna could see another few faces she recognized: Lulu, Belgemine, Wakka and Auron, sitting next to each other, clapping. She, Rikku, Cid and Maechen were still looking at them with their mouths slightly agape. They weren't quite sure how to react yet.

But before she knew it, the tearful crowd had joined in as well. Applause spread like wildfire throughout the Lawn. Soon, there wasn't a soul in the streets that wasn't clapping.

The roar was deafening. The ovation, they would say, was heard around the world.

~~~~~ ZFC 3.4 ~~~~~

"Hello?"

"Hey Yunie, it's me!"

"Oh, Riks! How are you?"

"I'm pretty good. Just kickin' it with Wakka."

"How are things?"

". . . Really great."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah! I just called 'cause wanted to tell you something, is all. I was just wondering how much to say."

"Hmm?"

"Well . . ."

"Did something happen?"

"No, no! Nothing bad! Wakka and me, we just . . . we slept together last night."

"Really?"

"It was . . . not at all like I thought it would be."

"Were you able to make it all the way through the night?"

"For the most part, yeah."

"That's a really big step, Rikku!"

"Thanks, Yunie. He's out at the store right now. I offered to go with him and he said no, 'cause really wanted me to just stay here and rest. I think he wanted some time to himself to think about stuff."

"He's sweet to you, isn't he?"

"Yeah. I don't see him as much as I want to, but he's the Chief of Police now. So he's gone a lot."

"Is he still going with you to your sessions?"

"Yep. He always makes time for those. We finished our last scheduled one today."

"You're finished? Oh, Riks, that's great! So–"

"Well . . . kinda, but I asked if I could see her for another two weeks."

"What? Why? You're okay, right?"

"Don't worry, Yunie, I'm fine. It's just that we've been talking about Paine for a while, and I don't think I've finished yet."

"What's on your mind?"

"Well . . . it's just that I wanna know why she was so protective of me. I've been thinking about it a lot, and . . . well, I never really could understand why she kept saving my life. She didn't give a hoot about anyone else."

"Riks, if I can ask, why do you care? You just said it yourself. She killed a lot of people when you were with her. I remember you telling me during that interview with Leblanc, remember? What about that nice man who stopped to help you when you wrecked her car? Not only that, she tried to have you kill Seymour! That was horrible!"

"So why did she stop Tony? Why did she protect me in the SIA?"

". . ."

"Yeah. That's what I don't know either. And before I'm done with this whole counseling thing, I might as well try and figure it out, ya know?"

"Rikku, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Is a part of you . . . sad that she died?"

". . ."

"Riks?"

"I don't really know. That's one of the things I still need to figure out. I mean, she was a horrible person, but . . . gee Yunie, it's hard to explain! I mean, like I said, she saved me from Tony."

"Yeah, you're right."

"I guess I wish she had just disappeared instead. Does that sound weird? It's not so much that I wanted her to die . . . I just didn't want to see her ever again."

"I see."

"That's why I wanted to go see the counselor a couple more times. I don't really know how to feel about this, you know?"

"Yeah."

". . . Yeah."

"So, overall, are you doing well?"

"Well . . . yeah, Yunie. I almost feel like I'm back to normal. But I'm still not going anywhere alone, especially at night. I'll get there, Yunie. But hey, you're coming up for a few weeks this winter, right?"

"I'd love to, but it really depends on the weather. I don't want to be stuck there for two months because the airport's snowed in."

"Ha-ha, yeah, I know, right? That was insane last year!"

"It was. Wait, aren't you coming to Luca to see me?"

"Yeah, in a week or so! Pops is flying me out."

"How is he doing?"

"Good, for the most part. The stress is getting to him a little more as each day goes by . . . but he's still sober."

"Oh Rikku, that's wonderful!"

"Yeah. I hope he can hang on, but . . . I dunno. I mean, I totally support him and stuff, but . . . I know him too well, ya know? If he goes back, it wouldn't surprise me. I don't think his finding out about what happened to me helped any."

"I know that really got to him. When did you tell him?"

"A long time ago, actually. Right before the interview we did together."

"And I found out during the interview . . . wow. That was a long time ago. But, now . . ."

"Now? Well, he's slowly getting used to being Mayor. He still misses Uncle Braska really bad, but he's not moping around anymore. I think that working helps him a lot. There's, like, no time to be sad, you know?"

"I know. I miss them both, Riks."

"Yeah. Me too. But I'm spending a lot of time with him too. We've gotten closer too. We talk a lot more."

"I bet he's happy about that."

"We both are. It's really neat."

"Gosh, I can't wait to see you. Oh! Oh! I almost forgot to tell you!"

"What?"

"I did it. I got it!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Oh, Yunie, that's so cooooool! I can't wait to see it!"

"Well, it's not that pretty right now. My body's rejecting the ink a bit."

"I bet it looks really neat though."

"It does. They did a good job. But it's so sore. Thank Yevon the weather's nice enough I can wear a skirt."

"But it's totally worth it, right?"

"Oh yes, absolutely."

"Awesome. Oop, Wakka's back. I gotta help him put stuff away. Talk to you later Yunie!"

"Oh, ha-ha, all right. Say hello for me, won't you?"

"Sure thing. Bye bye!"

"See you later, Riks."

That was neat! Rikku just called me! I was just thinking about her too! I love it when things like that happen. I haven't talked to her in awhile. She sounds like she's doing a lot better. It's neat to hear her sound more and more like her old self, before the Stadium and the SIA. I never would have thought that she could end up with a man like Wakka. It's really quite cute. She'd kill me if she found out that's how I thought about it, but what can I say? I'm such a girl. In fact, I didn't even know they were serious until a few months ago. I had assumed it was just a really close friendship, but I guess, even then, I was so wrapped up in moving on from my own catastrophes that I really didn't give it much thought.

But Yevon, I can't even comprehend everything she went through! If I had half the bravery and resolve that she did, I'd be much better for it. First, Seymour almost kills her at that meeting. Then she's trapped with me in the Stadium. Then she gets raped. Then she's that Paine woman's captive. Then she has to climb the SIA, not knowing whether or not her father is alive. All in three weeks! I wouldn't be the same person if all that happened to me, and in some ways, I don't think she'll ever be the same either. Not that I blame her.

I remember thinking back to when she, Tidus and I were all in Wakka's apartment and she was telling us about her time with Paine. I'm surprised now that I didn't fit two and two together. I guess I just couldn't believe it. It was right in front of me, but I just couldn't. I mean, Yevon! Why else would her jeans have been torn like that? And how else could she have gotten mixed up with somebody like Paine? I don't know . . . she's far stronger than I could ever hope to be. She doesn't have to try, either. And this in the face of everything beginning to deteriorate again. Even the sense of unity following Father's death has begun to wane. Spira is sort of settling back into its ways before Zanarkand was attacked. Rikku remains the one person who, I think, has permanently changed for the better. Defying all the odds. I guess her personality is just that way.

I can't wait for her to come and see me. Oh, I guess I forgot to mention that! I'm living in Luca now, not Zanarkand. For a while, anyway. I know I'll return eventually, but in the meantime, I just had to get away. I have to understand and get used to the memories, and that seems easier to me if I can keep them at some sort of physical distance. Luca seemed like the best choice. I had only been here a few times before, and I loved every minute of each visit. Soon after Tidus's burial, I called Shelinda and asked if she might be able to get me pointed in the right direction as far as living here. Not only did she do that, she took care of everything else as well, and got me a two-story house right here on the beach! I tried to refuse, but she wouldn't hear of it. So now I'm stuck with two floors of space I don't know what to do with!

Rikku, Cid and Maechen were sad to see me go, but they understood. Maechen promised me he would keep my room nice and spotless, and that it would be waiting for me when I returned (that is, if I came back while Cid was still in office). Rikku promised to come and see me as often as she could, and she has. Even though I'm half a world away, I see her often. It's really wonderful. I talk to Cid regularly as well, but I've only seen him once since I left. In fact, Rikku's really the only one I've seen a lot.

A few months ago, I got a call from Leblanc too. She was producing a news special about everything that had happened in Zanarkand as far as the attacks were concerned. The special was centered entirely around interviews. She had already gotten interviews from Belgemine, Lulu and Wakka, but she wanted to devote most of the special to the personal side of what happened. She had called Rikku as well and asked that we come to the studio and have an on-air, impromptu chat about everything that had happened.

I was a little hesitant to accept her offer. I was only just getting my feet underneath me in Luca. I had a new job, and I was writing a new chapter in my life. I wasn't sure if I was ready to return to Zanarkand that soon. But then I remembered how long it had been since I'd seen everybody back in Zanarkand. They would call occasionally too, even Auron and Lulu. I missed them all too. Even if the interview was a no-go, I could spend time with them. That made the choice relatively easy. Besides . . . there was one other thing I wanted to do when I was there.

~~~~~ ZFC 3.4 ~~~~~

_
Zanarkand, SINN HQ.
16:51.
Thursday, April 17.

"We're back in sixty seconds!"

Leblanc nodded. "Thanks!" she called, turning to Yuna and Rikku. "You're doing great, loves," she said. "This is exactly what I'm looking for."

The door to their studio room suddenly opened, and Maechen poked his head in. "Lady Yuna?"

She looked up. "Yes?"

"There were a couple of phone calls for you while you were on the air," he replied. "Lulu called to wish you well, and so did Auron. Auron wants to meet up with you later."

"Oh no," Yuna said, her face turning grim. "I can't. I have to run a personal errand, and then I'm off to the airport. My flight leaves at nine-thirty."

"All right, I'll call him back and tell him," he replied, ducking out of the room.

Leblanc had been watching the two, silent the entire time, but took this opportunity to cut in. "We're almost done here, so you should be back to the airport with plenty of time to spare."

"It's okay. I'm not too worried," Yuna said.

Leblanc's producer shouted again. "We're back in five! Four! Three!" The camera lights burned bright once again as the man held up two fingers, then one, and then pointed at Leblanc.

Viewers watching across the world saw the well-decorated room that they were broadcasting from return to view. The room looked sort of like a library office. Bookshelves lined the walls of the room around them. Leblanc, wearing a red skirt and black heels, was sitting on a crimson couch that was at a right angle to the one Rikku and Yuna occupied. Tall plants framed each couch nicely, and candles were arranged on every tabletop around them. The setting was lit almost entirely by the candlelight. In between them, a small table with three steaming mugs of tea completed the arrangement. There was only one window, but it offered a wonderful view of a city that was in the middle of thawing out from one of the worst winters in history. The sun was still rather high in the sky.

"Welcome back, Loves. I'm here now with Yuna and Rikku, two daughters of a historical mayoral administration here in Zanarkand. For the last hour, we've been asking about their opinions and perspective regarding all that has happened between the Stadium Attack all those months ago, and now, when things seem like they're finally beginning to settle down. I believe we left off with you, Yuna. It's been a while since you've been here, so you've told us. What do you notice that's different?"

"Well, for one . . ." Yuna started. "It's sunny." The three of them shared a healthy chuckle. "But, I suppose . . . well, I just flew in today, so I don't know what kind of answer I can give you. I know that they finished repairing the SIA a while back. Belgemine's in charge now."

"What do you think of that?" Leblanc asked.

"I know and trust her. She'll do a wonderful job."

"Pops knows her too," Rikku added. "He agrees. The two of them are really working well together."

"You do know that the DASC recently declared that she, Lulu and Cid were in no way involved with the terrorist attacks on the Stadium and the SIA," Leblanc said. "Were either of you expecting the DASC to find something different?"

Both Rikku and Yuna shook their heads. "We've both gotten an opportunity to know Lulu and Belgemine, both as professionals and as people," Yuna said. "Their integrity is much too high to be compromised by the demands of a man like Seymour."

"And who is this new Deputy Director that Belgemine appointed?" Leblanc said. "I've never heard of him."

"Oh, Auron?" Rikku asked. "We really don't know that much about him either."

"So, I have to ask, then, how wise it was for Belgemine to appoint a totally unknown SIA agent to the number two position for the entire agency. I asked my sources here at SINN to try and find anything on this guy, but he was so deep undercover for the agency that nobody knows anything about what he did. Can we possibly trust a man with a top-secret past like this?"

"Well, we kinda have to now," Rikku said. "Yuna knows him too. She's said good things about him, so that's good enough for me, anyway."

"Leblanc, people have to understand that now isn't a good time to start becoming suspicious of everybody," Yuna said. "It's true, I do know Auron. I knew him before he became Deputy Director. He's brilliant and principled. So let's give him a chance."

Leblanc nodded. "Fair enough," she said.

"Oh, I also heard that they finished rebuilding the Stadium today," Rikku chipped in, providing a smooth change of subject. "I know the Goers were here for the ceremony."

"They were indeed," Leblanc replied. "Do you remember the day their team captain went on the air and publicly announced that they were dedicating their game to the Abes?"

"Yes. I started crying again," Yuna said, laughing. "I'd been doing a lot of that at the time. And when the captain said that they were doing it to honor Tidus and the fortitude of Zanarkand and its team, I had to turn it off." She smiled to herself, remembering. Her face turned grim. Rikku reached over and patted her leg. Then, Yuna's face brightened a bit. "Then, the Goers won. I really didn't know how to feel about that." She laughed a little, and the other two women smiled.

"I'm glad you brought that up," Leblanc said, gently pressing the interview forward. "Yuna, there have been rumors floating around that you were involved with that poor Tidus boy who was killed on the same night as your father, the one who had been playing his first season with the Abes. Would you care to shed some light on that?"

Leblanc, of course, already knew the answer to that question. Yuna looked at her, startled all the same. Of all the things she had expected Leblanc to bring up, it wasn't this.

"Well, um . . ." she trailed off. "I knew him, but not for very long. We had . . .well, all right. Yes, we were seeing each other."

Leblanc bounced on her couch delightedly. "Oh, how wonderful!"

"It was," Yuna said, slightly pointedly.

The anchorwoman took the hint. "Sorry, love," she said. "I suppose I was just intrigued. I covered him a while back, just after he'd been drafted to the Abes. He was still in high school, wasn't he?"

"Yes," Yuna replied. "He was in his last year."

"I remember my friend Dona interviewing him," Leblanc continued. "She told me that he really was quite something. A real charmer. And cocky too."

Yuna smiled, nodding. "He was certainly both of those," she said. "Like I said earlier, I didn't really know him all that well. We only started seeing each other after the Stadium Attack. We were both trapped inside after the missiles hit. Rikku too." She looked at her cousin, who nodded.

"Did you want to talk about that at all?" Leblanc asked.

"It's funny," Rikku said. "Compared to some of the other things that happened to us, that really wasn't all that scary."

"No, you're right," Yuna agreed.

"I mean, yeah, it was terrifying, but it wasn't a total loss," Rikku continued. "It would be too depressing to look at any other way."

"You know, that whole 'Out of anything bad comes some good' sort of thing," Yuna added.

"Absolutely. I mean, all three of us were in the Spiran Intelligence Agency when it was bombed. We all saw what happened. It was truly a horrible ordeal. And there were several other people there with us. Wakka, the newly-appointed Police Chief . . . Lulu, the new Deputy Mayor of this fine city . . . wait a minute, wasn't Tidus there as well?" Leblanc asked. "In the SIA. Come to think of it, I never stopped wondering why he was there, along with you two. Can you tell me, or not?"

Yuna looked questioningly at Rikku. Explaining why Tidus had been there would be entering a gray area of truthiness. There was no way they could tell the entire truth. Leblanc had made that clear: the three of them could reveal nothing about Kinoc's involvement in the terrorist attacks. As far as they knew, Seymour was posthumously responsible for the whole affair. Yuna was just about to turn back to Leblanc and say that they would rather not tell, but Rikku beat her to the punch.

"They were looking for me, actually," she said. "The media didn't report it for a while because of everything that was happening at the time with Seymour's assassination, but I had been missing for a few days."

"Really?" Leblanc asked, genuinely interested. She hadn't heard this part of the story before. Yuna also turned to her cousin, her eyebrows raised. What was she going to say?

"I got into a little trouble . . ." Rikku continued slowly, trying to phrase her words in the manner she preferred. "I'm not going to tell you on the air. I don't want people nosing into my private life that much, you know?"

"Rikku?" Yuna was looking at her questioningly. "Do I know anything about what you're talking about?"

Her cousin shook her head. "I'm not talking about it on TV," she said firmly. "Uh-uh."

". . . Okay." Leblanc looked at her lap, slightly awkwardly, before turning her gaze back to her two guests, her expression unusually somber. "I have one last question, Yuna. You just said that 'out of anything bad, we can find something good', or something of that measure. Do you firmly believe that?"

"Absolutely," Yuna replied, nodding.

"Okay," Leblanc said. "I'm not trying to catch you in a 'gotcha' moment or make you feel uncomfortable, but it begs a question. Many of us are still trying to come to terms with your father's death, even though it is more than fair to say that we weren't as close with him as you two." Yuna tensed. She didn't like where this was going. "It's been tough for so many of us, especially in Zanarkand, to accept what has happened and move on. So . . . Yuna. Do you see anything good coming out of what happened to Braska?"

The question stunned Yuna enough to cause her mind to go totally blank. It was a very tough question, and she understood the reasoning behind it. She had only thought about her father's death as though from a distance since leaving Zanarkand, but since returning today, the memories came back. They weren't nearly as bad as they were at the end of December, but she still felt the pain behind them. She still could not forgive herself for her last words to her father, and that was something she was slowly realizing that she would never be able to forgive herself for. Perhaps it was that memory, more than the others, that caused her to leave. Running away? She wondered about that too for quite some time. But she knew, somehow, that she would not be gone forever. She would eventually return to Zanarkand.

"Leblanc, I . . ." Yuna said. "I'm not really sure how to answer that question."

"Try, love," the anchorwoman said gently. "What you say might help people."

She thought back to those horribly dark, whirlwind days. It seemed like a horrible alternate universe. Finding something positive out of any of that death, destruction, grief, confusion, chaos, and uncertainty was like searching for a needle in a house-sized haystack.

"Honestly, Leblanc, I hadn't really thought about looking for anything good from it," Yuna said. "I guess it was the only thing I knew for certain. 'My father and my boyfriend are dead. I should be sad, and only sad. Not optimistic.' But, I suppose . . ." she trailed off. "Wow, this is really difficult . . ."

Leblanc withdrew a small pouch of tissues from inside her jacket and passed them to Yuna, who had begun to tear up. Rikku scooted closer to her cousin and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. Yuna smiled, dabbing at her eyes before clearing her throat, sniffing discreetly, and putting the tissue down.

"I'm sorry," she said. "It's difficult to do . . ."

"I know, love, I know," Leblanc said, nodding sympathetically. She slackened her insistence. "If you don't want to answer the question, you don't have to."

"No, I should," Yuna replied, shaking her head. "It would help me too. Uh . . . well, I suppose that our friendship is one thing." She gestured to Leblanc and Rikku. "If we hadn't been in the SIA together, I wouldn't be talking to you now."

She paused, thinking. Leblanc noticed her producer signaling that they were about out of time, but she waved him off, inviting Yuna to continue.

"In terms of the city . . . I remember flashes of reality," Yuna continued. "Reality, as in what was going on around me. It wasn't my reality. My reality was far different, and one I wouldn't wish upon anybody else. But people were saying that they were worried that, if just the SIA had been attacked, there would have been mass panic. I suppose . . . well, 'distracted' is such a horrible word to use in this sense. Rikku, help me, please. Do you know what I'm getting at?"

"Yeah, I think so," Rikku replied. "'Refocused?'"

"Something like that," Yuna nodded. "Thanks, Riks. I guess what I'm saying is that . . . that Father's death was what people focused on more, rather than the fear of having the SIA attacked just three weeks after the Stadium. People were too sad to be angry. And besides that, at the funeral . . . remember when Rin and Tromell stood up to clap for him?"

"Oh Yevon, yes," Leblanc said. "I cried my eyes out after that."

"I think a lot of people did," Yuna said. "If there is one, just one, solitary thing that I think is better because of all that's happened, it's that Spira is a little more peaceful now. For the first time, Bevelle is getting along with Luca and Zanarkand, and Tromell's actually going to sit down to start a dialogue with Rin. I know there are still many problems between them, and who knows? It might not last, even though I hope it does. And honestly . . . if Father were still alive, I don't see any of that happening. I really wish . . . I wish he didn't have to die in order for it to happen. But I knew that he would gladly give his own life to see Bevelle and Home sit down and at least attempt to work out even a few of their differences. He just . . . cared that much."

"It's rare," Rikku said, rescuing her cousin so that she could dab at her eyes again. "He brought Pops and me from Home about ten years ago. He more or less told us what Yuna told you and your viewers right now. That was enough for Pops. Braska was his closest friend, and they worked great together. Pops is passionate, but he has a wild temper. Uncle Braska was very level-headed. But they both shared the same hopes for Zanarkand and Spira. Yunie's right. Uncle Braska would be so happy if he could see where we are now."

Leblanc was silent as they talked, listening intently. Even her producer had stopped worrying about cutting into the next block of air time.

"It's a very healthy way of looking at it," Leblanc said quietly. "We are all indebted to the sacrifices your family has made, Rikku and Yuna. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me, and especially you, love." She fixed her gaze on Yuna. "I know you have a long flight."

"My pleasure," Yuna said, leaning across the table to hug Leblanc.

"Yeah, it was fun!" Rikku agreed, embracing the anchorwoman when Yuna let go.

Leblanc turned to the camera. "We'll be back tomorrow. Remember, these interviews will be included I'm producing about the Zanarkand Terror Attacks of November twenty-fourth and December tenth. Look for it in about four months, on the eighteenth of August. Thanks for tuning into this special SINN broadcast. Goodnight, loves."

~~~~~ ZFC 3.4 ~~~~~

_
Zanarkand, Zaon Point Cemetery.
17:39.
Thursday, April 17.

Her car crept to a halt, having finally arrived at her destination. She parked the rental car and got out, clutching a small package in her hand that had been sent to her from Lulu. A subsequent phone call to the Deputy Mayor told her what was in the bubble-wrapped manila envelope. Yuna had a hunch that her first thought on the contents was right, and the call confirmed it. To her slight surprise, she knew exactly what she wanted to do with it.

She had to mind her steps on the compacted snow that had turned into a solid sheet of ice, now that the temperatures were consistently above freezing. There was still about a foot of old snow on the ground, freezing to the touch. Thankfully, her walk to Tidus's gravestone was short. A blitzball had been carved above his name, age and date of birth and death. The headstone was solid marble, and resembled a pointy tower. The details were carved into one side of the headstone, and an assortment of long-dead flowers formed a base around the top of the headstone.

She tore open the package and fished around inside for its contents, producing a small black cassette tape. Bending over slightly, she placed the tape gently against the headstone at the same time one of her tears splashed against the marble. She stood there, motionless, for more than five minutes. Only her eyelids moved, to blink saltiness out of her blurred vision. Finally, she kissed her fingers, and touched them to his name on the headstone.

The truth could die with them.

She didn't say anything. She didn't need to. She walked away, one of her steps causing the tape to slide a little until it came to rest again, nestled against the dead flowers.

~~~~~ ZFC 3.4 ~~~~~

I don't really know what compelled me to leave the tape at Tidus's grave. I know he'd mentioned a couple times how much he hated Kinoc and anything else that had anything to do with the SIA. I thought about putting it with Father's tombstone, but I couldn't bring myself to visit it yet (I will when I go back again. I'm making myself). At the same time, I knew I couldn't keep the tape. So, if I could bury those unpleasant memories with ones that make me happy, then the happy memories will triumph over the bad ones. Something like that. Even now, I'm slightly unclear why I was so sure that's what I wanted to do. Strangely, this time, I think I was right.

I think about where I am now . . . I think about what I've lost, what's changed in my life, where I'm at, and what I hope to achieve in the future. What happened in Zanarkand brought me to the other side of the world. Before, I would have been terrified to make such a risky, impulsive decision like this. I mean, I moved to a place with no friends, family, or foundation, and expected to make it on my own! I was pretty isolated and sheltered in the days before the Attacks. However, in the days afterward, packing up and leaving seemed minuscule compared to everything else. I think Tidus helped me with that.

I'm very happy I made the move though. It's gorgeous here. The weather's always warm and it's always pleasant. It's the middle of the rainy season, but it doesn't seem to dampen people's spirits any. People here are so friendly, even the few of those who don't know who I am. They always say hello to me when they see me outside my house or when I'm on the street. A few have even sent me gifts, just letting me know that they're thinking of me. I don't know who any of them are, but they're all so wonderful. Even now, after this much time has passed, they still remember.

I don't forget either. As long as the memories are still this fresh in my mind, I know I can't return there yet. As I said, I know I'll go back eventually but for now . . . no. My home is in Luca. However, I do plan to visit soon. And I know what I want to do while I'm there too! I want to walk Yevon Avenue, go clubbing with Rikku, talk politics with Cid, and sit and chitchat with Maechen. The nostalgia makes me a bit homesick despite myself, ha-ha. Maechen still says my room is waiting for me when I return, and I certainly believe it. If I know him, that room doesn't have a speck of dust anywhere in it!

Except this time, when I go back, I'm going to do things differently. This time, I'm going to drag Rikku along so we can catch a blitz game or two.

"Er-hem."

_
Luca, the Boardwalk.
20:02.
Monday, August 18.

Yuna looked up, and beamed when she saw a man standing on the opposite side of her small table. He wore a red trench coat, and his salt-and-pepper hair shone slightly in the brilliant tropical sun. His trademark sunglasses were snug on the bridge of his nose. He looked much older. New wrinkles had appeared on his face. She imagined that the eye behind the lens of his sunglasses was tired.

"Auron!" Yuna exclaimed happily, quickly getting up from the table. "It's so good to see you!"

The older man smiled. "You too," he said. "You look much better than the last time I saw you."

"I feel better," Yuna replied. "A new home was just what I needed."

"I know what that's like," Auron agreed. "Some years ago, I was a globe-hopper. Never in one place for long." He studied her. "Will you return soon?" he asked, referring to Zanarkand.

Yuna shook her head. "No," she said slowly. "I need more time. But don't worry: I'll be back for good someday." Suddenly, she remembered something she wanted to tell him. She was going to get a kick out of this. "Can I show you something?"

Auron nodded. "Sure."

She got up from the table and walked over to him, and lifted up the edge of her skirt so that Auron and anybody else walking by caught a full view of her entire right leg. His eyebrows rose when he saw what she was doing, and they arched even further when he saw a tattoo of the Zanarkand Abes Blitzball Team symbol, identical to the one on the necklace that Auron had given her all those months ago. It spanned the entire length of her thigh and the upper edges of the crest even wrapped around her leg slightly so that it looked like some kind of sheath.

Auron didn't like tattoos at all, but he tried his hardest to hide that fact. "Can I ask what prompted such a decision?" he asked evenly.

Yuna dropped her skirt and moved opposite Auron, sitting down again. "Well, it was Rikku's idea. I really wanted to wear that necklace that Tidus gave me, but I'm so afraid of losing it. So when Rikku suggested a tattoo, I thought, 'why not'. This was as good a compromise as any. It doesn't show in public, but it helps me remember him. And it reminds me of Zanarkand."

Auron grunted. "Hmm," he said. Then, he lit up a little and chuckled. "I know Tidus would appreciate it," he said, his lips turning up into a smile.

Yuna blushed a little. "Thank you," she said.

"Before I forget: your interview is being released tomorrow in the second part of Leblanc's documentary," Auron said, changing the subject. "It's on SINN at six p.m. local time. She called it Zanarkand, Full Circle. The first segment's actually on right now."

Yuna nodded, smiling. "Okay, I'll be sure to catch it," she said.

In an ironic case of timing, the TV sitting outside the store closest to her suddenly got turned up, apparently airing part of Leblanc's documentary. The anchorwoman was interviewing Lulu, Zanarkand's youngest Deputy Mayor in its history.

"So ultimately, who was responsible for the attack on the SIA?"

"Ultimately? The same man responsible for the Stadium Attack, the former mayor of Bevelle, Seymour Guado. The forces loyal to him apparently received an independent mission order that was to be delivered in the event of his death. He was head of a rebel faction of extremist Yevonites, a group dedicated to a more traditional, regressed rule under the Holy Word of Yevon, rather than machina and laws. Their attacks were geared toward their final cause, which was to end Al Bhed dominance in Spira, as well as their sympathizers. I suppose Seymour didn't feel the need to waste any time killing his way up the chain. I'd imagine he thought it best to go after Kinoc and Braska as early as possible, while the world was still off-guard. The Stadium Attack was just a . . ."

The TV was turned down again.

Yuna focused her attention away from the TV and turned to Auron, who was studying her. "Seymour wasn't just Kinoc's scapegoat," he proclaimed, a bitter smile on his face. "He served the agency well in death too. The SIA is lucky. It's a good thing the Spiran people are so willing to believe what they're told."

Yuna scrutinized the man. "You honestly don't believe that."

He grunted, but had to fight back a smirk. "I suppose I have to," was all he said.

"I . . . see," Yuna replied hesitantly, before deciding to let the matter rest. "So, knowing what you know now . . . do you think we'll be okay? In the long run?"

Auron sighed heavily. "The best answer is that it's hard to say," he said. "However . . ." He trailed off, watching shoppers pass by on the boardwalk. "Peace lasts only as long as the people feel safe," he said after a moment. "And that's never been forever." Yuna's face fell slightly. "But it's also true that with new people in power, people willing to learn from the mistakes of history, that there's a better chance it will last a little longer. There's a small measure of comfort in that, isn't there?"

Yuna thought about it for a moment before beginning to nod her head slowly. "There is," she agreed, smiling softly.

Auron nodded, as if approving of that answer. He twisted in his chair slightly to observe the people on the beach for a moment before he turned back to Yuna. "How are you doing?"

Yuna laughed lightly. "It's amazing, really," she said. "I think I'm just beginning to feel like a completely different person. Like I said, the time away was just what I needed. I found this journal yesterday too," she paused to hold up the journal, "and I actually began to write in it today."

Auron nodded as she spoke. He grunted again. "Excellent," he said.

"And how are you?" Yuna looked at him, concern briefly flashing across her face as she further studied his tired features.

The man was silent for a very long while. There was no doubt in Yuna's mind that they were both thinking about Tidus. "It's been a long time since anybody asked me that," he said slowly. Yuna looked sadly at him. But then he chuckled, looking up at her. "I'm doing well." Even with the sunglasses on, she could tell he was being as sincere as he'd ever been. "Excuse me a moment." He got up from the table and quickly strode away.

Yuna followed his gaze. "I'm glad," she said quietly.

She watched him as he walked down the beachfront boardwalk, alone with her thoughts and the sound of the ocean waves crashing onshore once again. She smiled, watching as a group of young boys played tag in the surf. Birds called to each other overhead, a few occasionally swooping down to invade one of several evening picnics on the beach. Couples strolled by, holding hands. Occasionally she would see people running along the beach, weaving in between the children playing their games and the picnickers settling down for a relaxing evening meal.

Smiling, she turned back to her journal.

I think I'm finished writing for now. My good friend Auron has shown up, and I'm going to have dinner with him before he flies back tonight.

So it seems like things are back to the way they used to be. Well . . . not completely, but that makes sense, I suppose. And it's alright. I'm determined to enjoy life for what it has to offer, wherever it takes me. For the most part though, Zanarkand really has come Full Circle.

Eventually, so will I.

And so it ends.

I know that Yuna went from sad to happy in the span of just this chapter, and that can seem a bit awkward, but again, I didn't really know how else to tell it. I think it would have been anticlimactic to drag out everything important that would happen in that eight-month span.

Now, if you're interested, I'm going to ramble a bit about my thoughts on certain aspects of the story, and what I was trying to do with it. You're welcome to ignore this and leave, or skip to the closing comments at the bottom.

I'll keep it short.

For the most part, I accomplished what I wanted to with this. It's funny - I remember how when I first started this, it was just a wild hair. I never imagined it would develop into what it did or that I would be so interested in seeing it through to a finish. Trust me, that rarely happens with me. I think it's neat to go back to the first chapter, reading it over and realizing that I wrote it 3 1/2 years ago, when I just turned 16. Now that I'm almost 20, it's finally finished. It's rather humbling, I must say.

The American movie Crash also deserves special mention. The movie served as a huge inspiration for my style of storytelling. As you may have noticed, Zanarkand, Full Circle was rather convoluted and jumped around a lot. As a result, this story wasn't really a single story until the very end, when the climax required that the characters all had to interact with one another. Prior to that, it was really several separate stories in the same universe, each inadvertently affecting the rest in subtle ways. And all the while, it begged the question sometimes: "what does he/she have to do with all that is going on?"

Events happen, and the characters had to prepare, assess and react accordingly. I wanted it to be a character study in addition to a thriller. I wanted you to love some characters, hate others, and constantly wonder about the rest. I wanted this story to be as much about people as I did about thrills. Interactions, chance meetings and occurrences . . . these events, however insignificant at the time, may mean everything in the future. Some of the characters knew that, most didn't. How would they interact when they ran across each other? What were they like alone? With people they knew? Could they become somebody else, or just be themselves? Would they lie or tell the truth? Avoid confrontation or address it? This and a medley of many other questions were the basis for this story.

In addition, I wanted this story to be about current events as well as fiction. The terrorism theme was pretty obvious. As were the ethics of torture. As were the roots of organized religion. As was the idea of pure evil and pure good. I wanted to make you uncomfortable, to question what you believe, to agree or disagree with what you're reading, and what a character says or does. An anonymous reviewer some months ago noticed some inspiration from the American invasion of Iraq, and this completely turned them off of the story. Even if he/she didn't agree with the tone or theme of the story, it was noticed at least, and appreciated for that alone.

There are some flaws to the story that I'm not happy with, most notably that it takes way too long for something to develop in the beginning. I used that primarily for character introduction and development. I guess that characters are what the first part of the story is about, but I think I was a bit long-winded. So if that crossed your mind as a criticism, I agree with you. :)

Now let's talk about personalities. For the most part, I left the original personalities of the characters from FFX/X-2 intact. A few others, I modified or expanded upon, like Paine and Tidus. I drew on other characters for inspiration in developing their personalities.

My characterization of Tidus comes from a guy I know personally. Tidus in this story is much more an asshole than the person I based him on, who is a terrific athlete and the most random person I know.

Auron remained the same for the most part, but I drew slightly off of Solid Snake in the Metal Gear series, and Sam Fisher in the Splinter Cell series to a larger degree, primarily due to his occupation in this story.

Paine was inspired by Tom Cruise's performance of Vincent in the 2004 movie Collateral, one of my all-time favorite movies.

Lulu was another hybrid of her original self and a little part of me (hey, I know myself better than most ;)). She is by no means a direct representation of me, but in the story, she defines herself around what she accomplishes and achieves, which is what I often do as well.

I sort of went with the flow when it came to Kinoc. I wanted him to be charming, even if he was evil. I wanted him to poise questions that cause the reader to say, "Wow. I know he's the bad guy, but he's got a point." I suppose I based him on another part of myself. If I were a sociopath, Kinoc and I would be very similar.

On the whole, I think I pretty much left the rest of the characters' personalities alone. The ones mentioned above either weren't really developed at all in the original games (Kinoc) or I needed to alter for my purposes (Paine, Auron, Lulu, Tidus). Plus, if Tidus is going to be irritating, then I'm making my own version of an irritating Tidus, dammit. :D

So, it's over. And I'm happy and sad at the same time. Happy that I'm finally finished after so many months of nearly-constant Writer's Block, and sad for the exact same reason.

But that's enough of my needless yammering. What did you think? DROP ME A REVIEW! Did you like the story? And if so, what about it did you like? I like details. That way, I know what's good and what I'm doing right. So please, spare a few minutes and give me some of your thoughts on Zanarkand, Full Circle. And don't worry about hurting my feelings if you have a bone to pick (as long as it's constructive). As much as I love ego inflation, I love hearing constructive criticism as well. It's hard to stomach at first, but the time one puts in to critiquing and suggesting alternatives means a lot. I put a lot of work into this, and I want to know what people honestly think. (If you have nothing but praise, that of course is fine too. :D)

And . . . that is that, as they say. I have a few ideas kicking around in my head for other things, so you'll probably see me again. Until that time, or until I hear from you next, take care of yourselves. To my readers and reviewers, new and old, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

~ SirGecko ~