The Man

A/N: Every once in awhile I get one of those “Hey, that would be funny…” type of moments. This is one of them!

It was getting darker out by the minute, and Sawyer knew it would be hard to get the transceiver working in the middle of the night. But he had to get it working soon so the people on the island would be rescued.

He connected a few wires, and suddenly the screen lit up.

“Michael! Jin!” he cried, waving the rest of his group over from the other side of the raft. “Look!”

The group huddled around the small screen, anxiously watching a little green, beeping dot move in and out of their range. They lost hope when they lost view.

“Rudder,” Jin said simply.

Sawyer eyed him. “Is that all he knows how to say?”

Michael shook his head. “No.”

“Booooooat,” Jin said slowly.

Sawyer sighed, but his face suddenly lit up as the green dot came into view. “Look! It’s getting closer!”

And indeed it was. The dot was inching its way toward their tiny raft.

There was a loud buzzing, motor sound from above them. The group looked up and watched a plane fly above the raft.

“HEY!” Walt screamed, waving his arms around.

“What are you doing, son? We’re looking for a boat,” Michael said, turning back to the screen.

“But…” Walt tried.

“Zip it,” Michael demanded.

Walt stared at his father, confused.

“There’s something else!” Sawyer exclaimed, pointing at another dot that was beginning to move in on them, centimeter by centimeter.

In no time at all, a motorboat pulled up next to them. Sawyer and Michael jumped up, laughing and waving, pouring out their whole story and how thankful they were that someone had come.

The people aboard just laughed. Quite a girly laugh, actually, confusing the men.

Suddenly, the motorboat lit up with colorful lights and a man(?) came down a runway that hadn’t been noticed before, dancing.

There's a man

Who plays the game of life so well

Ooh, there's such a man

His thoughts you can never tell, ooh

And it's just the way he

Thought it would be

'Cause the day has come

I'm alive and I'm here forever

This is the man

And it's just the way she

Thought it would be

As he says, something has

Happened to me

Then he laughs, he kicks

And rolls up his sleeves

I'm alive and I'm here forever

This is the man

There's a man

Everybody thought they knew

Ooh, there's such a man

He's not like me and you, o-

Michael Jackson!” Sawyer screamed. The back-up dancers stopped and ran back into hiding where they had been for many a year. Michael Jackson just giggled and winked at Walt who made a face.

“You’re a disgrace to African-American’s!” Our Michael yelled.

“What is your name?” Michael Jackson asked.

“…Michael…” our Michael growled.

“Oh! Hello, my name-ly brother!”

There was silence.

“Anyhow,” the bleached African-American continued, examining his nails “Give us the boy.”

Our Michael grabbed his son. “What? No!”

“Daddy!” Walt cried.

“What?” Jackson said, looking up from his nails. “You just said no to me?”

“Go back to Neverland, Tinkerbell,” Sawyer grumbled.

“Boys…” Michael said, turning to a group of men that somewhat resembled Oompa Lumpas. “Fetch me that boy.”

And thus, as we all know, Walt was taken.

A/N: Wow…that must be the weirdest thing I’ve ever written.

By the way, I have nothing against African-Americans, because I am friends with them. Also, I have nothing against Oompa Lumpas or the story of Willy Wonka all together. I LOVE Willy Wonka. See the movie if you haven’t yet.

How ever, I do hate Michael Jackson, and I think that’s self-explanatory.