Author: The Violent Tomboy PM
Kagome and Kikyo are tired of being bashed, so they ask the almighty authoress if she can help out by writing a short but detailed list why some stupid authors really should just back off.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Kagome H. & Kikyou - Words: 1,203 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 4 - Published: 08-12-05 - Status: Complete - id: 2530806
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Kagome and Kikyo were in a forest, apparently very annoyed about something.
"I'm so tired of constantly getting bashed. There's not that many authors out there that actually respect me or think of me as a protagonist!" Kikyo complained.
"I know what you mean," Kagome said.
"My dear reincarnation, a WHOLE lot of people like you. If you haven't noticed, stories that pair you up with Inuyasha nearly fill up the entire section," Kikyo said testily.
"Yeah, but still, the people that don't like me really ruin my image," Kagome said dejectedly.
"Hi Kagome! Hi Kikyo!" A tall Korean girl (or Chinese according to Inuyasha), an inch or two taller than Kagome, popped out of thin air. She was now wearing a pale blue t-shirt and jeans. And her glasses of course.
"Hey, it's the authoress!" Kagome perked up. "How are you doing, The Violent Tomboy?"
"Not bad. What's up with the glum faces you two?" the fourteen year old asked.
"We don't like people that bash us too much, me especially. Not that many people like me," Kikyo said.
"I respect you Kikyo," The Violent Tomboy piped up.
"You like me?" Kikyo said in shock.
"Uh, no, I said I respect you, not like. I like Kagome better," The Violent Tomboy said a bit nervously. Kikyo sighed, mumbling something about that's better than nothing, while Kagome gave herself the victory sign.
"I know how to cheer you guys up!" the authoress said. She put her hands near her mouth and made a sound that remarkably sounded like a duck quacking. Kagome laughed, Kikyo didn't.
"That witch forgot to give me my sense of humor back when she brought me back to life," Kikyo explained.
"YOU POOR, POOR THING!" the younger girl cried out. "You'll never feel the joy from watching Comedy Central!"
"Well, I have an idea that might work," Kagome said. "Why don't you write up some reasons why people should stop bashing us? I mean, not to like us, but at least respect us enough to stop writing us as bitches."
"Hey, that's a good idea!" The Violent Tomboy exclaimed. A computer appeared in front of her and she began to type furiously. Nothing was heard for the next 45 minutes except the sounds of typing, an occasional 'are you done yet?', and 'NO!'.
"Alright, all done!" The Violent Tomboy said as she stretched out her arms. Kikyo and Kagome crowed around behind her to get a look at the screen.
Kikyo and Kagome aren't liked by some people, and that's alright. However, the reasons why they're not liked are often stupid and you write them as bitches and bash 'em. So first up:
WHY YOU PEOPLE SHOULD STOP WRITING KIKYO AS A BITCH
Reason #1 for people hating and bashing Kikyo:
She's constantly trying to drag Inuyasha off to hell.
Honestly, how many times has that happened? I mean, really, it's only happened once in the entire series, and Kikyo and Inuyasha have been together plenty of times. You people make it sound like she makes a living out of it.
Reason #2 for people hating and bashing Kikyo:
She's always making out with Inuyasha when Kagome's back is turned.
What's really disturbing is how people write that Inuyasha is 'doing it' with a zombie, and I think that no amount of love could convince him to do that. Besides, she can't feel love or warmth, so she wouldn't just jump on him. And Kikyo is always wandering around from place to place, not stalking Inuyasha and the gang, so obviously, Kikyo doesn't have the time to do that.
Reason #3 for people hating and bashing Kikyo:
She's trying to kill Kagome.
Like number 1, how many times has she attempted to kill Kagome? Only once, and don't forget, Kagome and Kikyo have been alone once and they actually worked together to help each other out.
Reason #4 for people hating and bashing Kikyo:
She stole Kagome's jewel shards and gave them to Naraku.
She's not doing to because she likes Naraku. I mean, she's made it PRETTY damn clear that she wants to kill him and purify him to hell. I find it wrong that people say that they have sex with each other, and both have declared their hatred for each other and shown nothing else. And people, what if, just what if, giving Naraku the shards were part of some elaborate scheme to finish him off? (cough) manga spoilers (cough)
Reason #5 for people hating and bashing Kikyo:
She's an evil clay bitch.
Hello people? What kind of evil clay bitch takes care of little kids and tends to soldiers' wounds? I think that's a good enough answer.
Now then, I think that's enough reasons to respect Kikyo somewhat, and now:
WHY YOU PEOPLE SHOULD STOP WRITING KAGOME AS A BITCH
Reason #1 for people hating and bashing Kagome:
She's weak and always stands in the sidelines in a battle.
Yes, I know that a lot of people like Sango since she kicks butt better, and there's nothing wrong about that. But come one, put yourself in Kagome's shoes. You're just a normal person in modern times, not a fighter, and you just get dumped in the past with demons trying to eat you. I think I'd like to sit at the sidelines. I think it's amazing that Kagome even bothered to learn how to use any weapon at all. Also, do you know where's a priestess's powers come from? Apparently, the less she thinks about a certain guy, the stronger she'll be. So apparently, Inuyasha should take it as a compliment that she's weaker than Kikyo; it proves that she loves him more.
Reason #2 for people hating and bashing Kagome:
She abuses 'sit' too much.
Inuyasha usually (more like always) deserves it for doing something stupid. It's not like she sits him just when she gets bored or something.
Reason #3 for people hating and bashing Kagome:
She's got Inuyasha, Kouga, and Houjo wrapped around her finger.
It's really simple. She just doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and she's unsure about her relationship with Inuyasha, so she's not going to just blurt out that she loves him in front of the two airheads, although it's obvious she's not interested in them that way.
"So you guys think it's okay?" the authoress asked.
"Really? The reason I'm weak is because I love Inuyasha?" Kagome was red in the face.
"Duh, it's like DAMN obvious!" the authoress rolled her eyes.
"You really think I'm not an evil clay bitch?" Kikyo asked.
"Well, clay yes, evil bitch, no."
"Alright! We won't get bashed anymore!" Kagome said happily.
"But, it's not like that many people read my work. So there's a good chance I won't stop it completely," The Violent Tomboy said.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kagome cried out.