Author's Note: Currently 10:40pm. Got school tomorrow at 9:00 am. I'm SO not gonna be up for it... have decided to change my sleeping schedule... since I absolutely cannot work till after 12:00, and sleeping everyday at 3:00am isn’t healthy for school, I’m currently going to bed daily around 5-7pm and waking up at around 3-6 am. Then work. Get to school at 8:00am – ish. Work till the bell rings at 9:00am. Working quite well, except I’m now playing video games in the morning. Christ. What am I ever gonna do with myself?

You also might notice a change in my style of writing in this chapter. I'll explain why later.

)Cherry Blossom Artist( - I know what you feel... I was really shy before... but someone I just can't stand people being bullied... when it happens, I just lose all self-control, I forget all consequences. Some see that as a good thing to be able to defend your friends... I see nothing wrong with it either... but I've been betrayed by friends before, and now I prefer to just stay on the sideline most of the time... Of course I end up losing the battle to my emotions most of the time... and don't worry, I don't think you're ranting at all... :P

)To'xx'y.( - Wow. Thank you so much. That means the world to me... to know that I was able to deliver emotions through successfully. Thank you for letting me know.

)Frosted BlossomZ( - Ah, thank you for your support... and don't worry, I think I need to be lectured once in a while… X.x

)DEVILZ CHIK( - Lol nice to know I'm not the only one... :P Actually I got really pissed of at a lot of people who were taking advantage of this really REALLY great teacher of mine... Except I couldn't yell at them since they were so bloody fuq-ing ignorant… they take advantage of my computer being nice and spends all their time playing this stupid game CS... so my friend and I crashed our school network so everyone's computer froze... I think I get devilish too often... and you're right... most likely they won’t be able to talk as they fall 'cause I've been on drop zone and hell I could hardly keep my eyes open... so unless they've been on drop zone many times and grew immune to falling it's unlikely they could carry out a conversation... I just though it would be kinda romantic that way… - Mmmmm if it's caught on Syaoran's hood that means the weight of his body will be concentrated on under his arm pit mostly because when you pull up that part gets caught first... so no, he wouldn't be hung to death... :P It'll definitely grow uncomfortable but I don't think he'll be killed from it...

)Amy Ishida( - I suppose it is a bit cheesy... but what I had in my mind that time was that Sakura was sort of living in more of a dream world that the real world... she's became almost too much a romantic...

---

Epilogue

Face it!

---

It was a miracle that Li Syaoran could be saved on that day. He screamed for all he was worth and finally, a helicopter came down and rescued him. To his surprise, the moment he stepped onto that plane, he was embraced by Chiharu. He said nothing, simply told her he was all right, and went home.

He never took a step out of his condo for two weeks straight.

He didn't cry. He didn't celebrate. He simply couldn't process without her.

The feeling, it was so alien to him. To lose someone whose love you felt you’ve denied forever, it a strange feeling indeed. He didn’t know what to feel. He didn’t know how to respond, how to react, and how to bring her back to life.

Li Syaoran only stepped out of his house two weeks later, to attend her funeral.

At her—Kinomoto Sakura, the outcast of school, daughter to dead parents, sibling to a crazy brother, and best friend to a suicidal girl—funeral, he dressed in black, with a black hood hung over his face. He sat alone at the very back. He saw Chiharu and Takashi searching for him at the front seats, yet he remained silent and said nothing. He hid from their view and avoided them. For some reason, he really did not wish to speak to anyone—even his closest friends—right now.

Many people came to the funeral, mainly because Sakura's death has become part of the media.

Chiharu, Takashi, a woman who looked like Tomoyo's mother, hundreds of classmates, and him. Because Sakura did not have any more family members left, Li Syaoran paid for the ceremony and her grave—in secret, of course. Everyone thought her grandparents did, though little did they know, her grandparents has not spoken to her family since her mother married her father.

The ceremony was short, and brief. There was nothing to be said about her. There were pain and disbelief in everyone’s heart that someone could’ve went through such a life without going insane. But her case was so rare and unusual people did not know how to respond. They each said a simple "I'll miss her", and they each went home, after laying a bouquet of white roses.

Li Syaoran once again isolated himself from the world. He did not answer phone calls, and he shut his curtains. He ignored doorbells and ate whatever he had within his home.

Why shouldn't I die? It's not as if my death would mean anything...

Oh, how wrong she was. How foolish she was. She thought she was sacrificing nobody's happiness for her own, yet she was so wrong. Had she only known she would drive the only boy she's ever loved insane... if only she could’ve seen this pitiful result. The result of her boy because of her death; maybe she would've hung on. She would’ve grabbed onto that thread of life and would have never let go.

But she was so foolish... so naïve... so depressed and blinded by the many deaths that flashed by so quickly.

Li Syaoran listened to loud rock music all day, as he stared blankly at the walls. The songs looped through and through, over and over again. They didn’t drive him mad, for he already was. They didn't annoy him because he couldn't hear them. His eyes were grey, his mind lost.

It was a feeling he never felt. It was feeling he was trying not to feel.

Unsure of how many days has passed, Li Syaoran suddenly bolted out of bed one day with the thought: Hey, I wanna visit Sakura today! That cute girl I met, life as an outcast sure is hard. Maybe I can take her out and give her a treat! Didn’t she say she had a crush on me or something...? This will surely make her day!

Then suddenly he remembered.

I'm never going to see her again... Never...

And at last, the truth sunk in. She was gone. Forever. Death isn't a video game. What's happened has happened. He'll never see her again. Never speak to her again. Never comfort her again, and never feel her again.

A tear slips down his cheek.

Never...

What a cruel word.

With great effort, he sat up and walked to his door. He wiped at his cheeks and blinked his eyes. I'm going to visit her the only way I can…

--

He looked a mess and he knew it. The florist thought he escaped from the metal hospital, and people on the street saw him and walked on the other side. But he couldn’t have cared less.

He had a goal—finally—and he won't be able to do anything else, till he achieves it.

--

Syaoran stopped in front of a grave. He laid the huge bouquet in front of her grave. Hands in his pockets, eyes staring at the grave as if Sakura sat there, he whispered, "You were so foolish, you know that? You are a romantic born in the wrong era. A believer mixed with the wrong people. A girl with dreams that weren't allowed to flourish. You're the most tragic of all cases.

"You were wrong when you thought things were going to get better. You were wrong when you thought your brother would turn over a new leaf. You were wrong when you thought Tomoyo wouldn't be affected by your brother's death. But most of all, you were wrong, when you thought no one would be affected by your death." He hung his head lower, so that his hair covered his wet cheeks.

He voice began cracking, but he kept talking. "Look at me, dammit, do I look unaffected? You thought I was Li Xiao Lang and you told me about your obsession with, well, Syaoran, me, and yet you do this to me. You told me you'd do anything for Syaoran and all you ever wished was for him to be happy and not experience pain. Well look at me, dammit, look at me! Don't turn away! Don't run away from problems! FACE IT! Look at me and tell me, do I look happy to you? You think you were so smart, so right, didn't you? Thinking if you just escaped all your problems they'd go away... Well you were wrong. So damn wrong. You just made things worse. You're making my life a living hell. God. Crazy girl. You don't bloody confess all your pains to someone then not take their advice! If you knew you wouldn't let me influence your final decision, why the hell did you pour your heart out to me? If only you didn't, if only I never met you. IF ONLY THE GODDAMN SCHOOL WASN’T SO GODDAMN SELFISHLY BLIND!

"God. Why didn't you believe me? When I told you I loved you? Why does one never question hate yet always question love? Had I said, 'Sakura, go die, I hate you!', you would've believe it without hesitations. Yet when I said ‘Sakura, I love you, don’t die!’, you denied it, called me a liar and said I was fakin' it. Why? Why do you deny love not hatred? Why do you think everyone hates you so much? Christ, and why am I saying this? Me, one of the Kings of the school, one of the people who made you and your friends' life a living hell. Christ. I'm disgusted with myself just thinking about it. Is this what you wanted? Is this your punishment for me? Huh, Sakura, huh? Me saying I'm sorry isn't enough, is it. The only punishment that's suitable for me is to have me walk around the rest of my life ashamed of myself. Is that it, huh? Is that it? Well, you're right. You're so bloody right and that's what pisses me off the most. This pain, this guilt, this lifeless life, I deserve it. For all the shit I've done in my life and shit I caused for other people. This is a suitable punishment.

"God. When I ask myself, do I love you? Love you like I want to marry you and live a life with you? Honestly, I don't know. All I know if that I can't live without you. You've affected my life too much. And I mean c'mon, there has to be some other love, other than romantic love. Other than the love that makes you want to have sex with the person or something. After all, isn't that the shallowest of all loves? If you had only listened to my advice, and stayed alive, I would've loved you forever. Maybe I'll marry somebody else, but I’ll definitely take care of you forever. You became so fragile in my eyes. I only wanted to take care of you. But of course, you denied everything. But I guess maybe you're happy now. Congratulations! Congratulations for helping me realize what happiness and love is! I suppose in some twisted way... I prefer having realized what love is after losing it, than being in love forever without ever realizing it.

"What am I saying here? I think I've gone insane!" He chuckled lowly. Droplets dripped onto the ground. "I'm a mess right now. I don't know why you affect me so. You're just so... different from everyone else... your life... it has feeling, it has a touch to it. Oh my… think I shouldn’t talk anymore... I'll be going home now Sakura... Hope you feel guilty in your 'heaven'. I hope you’re suffering with me.”

Abruptly, he turned around with quick strides. But he paused after 3 steps, and turned back around reluctantly. Softly, he said, "I... I didn't mean to blame you. I didn't mean to wish you to suffer. Don't suffer. You suffered enough here. I was just mad... please, be happy, and know that despite what you did, despite the pain you’re causing me..." He turned to face her grave fully. "Sakura, I lov—”

A soft, confident voice sudden rung. "There you are."

Surprised, Syaoran spun around quickly.

Behind rows of gravestones, came Chiharu. Dressed in a cute plaited beige skirt, black top, black boots, with a white scarf around her neck. She'd never looked so cute. "I knew I'd find you here... eventually."

Syaoran wiped at his face subconsciously, erasing all possible traces. "What if I never came?"

Confidently, she replied, "I know you better than you think, Syaoran."

She took a couple of steps till she was standing right next to him, and she bent down and laid another bouquet next to Sakura’s gravestone.

She straightened, looked at him in the eyes and tried to smile. The air was chilly and her nose was beginning to turn pink. "How are you?" She asked sincerely.

"Been better."

"Would you... like to... come to my house?"

He raised an eyebrow. "And then what?"

"I don't know... talk?"

"Puh-lease. Chiharu, I know what you mean, and everyone else in the school knows it. You're all slut and sex."

Her eye twitched. “How dare you! You of all people! You know me better than that! I am that way to control the school, it’s not my true nature!”

He didn’t deny it. Instead, he said, "Do you still want to rule the school? To continue school as the Queen?"

She chuckled sadly. "I don't think I can anymore... not after all that's happened..."

"But do you want to?"

She looked at the gravestone, and lowered her head so that her scarf covered her lips. "I don't know what I want anymore..." She chuckled again. "Takashi, you and I. The Queen and Kings of the school. Just a powerful title, yet when it really comes down to it, the only one who really knew what they wanted in life was... well, her." She gestured at the gravestone. "You’d think people like us, powerful, natural leaders, would have our lives set out, with divine goals in our mind. Yet we’re nothing. Not compared to her.”

Chiharu took a deep breath and sighed. Her breath came out in a puff of smoke. "Syaoran... I know this might not be the most appropriate time, but seeing what happened to her, knowing her regrets… I feel I must tell you something..."

He turned to look at her. The girl he thought he admired all his life. The girl he wanted all his life. Yet at that moment, he suddenly realized how shallow he was. Want. Ownership. Lust. They would never be as strong as love.

"I love you... I really, really love you..." A smile blossomed on her face, as she leaned in to kiss him.

He hesitated.

She came closer.

He made up his mind.

Smiling lightly, he put his hands on her shoulders.

He squeezed her shoulders gently.

And he pushed her away.

"You've got Takashi." Was all he said.

She looked so pained, so hurt.

"It's true Takashi and I are engaged, but we have realized that our marriage was forced. We'll still be friends. If we still love each other and want to marry each other, we'll accept the engagement. But clearly I have fallen for someone else." She frowned. "I thought you loved me... you flirted back with me in school, you let me touch you, and I saw the lust in your eyes when you saw me... I know of the many times you've fought over Takashi because of your feelings for me... so why won't you accept me? Why? Is it because... of her?!"

"Chiharu, I lusted for you. I wanted you more than I've ever wanted any woman. But I realize the foolishness of that now. Stupidity of youth. You're my friend and I'll protect you. I'll never let anything happen to you. But..." He turned away from her, and took a deep breath. "Chiharu, let me finish what I was saying to Sakura before you came."

Smiling lightly, and with a hand touching the cold gravestone, Syaoran said, "Sakura, I love you."

And Chiharu felt her heart break.

--

Later, back at home, all alone, outside of his condominium, Syaoran sat by the steps, watching the night sky. It was a cloudy night, shielding all the stars. "Well, Sakura, you were so sure I would be happier with Chiharu than you. Well, you see how wrong you are? Do you finally see? Do you finally believe me now? You had such low self-confidence, silly girl. Well, now I proved it to you, didn't I? Do you finally believe me now? Do you? I hope you do! Because, Sakura..."

He took a deep breath. "I LOVE YOU!!" The night echoed, as Syaoran laughed. He felt all sense of sanity has left him and it wasn't a bad feeling. The feeling that you no longer cared about anything in the world but that which mattered to you the most; it felt wonderful.

In the days to come, he knew he would take care of Chiharu, he would make sure she was okay, but he knew he could never love her the way she wanted him to. That didn't mean he wouldn't love her, of course.

Because of her, he felt human. No longer a spoiled brat without a trace of emotions.

Because of her, he has grown up; he was a mature young man, no longer simply a hazard to society.

Because of her, he learned to care for others.

Because of her, he finally knew what love was, and is.

All because of her.

Feeling slightly feathery and light, Syaoran walked back into his building, finally prepared to face life once more.

As he disappeared, a star in the sky twinkled.

THE END

Author's Note: I really don't know what the say. Somehow the ending didn't come out quite as I expected. I had something TOTALLY different in mind.

Anyhow, onto explaining the sudden change of style. Well, actually there is no explanation. Read “My Friend Leonard” by James Frey and you'll understand. That book touched my soul. Especially since the people were all real. That book was just raw emotions. It may seem rather long for some of you, but I guarantee it. If you'll read to the very end, it's worth every second you lost to the book.

Also, I want to thank everyone for your positive comments. I was in a major depressed mood last time at what I did... but you guys really made me feel better. It might not sound as if my psychology has improved any but I believe it has. At least I'm not scared to face that guy anymore...

Well, this is the end of Face it!. Thank you for everyone who's read it, thank you for everyone who's reviewed. It means the world to me. Thank you for being so supportive through my emotional traumas. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

As always, everyone on my author alert list will be removed. However if you'd like me to email you for Wanted or Till we Meet Again or I Dare You, you'll remain on my list.

And this time I won't upload a new story as I've got others to finish. Xx Expect a chapter for Wanted as my next update (finally). That is all. Thank you everyone so much!

Final word count:

3000 words (half of it is like A/N :P)