Enough to Walk Away

by: HulaHula

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, settings, etc. from the Harry Potter Universe. Jo Rowling does.

Tonks quietly handed Remus a steaming bowl of noodles. She sat across from him on the tattered couch, her own steaming green bowl in her hand. She had volunteered to cook for them that night. A medium package of dry noodles was all she had found on his chipped shelf.

Remus and Tonks had been blissfully inseparable since the Weasley’s wedding two weeks ago. They had decided to switch off between their homes every other night. Tonight should have been shared at Tonk’s apartment, but due to the coming full moon, their routine was disrupted.

But Tonks didn’t mind. She was relieved that Remus hadn’t forced her to leave yet, with his transformation pending. Silently, they began to munch on their supper, neither making eye contact.

Tonks had made it plain that she intended to stay as close as possible to him on this night. Eventually, Remus had given up on trying to convince her otherwise.

She peeked a glance at him from under her bright red bangs. He wasn’t eating. Instead, he was slowly pushing the noodles around inside the bowl, his brow furrowed.

Tonks lowered her fork and raised her chin. He looked haggard already, his skin pale and the rims of his eyes red. Maybe pretending that nothing is going to happen isn’t the best way to go about tonight. She mused.

With a clink, Tonks placed her half-eaten bowl on the small crooked table behind her. Leaning forward, she carefully grasped his bowl and fork, then placed them behind her as well. Remus looked up, startled from his daze.

“It’s alright.” She mumbled softly. “I’m not hungry either.”

She crawled over to his side of the cushion, and tenderly placed his clammy right hand in her lap, lightly rubbing the sore fingers.

Remus let out a frustrated sigh. Glancing out of the yellowed window behind them, he said, “I have about an hour left. When I lock myself in . . . ” He finished with a tired whisper.

He placed his other hand against her cheek. “Do not forget what I said. Please . . . ”

Something slammed against the ceiling, causing a confused Tonks to jump off the couch and fumble for her wand on the table.

She glanced around quickly, looking for the intruder. She let out a relieved sigh. She was at Remus’ flat. I must have dosed off . . . She thought through the sleepy fog of her mind.

Then she heard another great thump directly above her. Remus . . .

Quickly, she stumbled up the stairs. She quietly made her way toward the single bedroom door to press her left hand and ear to the wood. It was chilled. The wooden door had the strength of steel and the texture of oak. It seemed to hum from the many spells placed on it.

Remus had left her downstairs . . . after, once again, demanding that if she stayed, she stayed in the living room until the moon waned. She had not heard a sound from him since he had walked up the creaking stairs.

But what harm can listening for him at the door cause?

Straining for any sound, Tonks held her breath. But the room was absolutely silent. Frowning, she straightened her neck and placed her heels back to the floor.

Remus should be making some noise . . . unless he placed a silencing charm on the door! She gasped. She felt anger roll up in her chest. She would have never known if he was injured, or worse, with a silencing charm on the door.

Raising her wand, she performed a counter-curse on the door.

Instantly, a confusion of several different sounds filled the dark hall - each of them more horrifying than the last. It almost sounded as if two creatures were contained in the room. Fighting, snarling, one ripping the other to shreds. Growls, followed by whimpers, issued from the cracks below the door over and over again. Then something large would slam the left wall, only to be thrown to the other.

Tonks stood frozen, hand over mouth, wide eyes staring at the door, her wand still raised in her trembling right hand. She stood like this, in shock, for several terrible moments before her knees gave out. Her knee length satin gown rode up to her hips as she shakily crawled to the door.

Once again she placed her left hand on the wood. A small blue jeweled ring now occupied her third finger. Although Remus had been hard pressed for money many times - He had never been able to part with his mother’s ring.

A harsh sob rushed forward as Tonks gave into her anguish. This was why she was to stay downstairs. Because he had known his pain would echo in her if she heard.

Why? Her mind pleaded. If only he had let me buy the potion . . .

They had their first fight over the potion. Wolfsbane is very pricey. He said he had been going without for it months . . .

“But, there is no reason for you to go without it now!” Tonks said furiously.

“Tonks, I’ve had my final say on the matter.”

“I don’t give a hoot about your ‘final say’! I will not see you suffer. Especially if it can be avoided.” She argued, waving her hand to emphasize. “If you’d just let me go down and pay– ”

“No!” He finally raised his voice. “Forget it Tonks.”

Her cheeks flushed as she stood her ground, arms crossed. Sighing, Remus walked up to her, folding his arms around her.

“We need to save the money. If we are going to get our own place . . . ” He trailed off, nuzzling her cheek. Tonks uncrossed her arms – once again, he had won.

And now she regretted her retreat more than ever.

After what felt like eternity, the thundering noises quieted down to a soft whimper coming from just behind the door. Tonks curled her legs to her chest, and rested her upper body against the door. Slowly, her raging mind calmed. Her lashes fluttered until her eyes finally closed.

Tonks giggled softly. Someone was tickling her fingertips. She smiled dreamily, and blinking twice.

With a gasp, she reared up. Her right cheek was red from where it had been resting on the hard floor. She felt a fierce pain flare up her spine at her sudden movement. She must have slid down the door, knees still curled, to dose in a very uncomfortable position. She turned her neck, to stretch the sore muscles. The window at the end of the hall was still dark, with only a peek of the luminous moon showing through.

Once again, something flicked at her fingers. Realizing what was panting just beyond the door - the door her fingertips had slid under - Tonks gave a startled yelp, and scrambled to her feet. She quickly lost her balance and landed on her shoulder against the opposite wall. She winced.

Slowly, Tonks found her footing, never taking her eyes off the crack at the bottom of the door. Her wand was still lying useless on the floor where she had been sleeping. She moved one bare foot forward, while readjusting her fallen shoulder strap.

Without thinking, she whispered, “Remus . . . ?”

Silently, she padded back to the door. The wolf had been licking her fingers. Pressing her ear back to the wood, she heard a soft whimper. “Remus!” She cried, grabbing the loose door knob. But it wouldn’t open. It was locked.

Tonks shook her head. Suddenly, her thoughts cleared. Of course the door was locked. Remus was behind that door – but so was a werewolf.

A memory from the day before swam before her eyes.

“No matter what – do not, under any circumstance, open that door.” Remus said, taking one of his hands off her shoulders to point at the ceiling.

“Please . . . promise me that you will do as I say.” His voice pleaded. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something should happen to you.”

Tonks slid her hand away from the knob. The wolf sounded so harmless. It had licked her hand. A friendly gesture.

She raised her hand to her temple. Another whimper sounded from the door, followed by scratching. He needed her! Her head pounded. Her heart felt as if it was being ripped into pieces.

A single tear escaped, to trail down her flushed cheek. Remus! Her heart cried.

Wolf . . . Her mind answered.

Swaying slightly, Tonks bent to retrieve her wand. The pathetic whimpers crescendoed. Remus didn’t want me up here. Her mind reminded her. Yet, it was almost physical – her need to comfort the injured creature behind the door.

Tonks’ chest slowly rose, as she took in a deep breath. Her eyes squeezed closed. She gathered her strength, her will.

“I love you . . . ” She whispered to the door, then turned to walk back down the steps . . . Enough to walk away. Her heart finished.

She remained in the living area until dawn.

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