How Harry Almost Became An Auror

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Standard Disclaimer: Harry Potter is a registered of JK Rowling, Scholastic Books, and Warner Brothers. I own nothing except the plot. No infringement is intended and no profit is being made.

Rating: K

Summary: “The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy. I thought everyone knew that. They're working from within to bring down the Ministry of Magic using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease.” (Luna Lovegood, HBP)

Author’s Note: Written for the SpoilMeHBP “Favorite HBP Quote” Fanfic Challenge. (The link is on my author’s page.) Unbetaed and potentially crappy, so feel free to point out any mistakes. Capslock!Harry makes a brief appearance.

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They were sworn to secrecy, Unbreakable Vows all around, never to reveal their true intentions beyond those printed on their recruitment flyers. Those who refused, and there were inevitably a few in every bunch, would be Obliviated and sent merrily along home, confused and seemingly traumatized by the experience. So much so that the Auror training program developed a reputation as a School of Very Hard Knocks (Almost As Hard As Hagrid's Baking).

Even so, the news of the latest Auror-reject caused quite a stir when the press got ahold of it. And who could blame them? After all, no one suspected that the Boy-Who-Lived, the Chosen One, the One-Who-Finally-Killed-Voldemort-Completely-Dead would not make the cut to become one of the Ministry's elite. Especially since his altogether average and very freckled friend, Ronald Weasley, had made it.

But, that was only because no one except the Aurors knew of the Rotfang Conspiracy. That is, no one except the Aurors and Luna Lovegood.

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It had been years now since Luna had given her well-meaninged advice that had broken the ice at an otherwise rather tense and tedious party. She wanted to be helpful, especially since she was so very pleased to have been invited to the party as a friend of the above-mentioned Auror-reject. You see, no one had ever asked her to a party as a friend before.

"I don't think you should be an Auror, Harry," Luna had said.

Then she promptly gave her reason, one that Harry would have forgotten immediately had it not caused some snorting-of-tea-up-the-nose or provided some temporary amusement and the chance to escape Snape's questioning. Now, though, as he sat across from Kingsley Shacklebolt, the new head of the Auror Division, listening to his advisor's final words before he could be inducted as an Auror, Luna's explanation was the only thing running through Harry's mind. That, and an incredulous Hermione-sounding inner voice saying, I can't believe she was right.

"You're working to bring down the Ministry of Magic?" Harry asked in a disbelieving tone, still wondering whether he had dropped into an episode of the Twilight Zone, although Harry would not have known anything about the Twilight Zone since the Dursleys had never let him watch a single episode on their telly.

"Yes, Potter," Shacklebolt answered.

"With a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease?"

"Yes. I said that already."

Kingsley Shacklebolt was starting to get impatient. This was his third time answering that question. He was trying to decide whether Harry was Auror-material (read: Rotfang-material), and it was proving to be a daunting task. His fingers twitched at his side like a trigger-happy cowboy in a country Western flick, although neither he nor Harry would have known what that was either.

Still sitting there rather dazed, Harry began to feel a little bit angry.

"DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THE AURORS HAVE BEEN LYING ALL THIS TIME? THAT ALL OF YOU HAVE BEEN HELPING VOLDEMORT!" Okay. So, obviously, Harry was more than a little bit angry.

Shacklebolt snorted. "Of course not. We didn't like that skinny, no-nosed, red-eyed bugger any more than you did," he said cheerfully, all previous impatience gone. He had made his decision.

Kingsley Shacklebolt knew that he no longer had to try to convince Harry to take that Unbreakable Vow. So what if the other Rotfang Conspirator waiting out in the hall to act as their Bonder was a little upset for being made to wait? Shacklebolt knew that Harry was just not cut out to be an Auror.

Why?

Because Aurors just shouldn't yell as much as Harry does.

"You know, Potter," Shacklebolt said to Harry's still-rather-pink face as his fingers reached for his wand. "Scrimgeour used to complain to the entire division about how you were 'Dumbledore's man through-and-through.' Well, if you supported Dumbledore that much, what's the big problem? After all, Albus was the head of the Rotfang for years."

A brief memory of Dumbledore surfaced in Harry's mind. The Headmaster, old and wise with his customary twinkle, was holding out his hand. "Would you like a Lemon Drop?" As the realization hit, Harry barely had enough time to think, I should've listened to Luna, before the Memory Charm washed over him.

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"I'm happy for you, Ron, I really am," Harry said, as he sat with his two friends in the Weasley's kitchen, looking at the headlines splashed across that morning's papers. ("One-Who-Finally-Killed-Voldemort-Completely-Dead not up-to-snuff to do any more killing" and the like.) "But I just don't understand what went wrong."

"I'm sure it's nothing you did, Harry," Hermione said reassuringly.

"Yeah, mate," Ron said, reassuring smile almost too big. "They were probably just looking for someone a bit different, that's all."

Harry sighed. "Well, I suppose I could always work for the Ministry some other way."

Ron didn't look all that happy at Harry's declaration. But, before he could reply, Hermione interrupted. She was holding up the most recent issue of The Quibbler. Luna Lovegood had taken over for her father as soon as she finished school, and she was the one who had written the cover story for that issue: "The Aurors Aren't Too Good For Harry Potter, He's Too Good For Them"; the subhead: "How Harry Refused To Become A Part Of The Rotfang Conspiracy."

And with that, Harry again felt the curious sensation that snorting-of-tea-up-the-nose illicits. He was significantly cheered up, although there was a slight niggling in the back of his mind that made him pause. But no matter. Here was Ron, giving him yet another Chocolate Frog, which Harry happily ate.

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End.