Chapter 21

Galahad made his way to Arthur’s study, only one thought in his mind. He knocked on the door roughly and waited for Arthur to call him in. When he did he stormed into the room and stood in front of where he sat by the empty fire place.

“How could you do this to Ceridwen?” Galahad said bluntly.

Arthur looked up from where he was staring into the dark grate; Galahad could see the sadness in his eyes.

“Forgive me, Guinevere is so desperate, I did not know what to say. I saw Ceridwen with Lancelot and it was the first thing I could think of. Guinevere is pushing me with all her strength to let her somehow have a child, and I do not know what to do,” Arthur explained, the sadness in his eyes deepening.

“I will not let you take a child away from my wife, just to appease Guinevere’s needs. You do not understand what she went through to have Lancelot, I will not put her through it again! If she decides to have another child it will be for my family, not yours!” Galahad yelled, his fists balled at his sides.

“Please, Galahad, I will speak with her. Will you forgive me for making such a mistake?” Arthur asked.

Galahad thought for a moment and his face softened, “Yes, I will for give you, you are a brother to me, but you must speak to Guinevere, Ceri is suffering greatly because of this.”

“Very well,” Arthur nodded and Galahad left him to find Ceri.

“He will speak to Guinevere, he is deeply sorry for asking so much of you,” Galahad reported later that night as Ceri rocked Lancelot to sleep.

“He does not understand the emotional attachment that a mother has with her unborn child,” Ceri whispered. “There is something there that Guinevere wants and will never have, even if I give her a child that I bare, she won’t have that connection, there will always be emptiness.”

Galahad wrapped his arms around his wife protectively and kissed the top of her head, “We need to make her understand that, maybe she will change her mind when she understands it.”

“Gal, I think we should leave this place, leave Guinevere to her suffering without any distractions. It is because of Lancelot that she suffers. If he were not here then maybe she would be relieved of her pain,” Ceri muttered, a tear streaking her cheek.

Galahad kissed it away and hugged her tighter, “We shall see what will happen, but tonight, let’s not think about it.”

He let go of her and walked into their bedroom, laying on the bed and closing his eyes. Ceri stood up from her place next to her son’s crib and followed. She lay next to him and rested her head on his chest, taking his hand in hers and closing her eyes.

The two fell asleep peacefully, though Ceri’s dreams were troubled as she worried about giving up a child for Guinevere.

The weeks past and Guinevere still did not speak to Ceri, which placed Ceri in an almost depressed state. Galahad had told her that she did speak with Arthur, but he did not know the outcome of the conversation.

Guinevere finally approached Ceri in the late afternoon as she was training with Bors as Lancelot played in the grass close by. Ceri had just beaten Bors in a tricky sword fight that landed her with a cut across her shoulder, but she was cheerful all the same. Guinevere tried to make herself unnoticeable and began to play in the grass with Lancelot as Ceri cleaned up her cut. Bors bowed to her in jest and motioned over her shoulder that she had company. The smile was wiped from Ceri’s face when she say Guinevere sitting with Lancelot I the grass.

“Bors, find Galahad and bring him here, please,” Ceri asked, placing her sword on the grass.

“I’ll be back with him as soon as I can,” Bors assured her, kissing her on the cheek for luck and leaving. Galahad had told him of the situation a few nights before.

Ceri approached Guinevere and Lancelot and cleared her throat, making herself known.

“Oh, Ceri, I didn’t want to interrupt your training, forgive me,” Guinevere smiled.

“No harm done, do you want something?” Ceri asked bluntly.

“I came to speak to you about our ordeal, I spoke with Arthur again, he told me you had something to say about this that you feared I would not accept. He said that he does not agree with me taking a child from you, but I want to know how you feel,” Guinevere explained.

Ceri took a deep breath and sat down in the grass with Guinevere, gathering Lancelot in her arms and kissing the top of his head, “Guin, I know you are suffering greatly about not being able to experience the birth of a child for yourself. Raising a child from another mother is not going to fill that emptiness you are feeling. A mother experiences a connection with her unborn child, one that is indescribable by words. Even if I let you raise a child I gave birth to, you would still have that emptiness, that whole were the connection would be, and you’d feel the pain of not having that connection as you are now.”

Guinevere thought about what Ceri had explained to her. She knew Ceri was right, but she wanted a child so desperatly it almost tore her to pieces. She looked at Ceri, Lancelot fussing to get out of her arms and smiled, “Ceri you are right, but I cannot just brush this aside, I must figure out a way to give Arthur an heir, I will do anything,” she pleaded.

“I had a thought,” Ceri started, letting Lancelot go and he tumbled after a butterfly, he was now in the early stages of learning how to run properly. “If I leave, with my son, maybe you will be relieved and forget this whole nightmare. Lancelot will not haunt you night and day, he will not be around to constantly remind you that you are barren.”

“Ceri no, you are not going to leave, I need you here,” Guinevere protested.

“But if I do it will all go away,” Ceri persisted, her eyes on Lancelot who was now running after his father, who had just entered the training fields.

“Ceri, I refuse to let you leave Camelot. Arthur has not told anyone but me, but the Saxons are rising once more, they are coming again and if you leave you could be killed. I won’t have that,” Guinevere insisted.

Ceri stood up and ran her fingers through her wavy black hair, she was still watching her son and his father run around laughing, “Then I will leave the castle, Galahad will stay, but Lancelot and I will move into the village, you will be happier away from us.”

“Ceri--,” Guinevere began.

“No, I have made up my mind, you are also my queen and I cannot bear to see you so unhappy. When you are unhappy Arthur is unhappy and I cannot do that to his kingdom, I will leave at once,” Ceri said, turning on her heel and grabbing her sword. She sheathed it and strode over to Luthien and mounted him. She took one last look at Guinevere and rode back up to the castle without a word to Galahad or Lancelot, who were still laughing and rolling around the field.

As soon as Ceri rode away Guinevere burst into tears, she rushed to Galahad a look of desperation on her face.

“You must do something, anything,” Guinevere cried, as she approached Galahad.

“What are you talking about?” he inquired, picking Lancelot up and resting him on his hip.

“Ceridwen, she’s leaving, she insisted she must leave for the good of Arthur’s kingdom. She is going to take Lancelot and move into the village to spare me of my pain for a child, you must do something!” Guinevere sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Galahad was nodded and bid Guinevere goodbye before making his way back to the castle to find his wife.

He found her packing her things into bags, tears streaming down her face as she packed. Galahad placed a fussing Lancelot in his crib and took the tunic Ceri was packing away form her.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, cupping his hand under Ceri’s chin and turning her to face him.

“I must,” she replied, the tears still streaming down her cheeks.

“Ceri, please, you cannot leave me here alone, I need you with me,” Galahad pleaded, pulling her into a hug and not letting her go.

She clung to him desperatly and let her tears flow without shame, “It seems like the only way, I don’t know what else to do,” she sobbed.

“If you leave I will come with you,” Galahad insisted.

“No, stay here, you are a knight you must,” Ceri cried, looking into his blue eyes.

Galahad kissed her passionately, hugging her close as she cried, “I can’t let you go, Ceri, I love you.”

“It’s the only way,” she insisted.

“I will give Arthur notice, I cannot be here alone, it will kill me,” Galahad persisted, amidst Ceri’s protests.

“Please, stay here,” Ceri started.

“No, Ceridwen I will not have it, either I come with you or you do not leave,” Galahad commanded, his temper rising.

Ceri nodded in defeat and continued packing her things. Galahad decided to make one final attempt to keep her in the castle, “Guinevere is deeply grieved. She came to me crying that she did not want you to go.”

Ceri stopped what she was doing and looked up at her husband, “Guinevere will be fine without me. I cannot stand for her to be breathing down my neck about her child problems any longer. It pains me to leave, yes, but I will not be burdened by her desires, I have my own.”

“And what would those desires be?” Galahad asked, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

Ceri closed her eyes and smiled, “You for one, happiness with my family, Lancelot being happy and not worrying about the troubles of the kingdom…”

“If you insist on leaving me here in the castle you will not have your first desire,” Galahad pointed out.

“Then advise me on what I should do?” Ceri said, not wanting Galahad to let her go.

“Let me come with you,” he whispered.

“But how will you be a knight if you don’t live in the castle?”

“I have a horse you know,” Galahad pointed out.

“Fine, you win, give Arthur notice and I will pack.”

Galahad grinned and spun Ceri around, kissing her happily before rushing from the room.

Ceri resumed packing all of their things and Lancelot began to cry from neglect. Ceri rushed to his side and picked him up and he immediately stopped crying.

“You just wanted attention, here,” she cooed, giving her son one of his wooden toys before placing him back in his crib.

Galahad returned looking pleased with himself and began to help Ceri pack his things.

“Well?” Ceri asked.

“Well what?”

“How did he react?” Ceri insisted.

“He told me it was fine, he asked me if it was the only way and I told him it was.”

“Does he want to see me?” Ceri asked slowly.

“In fact, yes he does,” Galahad smiled.

“Then I will go,” Ceri nodded and left the room, leaving Galahad to finish packing. She ran through the halls to Arthur’s study and knocked gently on the door.

“Come in,” he called.

Ceri opened the door hesitantly and found Arthur sitting by the window, Guinevere sobbing helplessly into his lap.

“Ceridwen,” he smiled, holding his arms out to her. She rushed into them and Arthur held her like he would never see her again.

Guinevere stood up and sat on the windowsill as Arthur hugged Ceri. She was still sobbing, wiping frantically at her cheeks.

When Arthur let her go Ceri stood up, her face void of any emotion. Arthur stood up as well and motioned for Guinevere to come to him. She did as she was told and strode to his side obediently.

“Ceridwen, you’ve been like a little sister to me. If you insist on leaving the castle, so be it. Galahad will still have to fulfill his duties as a knight, but he has my permission to leave the castle. I wish you luck and good health, for I will not see you very often any longer.”

“Thank you,” Ceri smiled weakly. Guinevere rushed to her and pulled her into a hug before rushing out of the room sobbing.

Arthur took Guinevere’s vacated seat on the windowsill and looked out at the gardens below, “You know, Lancelot never loved anyone more than he loved you, Ceridwen. Although he didn’t show it, he kept that necklace close at all times. I’m sure he’s proud of what you have accomplished, as well as naming your son for him.”

“Arthur, what are you saying?” Ceri asked, tears forming in her eyes at the thought of her older brother.

“Ceridwen, I will miss your cheerful presence here always. Guinevere is devastated, she sees you as more than just a woman in the castle, you are her guide, her friend, she will miss you terribly.”

“I know, but it is something I must do. I cannot hurt her because I want to raise a family, I must do this,” Ceri said, her tone final.

“I have made arrangements for an estate to be built for you, it is in progress now. You will be staying with Bors and Vanora until the estate in finished, which should be in about two month’s time,” Arthur told her.

“Thank you so much for all you’ve done Arthur, I guess this is goodbye,” Ceri shrugged. She hugged him again and left the study, returning to Galahad in their rooms.

When she walked in Galahad was rocking Lancelot to sleep. All their things were packed in trunks and he was half asleep as he pushed the crib. He looked up when Ceri entered the room and stopped rocking the crib.

“How did it go?” he asked.

“Fine, all is well,” Ceri shrugged.

Galahad stood up from where he was sitting and hugged Ceri to him. She closed her eyes and they stood there for what felt like hours. Ceri fell asleep in Galahad’s arms so he lifted her onto the bed and climbed in himself. He fell asleep soon after.

The next morning their things were placed on carts to be taken into the village ahead of them. Arthur did not appear as the y said goodbye, but Guinevere would not let Ceri go. Bors had to pry her off of her and Ceri mounted Luthien, Lancelot was in a cradle they had attached to the horse’s side. Galahad waved goodbye and they three of them rode off down the sloping lawns of the castle into the village below.

The End!