I don't own Digimon or Tenchu.

Why do they waste their time playing a stupid video game? I thought our goal was to conquer the Digital World. How is playing Tenchu supposed to help? Blackwargreymon thought as he sat on the couch, watching as Metalseadramon and Machinedramon eagerly pushed buttons on the PS2 controls. Machinedramon growled and dropped his control. Metalseadramon turned off the PS2 and cackled.

"Ha Ha! Onikage is unbeatable!"

"Enough! We should be making plans to defeat the Digidestined, but you two idiots are playing a video game!" Blackwargreymon stood up and yelled. He had just joined the Dark Masters two months ago, when Puppetmon was kicked out. He found daily life with them to be weird. Metalseadramon would occasionally ware a red mask and call himself "Suzaku, the Red Sparrow." Piedmon was the gay lover of Myotismon. Machinedramon almost never spoke.

"We will attack the Digidestined when Apocalymon says that the time is right. I want do kill them as soon as possible, but we can't disobey the boss-mon. In the meantime, why can't we play Tenchu? You ought to join in sometime." Metalseadramon replied.

"No thanks."

"You'll join us eventually, because you are just like me: a lone wolf that finds meaning only in the clash of steel against steel, right? Besides, soon you'll have nowhere else to turn."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll find out soon enough. Ah hah hah hah!"

"He's quoting Onikage from Tenchu 2," said Machinedramon.

Blackwargreymon threw his hands in the air. "I give up."

There was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Blackwargreymon asked.

"Piedmon and Myotismon." Piedmon answered.

Blackwargreymon opened the door and let them in. Piedmon had an arm wrapped around Myotismon.

Myotismon pleaded, "Tell them the good news dear one."

"We're getting married!"

"I'm very disturbed for you," commented Blackwargreymon.

Machinedramon added, "Now there are 5 of us."

"Am I still best mon, right?" Metalseadramon, um, the Red Sparrow said.

These guys are freaks! Blackwargreymon thought.

The trial of the millennium was over. (How do we know? The millennium just started!) Oikawa Yukio had been found not guilty on twenty-two counts of child molestation, twenty-one counts of kidnapping, twenty-two counts of giving alcohol to minors, and one count of inappropriate behavior with a juvenile. Oikawa emerged from the court, basking in the glory bestowed by paparazzi cameras. He stood on a car and made the piece sign. Back at his run-down apartment in a bad section of Tokyo, he uploaded Arukenimon's and Mummymon's reconfigured digieggs on his computer. He entered a program that gave them the energy to digivolve Ultimate.

"Boss?" Arukenimon asked from the computer screen.

"You've got a new assignment. I made it to the Digiworld and learned that Blackwargreymon's body no longer blocks the gate. I came back when the children betrayed me. I tried to take them to the Digiworld, gave them Jesus Juice, and we even had a sleep-over; but they tried to put me in a jail cell covered with doodoo-feces! From now on we will have to live in the Digiworld."

Mummy, just realizing what was going on, exclaimed joyfully, "My Arukenimon! Now we can finally be together!"

"AAAH! Boss, help me!"

Oikawa ignored them. He threw one arm in the air, grabbed his crotch with his other hand, and sang, "Have you seen my wishing tree? It's where I go to think and dream. We can be spacemen or pirates on the sea. Hee hee hee! Chum-on-a!"

"Hikari, did you see me in the soccer game?" Daisuke asked as they were leaving last period at school. Daisuke was so annoying couldn't he take a hint? She didn't like him! She was saved from him Yoli (I can't remember her Japanese name) ran into the classroom. Since the defeat of MaloMyotismon everyone knew about Digimon. There wasn't any need to be discrete any more, although their classmates were eager to here what was going on. The teacher didn't car about the Digidestined. He was making a phone call to get the Japanese Mafia to kill his nagging wife.

"Yoli, what's wrong?" Hikari asked.

"I've got an e-mail from Izzy. Azulongmon told him that a dark power is threatening the Digiworld, but he doesn't know what it is!"

This is where you should here ominous music in the back of your head. Have Oikawa and the Dark Masters creeped you out yet? No? There's more to come!