Author’s note: This OFU is waiting for permission from Miss Cam before being posted as an OFU. Currently, it’s an Unofficial FU.

Disclaimer: The characters and fictional places from the Gilmore Girls canon are not mine, but Amy Sherman-Palladino’s (or ASP’s). She’s making the money off of them. Not me. Any other characters are mine, unless they are the likeness of real people, in which case, everybody owns himself or herself.

Official Fanfiction Universities are the brainchild of Camilla Sandman aka Miss Cam, who started it all with OFUM, the Official Fanfiction University of MiddleEarth.

Edited on August 27, 2005: Yesterday, I heard from Miss Cam. This is now an official OFU. However, since the first two chapters were written before Miss Cam's permission was obtained, all references to them being unofficial will remain. Changes made when editing include correcting the spelling of Amy Sherman-Palladino's name and some basic grammar mistakes neither my beta-reader nor I caught the first time through.

Chapter One: SHUFU is now accepting applications

Joanne was just putting her final touches on a "Gilmore Girls" fanfic before posting and going off to bed. As soon as she clicked to submit it to something strange happened. The doorbell rang. It was as if she rang her own doorbell with the click of her mouse. Plus, it was nearly midnight and she hadn’t been expecting anyone. Immediately she began to worry. She rushed to the door and looked through the peephole.

A pimply-faced boy stood outside. He was looking around the hallway and fidgeting. Joanne locked her door with the chain and unlocked the deadbolt before opening the door just a bit.

“Hello?”

“Hi. You’re… .” The boy paused as he looked at the bundle in his hands. “You’re Joanne Edwards, also known as JoanneE, of 303 Carriage Way, Apartment 4B?”

“Yes,” she said. “What is this about?”

“Oh! I have a package for you. Coffee and some documents.”

Joanne closed her door to release the chain and opened it up again. “I don’t think I really need coffee. It’s pretty late.”

“Oh, believe me, ma’am. You need the coffee.” He set the package on the ground carefully and presented a clipboard and a pen. “I just need you to sign this.”

Package Recipient,

Please sign and date below to acknowledge that you have received your package. Once the package is signed for, it must be opened. The carrier service takes no responsibility for what may or may not happen upon opening said package.

SHUFU Carrier Service

“But you already told me it’s just coffee and documents, right?”

“As far as I know, ma’am,” said the boy, who was now tapping his foot impatiently.

Joanne signed and handed the boy his clipboard and pen. He walked away as she picked up the package. She walked to her desk and opened it.

There was a piece of paper sitting on top. It was a list of instructions.

Instructions

1. Make the coffee. If you don’t have a coffee machine, we suggest you go out and buy one. Read no further until you have made and poured yourself a mug of the coffee enclosed in this package.

Joanne wanted to read on, but for some reason she couldn’t. She felt really drowsy and couldn’t bring herself to read any farther. She lifted up the sheet of paper to find a bag of coffee labeled LG’s super-caffeinated blend. She shrugged and took the bag into the kitchen, where she waited as patiently as she could for it to brew. It smelled so good. When it was done, she poured herself a mug and took it back to her desk. She took a sip as she read instructions number two and three.

2. Fill out the application enclosed in its entirety.
3. Wait.

Wait for what? thought Joanne. She decided that the only way to find out was to fill out the application.

Name: Joanne Edwards
Age: 20
How long have you been writing Gilmore Girls fanfic? 2 years
How many Gilmore Girls fanfics have you written to date? 72
Main ship for Rory: It used to be Literati but now its totally Trory.
Main ship for Lorelai: I don’t really care about Lorelai. But L/L I suppose.
Have you ever used the townies in your fics? I use Kurt occasionally.
Favorite Gilmore Girls character: Rory
Least favorite Gilmore Girls character: A tie. Dean and Miss Pattie. I hate them.
Do you hereby relinquish your fanfiction writing privileges until you have graduated from SHUFU (Note: It’s best to say yes.): I guess. Sure. I think.

By signing and dating, you are releasing SHUFU from responsibility for any and all harm that may befall you from attending. You are also acknowledging that you understand that you will return to this room and this time once you have completed your training as a fanfic writer. You will not question this. You will not worry about all of the work/school/family functions you may be missing as you won’t be missing any of them. You are also agreeing to a confidentiality waver. You will not tell anybody that this has happened. They’ll just think you’re nuts anyway.

Joanne hesitated and then shrugged it off. What could possibly happen? she wondered. How could this weird slip of paper be legally binding in any way?

She signed the paper, all the while thinking of the new fanfic she was going to start tomorrow.

Then she waited. She waited for five minutes, but nothing happened. So she picked up her mug of coffee, walked into the kitchen, drank the remainder of the coffee, put the mug in the dishwasher, and walked back out of her kitchen….

Right into the empty dining hall in Calhoun College at Yale where Rory scans cards.

“Congratulations. You have been accepted to the Stars Hollow Unofficial Fanfiction University, commonly referred to as SHUFU. We’d like to be known as SHOFU, but what can you do? This way, please, as I show you to your dorm room,” said a mystery man, standing right beside her. He was short for a guy and was dressed rather casually for a university admissions person.

Joanne was pretty sure she had fallen asleep at the computer again.

Joanne and the mystery man walked out the door of the cafeteria onto a sound stage.

“Wait,” said Joanne. “I thought we were at Yale.”

“Yes and no. We’re only at parts of Yale. Just think of it as an Alternate Reality. Yale didn’t need these buildings so they loaned them to us. That’s not really the truth, but it’s the easiest way for the lot of you to understand.

They entered another building, but this one was not fake.

“You’ll spend most of your time between here, Richard and Emily’s house, and Stars Hollow. I don’t know how you ended up in the dining hall. We barely ever use that.”

Just as Joanne was about to open her mouth and mention that she was in her own kitchen and that’s probably why, she thought better of it. What kind of sense did that make?

Joanne recognized the building they were in. It was Rory’s dorm. She was hopeful that she’d get to live in Rory’s room, but she was led right past it and up the stairs and into another dorm room, though it did look a lot like Rory’s.

“These are your suitemates: Lavendarkitty, JavaMistress, and JoanofArithmancy. Ladies, this is JoanneE.”

Joanne looked at her suitemates. Lavendarkitty looked like she was about 14 or so. She had purple hair and was looking pretty moody even though her clothes were so bright. JavaMistress was middle-aged and looked very much like she thought she was dreaming too. JoanofArithmancy looked to be Joanne’s age and very tired.

“Okay, then,” said the man at the door. “We’ll see you all tomorrow morning.”