A Bleeding Mind

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Prelude Warble from the Berserker:

My insanity is turned inwards, so people think I'm crazy because my individualization is clearly marked, like light in darkness. I have achieved enlightenment so different, so grand that people are afraid. I have transcended to the ultimate truth that frightens them. Them- gullible, terrified gerbils the lot of them. My truth is simple. God is… there is no God. That which the gerbils cower before is an imagination, a supposition, an imposed limit, and a fence that keeps their fascination with the abyss at bay. Take out the fence, and they all jump, like moths to a flame… or in this case the absence of their supposed flame. But there is no supposed flame. Descartes said, if maybe there is no God, but a malignant goblin pretending to be one. He was wrong, it is no if, there really is no God. That is what I tell them, there is no god, that their god is but a malignant spirit deceiving them. But the gerbils shrink from me- only because deep in their cowardly guts… no, deep within their non-existent souls, they know that what I say is true- the only truth. So I seek to liberate them from this grand and despicable deception—saving them from their own cages that they themselves built. Imitating their reverence of their God and spiting him, before their very eyes so that they can see me unharmed by any vengeance of their lord. This god, who is really a malignant spirit, is in turn the creations of their tortured minds… humans are evil then if what they revere is but an image of them. But because I have realized this deception that they have tried to employ with all their persuasions to instill in my then young mind, then I am not evil. And because I am not evil, then I am not human. I am beyond them. I have stared into the abyss and it did not consume me.

I consumed the abyss.

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A/N: Okay, just like it says, this is a prelude warble. I'm testing the waters before jumping into darker fics, and this is a sort of respite from the ongoing CSM fic I have. I do hope no-one assumes that that's me speaking through Farf, so before anything I do believe in a higher being, I am a Christian, I believe my parents raised me right, and damned if I know that Descartes was wrong (or right). Plus, yes, Farf is crazy as a stoat (a nod to Terry Pratchett there, and thank you Charles Vess for showing me how a stoat looks like –that's in his graphic novel version of Neil Gaiman's Stardust) and gerbils are a kind of small furry animals (I hope), and if you think I'm trying too hard by making him a crazy intellectual, well, there's a fine line between crazy and genius. Please review so I can gauge whether this is a good idea, or it's just wrong. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

BTW, this is my first attempt at an Schwarz-centered fic. You are warned.