After the loudest of Kurt’s complaints died down, the two fangirls, namely Julia and Kaitlyn, went back to watching television. Kaitlyn wanted badly to watch “The Phantom of the Opera”, but Julia reminded her of the awkwardness that might occur if Erik heard them bubbling about his prettiness and cursing Raoul at the top of their voices. She then asked if perhaps they could watch X-Men. Though a hopeful look passed over both their faces, they soon realized that the embarrassment of the latter situation would be multiplied by a significant amount if Toad was to be seen on screen.

Their remaining choices were interrupted by a loud, angry knocking at the door. “Mom,” she said, getting up, planning to appease her mother. “It’s just the--- YEOWCH!” Kaitlyn stumbled backwards, rubbing her eyes frantically. Julia walked forward to see none other than the Vicomte de Chagny in the doorframe, followed by several other angry do-gooders.

Kaitlyn slipped on a pair of shades, glaring up at Raoul. “Damn your shiny, shiny hair! Damn it to hell!” the fopling tossed it expertly over his shoulder and glared at her in a heroic fashion. “I hear you are harboring that monster…”

“Wait-a-minute!” the curly one howled. “Who in the blazes let you in?”

“Door was open.” Said Raoul, faltering.

“So you just walked right in? How rude! And I thought you people were the protagonists!” she chided; now examining the group for the first time. Waiting for entrance to her room were Spiderman, Adam Maitland, Raoul de Chagny, Storm, Xavier, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Commodore Norrington and Harry Potter. They all looked shamefaced for a moment, turned around.

“Hey! Hold on! I thought we had a job to do here!” Adam cried petulantly. Julia sighed.

“I thought that was too easy.”

“C’mon, help me brace the door.”

“What’re you, insane? There’s a super-human, a weather-bitch, a Jedi Knight and a GHOST out there! Doors mean nothing to them! Not to mention that the Commodore probably has a pistol.”

“Good point.” She said. And as the heroes prepared to rush the door, the two fangirls simply opened it and stepped aside.

“I see that you have finally come to your senses.” Said Storm haughtily.

“Yes. Hand over the green man so we can analyze his brain meats and make him utterly miserable. Bwuah!”

“…Brain meats…?” Kaitlyn inquired. Harry jutted in.
“LET ME AT SNAPE!” he howled.

“No, kid. Listen, personally, you’ve started to grow on me. Even though you’re horribly out of character and your attempts at angst scare me. Don’t mess with Snape. He’ll kick your skinny little ass.” Kaitlyn continued. “The only reason he hasn’t kicked your skinny little ass yet, is because obviously, you’re missing some kind of underlying plot thing. So go get your face chewed off.”

“Honestly, boy. You can’t even cast a Crucio.”

“Even Neville can cast a Crucio.”

“You’re just pathetic.”

“Utterly.” Kaitlyn turned around to see, despite the locks on the door, Toad was peeking his green head out.

“What’s all the bloody racket?” he grumbled. “We’re trying to overcome issues in here!”

“Oh my lord! We’ve broken through to him!”

“Actually…” slurred Jack. “We’re playin’ a real nice game of poker in here…”

“At least they aren’t ripping each other apart.” Julia sighed.

“Holy crap!” Toad hissed as he saw the X-Men. “Who let them in? Goddammit! I need a $( restraining order over here! STOP FOLLOWING ME YOU PERVERTED CRIPPLE!”

“We cannot.” Said Xavier valiantly. “For it is our duty…no…our mission… to make all those who have an entertaining past and/or sexy physique miserable.”
“But…but…I’m winning at poker!” the green man protested.

“What are you bargaining with, anyway?” inquired Kaitlyn.

“Um…” Toad said. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Fair’s fair.” Julia mumbled. “We probably do not want to know.” There was an awkward silence for a few moments.

“Hand him over, girls. We will use brute force, if necessary.” Xavier said. Toad got up from the floor of the closet.

“You know what! NO!” he said. “I am tired of being chased after by a stupid, balding crippled man in a wheelchair because people like angst! And you know what else I’m tired of?” he glared so threateningly that none of them dare answer. “I’m getting really tired of a stupid, pudgy boy in a dress shouting about getting back in my cage and calling me Trevor. I am SICK of men in shiny, stupid looking armor trying to LICK me and asking for directions. I am SICK of him—“ he pointed to the Phantom “Comparing me with La Carlotta. But do you know what I am most sick of? Do you? Huh?” he looked positively rabid now. “I AM SICK OF FANFICTION!” A chorus of ‘here here’ and ‘good for you’s echoed from inside the closet. “They torture me. They stick me with Mary Sues. They stick me with HER!” he said in absolute horror, pointing at the white-haired weather witch. “And now, apparently, I’m going to get raped by a bear. I just can’t TAKE it anymore! I mean, at first, yeah, it was flattering.” He said in a quiet tone. “But they just got carried away! This is ridiculous! I’m the TOAD, for God’s sake! I have a thirty foot long tongue, eat pigeons and have WARTS, Goddammit! I’m the VILLIAN!” he jumped up in down to accentuate his point.

The two fangirls looked at him for a moment. They then developed huge, manic grins on their evil little faces.

“Oh hell.” He muttered.