|Cannonball Run: Carmageddon
Author: TimX7 PM
The first ever Cannonball Run World Tour. With 300 million up for grabs, everybody wants the money. No this is not a remake of Cannonball Run 3: World Tour by Charles XavierRated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,380 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 11-11-05 - Published: 08-27-05 - id: 2553662
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I don't own anything in this fic. Nothing at all. Unless there is some of my original characters.
Title: Cannonball Run Carmageddon
Summary: The first ever Cannonball Run World Tour. With $300 million up for grabs, everybody wants the money.
Author's Notes: Since the original CRC was out of date. I decided to redo it and update the cast. But there are only thirty teams. I decided on thirty, because I didn't want a huge cast. The huge cast is going to be for Cannonball Run 6. For the vehicles I'm going to be using all of the pimped out cars from Pimp My Ride, but I gave them their own unique name; depending on the team. With the exception of Team Hazzard and Team Chopper; as Team Chopper's vehicles are going to be bikes, like the Freeway from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and the police bike from the show. The bad guys are going to use vehicles from GTA: San Andreas and the security will use police cars from the Midnight Club series. My cameos and other special guests isn't finished. So I'll add to that as I go along.
Chapter 1: Beginning of the race
Brock Yates, founder of the Cannonball Run and writer of Car and Driver Magazine, walked through the White House by Secret Service agents. One agent opened the door to the Oval Office and introduced Brock to the President of the United States.
"Mr. President, Brock Yates is here." the agent said as Brock walked into the Oval Office. George W. Bush took a bite of his lomein noodles and put the carton down on his desk.
"Please have a seat Mr. Yates." George said. Brock took a seat. "I wanted to talk to you about putting a world wide Cannonball Run together."
"Mr. President, I'm not organizing the Cannonball Run anymore." Brock said.
"I know, but you're the only one to put this organize. Right now I have the whole United Nations excited to see a world wide race. Especially a race that is well know as the Cannonball Run."
"I had no idea my race was so popular."
"It is and they have signed a document that will allow the Cannonballers to get a pardon if they're caught. Though there will be some resistance to this document."
"But why the Cannonball Mr. President? Why my race?" Brock said.
"The way I see it Mr. Yates. Is that the Cannonballers of the '81 and '84 Cannonballs were a symbol of peace. Right now we need the world to see these racers from all over the world gathering to compete and to race together."
"But how are the Cannonballers going to get from one continent to the other?"
"Simple Mr. Yates. Bridges, the United Nations had the best minds in this mixed up and crazy world design bridges to the continents of the world. So what do you say Mr. Yates? Can we give this international Cannonball a shot?" George was really anxious to hold the Cannonball Run. Brock signed.
"Yes we can but I have to get my team of organizers together." Brock said.
"Great, terrific, well lets get started." George said. "By the way I'll sign the pardon document to signal the start of the Cannonball Run. Do we have a starting line?"
"Yes we do Mr. President. It will be in New York City, near Liberty Island. We'll have $300 million for first place, $200 million for second and $100 million for third."
"Sounds terrfic. Lets hold a press conference and tell the world. The Cannonball is back and the Cannonballers are going to race for peace and money."
Brian O' Conner just won another street race. As the losers cough over their money or in one racer's case, his car. A bald man approached Brian.
"Well I don't freaking believe it." the man said. Brian knew the voice from somewhere and quite frankly it was a surprise. He turned around to face the man.
"Dominic Toretto?" Brian asked. In fact it was Dominic.
"Its been a long time Brian. Did you get fired from your job for failing to bring me in?" Dominic asked the age old question he had on his mind.
"Well yeah. So now I'm racing here. Come on, I just won a new car and I was hoping that we can catch up on old times while we take the car on a joy ride."
"Sure thing lead the way."
Brian led Dominic over to a 1989 Nission 240 SX. It is painted green graphics. It has orange neon lights on the bottom, green neon lights on the inside, a total of six monitors in the trunk, 12" fusions woofers in the trunk, indiglo gauges, racing seats, auto meter gauge pod, a clock and a volt meter. Lets not forget the three Xboxes hooked up together with a wireless adaptors, wireless controllers and a few video games, including Halo 1 and 2.
Dominic was in awe as Brian got into the driver's side. Soon Dominic climbed in as they heard police sirens.
"I'll call this the Furious." Brian said.
"You're naming the car?"
Brian nodded as he started it and drove off. The police began chasing the Furious throughout the streets of Miami. As the opening credits and the opening song began to play.
Song: "Around the World" by Move
Stanly Smith (American Dad)
Francine Smith (American Dad)
Roger (American Dad)
Hayley Smith (American Dad)
Steve Smith (American Dad)
Fuu (Samurai Champloo)
Mugen (Samurai Champloo)
Jin (Samurai Champloo)
Harvey Birdman (Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law)
Avenger (Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law)
Peanut (Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law)
Phil (Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law)The Furious sped through the streets of Miami. Dodging and avoiding police cars as it headed towards the city limits.Tornado Shanks (Sealab 2021)
Sparks (Sealab 2021)
Marco (Sealab 2021)
Stormy (Sealab 2021)
Brendon Small (Home Movies)
Coach McGuirk (Home Movies)
Melissa (Home Movies)
Jason (Home Movies)Kazuma (s-CRY-ed)
Space Ghost (Space Ghost: Coast to Coast)
Moltar (Space Ghost: Coast to Coast)
Zorak (Space Ghost: Coast to Coast)
Adam Sessler (X Play)
Big C (Street Fury)
Jason Bateman as Michael Bluth (Arrested Development)
Michael Cera as George-Michael Bluth (Arrested Development)
Will Arnett as George Oscar "Gob" Bluth (Arrested Development)
Jeffrey Tambor as George Bluth Sr. (Arrested Development)
Ron Howard as narrator (Arrested Development)
Carl Johnson (Gradn Theft Auto: San Andreas)
Sean "Sweet" Johnson (Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas)
Cesar Vialpando (Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas)
Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Maes Hughes (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Louis Alex Armstrong (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Moneky D. Luffy (One Piece)
Nami (One Piece)
Usopp (One Piece)
Sanji (One Piece)Fayt Leingod (Star Ocean: Till the End of Time)
Mirage Koas (Star Ocean: Till the End of Time)
Maria Traydor (Star Ocean: Till the End of Time)
Cliff Fittir (Star Ocean: Till the End of Time)
Dim (Decline of Video Games flash cartoons)
Dan (Decline of Video Games flash cartoons)
JT (Decline of Video Games flash cartoons)
Fighter (8-Bit Theater)
Black Mage (8-Bit Theater)
Thief (8-Bit Theater)
Red Mage (8-Bit Theater)Ethan (Ctrl+Alt+Del online comics)
Lucas (Ctrl+Alt+Del online comics)
Scott (Ctrl+Alt+Del online comics)
Ted (Ctrl+Alt+Del online comics)
Paul Walker as Brian O' Conner (The Fast and the Furious)
Vin Diseal as Dominic Toretto (The Fast and the Furious)
Nick Scryer (Psi Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy)
Christian (Little Gamers)
Mr. Madsen (Little Gamers)
Marcus (Little Gamers)
Johnny Knoxville as Luke Duke (Dukes of Hazzard)
Sean William Scott as Bo Duke (Dukes of Hazzard)The Furious drove down a alley while being chased three police cars. The Furious came out of the other end as two police cars turned the corner. The lead car ran into the other and caused some serious damage to the front ends.Paul Teutal Sr. (American Chopper)
Paul Teutal Jr. (American Chopper)
Mikey Teutal (American Chopper)
Waterman (Waterman flash cartoons)
Ice Cream Girl (Waterman flash cartoons)
Mr.Dillo (Waterman flash cartoons)
Pal (Waterman flash cartoons)
Roy Bot (Waterman flash cartoons)
Larry the Cable Guy
Victor Browne as Tyler Reed (Tremors: The Series)
Michael Gross as Burt Gummer (Tremors: The Series)
Lupin the 3rd (Lupin III)
Jigen (Lupin III)
Goemon (Lupin III)
Amuro Ray (Mobile Suit Gundam)
Kamille Bidan (Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam)
Triple H (World Wrestling Entertainment)
Ric Flair (World Wrestling Entertainment)
John Bradshaw Layfield (World Wrestling Entertainment)
Albert Wesker (Resident Evil)
Nicolai Givoneaf (Resident Evil 3: Nemesis)
Ariel (indy wrestler)
Cheerleader Melissa (indy wrestler)
Kayla Sparks (indy wrestler)
Miss Deville (indy wrestler)Kratos (God of War)
Mega Man X (Mega Man X series)
Dante (Devil May Cry)
Head of Square Enix (Decline of Video Games flash cartoons)
Head of Capcom (Decline of Video Games flash cartoons)
Head of Konami (Decline of Video Games flash cartoons)
Luther (Star Ocean: Till the End of Time)
Sammael (Silent Hill 1 & 3)
Sauron (One Ring to Rule Them All flash cartoons)
Wayne the Goblin (One Ring to Rule Them All flash cartoons)
Osama Bin Laden (South Park Episode 509 and Team America: World Police)
Saddam Hussein (South Park)
Satan (South Park)
Maester Seymour (Final Fantasy X)
Alexia Ashford (Resident Evil Code: Veronica)
Revolver Ocelot (Metal Gear Solid games)
Racing Drones (Hot Wheels Acceleracers)Orc Soldiers (Lord of the Rings)
Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg (The Dukes of Hazzard)
M.C. Gainey as Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane (The Dukes of Hazzard)
Hiliary Swank as Sgt. Janice Foyt (original character)
Zap Branningan (Furturama)
Spike Spiegal (Cowboy Bebop)
Vash the Stampede (Trigun)
Jet (Cowboy Bebop)
Faye (Cowboy Bebop)
Edward (Cowboy Bebop)
Major Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex)
Batou (Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex)
Tachikomas (Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex)
Stroker (Stroker and Hoop)
Hoop (Stroker and Hoop)
C.A.R.R. (Stroker and Hoop)Hellboy (Hellboy)
Inu Yasha (Inu Yasha)
Miroku (Inu Yasha)
Sango (Inu Yasha)
Ratchet (Ratchet & Clank)
Clank (Ratchet & Clank)
Jak (Jak & Daxter)
Daxter (Jak & Daxter)
X (Mega Man X series)
Zero (Mega Man X series)
Axl (Mega Man X series)
Kira Yamato (Gundam Seed)
Athrun Zala (Gundam Seed)
Dearka Elthman (Gundam Seed)
Yzak Joule (Gundam Seed)
Nicol Amarfi (Gundam Seed)
Mr. Incredible (The Incredibles)
Elastigirl (The Incredibles)
Dash (The Incredibles)
Violet (The Incredibles)
John Madden (National Footbal League)
Jesse James (Monster Garage)
Big Schwag (Monster Garage)
Dale Earnhart Jr.
Coop (Megas XLR)
Haru Glory (Rave Master/Groove Adventures Rave)
Conan Edagawa/Jimmy Kudo (Detective Conan/Cased Closed)
Trey Parker with Timmy and Lords of the Underworld (South Park)
Weird Al Yankovic
Cletus T. Judd
Puffi Ami Yumi
Reel Big Fish
Meryl Silverburgh (Metal Gear Solid)
Emma Emmerich (Metal Gear Solid 2)
Rosemary (Metal Gear Solid 2)
Alia Shawkat as Mae "Maeby" Funke (Arrested Development)
Timothy Bottoms as George W. Bush (That's My Bush!)
Burt Reynolds as J.J. McClure (Cannonball Run)
Dom Deluise as Victor Prinsi (Cannonball Run)
Willie Nelson as Uncle Jessie (The Dukes of Hazzard)
Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke (The Dukes of Hazzard)After minutes of outrunning the police. The Furious finally made it out of the city and onto the highway.
"So you're entering the Cannonball Run?" Dominic asked.
"Yes and I need a teammate. Wanna join?" Brian replied.
"Sure, so it'll be us and the Furious."
Orange County, California...
"While waiting for Gob and the start of the Cannonball, George-Michael went into his father's office to find the road atlas he thought they'd need. He ended up discovering a new level to his cousin Maeby's dark side."
"What are you doing on my dad's computer?" asked George-Michael.
"Check this out." said Maeby. She directed George-Michael to read the online text. "Does this seem sexually explicit to you?"
"It did. In fact, it was the most shockingly sexually explicit thing George-Michael had ever read."
"What are you doing?" exclaimed George-Michael. "Who are you sending this to?"
"Gob." said Maeby.
"You're sending this to Gob?" asked George-Michael.
"Don't be so shocked." said Maeby. "It's not like this is the first one."
"How long have you been doing this?" asked George-Michael.
"I dunno." said Maeby. "How long has your dad had this e-mail address?"
"Not wanting to hear anymore, George-Michael grabbed the atlas and left. Outside, his father Michael was waiting for him as well as his brother Gob."
"Hey, dad." said George-Michael. "Uncle Gob's still not here?"
"No." said Michael. "If he entered the Cannonball without us, I'm reporting him to the Magician's Alliance."
"It was around that time that Gob finally showed up. He was driving what used to be an equipment van for Bluth Construction and was now converted into a seventies-style custom van. Gob, of course, called it the Wizard."
Gob parked the van and climbed out.
"You know, we were getting concerned you weren't going to show up." said Michael.
"Sorry, I had an errand to run." said Gob. "But enough talk, let's go."
Gob climbed back into the driver's seat, Michael took shotgun, and George-Michael climbed in back.
"Uncle Gob, is that a hot tub?" asked George-Michael.
"Yeah, they had to put in airbag suspension to support the weight, but it was worth it." said Gob.
A light moan was heard from the tub.
"What was that?" asked Michael.
"Yeah, there's something wrong with the pump." said Gob. "I'd suggest not using the tub until I can fix it."
"And with that, the Bluth family went off to write themselves into Cannonball history, one way or another."
Whispering Hills Psychic Summer Camp
Psi Cadet Razputen or Raz for short; walked next to famed Psi Ops member Nick Scryer. They both headed to their vehicle for the Cannonball Run.
"I'm glad my dad let me enter the Cannonball and represent the Psychonauts." Raz said.
"Yeah and remember. I'm the only driver of the Esper." Nick said. Once they saw the Esper, Raz let out a loud scream that the camp could hear.
"The car! Its blue and pink!" Raz exclaimed and sure enough a 1991 Chevy Cavalier Convertable was painted Tahitian blue with pink flower patterns. The tires were Fuzion ZRI with Giovanna G-Racing Kobe rims. The seats in the car were baby blue and pink and each seat had a DVD Player and monitor. A popcorn machine was on the center console with a ten disc CD changer. There was also a sun tan lotion dispenser on the dashboard and the car came outfitted with Audiovox amplifiers and woofers in a speaker box.
"You did say that the girls with Agent Milla painted the car. You should've expected this." Nick said scratching his head.
"I hope we have enough time to paint it before the race." Raz said.
Somewhere in Hazzard County
"Hurry up Bo!" Luke Duke shouted. "Sheriff Coltrane is right on our tail!"
Luke and Bo Duke were speeding through the fields of Hazzard County in their infamous orange '69 Dodge Charger with a confederate flag on the roof and a 01 on the side. Everyone in Hazzard County knows it by name and its named the General Lee.
"I'm going as fast as I can Luke!" Bo shouted back at his cousin.
Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane grinned as he was finally going to catch the Duke Boys. Unfortunately the General Lee made a turn, but the car Coltrane was driving didn't and he went right into a swamp. The Duke's were laughing at their success and Coltrane's misfortune.
Later that day
Boss Hogg knocked on the door to Uncle Jesse's farmhouse. Unlce Jessie answered and was a bit surprised by Hogg paying him a visit.
"Boss Hogg." Jessie said. "What do I owe this pleasure?"
"Where are those Duke boys?" Hogg said. Hogg was a rich man in this area and he held Hazzard County Sheriff's Department in his hands.
"Well I heat to tell you this but they left for Los Angeles." Jesse said. "Something about a race called the Cannonball Run. Its around the world and they said they wanted to represent Hazzard County in it."
"The Cannonball Run? I've heard of that race before. I've heard it was a illegal race that went from one part of the United States to the next. Do you mean to tell me they can go across the ocean now?"
"I guess. If you hurry, you might catch them."
"I'll do just that." Hogg smiled as Jesse closed the door. Hogg walked back to his white convertable grinning with his usual evil grin.
"I'll get Coltrane and a team of the best damn cops in the world to stop this Cannonball Run."
Jessie turned around and came face to face with Daisy Duke, who was pretty angry at Jessie for telling Hogg what the Duke Boys were doing.
"Could you tell me why you told Hogg what Bo and Luke were going to do?" she demanded.
"Simple Daisy. The President of the United States is going to sign off on a document that will pardon the Cannonballers for speeding throughout the world. So Bo and Luke are safe. No matter what Coltrane and Hogg do."
"Well I guess that will work. Only the document in question won't get signed until the start of the race. What if Coltrane and Hogg find enough cops and find the location of the pre race party?"
"I'm sure the race organizers have that covered." Jesse said. "You can out now boys! He's gone."
Bo came out of a fake refrigerator and Luke came out of a panel in the ceiling.
"Damnit Uncle Jessie!" Luke said. "You better not have screwed us and the other Cannonballers over!"
"I hope I didn't either. Now if you'd just shut up and finish packing. You can get going tomorrow morning."
Luke and Bo finished putting their packed bags into the trunk of the General Lee. Uncle Jessie came out with a five crates containing jars that were filled with a clear liquid and clothes sticking out of the lids.
"Aw we don't drink your moonshine Uncle Jesse." Bo said. "But thank you anyway. What's with the rags?"
"Its not for your to drink." Jessie said. "Its for you guys to use in the race in case you run into trouble. Now this race will take you all over the world and possibly the Middle East. If you should run into a bunch of Iraqi rebels that are slaughtering our troops over there. Use these and teach some Hazzard County payback for all of the men and women they killed."
"We will Uncle Jessie. We'll put these to good use." Luke said as he took the crates and put them into the trunk and back. The ones he put in the back seat were covered with a towel. "But would five crates be overkill? Shouldn't we be allowed to equip weapons onto our cars?"
"No and no." Jesse said. "Those crates should be just enough and there is a rule that only personal weapons and gadgets are allowed. Though the weapons should be non lethal. Hopefully they'll provide a few non lethal weapons in Los Angeles."
The next morning
The General Lee was already on the highways of Georgia and heading towards LA.
"This is going to be big Bo." Luke said with glee. "This is a race around the world."
"Bring on all racers. We're ready." Bo responded.
"Ready to win three hundred million dollars!" Luke said.
"YYEEEEEEEEHHHHAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW!" The Duke Boys shouted.
Adam Sessler, host of G4's X Play, walked outside of the building. He noticed a 1984 Ford Ranger painted tangelo with tribal graphics, custom seats imprinted with flames, fold out couch, Gamecube with wireless controllers, 23 inch monitor, 3,000 watt system and a ping pong table in the truck bed that can be pulled out and set up anywhere. This Ford was called the Gamer and with good reason. Sitting in the driver's seat was a African American and Street Fury's host Big C. No one knows in G4TV knows his real name.
"Ah I see the Gamer is all ready." Adam said to himself. When he got near the Gamer, Big C moved it a few feet away from Adam.
"Oh very funny. Now come on. Lets go win this Cannonball Run." Adam once again went to get into the Gamer and Big C did it again. Fed up Adam ran up to the Gamer to get in, but Big C decided to drive out of the G4TV HQ parking lot. Adam screamed and chased after the Gamer.
Space Ghost sat at his desk in his talk show studio. He took a sip of his hot coffee (we'll have none of those Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas Hot Coffee jokes now). Zorak a preying mantis like alien sat over at his keyboard. Moltar, the camera man and director of the show, stood in his little room looking through his monitor at Space Ghost.
"So you want to tell Zorak or should I?" Moltar said.
"Tell me what?" Zorak asked.
"I'll tell him." Moltar sighed. "Zorak, Space Ghost signed us up for the Cannonball Run."
"Let me show you our vehicle." Space Ghost said as he walked back stage and drove a 1981 Pontiac Trans Am out. The car was painted charcoal pearl, with a phoenix decal on the hood, twenty inch chrome wheels, a espresso machin inside, brown leather interior and a chandelier hangind from the dome light.
"He calls it the Dark Phoenix." Moltar said.
"That is a sweet ride." Zorak said as he rubbed his hands together. "How much is the prize money?"
"About three hundred million dollars." Space Ghost said.
"Well what are we waiting for?" Zorak exclaimed as he climbed into the Dark Phoenix. "Lets get going!"
"Captain?" Quinn, the only smart African-American on board Sealab, said as he looked around Captain Tornado Shanks's living quarters on Sealab. Obviously the captain isn't there. So Quinn left the room and headed to the control room where Sparks is posted, in high hopes that Sparks can locate the Shanks. Unfortunately, Sparks isn't at his post. In fact his chair is missing too. Of course Sparks doesn't go anywhere without his chair and his leg muscles are weak from sitting in the damn thing.
"ARGH! Where is everybody?" Quinn asked himself. "I know, I'll ask Marco and Stormy where they are. Last time I saw Marco and Stormy, they were in my personal garage, looking at my brand new car that I remodeled and named the Dolphin."
Quinn walked to his garage, which was a addition to his lab. There he let out a scream that can be heard throughout Sealab. Yes, Marco and Stormy had stolen the car. Leaving a VCR and TV where the Dolphin sat. Quinn turned on the TV and hit play. The face of former football coach and now captain of Sealab, Tornado Shanks, appeared on the screen. He is wearing all black like a burgler.
"Quinn, if you found this. Then you know that we stole the Dolphin." Shanks said. Just then Marco, Stormy and Sparks appeared on screen and started to cheer. Shanks told them to get the Dolphin onboard the special Deep Diver submarine. "I'm going to give you a minute to swear and scream at the top of your lungs Quinn."
Shanks waited a minute before he continued. "Quinn, don't call police and don't look for us. For we're entering the Dolphin to race in the Cannonball Run. It seems the idiot President is doing something right for a change. Not like keeping our troops in Iraq, so they can drop like flies. He's actually going to let this race take Cannonballers all over the world. Its going to be a blast Quinn. Too bad you ain't coming with us. Then again Quinn, you won't come with us. Racing is something you're not interested in. So we'll bring home the prize money and give it to you."
"WHAT?" Sparks came on screen again. "No way in Hell! Are we giving Quinn all of our prize money when we win!"
"Its going to Quinn whether you like it or not!" Shanks said. "He needs the money to continue his genetics research."
Just to prove Shanks's point. A half man, half dolphin creature came on screen.
"Dolphin Man loves you." the creature said.
"GET BACK INTO YOUR CAGE!" Shanks and Sparks said. The creature then walked off screen. Sparks and Shanks look back at the camera. "We will race and we will win."
Quinn turned the VCR and TV off. "They had better win. The Dolphin is the best vehicle ever made. Lets hope they don't trash the inside and lets hope they don't eat in it."
Cut to the Dolphin, a Honda Civic with leather massage seats, a Playstation 2, CD/DVD player, a sound system, sunroof and Lamborghini doors. Its also painted lavender with racing stripes down the center. Inside Sparks and Stormy are eating potato chips and other kinds of junk food. Obviously, they're making a mess.
"Guys! You're making a mess!" Shanks shouted from the co-pilots seat on the submarine they're taking up to the surface with the Dolphin.
"Ignore them captain." Marco said in a hispanic accent. Of course Marco is Hispanic, in case you didn't know that.
"I know, but Quinn would have a hissy fit if we trashed the inside of his car." Shanks said in a Southern United States accent.
"What he doesn't know can't hurt him Captain." Marco replied.
"Yeah you're right. So lets eat inside his car and clean it up when we cross the finish line."
Stan Smith, a proud conservative and employee at the Central Intelligence Agency, sat at the dinner table as his family ate. He barely touched his food and he couldn't tell his family what his boss told him he had to do.
"Stan, what's wrong? You are not eating your dinner and in fact your making a small version of the Devil's Tower out of your mashed potatoes." Francine Smith said. "Did you have a bad day at work today sweety?"
"No, my boss told me I had to enter in the first ever Cannonball Run World Tour. So my boss gave me a vehicle for the race already. The only people I can ask to be my team is you guys."
"Is Roger included or does he have to stay here?" Steve, Stan's son asked. Roger is a grey, big headed alien that Stan saved from Area 51.
"He can come. My boss said he had always known about Roger and we don't have to keep him here inside the house the whole time. Besides, we can disguise him. I'll show you the vehicle tomorrow."
The next day the Smith's had their bags packed and loaded into a Burple(a mix of purple and blue) 1985 Chevy Suburban with 37" tires and 22" Giovanna rims.
"I call this the Freedom. What do you think?" Stan asked.
"Well Dad." Hayley Smith looked inside. "Its nice and it has stuff for all of us. I don't know..."
"Hayley, its summer and we can complete the race in a few months. Since we're breaking the speed limit anyway." Stan interrupted.
"Stanly!" Francine was not happy about the speeding comment. "Do you mean to tell us we're breaking the law?"
"Well the President of the United States will pardon the racers for all of their crimes during the race."
"Well can we get going?" Roger said as he wore a navy blue CIA hoody a fishing hat and baggy jeans. "Or are we going to look at it all day?
"Birdman!" came his boss's voice over the intercom. "Please meet me in the parking deck with Avenger and Peanut in ten minutes."
"I wonder why Phil wants me to meet him in the parking deck?" Birdman said to himself.
Ten minutes later Phil looked at his watch and waited for Birdman to arrive. Birdman finally showed up with Peanut and his purple bird Avenger in a cage.
"Well its about time you got here." Phil said. "Now you may not know this but I'm going to be entering the Cannonball Run. So naturally I need a team. So I picked you."
"I'm honored." Birdman said.
"Where's the vehicle we'll be using in the Cannonball?" Peanut asked.
"Oh yes that." Phil walked over to a white tarp covering a large object. Phil removes the tarp to reveal a black Daihatsu Hi-Jet van.
"Nice." Birdman commented.
"Of course it is. I call it the Lawsuit. It has a mini fridge, two MP3 players, and a six DVD changer. Now we're going to win this Cannonball, so I can cash the prize money into dollar bills and swim in a pool filled with the money naked. Ha ha dangley parts."
Kazuma walked out of his in the Lost Grounds island in Japan. The native alter was once again going to do a job with his friend Kimishima. What Kazuma doesn't know is that Kimishima is taking him to the United States so they can race in the Cannonball Run.
"Hey Kazuma, are you ready?" Kimishima asked.
Kazuma looked up at a 1967 Ford Mustang painted turquoise.
"What the hell is going on Kimishima?" Kazuma asked.
"Its simple Kazuma. I've entered us into the Cannonball Run. Thats our next job Kazuma and this here is our vehicle for the race. I call her the Native Alter. By the way..."
Kimishima got out of the Native Alter and ran inside to tape a note to the refridgerator. It was saying that he and Kazuma had gone to the United States to enter the Cannonball Run. Then he went back to the car. "So are you ready to go or do you need a little more time?"
A 1987 Chevy Blazer painted porsche yellow with flame graphics and has 20" giovanna rims with pirelli pzero tires, pulled into the drive way of a apartment complex. Ethan, a gamer that works in a video game store, gets out and walks to his apartment.
"Okay guys!" he announced. "Time for the Cannonball Run!"
"What are you talking about?" his roommate Lucas wondered. Lucas works at a customer support in a computer store.
"I signed us up for a race in Los Angeles. Called the Cannonball Run. Three hundred million dollars for the winner."
"Did you say three hundred million dollars?" Lucas's pupils looked like dollar signs.
"Whats this about the Cannonball Run?" the third roommate Scott walked out with his pet penquin Ted.
"Ethan signed us up for a race with three hundred million dollars on the line." Lucas said.
"What about Ted and your girlfriend Ethan?"
"I already told her about the race Scott and you can bring Ted along too. We're going to go through Antarctica during the race."
Thirty minutes later and after Scott, Ethan and Lucas packed their bags and put them into the trunk. They said goodbye to Lillah and told her to watch the apartment. Then they left.
"Pretty nice." Lucas said as he admired the interior of the vehicle. "Do we have a name?"
"Yeah its called the Hacker." Ethan said.
"Get those bikes onto the trailer so we can get out of here to Los Angeles!" Paul Teutal Sr. ordered his two sons. Mike Teutal drove their famous police bike onto the trailer. While Paul Jr. drove his bike for the Cannonball Run, a custom made bike named the Freeway.
"Okay we're loading them right now." Mikey said.
"Good, we've got to represent Orange County Choppers in the Cannonball Run."
"Yes pops" Paul Jr. said.
Amuro Ray waited outside the house of Kamille Bidan. Amuro was getting impatient. The car he was waiting in was a 1996 Chevy Caprice Cop Car painted lime gold and black with Lexani enfinity rims. Kamille finally came out and climbed in. The car then backed up and drove down the street.
"So what are we going to call this vehicle that we're going to race in the Cannonball Run?" Kamille asked.
"I'm naming it after the RX-78-2 Gundam. So its name is the RX-78." Amuro said.
Triple H and his lackey "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair stood backstage in the parking lot at the arena RAW was being taped.
"Well it seems that Triple H and Ric Flair are waiting for someone." said the voice of commentator Jim Ross.
"He's obiviously waiting for Batista to show his face." came the voice of third commentator Johnathon Coachman said.
Just then a 1958 Volkswagen Bus pulled up to the two wrestlers. The top half is painted white and the bottom half is painted lime green with chrome trim. A school bus sign on the side that said 'CANNONBALL' popped out.
"Who the hell is that?" JR wondered.
The door opened and there sat in the driver's seat, Smackdown's own John Bradshaw Layfield. Inside his office, Eric Bischoff spat out his whiskey in a fine mist. He quickly called Smackdown General Manager Theodore Long.
"Long its me Eric." Eric said. "Can you tell me why JBL is picking up Triple H and Ric Flair? I see..."
Eric hung up the phone and cursed JBL for taking his two highest drawing superstars into the Cannonball Run. The bus had already left the arena by now and JBL was driving it.
"We need a name for this fine vehicle." JBL said.
"I'm thinking the Game." Triple H said. "Because its that damn good!"
"Yeah!" Ric added in. "WHOO!"
"You call this a Cannonball Run vehicle?" Jeff Foxworthy said.
Him, Larry the Cable Guy and Bill Engvall stood in front of a 1968 Chevy Chevelle painted black with racing stripes and candy green finish.
"Yeah and we need a name." Bill said.
"Well how about we call it the Red Neck." Jeff said as he thought about it for a minute.
"This will surely help us win the Cannonball Run." Larry said. "Now as I always say..."
"We know!" Bill and Jeff interrupted. "Let's get ir done!"
"Yeah lets get ir done!" Larry replied.
Author's Comments: Yes this is a remake of the original Cannonball Run Carmageddon. I had to remake it because a lot of stuff is out of date. So I've took out some teams. Replaced some teams and made the limit of teams to thirty. Enjoy and review this when you read it. I'll have the rest of the teams for you later. Oh and the unedited version, which is the version containing the full song lyrics is on nFiction's website. I'll post the link in my profile when I get the chapter up on nFiction.