Her apartment was small but warm, and it was a lot closer than Youko's. She knew that she had given up on getting home that night. If Sei threw her out then she would probably sleep on the doorstep, but that was later, right now she was wide-awake. And as, ahead of her, Sei kicked off her shoes and jogged in to make sure there was water in the teapot, Youko let her bag drop and slipped out of her shoes as she hunted through the nearby closets for even one pair of slippers (extra was not an issue, Sei clearly did not care for them). She thought about hurrying to find a mirror, straighten her hair, fix her make up, smile- but this was Sei, this wasn't a date with just another girl whom she was trying to impress into bed, it was Sei. She didn't know whether that made it more important to come off well or less, but Sei had never been impressed by anything Youko did; being all fixed up wasn't really going to help. And she had already been enough of a mess in front of her tonight anyway. But this was it, a part of her was saying, as if this particular situation carried more importance than any had before. Everything else was practice, but it had been terrible practice, she had learned how to lie so well, but Sei wanted honesty- Honesty? The only use Youko had for that was to be shocking. She shook her head and gave up on the slipper hunt, then followed Sei's path into the kitchen.

"You! You're not supposed to be in here!" Sei was waving a finger wildly at her. "Go out there, be a guest."

Youko bowed, "Forgive me for intruding."

She started out into the living area but Sei caught her hand. She turned back. Sei was looking at her, eyes hard and focused. Then her hand was released and Sei turned back to the tea.

Youko closed her eyes for a moment. What was she doing? This was Sei, someone she could never understand, never come close to organizing a sensible analysis of her behavior; she was too mercurial, too dichotomous, too bloody insane!

She turned and entered the dining area, then knelt by the table. Sei bustled out after her dropping mismatched cups and various tea options on the table.

Sei was smiling at her and not really paying attention to anything. It was weird. They were both probably overtired. She sorted through the tea so as not to pay attention to the gaze and pulled out the most highly caffeinated varieties. She was not feeling sleepy at all anymore, but she couldn't be too careful about what a tired tongue might let slip.

Sei was trying to help her and it was safe to look up, but her hands easily put the bags in the cups and put them under the spout. She pressed the buttons on automatic and glanced back at Sei who was watching her and half-grinning.

"You're not acting like a guest."

"We'll you're a terrible host."

"Oh! You stab me to the heart!"

"You need someone to take care of you." Youko froze, clutching her cup of tea. Had she actually said that? What did it sound like on the other side- did it-

"Are you offering?" it did.

"Well, I was always willing to take control of your life."

"I thought we got over the part where you were the master puppeteer and I was the reluctant Pinocchio. Okusan."

Youko set her tea down. "Let's not play those games, please."

"So you do want it."

"Sei- Don't push it." She shook her head. "I'm sorry. We both have our buttons I suppose, but I'm no one's okusan."

"Single to the day you die, eh? Where did you get these ideas, anyways? You were always tough, but I never saw you as someone who wouldn't do what was expected of them."

"If it's important. I don't think I always made that judgment, but at least with this I had a lot of things guiding me about what was important. Sachiko helped. The complete debacle about getting Sachiko over her hatred of men, that helped."

"Oh god, don't remind me. You made me pick the boy, come on."

"You said he'd be safe."

"He's totally flaming!"

"He asked me to marry him once."

"Um."

"It was just a random thing, more of the 'if this Osagawara thing falls through I'd be happy to become a Mizuno' type."

Sei cracked up, slapping her leg. "He is such a woman. I'm glad he's becoming more comfortable with it, though the molesting of Yumi's brother was just sick."

Youko nodded.

"So I guess you figured that the alliance wasn't that important."

"It's important if you care about power and influence, not if you care about people."

"You really do believe that. I can't believe how wrong I was, how completely and utterly self-absorbed I was. I thought I was obsessed with- with her, but I was really only obsessed with myself, trying to make my self whole, trying to change what I hated about myself in her."

It was getting rough. "We don't have to do this."

Sei smashed her fist into the table. "Stop caring about me so much!"

Oh yes, it had gotten rough. Youko shoved her cup away from her, glaring straight at Sei. "Why didn't you ever grope me?"

Sei froze, completely shocked. Youko did her best to hide the smile that threatened to escape.

"You- you wanted me to-"

"Yes, I kind of felt left out. You were always going for Yumi, and I was happy to see you laugh; but- did you ever like me? I- I don't know. I just don't feel like we could ever just laugh together. There was too much build up, too much history. I think it was mostly my fault. I wanted you too much. I was always worrying about what you thought of me, worrying so much I could never seem anything but stiff and proper, like you hated."

Sei started a grin. "When Yumi told me that you had molested her I had never been so shocked in my life. But I did like you. Maybe we never joked around, but whenever I needed someone, you always tried so hard."

"Oh great- I'm the one who 'tried'."

"After, after the train station, I was still pretty wrapped up in myself, but I did figure it out. I did understand that you were there for me. You weren't there because you thought I was a dead weight on the Yamayurikai. My Oneesama wasn't either. I don't think I paid her back for everything she did for me."

"I don't know," Youko sipped her tea, "I think you did pretty well."

"How do you mean?"

Youko tapped the rim of her cup. "We caring Oneesama, the only repayment we want, is that our little sisters turn out well, and I, at least, think you turned out just fine."

"You arrogant little-" Sei was diving towards her and knocking her back on the tatami. Youko saved her tea, struggled and flailed, Sei was lying on top of her. She couldn't let herself lie still, she couldn't or she knew her hands would catch that shaggy head and hold her in place to be kissed. It shouldn't be such a big deal. They had done it already, they had done it twice in fact, but it was still Sei, it was still completely terrifying and completely repressed. And if she did it, if she let go- well, stopping was an interesting theory, but really truly impracticable.

Hands- under shirt- choke. Youko pulled away, tucking her knees into herself. Sei was left kneeling, one hand on the floor.

"Youko-sa-, are you okay, I'm sorry, I thought you wanted-"

Youko hung her head. "God, I'm acting like a virgin. It's just- if we start-."

"But, do you want to start?"

Youko looked at the girl across from her, who looked slightly worried, but her reasons were her own. She was still Sei, totally and completely. "Yes."

The facial antics were interesting to watch. The Sei jumped up. "I'll be right back." And she fled.

Youko sat, still huddled up in the corner, but thinking to herself that it wasn't exactly the reaction she was expecting.

When Sei did not return for five minutes she went back to the table and made some more tea. Ten minutes after she reappeared looking flustered and smelling of toothpaste.

"So, um, what were you doing?"

"I, uh, had to clean my room and um, arrange the futon."

Youko stood up and offered her hand. "Well, shall we go?"

Sei gaped. "What? Just like that?"

Youko raised an eyebrow. "Well, here's the theory. I'm actually quite tired and I have just missed the last train home, so unless you forcibly throw me out I'm going to stay over, no matter what we do, and I hope you won't take it badly if I manage to collapse before-"

Sei took her arm. "Please, I have been a terrible host. Let me escort you to your bed. Would you like to borrow some pajamas?"

Youko smiled, and yawned, quickly covering her mouth. "I don't think we need go that far."

They entered Sei's room. Youko was unimpressed by the immense mound of laundry barely restrained by the hamper and the comforter had been unskillfully arranged to appear both made and inviting but only succeeded in appearing rumpled. But the screens were beautiful and they stopped her as Sei glanced around grimacing. They were not quite enough, however, to distract her from the fact that she intended to undress with Sei watching her.

"Do you want a bath?"

"I think I'd drown." She slipped out of her jacket. "Unzip me?" She held herself stiffly, keeping her breathing under control as Sei came up behind her. Her hands were on her neck, down, sliding over her shoulders. The dress pooled at her feet and she stepped out of it. She picked it up and folded it. Then she stepped over and sat on the edge of the futon as she pulled off her nylons. She glanced up at Sei who was still standing there, looking completely confused and felt like being wicked. She slid under the comforter. "Well?" she asked, "Are you coming?"

Sei hurried out of her trousers. "Do you think I would pass this up?" She slid in next to Youko, "Wait till I tell all the boys that I had Youko-chan in my bed. Oh, they'll all be so jealous."

Youko looked at her, smiling softly. "What will you say in the morning?"

"Mm," Sei grinned, "What do you want for breakfast? I think I can successfully make eggs and toast… or possibly fried rice."

"Eggs and toast sound fine." Youko grinned and hooked her arms around Sei's neck. "I'll kiss you now."

"Well, if that's the response I get, I'll look to expanding my repertoire. Not too tired?"

"Wide awake and highly caffeinated."

"Is that so."

Youko saw Sei's lips curl into a grin before they took hers and she was being pushed down into the bed, Sei's warm body sprawled halfway on top of hers, and she had wrapped her hands around her head, holding her down. And it was too intense, Sei's thumb was brushing against her cheek and the other one was curled around her arm. Neither were making a move to go beyond kissing like this, chaste closed mouth kisses turning into hot open mouthed ones, interchanging with occasional exchanges of tongue. And it was insane. Youko felt the scene from outside her body, outside her immediate attention she could almost say obsession, with the kiss. And she looked down at them, tussling under a rumpled pink comforter and she wondered what Eriko would say, probably something like "eventually the cicadas will rise from the ground and make so much noise that you'll want to cover your ears when you walk under a tree." But what would the ghost of the Yamayurikai say, that spirit that had kept them still and calm and responsible, seeing two of her former members engaging in such activity? "It's your first date, you don't need to jump so far so fast," it said in Youko's head, and Youko giggled into the kiss. Sei pulled away. "What are you laughing at?"

"Just us," she said, and kissed her. Because it was their first date, but it might well be their last, and she was already making up for lost time.