Disclaimer: We don't own Star Wars.

Acknowledgments: Co-written with the fabulous Tir Synni. Much, MUCH love to her for helping me with it. Inspired by David Sherman and Dan Cregg's novel Jedi Trial.

Aubrey's Crap: Writing on this is going very slowly. With any God given luck, it will start picking up again before too long. In the mean time, there's a subplot, the first chapter of which will be uploaded before too long. I hope. In any rate, this is to tide you over for a bit. Please enjoy the new chapter.

Summary: Some mistakes can never truly be forgiven, and lead us down paths we might not have tread, given the choice. Beyond the Jedi way lies only hope, the biggest hoax of all.

Tagline: Praesitlyn ends with a twist, how does the future adapt?

Chapter music: Breathing by Lifehouse

Story music: Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson

---

Behind the Jedi Way
Chapter Two

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though, I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there
Take a breath, hold on tight
Spin around one more time
Then gracefully fall back to the arms of grace
Breathing (Lifehouse, No Name Face)

---

His hands were trembling, Obi-Wan noted with an odd detachment. It was enough to even shake his tea. He raised his tea to take a drink, realized he was beginning to slosh it, and put it back down. "I see," he murmured. He cleared his throat and told his old Padawan how long he had been there. "We would have come, you know," Obi-Wan commented, as idly as if he was discussing the weather. "If we had known. Nothing would have stopped us. Even Padme would have come."

"But, you didn't." Resentment flooded through him again, and when he looked up his eyes were glazed with tears he wasn't aware of. "And, I had no way to contact you. Our bond broke, did you know that?"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. "I suspected," he said softly. "We never even assumed. Your impersonator was well trained. No one suspected the difference."

"I haven't felt such agony in my life, Obi-Wan." Anakin informed him, his hands fisting on the table in frustration. "It was mind numbing-literally. I think I passed out three times. You seriously didn't notice it?"

Obi-Wan bowed his head. "Your impersonator was perfect," he said flatly. "When he went Dark, it broke all of our hearts. Perhaps it was with his descent that I began withdrawing. Or perhaps it was something else. I will have to investigate the matter." He raised his head and forced a weak smile. "Unfortunately, my investigative abilities are limited at the moment. The remaining Jedi are trapped in their respective zones. If we reveal ourselves, the Empire will not only destroy us but all associated with us." He met Anakin's glassy eyes. "I cannot draw the Empire here. I cannot have them find Luke."

"Then don't." Anakin shrugged. "I can stop them on my own, if I need to."

Obi-Wan's eyes flashed. He tried to quiet his temper, but it rebelled against his control. "To what end?" he demanded. "What could you hope to accomplish?"

"Revenge." He spoke the word calmly, as he picked up his spoon and stirred his tea idly. It was as though he spoke it everyday. As though he hadn't been raised by Obi-Wan and Shmi alike not to desire it. So much had changed since he'd last seen either of them...

Obi-Wan stared at him for a long moment. Then he threw his head back and laughed. He laughed like he hadn't done for many years. It hurt his chest and scratched his throat, but he couldn't stop laughing. "Some things," he wheezed, "never change, my old padawan."

"You think not?" Anakin raised an eyebrow at him. "How'd you draw that conclusion, I wonder."

Obi-Wan chuckled, his chest aching. "You're still making decisions based on your emotions. There are still so many dangers you'll face. You have no idea what your return will mean to people."

"Obi-Wan..." Anakin offered him a grim smile. "Anakin Skywalker isn't coming back. Not if I can help it. Danger doesn't matter. I'll do what I need to. I'll succeed because I have to. After that...the best thing in the universe sounds like starting over..."

Obi-Wan sighed, feeling oddly rejuvenated despite the grim conversation. "And what exactly do you have in mind?"

"Well, I was planning on grabbing the nearest lightsaber and charging in there, cutting down everything remotely political in sight." The former Padawan admitted with a lazy grin. "Of course, if you have a better plan, I'm all ears."

Involuntarily rolling his eyes, Obi-Wan commented drolly, "Well, you can find out more concerning the gathering Rebellion. It might increase your lifespan, as well as help you gather information." He fell quiet for a moment. He could give Anakin the information necessary to find the Rebellion, but then...he would lose Anakin all over again. He had sworn...to protect Luke. Even if he wasn't Anakin's child, he was Padme's, and he was dangerously powerful in the Force. But if he could aid Anakin, like he failed to do before…

"Can't this galaxy go two weeks without a rebellion?" His former apprentice raised an eyebrow in bemusement. It sounded like the Clone Wars were about to repeat themselves...if they'd stopped to begin with.

"The Rebellion against the Empire." Obi-Wan considered for a moment. "And while there are always people against those in power, this particular group has great reason to be so concerned. Many high names are tied in with the Rebellion. It's more guerrilla warfare than anything at the moment, but soon, the Empire will pay attention." He smiled mockingly. "Then a many great deal of lives will be lost."

"Not if I can help it." Anakin shook his head. Then, a new question occurred to him, and he frowned in confusion. "Obi-Wan? When did the Republic become an Empire?"

Obi-Wan laughed bitterly. "When Emperor Palpatine gained power. When the new emperor wiped out the Jedi."

"I see..." He nodded thoughtfully, closing his eyes for a moment. "And, the massive disturbance in the Force would the fault of who?"

"Emperor Palpatine," Obi-Wan repeated. Then his eyes narrowed. "Do not try anything foolish, Anakin. If it were that easy, then we would not be living in these times. Countless Jedi died. If you attempt anything, you will simply be another among their number."

"I told you." Anakin reminded him tonelessly. "I'll succeed because I have to."

Obi-Wan stared into his tea. He wanted to reach across the table and smack his former student. He didn't. "Many warriors have gone against the Empire with such thinking," he informed him softly. "In this matter, you will be no different. If you leave here now, with no plans or resources, you shall die without ever achieving your goals." He smiled mirthlessly. "Or worse. You shall follow your impersonator's path and turn Dark."

"I sense the dark side, Master." Anakin informed him flatly. "Which translates to the Sith. If you have any faith in Qui-Gon's judgment at all, you must realize that I might be the only one who can do this." He snorted sardonically, and lounged back in his chair. "Besides, I think you're underestimating how stubborn I am. I am not dying until I get exactly what I want. And, by that point, it won't matter whether I live or not."

Obi-Wan couldn't help but laugh. "There is that, of course." He realized dimly that he had finished off another cup of tea. And that it was cold. He considered getting a new one but dismissed it for the moment. "Do you have any idea where you're going to start?"

"Where else?" His former Padawan raised an eyebrow. "I know exactly where Palpatine is. Coruscant."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Of course. Going straight to the top." He hesitated. "Many things have changed since your…imprisonment, Anakin. Not just social structures but physical structures. Palpatine is determined to-" He paused. "Have you seen Palpatine since your return, Anakin?"

"Yes." He nodded. "The clones took me straight to him" Anakin grimaced a little. "He looks like someone melted him, and tried to clue him back together. Poorly."

"So the emperor knows you're alive," Obi-Wan said flatly. "This will definitely lessen your chances of moving around unseen or unscathed. The emperor will consider you a danger to his plans."

"Or an ally." He corrected dryly. "Palpatine used to trust me. He might still. He might be my key to get in close."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Palpatine trusts no one. I doubt he ever trusted you. You were simply another piece of the puzzle. He knew your power, Anakin." He considered for a moment. "But he doesn't know that you know that. Did you tell him where you were going?"

"No." He shook his head a little. "Though, I think he knew I was going to the Temple first."

Thoughtfully stroking his chin, Obi-Wan thought for a moment. He glanced out one of his dingy windows, noting the first sun descending into the horizon. A chill went up his spine. He stood and went for more tea. "There's a chance he knew you would hunt me out," he replied softly.

"You said yourself," Anakin pointed out, rising to his feet himself, and pacing over to one of the windows, watching the sand swirl around outside. "The Republic...Empire...whatever it is right now. It has no power here. Jabba won't stand for invasion."

Obi-Wan smiled fondly at him. "Whatever you do, I know there will be great risks involved, my old Padawan. So you are intent on this course?"

Turning back, Anakin offered his former Master a very serious look.
"What else do you propose I do?" He wondered. "Just fade into the background, and watch this happen? Just...just..." Shaking his head in frustration, he groaned and let his head fall against the wall. "I can't do that. Not yet. It's not how I'm programmed."

Obi-Wan laughed harshly and shook his head. "Programmed." He smiled wryly at the younger man. "Go. Meditate. Listen to the Force. If this path is truly yours, you will know. But now is not the time for hasty decisions. How long have you been free of that terrible place?"

"Less than a standard week." He sighed, closing his eyes tiredly. "It took a while to catch a ride here..." When his eyes opened again, they looked less dead than before. He looked furious. "And, that's just it!" He burst out. "Obi-Wan...I spent five years in Hell because of Ventress." He hissed. "Dooku trained her! If I can't kill her, killing her Master's people is the next best thing. You said my imposter fell? Fabulous. I'll take him, and the Emperor out while I'm at it. I'll save the Sith damned galaxy now, while I have a chance to, and then I will be able to disappear." Then. Only then. Not a day before. Not a second before.

Obi-Wan reached out and grabbed Anakin's hand. "I know. Rest first," he urged. "Stay here for just a little bit. Regain your strength and your bearings. Only when you are truly one with the Force again can you fight as you desire. Right now you are giving into your anger, into your hate. We...I just got you back, Anakin. I cannot lose you again."

Sighing deeply, Anakin tried to calm.

"I've always been told my emotions make me stronger." He snorted, staring down at his grasped hand, his gaze empty again. "Even now...when I'm technically allowed to...you're still not letting me use them..."

"Not hate, not anger," Obi-Wan corrected. "Those have led many down the dark side." He sighed and tightened his grip. "At least rest. The journey you are about to embark on is a terrible one. You will need your strength." And I need time as well... Still watching Obi-Wan's hand holding his own, Anakin finally sighed and nodded.

"For a while..." He agreed softly. "I don't know how long, though."

Obi-Wan nodded solemnly. "That'll be good enough for me." He gestured. "More tea?"

Eyeing the pot for a moment, Anakin glanced back up at him with almost childish hope.

"Do you have something stronger? Maybe?" He couldn't seem to recall having ever gotten drunk...If he was going to go running off to his death, Tatooine's alcohol was a good way to send it off, it seemed.

Obi-Wan shook his head. A wry smile played on his lips. "No. I didn't think it safe considering my…situation. Too much temptation, I suppose you can say." He glanced out the window again. "It was agreed that I would stay here and protect Luke from the Empire. Unfortunately, I am not allowed close enough to teach him anything of his heritage."

"You're not allowed?" Anakin raised an eyebrow at him. "According to who?"

Obi-Wan carefully folded his hands. "His caretakers. It was assumed best to leave him in their charge."

"Bantha fodder." Anakin declared, rolling his eyes, and crossing his arms over his chest. "He's my wife's son, and I say we're going to visit him. Soon."

Obi-Wan remembered the fear in Owen's eyes. He stared at his hands. A fear in something as natural as the Force..."And what else do you propose to do?" he inquired drolly. "Owen believes you to be Darth Vader. He will not greet you with open arms."

"Master," Now his former Padawan just looked exasperated. "Do I look like a Sith Lord to you?"

Obi-Wan laughed and shook his head. "No. I suppose not." He smiled at Anakin. "I suppose it's been a long day for me, as well. Or maybe I'm getting old."

"It's possible." Anakin agreed teasingly.

Obi-Wan smiled wryly and gripped Anakin's hand one last time before standing. "Would you like something to eat? I don't have much."

"Food?" A small smile curved Anakin's lips slightly, which he promptly licked in mild excitement. "Solid food? I can't seem to remember the last time I ate solid food..."

"I should have offered you some rather than tea earlier." He waved for Anakin to remain sitting and began looking around the humble kitchen. What looked like enough before looked like nothing now, as he recalled Anakin's appetite.

"We can go see Luke later..." Anakin mused, trying not to blush as his stomach grumbled under the enticing aromas. "Probably today, even." He couldn't say he was looking forward to visiting the Lars homestead again. The last time he'd been there, his mother had died. Somehow, these circumstances seemed lacking in more cheer.

Finally finding something, Obi-Wan pulled it out of the cabinet. A moment later, he was making a humble dinner. He heard Anakin's stomach grumble and smiled a little. "Food first, of course," he replied teasingly.

"Food always comes first, Master." Anakin confirmed, before frowning a bit at the title. "I should probably stop calling you that..."

Obi-Wan smiled fondly at him. "Call me what you feel comfortable with, Anakin. More tea?"

Nodding slightly, and scooting his mug forward, Anakin continued to ponder that new little issue. "But, you're not, anymore..." He mumbled. "It'd be...improper...or something...wouldn't it?"

Obi-Wan chuckled before turning back to the food. It would be a cool meal, but it'd work. "We never stop learning, Anakin. In that way, that term is never truly improper."

"That's not what I meant." Nervously, he felt behind his ear, where his Padawan braid should have been. "I meant...I'm not a Jedi, anymore. If I ever really was, I certainly can't be now."

Obi-Wan stopped messing with the food and turned to him. "You still have your powers, Anakin. Being a Jedi does not mean having the braid or being in the temple." He stared seriously at Anakin's sober face. "Our options are limited, but if you choose to be a Jedi, the Force will aid you."

"Obi-Wan," Anakin met his gaze, his own faltering unsurely. "All the Jedi are is a religion! One that I can't follow. I've tried, I-" His voice fell under the strain of his rising tone. "Master Yaddle was imprisoned...she stayed true to the Jedi way. She...she didn't give into feelings of the dark side...I tried..." He repeated, his voice cracking again. This time not from physical but emotional strain. "I couldn't. I hate her...I hate Ventress so much...and, while I was there...I even hated you, for abandoning me..."

Food abandoned, propriety abandoned, Obi-Wan rushed to Anakin's side and held him tightly. He felt Anakin trembling in his arms. "Being a Jedi is not religion. It's simply proper control of the Force." He tightened his grip on Anakin. "And I will never knowingly abandon you. Ever."

"But, you did..." He mumbled into his former Master's chest. "When I needed you. And I-Force, I spent years brooding over it!"

Obi-Wan stroked Anakin's back, feeling something break inside of him. "Never knowingly," he repeated. "I...I had only seen your imposter . . . thought you were lost to us like that. I never suspected the truth."

"I...I'm married." Anakin tried again, desperate to find some reason to justify feeling so unworthy to return to the Jedi. "Or, I was. Jedi can't do that. It's against the Code."

Obi-Wan laughed weakly. "Code. And look where it got us?" He shook his head. "That Code was intended to aid in the concentration of the Jedi, something that obviously failed miserably. A true Jedi is a person one with the Force and who uses his powers to aid the Galaxy, not allowing himself to be ruled by his hate. No more."

"Didn't we just cover the whole hating thing?" He was certain they had...

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Everyone hates, Anakin. It's the control behind the hate that leads one down their individual path. Those who use it for their own purposes become Dark. Those who find a better way are usually Light."

Peeking up at him, Anakin sighed grimly, and allowed his expression to relax a bit.

"I've missed you," He decided, allowing a small smile to twitch on his lips.

Darth Vader flashed through Obi-Wan's mind. He tried not to tighten his grip further. "I missed you, too."

Reaching up, Anakin's arms almost automatically encircled his waist, returning the hug.

"At least I didn't have any nightmares earlier, that I'm aware of..." The younger mused, having apparently found the bright side of the situation. "Maybe the drugs are wearing off..."

For a moment, Obi-Wan allowed himself to lean against Anakin. The younger man's hair reeked of the desert sand, and he wrinkled his nose a little. But he didn't stand back up. "Your metabolism was always fast," he murmured.

"They usually last longer than that, that's all." The blonde explained. "But...I don't really know when the last time they gave them to me was..."

Obi-Wan shook his head and reluctantly peeled himself away from the younger man. "All the more reason I should get your food," he murmured.

Anakin smiled honestly this time. It might have been the first real smile on his face since he'd arrived, in fact. It was an amazing change...he seemed to light up. It made Obi-Wan wonder about something, though. The life that seemed to spark when the younger man smiled just made the dead air to him, when he wasn't, all the more obvious. It inspired a question that he normally wouldn't have, under any normal circumstances, asked.

"Anakin...how horrible was it?" He wondered, busying himself with preparing the food, so he wouldn't have to meet his former apprentice's gaze. Anakin had told him the raw facts, like any good Jedi would. But there was that dead, soullessness to the young man that hadn't been explained. He needed emotions, opinions, to understand that.

"It made Nar Shadaa look like the crèche." When Anakin had been in the smuggler's moon's spice mines, he'd thought he'd been left to rot in Hell. Now it seemed like child's play. At least he'd been used to slavery! To the endlessly long hours of monotonous, labor filled days. Slavery hurt his pride, and made him bitter but...confinement he hadn't been prepared for. Every day he'd felt a small piece of his soul chip away until he was unsure of how much was left.
Obi-Wan felt his breath catch, and for a moment he had to close his eyes. He tried to get over that quickly, though.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured.

Anakin shrugged, seemingly unaffected by his proclamation. "They'll pay. Keep an animal caged too long, and it will lash out."

Obi-Wan shook his head weakly, hiding the faint tremble of his hands as he prepared Anakin's plate. When he turned around, his face was unreadable. "Eat, and then rest," was all he said. He placed Anakin's plate on the table and sat down across from him.

Anakin watched him in silence for a few minutes, before obeying.

"Have you been into town, yet?" He wondered conversationally, mostly just wanting to get the topic off of himself.

Obi-Wan smiled a little at the change in topic. "Once or twice. Enough times to be called 'Crazy Old Ben.'" He shook his head. "I already have a slight reputation."

"Ben?" Anakin echoed, raising an eyebrow. "How did they manage to get 'Ben' out of Obi-Wan?"

Smiling wryly, Obi-Wan shook his head and leaned on his palms. "Obi-Wan. Old Ben. Apparently, 'Ben' is a far more familiar name than 'Obi-Wan.' I went along with it. It improves my 'disguise.'"

"I see..." Snorting in amusement, Anakin took a few more bites, before asking his next question. "Been in the Cantina, yet? The spacers used to say it has some of the most potent booze on the Outer Rim. I was hoping for a first hand opinion on the matter."

"It's interesting," Obi-Wan admitted, eyes darkening a little. "I doubt it's the most potent, though." He smiled at Anakin. "Would you like to go with me to try some before you leave?"

"Most definitely." He rarely did anything without a reason. This was no different. "Alcohol is something everyone should try, at least once, right?"

Obi-Wan looked him over thoughtfully. He sized up his slender, half-starved frame. Raising a single eyebrow, Obi-Wan said simply, "I will be there when you try it."

Anakin was loosening up quite a bit, now that the harsh details were out of the way, and the setting was growing somewhat more relaxed. He actually laughed, in response to that. He couldn't seem to remember the last time he'd laughed...It would have had to be before Praesitlyn...but, how far before, he couldn't recall.

"Should I feel insulted, or reassured?" He chuckled, pleased that his voice was holding up to the strain, feeble though it still was.

Obi-Wan only chuckled and shook his head. He glanced at the faint remnants of Anakin's food. "More?"

"You do love me." Anakin teased him, before nodding. He'd forgotten how much he appreciated the need for chewing at meals, too...It hadn't been necessary with the gruel Ventress had fed him. "Thank you, Ma-Obi-Wan." He added quickly.

The warm smile came unbidden to Obi-Wan's lips. Silently, he dished Anakin another plate, as well as making himself one. He had forgotten his own hunger in mind of Anakin's. He carried the plats to the table. "Anytime."

Obeying Obi-Wan's commands to eat and rest, Anakin finished the food quickly, and allowed his former Master to steer him back toward the sleep mat. It was dark, by the time the food had been consumed, anyway.

"Where will you sleep?" He wondered, reasonably curious.

At the thought, Obi-Wan looked around. His home was humble in its very nature, intended for a hermit. A guest was the last thing he expected. He hesitated a moment. "I will meditate and sleep by the kitchen," he decided. "It won't be the worst place I've slept." He pushed Anakin towards the mat. "Sleep now."

"You don't have to." Anakin frowned guiltily. "I don't want to take your bed away from you. Sleeping on the floor's not bad, I don't mind."

Obi-Wan shook his head and gently pushed the younger man so he fell on the mat. "After all this time, you deserve a mat. The floor won't kill me." Especially since your impersonator couldn't do it. "You should rest."

"Well, at least stay with me." This was more of a command than an offer. Apparently, that was another facet of Anakin's personality that hadn't changed with time and solitude. "I won't be the reason you're sleeping on the floor."

It was a facet of Anakin's personality that Obi-Wan had not realized he had missed so much. "Anakin, I wouldn't want to disrupt your rest."

"You won't." A leaky roof hadn't managed to disrupt his sleep, after the first few months, Obi-Wan certainly wouldn't. "I'm tired of sleeping cold."

Obi-Wan hesitated, sitting beside Anakin. "The floor doesn't bother me," he said one last time, earnestly.

"Well, it bothers me." The young man's eyes lacked any humor, as he finally slipped out of his filthy thermal cloak, revealing the full extent of the hardly useful tatters that remained of his tunic, and visible scars on his arms and chest, too, for the first time since his arrival. "So, stay put. I better not find you on the floor, in the morning."

Obi-Wan lightly fingered the scars. His fingers trembled. He blamed it on weariness. "You won't," he replied softly. When he realized what he was doing, he pulled his hand back. "Since you are the guest . . . what side would you like?"

"Obi-Wan, I'm really not that picky." Anakin smirked briefly, before his gaze followed to the scar that Obi-Wan had been touching the last. He remembered them all clearly. How he'd received each and every one of them. "It's alright." He promised, dragging his eyes back up to meet his former teacher's. "You can touch them, if you want. I don't care. They're pretty bad, I know."

Obi-Wan shook his head and looked away. "I have no right to such things." He shook his head mirthlessly. "Lay down, Anakin. Guests first."

Anakin eyed him for a moment, before grinning ferally, and flat out tackling him down. They both ended up sprawled with very little dignity across the mat, tangled up in each other.

"There." The blonde laughed, resting his head on Obi-Wan's chest. "This is the side I want."

For a moment, Obi-Wan's breath caught, whether out of surprise at the action, surprise at the intimacy, or just a reaction to a touch after so long as a hermit, he didn't know. He didn't care, either. Smiling involuntarily, Obi-Wan nodded. "You always do come up with unorthodox plans, Anakin," he commented wryly, laying his head back.

"My ways are always more effective, when they work." He pointed out. The boy curled up on himself, as he was used to doing from the cramped quarters of his prison cell. He did, however, alter the position ever so slightly, leaving an arm draped over Obi-Wan's waist, in a half embrace, nodding quickly off to sleep.

For a long time after Anakin dozed off, Obi-Wan couldn't sleep. Thoughtfully, he stared at the casual, almost possessive arm wrapped around his waist. Anakin always did find new ways to surprise him. He almost put an arm around Anakin several times, but each time, noting Anakin's otherwise protective positioning, he stopped himself. Instead, he lay on his back, staring at that slender arm.

You, more than anyone else, disrupted my Jedi calm. And ever after all this time, you can do it so easily.

---

Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's all right
All right with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside your door
And listen to you breathing
That's where I want to be, yeah
Breathing (Lifehouse, No Name Face)

---

Continued in Chapter Three