I walked into the Balamb Harbour Hotel and went to the receptionist.

"May I help you?" Now this receptionist is a babe.

"The name's Squall Leonhart, Super Sleuth." I winked at her.

"Ah, yes, right this way, Squall" She fluttered her eyelashes. I'm gonna ask this girl out...

"Here, Squall, Miss Heartilly's been waiting for you."

"Hey, how about us two getting together over a candlelit dinner?" I whispered into the receptionist's ear. She giggled.

"Mr Leonhart?" Rinoa Heartilly stood up to greet me. Woah, now would you look at that body...

"Y-yes?" I answered her, googly-eyed.

"Don't you want to sit down?" Miss Heartilly asked me with a puzzled tone. I sat down with out a word, and continued to stare. Miss Heartilly looked at me, confused, then took her seat.

"I guess you know why I am here." Miss Heartilly started.

"Yeah, because you reckon I'm the best detective around." I answered. Miss Heartilly gave me another puzzled look.

"No, because Seifer Almasy is my ex, and you're the cheapest there is. I really don't want to spend too much money on this case. It's just because those rings mean a lot to me. It was passed down our family line for generations. Ever since Queen Elizabeth I ruled!" Yeah, right, those rings were stolen from me. And they were bought from a pawn shop for $50 each!!

"Seifer Almasy was your ex?!" Now, that's something to tell Quistis about!

"I DON'T want to talk about it." There was a moment of silence. Must...break...silence...

"I don't wanna be rude or anything, but..." I scratched my chin.

"Yes?"

"I've decided to change my payment to the two rings, if they are found. Otherwise, we'll stick to my original payment of five grand." Suddenly, Miss Heartilly gave me the most vicious glare. Her eyes started to twitch. I gulped.

"NO! NEVER! YOU WILL EXCEPT MY OFFER!!!" Miss Heartilly stood up and banged the table.

"Okay, okay, fine." I was pretty freaked out. This spoilt, beautiful, mean thief of a lady, is my first ever client. Miss Heartilly calmed herself down and sat back down.

"Now, where were we?" she said calmly. Then this "thing" covered in fur jumped out of nowhere and landed on top of me.

"Argh! Get him off!!!! HELP ME!!! ZELL!! WHERE ARE YOU?!!! GET THIS THING OFF ME!!! AHHHH!!!!" I was panicking my head off. The "thing" started to lick me.

"Here, Angelo. Come here, did the mean, ugly man hurt you?" Miss Heartilly cooed to the "thing" which seems to go by the name of Angelo. In my opinion, it looked more like a fluffy hand bag than a dog.

"If you happen to know, I won the "Most Good-looking and Charming yet Unsuccessful Guy in the Universe" award!" I said in defence. Miss Heartilly ignored me. The "thing" named Angelo started to drool. Urgh.

"There, there, it's alright, Angelo, I'll protect you from the mean, ugly man." Then she slapped me across the face. I was in shock.

"What did you do that for?!" I asked, rubbing my cheek, which seems to be going red.

"That's for being mean to my dog!"

"That's a dog? I thought it's a living fluffy handbag!" Then Miss Heartilly kicked me in the shins. I hopped around the room in pain.

"And that's for insulting my dog!" Then she stuck her nose in the air. Bum.

"You know," I started to walk around the room to see if I can still walk, yet there was a slight limp. "I think I'm going not to like you." I said with a scowl.

"Well I don't like you, either."

"Then that's settled. Now, to business." I sat down. Miss Heartilly followed my suit. I took out my notebook and pen. "So tell me, when was the last time you saw those rings?"

"Last Saturday night, I think. There was a big party on at our mansion."

"And when did you notice that the rings went missing?"

"The next morning. I polished them the morning before, and let them dry. I forgot about them until I woke up."

"So the sequeance of events goes: Took rings off, polished rings, forgot about rings until the next morning, woke up to find them missing?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Where do you wear these rings?"

"That's a personal question."

"Who cares, I'm the detective, you're the client, and you do whatever I think best."

"Fine. I wear them as pendents on this silver necklace I wear around my neck." Miss Heartilly showed me the ringless necklace. Suddenly, Zell burst in.

"Well, that took a while! You're late!" I said crossedly at Zell.

"Sorry, Squall, but the trains were delayed!"

"Ah well, forget it. Take a look at these." I gave Zell my notebook. He started to read. It seemed like he knew what was going on, unlike me, who didn't have a clue.

"You wear the rings around your neck?" Zell asked Miss Heartilly. She nodded.

"That's what I said." She added. The "thing" was licking my shoe. I tried to ignore it.

"In other words," Zell came to a conclusion, "the culprit - well, culprits, in this case - must have knew that you have taken it off that day! It must be someone you know! Can we see your guest list?" Zell was getting excited.

"Sure, I'll give it to you as soon as possible." Miss Heartilly stood up to leave. Then she looked at me. "Now, THAT'S a detective." She pointed at Zell.

"That's why he's my assistant." I smirked. Miss Heartilly raised an eyebrow. I must have said something stupid...

"Maybe, YOU should be the assistant" She turned around, and left, with the "thing" following her, it's tongue lolling out of its mouth and dripping with drool, creating a river of drool on the velvety carpet. Zell started to sit in Miss Heartilly's seat. And before his buttocks can reach the seat cushion (which was very comfy), Miss Heartilly came back with the guest list.

"Here's the list." I reached my hand for it, but she handed it to Zell. Obnoxious snob, that girl. Zell grabbed it.

"That was fast." Zell muttered loudly.

"What did you expect? It will come tomorrow? I'm not that kind of person." Miss Heartilly said, with one hand on her hip. Zell nodded without a thought and began to read.

"Lemme see, lemme see!" I tried to look over while still sitting. Then I fell of my chair with a crash! I stood up again, pretending that nothing happenned. People starred at me.

"What?" I asked. The people just turned away. I shrugged. "Whatever."

Rinoa was telling Zell who made it to the party and who didn't.

"Did any of these people call you before the party started?" Zell asked.

"Yeah, my best friends, Ultimecia and Adel." Miss Heartilly replyed. Zell froze.

"Did you say, 'Ultimecia'?" Zell asked.

"Yeah, why?" asked Miss Heartilly, confused.

"Uh, nothing." Zell stuttered, but I heard him mutter to himself "...except she nearly killed me in a hotdog contest..."

"Did you say something?" Miss Heartilly asked, as she noticed Zell muttering to himself.

"Me? Moi? Never!" Zell replyed, trying to keep a straight face of innocence. Miss Heartilly shrugged, then began to manicure her nails.

"Hmm, well, I guess Ultimecia and Adel didn't do it, since they never went to the party..." I added in helpfully. Zell had to restrain himself from slapping his forehead.

"Squall, you idiot, they might have..."

"Of course they didn't! They're my best friends! I trust them with my life!" Miss Heartilly placed a hand over her heart. Such loyalty...

Zell, however, didn't seem convinced.

"I still think..."

"Look, Zell, I'm the detective, and you're the assistant. That means I know more than you."

"Whatever." Zell used my word. 'Whatever' is MY word!!! Word snatcher.

"Oops, I gotta go, I have to meet up with some friends." Miss Heartilly left.

"Hey, Squall, so what do you think of of out first ever client?" Zell asked excitedly.

"You seem excited."

"Well, she seemed pretty nice, except when she was arguing with you about who will be the detective, that was kinda weird..."

"I hate her guts."

"Why?"

"She slapped me."

"Huh?"

"Because she thought I was hurting her dog! And she called me 'mean and ugly'!!!"

"Wha...?"

"And that's not all! She kicked me in the shins!!!"

"Uh..."

"Because I thought her dog was a fluffy handbag!!!"

"Fluffy handbag?! How did you get that idea?"

"You know me, I just do."

"Oh yeah..."

"So why were you late?" I asked Zell suspiciously.

"M-me?! I told y-you, it was a bus delay..."

"You said train before."

"It was a bus AND train delay!"

"Come on, Zell, spit it."

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Never."

"With a cherry on top?"

"Get a life."

"That's it. I'm gonna fire you..."

"Alright! I'll tell you..." Zell cleared his throat.

"Well?"

"I had to go to the toilet."

"Mumber One or Number Two?"

"Two."

"Really?"

"But it wasn't good."

"Why?"

"Remember the numerous chilly hotdogs I ate yesterday?"

"Yeah?"

"Well...it digested."

"Ooooh...was it bad?"

"What do you mean 'was it bad?' IT WAS HORRIBLE!!! This burning feeling in my butt each time it came out..."

"DON'T SAY ANYMORE!!!"

"But you asked..." Zell grinned at my pain. Suddenly I felt a lurch in my stomach.

"Excuse me..." I ran to the men's room. I could feel my breakfast move up the oesophagus. I pushed the door open.

"Almost there..." I said to myself. I tried to look for a vacant toilet, but they were all engaged.

"Come on, come on..." I muttered, while jumping at the same time. Then a door opened and a guy walked out. I ran to the vacant toilet. Unfortunately...

"BLEAGH!!!!"...it all came out. And on top of the guy. He wiped his face, which was covered in my puke. And the guy was...

"Hi, Seifer." I said, sheepishly."

"You're gonna pay for this, Leonhart!!!" Seifer waved a vomit-covered fist at me. Bits of vomit flew in the air.

"Hey, Squall, you were lookin' green in the face, and you just ran to the bathroom, I was wondering if you-" Zell paused "-were okay..." Seifer looked angrily at him. Zell smiled sheepishly.

"Yo, Seifer, s'up?"

AN: Okay, okay, the last bit was gross. Who cares. And Squall IS going to have a problem with Angelo, so don't make any animal-cruelty queries. Next scenario, coming soon!