|Welcome to the Woods of Insanity
Author: Miss Meryl PM
What do you get when you start with tampons, Malfoy's suitcase, Hermione, Harry, Ron in a facial mask and 1 month of living in the muggle forest? Answer... a whole lot of laughs!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,995 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12-11-05 - Published: 09-06-05 - id: 2568662
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hi people! I just had to rite sumthing under Harry Potter, I mean come on… it's like the best book series in the world! ---can I hear a Yea-Yah!--- LOL anyway, I shall not interfere with your reading (much) R&R as always, luv 2 hear from you all. I don't own Harry Potter!
Four suitcases lay by the gates, one pink and purple, two green and blue, the last black.
Harry Potter never thought that he would see the day that he, Ron, Hermione and Malfoy would be camping together. The thought was inconceivable!
And yet as ludicrous as the whole idea was, here he stood…standing at the gates of Hogwarts, gazing miserably back at the castle he would not see for another month.
"Come on Harry!" Hermione cried, rushing to the horseless carriages, grabbing the purple case, "don't want to miss the train!"
"Yeah, wouldn't want that," Ron replied, taking one of the green and blue ones, so only Harry could hear, "geeze, we may actually miss the worst bloody holiday in the history of the world."
Harry grinned, "Yeah, even goblin history'll beat the crap out of this one."
"Move on there Potter!" Malfoy spat, taking the second green and blue one. "let's get this retarded show over with."
"I disapprove of the word 'retarded' Malfoy," said Hermione, "it is rude, offensive and uncalled for."
Malfoy sneered and muttered something where the words 'retarded, holiday' and 'Mudblood' were distinguishable.
"Don't worry," Harry muttered as Ron made to hit Malfoy, "we'll have plenty of time to get him back."
Ron nodded and unclenched his fists.
Harry grabbed the remaining case, and followed his friend.
"For your project this term," Dumbledore said to the year sevens, "Four people will be taken from this bag of names and will spend the month in the muggle world. They will cook, clean and live in the woods, surviving with each other."
"Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. Congratulations, you will have the privilege of leaving next week."
"How can Dumbledore do this?" Ron seethed. "This should be illegal."
"It will be an experience Ron," Hermione said, "make the most of it. Besides, you realize how much extra bits work I have to do to make up for our time away? I'll be writing notes all month!"
The boys rolled their eyes.
"Notes?" Ron said skeptically, "she can write a whole bloody novel on dragon fertilizer!"
"Yeah," Harry said, "but don't forget: as soon as she's bored with her notes, she'll start on ours."
They nodded and made their way out of the hall.
It was an hour wait at the train station, and they all split up. Hermione for a book, Malfoy for a 'babe,' and Harry and Ron stayed by the luggage.
"Harry," said Ron suddenly.
They grinned and rushed to it as fast as they could to the cases.
Harry unzipped Hermione's case and pulled something out.
"What are you doing?" Cried Ron, staring at the pack reading 'tampons'
Laughing, Harry sent the red haired male to keep watch, and slipped Hermione's toiletries into the blue and green case.
Harry and Ron sat laughing quietly on the train; their glee could hardly be contained as they thought of the surprise in store for Malfoy.
"I'm hungry," Ron said at noon.
"You're always hungry." Hermione replied shortly.
Ron rolled his eyes and reached for his bag, looking in it for the lollies he had placed there that morning.
Harry looked up to see Ron, his face pale, his ears red and shaking uncontrollably.
Ron stood and dragged Harry from the compartment, along with the bag.
"Harry," Ron whispered in the hall, "which bag did you put them in?"
"What?" Harry was confused.
Ron made sure the other two were still in the compartment, and he tipped the bag over so Harry could see the contents:
A green and white scarf, an emerald handled toothbrush, a pair of socks bearing the initials D.M in green.
The bag was Malfoys! They had slipped Hermione's tampons into Ron's bag!
If anyone has suggestions for me, for future chapters, please e-mail me! R&R and if you c someone without a smile…give them 1 of yours