Always Chasing Butterflies

This story is just a short story and it was written by:

.X.Phoenix.X. and xoCandyxo

---

A/N: I do not own Fruits Basket or any of their characters, (obviously).

---

The rain poured down on the Earth with heavy drops, each sounding like a hammer hitting a nail. I remember the day as clear as anything, a memory I wouldn't trade for the world. The sky was a menacing gray, like it was just waiting to swallow you up. The clouds blocked out any light the sun could have provided as it acted as though a filter, only a few rays being able to pierce its thickness. The ground seemed to be drowning in water as a white haze appeared due to the impact of the water onto the solid floor. Taking a deep breath, I felt the rain drops on my shoulders, each piercing me like a thorn through my skin.

My uniform was plastered to my skin as I regretted not changing after leaving the dojo. The dark gray sweater that I had draped around my shoulders was soaking wet as I felt rain water drip down my cheeks like tears. No. I wouldn't cry. I couldn't make my family any more ashamed of me.

My feet kicked out as I sat on the tall stone wall that faced the gas station, staring blankly at the flashing lights of cars passing by or the honking horns as everyone rushed home, to get away from the rain, and back to their families. I, too, would have been on my way home, but this weather... it was depressing, and I couldn't find the energy to jump down, that, and I hadn't the lightest sense of direction in which way the Sohma houses were. I could wait this storm out, and I knew no one would be searching for me, so why not wait it out?

"Stupid rain," I muttered as I shook my hair, orange flashes surrounding my head as my hair flopped around. Taking my hand up to ruffle my hair a bit, I cursed under my breath, my eleven year old vocabulary pretty stretched. "Stupid bracelet," I said with my teeth clenched, half of me wanting to just grab the bracelet and rip it off my wrist and to watch gleefully as the beads I had been bound with for my life scatter themselves among the mud and dirt.

My eyes seemed to water as I recalled all the pain the simple set of beads could bring me, or the painful memories they reminded me every time I heard the beads hit each other with the same bone chilling sound. I am cursed. Cursed. I live outside, alone. Even though I have Master, he could never understand. No one could understand. No one. The cat was born to be alone, to be shunned and forgotten. And I, as the cat, must fulfill my duty, no matter what.

Looking up with my saddened eyes, the gas station lights would flicker on and off, the air around it smelling like car freshener and potato chips, which made me long even more for what I missed. My mother... killed herself, my father left me, claiming I was the cause of her death. He said she killed herself because of me, and that I killed her. But... it's not my fault. No. It's not my fault... Shaking my head to rid myself of the tears that dripped down my face, it seemed like they burned lines down my skin, like poisonous tears.

Hearing a screeching of wheels, my head slowly turned to my right, where the busy road way was. There were several car tires screeching as they slid and veered sideways, a single red motorcycle speeding between the two lanes, popped up on one wheel and riding like the driver had no care in the world. Watching, the rider was wearing a black trench coat with a pair of red wings on the back, and a black helmet concealed the driver's head. How much I would give... to just be able to hop on that bike and just drive off to another life. But... I wasn't old enough. And don't have a motorcycle, or money to get myself any further away than I could walk.

While the motorcyclist sped away, the tail lights making the eerie shape of a butterfly as it hit a bump and seemed to fly, but instead just hanging in the air for a few seconds before the tires hit the ground again. I felt myself hold my breath as I expected the tires to spin out from under the motorcycle on the slick watery road, but they didn't, and I could actually feel my breath. As I saw the tires spinning inches from the ground and the tail lights like shooting stars, I made a wish on it. Not that I ever expected the wish to come true, I was old enough to accept that, but it was more of a way of entertainment.

The rain was still pouring, but I didn't notice any more, my attention on the motorcycle that pulled into the gas station. I envied the family of the rider, to think how exciting it must be to know someone like that.

"Hey Kyoko, here again? How many gallons you going to spend riding circles in that thing?" Someone shouted from their car at the rider. They had dismounted the bike and was filling it up with gas before waving at the speaker in the car. Pressing their body against the pump so they could take off their helmet, I felt myself give off a small laugh, one that said 'as if'.

I don't know why, but the way the motorcycle tore through the night, I had assumed the rider was a he. But, when the helmet was pulled off, orange hair, like mine, fell down, close to her elbows. I couldn't see her face or anything, seeing how the gas station and its shelter was several feet away from the wall I was sitting on, but I thought that she seemed like a kind person. Despite the fact that she looked like she could easily kick my ass. Which I would hope never happened.

"Shut up," she said playfully as she watched the numbers go up as she filled her tank. "It's my night off, and figured a good run for old times sakes would be good."

I saw the person lean out of the passenger window and say something to the woman, Kyoko, and then, before I knew it, they both turned and looked at me. My eyes widening, I didn't know what to do, so I turned away, my hands under my legs as I sat alone on the rock wall in the pouring rain, trying to avoid their stares. The last thing I needed was someone getting mad at me for being out in the rain.

"Yo, orange top, mind if I take a seat?"

My eyes widening, I gave a small shake of my head before turning to see the lady, Kyoko, sitting next to me, her orange hair plastered down as she too became drenched by the merciless downpour. "I don't care, you don't need to ask my permission, it's not like I own the wall," I said bravely, then noticing what I had said and cupping my hands over my mouth.

But, she didn't get mad that I was fresh. She wasn't like other adults. Instead, she laughed. And not a cruel laugh, like I often heard Akito give, and not a mocking laugh like Shigure would give at Christmas if someone spilled something. It was a genuine, kind hearted laugh.

"I like you, kid. You're spunky," she said, still smiling, as she reached over and ruffled my hair, making it stand on end for a short while before it drooped down again due to the rain. I pulled away, but smiled a bit. "I'm Kyoko. Or as they used to call me, the 'Legendary Red Butterfly'!" With a proud grin, she turned her back to show off the back of her jacket, the red wings seeming to burst from her jacket.

"Oh wow, a butterfly, sounds real dangerous," I said as I wondered to how, minutes before, I had thought of the tail lights of Kyoko's bike to be similar to a butterfly.

Again, she grinned. "So, you know my name, but do you have one? And there has to be a reason a punky kid like you is sitting out in the pouring rain alone..." She looked at me the way a mother cat would eye a stay kitten, like she wanted to help me, but was afraid of the attachment.

"It's Kyo. And I'm out here because... oh, never mind. You probably have better things to do than listen to me complain," I said, turning my back to her. Akito always told me that I wasted enough time in people's lives by just existing, and I didn't want to take any precious minutes out of anyone else's life.

I heard her sigh as she jumped off the wall. I thought she was leaving me, and felt the mixed emotion of anger and sorrow. What was I thinking? I barely knew the lady and I had the guts to expect a mother out of her? How dumb was I?

To my surprise, however, she did not jump down and leave. She stood there, infront of me, holding out her hand, waiting to see if I would take it. Just the way that she just happened to hold her hand out to mine where my bracelet was surprised me, for it reminded me of my own mother, who constantly checked my wrist for the bracelet. 'I love you' she said, but she only loved the human me, she never wanted to face the real me. No one could love the real me, and I was able to face this fact at the age of eleven. I hesitated, but took it.

"Where are we going?" I asked as she pulled me under the shelter of the gas station roof. Grabbing a blanket out of her motorcycle, which was still where she left it when she was getting gas, she wrapped it around my shoulders. "Why are you doing this?" I asked as she wrapped it tight around my soaking body, my martial arts uniform still dripping wet as puddles began around my bare feet.

Instead of directly answering my question, she had me sit down, and she sat next to me. "You're lonely, aren't you?" She asked me suddenly, her gaze looking down at me with sympathy as she patiently waited for my response.

"So what if I am? No one can understand what it's like to be me. I was born to be lonely. If that is even a reason to live." I replied harshly, biting my tongue after and regretting it. Turning my head away, all I saw was a smile plastered on her face.

Taking a small notebook from her pocket, which was in a small bag, which kept it dry, she unwrapped the book and held it out before us. Flipping it open, it was like a normal green notebook, except the pages had pictures stapled to them. She skipped by the first pages fairly fast, and stopped at maybe the tenth page. Looking curiously at the picture, she grinned.

"This is my daughter, Tohru. She's what, your age? How old are you?"

"Eleven," I said as I looked at the picture.

"Yes, she is your age. " Pointing at the picture of her daughter, I had to think that they didn't look very alike at all. "She's my treasure." Her daughter, Tohru, had brown hair, in contrast to her mother's wild orange hair. She looked cute though, if I was ever to use the word. Rolling my eyes, I couldn't help the comment that snuck from my mouth.

"She doesn't look too bright."

Shit. Why did I say that? Here she was, being all nice to me, and I tell her that her daughter looks dumb. I gave myself a mental slap in the face for saying something like that, but Kyoko laughed. She laughed.

"Yes, she can be a little off, but she's a good kid at heart. I think you two would get along," Kyoko said with a grin, looking at me.

I turned away again, not finding a way to look into her eyes. "What would make you go and say a dumb thing like that?"

"Because... I sure... she's lonely too." This time, I looked at her and she looked away, her face covered with a mask of emotions, but she was smiling like she was soaring through the air. She eventually did turn back and began thumbing though the pictures of her and her daughter.

"What happened to Tohru's dad?" I asked innocently, wanting to grab the note book and thumb through it, but keeping myself from, My hands and sleeves of my sweater were still dripping wet, and I wouldn't want to ruin Kyoko's pictures. How could I ruin something I envied? Memories, family...

"You really want to know?" she asked me, and I nodded. She took in a big sigh. "Well, to understand my story, you have to start way back, back in my gangster days as a yankee... See, back then was when..."

And so it began. Kyoko had begun to tell me her whole life story, from when she was in a gang, to the day she met her husband, to the day he died. She talked about the day Tohru was born, and how, once, she had almost killed herself.

"When I did that... or tried to... I think... I made her sad..." Her eyes looked like she was ready cry, but it was pretty hard to tell as we were both still dripping wet.

"But, why would you want to kill yourself?" I had asked her, my head turned to the side in confusion. "You're a butterfly, you can fly wherever the hell you want. Heck, I bet you could fly yourself to heaven right now if you gave a damn."

She looked at me and smiled. "I bet I could. But I'd want you and Tohru to watch me, so you can see me go to heaven and chase me there. I bet I'd win, too," she added, poking my nose and laughing.

I know.. that it was hard for her to tell me all about her life and how her husband died. And, before long, it was dark, and she even offered to walk me back to my house, where ever it was, but I refused. I didn't want... her memories erased. I wanted her to remember me.. forever.

"Promise me, you will take care of Tohru, if you two ever meet. Promise, you will look after her with as much love as you can, if anything happens to me...A 'Man's Promise'?"she said questioning me with her eyebrows arched. She held out her fist to me, and I looked up to see her smiling.Smiling, at me. I looked at her and questioned myself, Is she sane? Doesn't she know who I am? I'm the cat. But I looked at her smiling face and I lifted my braceleted fist, slowly but surely, up to her fist, and punched it, as if to seal the deal. She gave me a huge grin. Which made me smirk a bit.

"I like you," she said to me and ruffled my hair, tousling the red strands on my head. She stood up and took her helmet in her hands, looking at me questioningly. "You going anywhere?"

"Maybe, I don't know. I go where I please, I guess." I replied.

She took a spare helmet out of her bag and tossed it to me. "Come on, Spunky," she said as she tossed a leg over the seat of the bike.

Holding the helmet in my hands, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lead her to the Sohma estate, no, I don't want her to get hurt. Tossing it back, I told her that I was going to wait out the storm. She argued a little, but seeing how I wouldn't budge on the subject, she shrugged. The last thing I saw of her was her motorcycle popping a wheelie as the red butterfly flew away...

And I didn't see her for a few weeks, when we bumped into each other at random places. I think she summed it up that I was running away each of those times, but never said anything. We'd stop for small talk, and then she'd leave, her tail lights flashing in the dark night skies. Once, I saw her with her daughter, but Kyoko said Tohru was very emotional, which I interpreted into 'Tohru might hug you', so I watched from a corner as Kyoko and Tohru wandered around the market, large smiled plastered on both faces. Why can't... I have a mother like that?

Then, I didn't see Kyoko, or Tohru for that matter, for a few years. I think... the last time... last time... I saw Kyoko... was on her death day...

I remember that day too... it started just like the first time I met Kyoko, pouring rain that seemed to drown everything in tears. I had left the dojo early, but this time wasn't in uniform. In my khaki pants and black shirt, it had been nearly five years since I met Kyoko and seen her daughter last. Now sixteen, I pretty much accepted the fact that I had no parents, and not even Kyoko or Master could ever fill in the hole that was missing. No... they couldn't.

So here I was sitting, again, in the pouring rain, my energy washed away as I sat on the same wall at the gas station. But, it wasn't just some dump gas station in the middle of nowhere. There had been several buildings built around it, dwarfing the station, which was now near the center of the city. With a sigh, I rested my head on my hands as I hunched over, staring down into the puddles at the bottom of the wall. Cars flashed by and I felt an accident happening any time now, but deep down, I knew it was a horrible thing to even think about. But, it's their own damn fault if they speed and the tires slip out from underneath the car and kill the moron behind the wheel.

I had no clue how long I sat on the wall watching the traffic fly by. It was already late night until early morning, and I was still there. I had no place to go, why bother. And, the rainstorm carried on from the previous day, but it was already past its prime, the rain drops coming down less harsh, the pitter patter almost soothing. Almost.

"Stupid rain..."

Looking back at the roadway, my attention went forward to the busy intersection ahead. There were cars honking their horns and beeping, shouting swears out their windows at the traffic. Yells of 'Fuck', and 'Damn', rang in the early morning air, and the rain began to slow to a drizzle. The air began to smell like coffee as the gas station opened up, but all I could do was watch the intersection.

Just then, a pair of tailights flashed by, and just by the way they were going, I knew who it was. But, this Kyoko, was driving, not her motorcycle, but a green car, a car that looked so ordinary, that I had to look twice into the driver's window just to check that it was Kyoko. But it was.

She went speeding down the long roadway towards the intersection, and I saw the light turn yellow, but she was pretty much there, so she punched it. There was the red butterfly, tearing down the road.

But the next thing I saw, wasn't a favorable memory at all...

A cat, a wandering orange cat had wandered into the middle of the intersection. Hearing it's pitiful meows, it was crying, 'Where am I? What are these loud noises? I hate the rain!'

"Move!" I said quietly, hoping the stupid cat would move. But it didn't. It just stared around blankly. "Move.. move... MOVE!" I had nothing

But it stood there, in the middle of the intersection, eyes wide open in fear. Kyoko didn't see it, until right after her tires screeched and skidded around as she did her best to not hit the orange cat. That's her. Trying to save life...

Just then, the light turned green, and another car began to rip into the intersection. The driver seemed to see the green light, but not the green car that was uncontrollably moving in front of him. The foolish driver punched it on the gas, and it was a few precious moments before he hit Kyoko's car.

I'm not sure how, but the other car had picked up so much speed, that when it hit Kyoko's car, the other crunched up to where the car resembled a crushed can. My heart seemed to stop beating as my fists clenched together, watching Kyoko's car.

It was sent a good deal away, but good was hardly a word to use. Her car went flying towards a building, the sidewalk already clear, with several people already on their cell phones reporting the accident. As I watched, I prayed she wasn't dead. Prayed. The cat that had caused the accident had scampered from the scene and disappeared, oh, how I wish the whole accident could have disappeared too.

Kyoko's car was sent flying into the corner of a building, and I remember when the tail lights went out; like the butterfly lost her wings. I saw several people go rushing towards her, but, like she was my own mother, I ran quickly across the street, cars honking as they tried avoiding me. Pushing the several people who were near the car away, I felt like collapsing, not used to such movement in the rain.

Kyoko's hand was out the open window, and her face was bloody from a gash on her head from when she hit the dashboard or the wheel. The airbags went off, and she looked like she was only asleep.

I want you and Tohru to watch me, so you can follow me and chase me to heaven...

"DID SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE?" I shouted to the people who were gathered around the car. When I got no answer, I snapped. "WELL, SOMEONE CALL A GODDAMN AMBULANCE!" Several heads bobbed and my fists clenched.

It didn't take long for the ambulance to come and take Kyoko to the hospital. They said she was still alive, but they could only do what they could to make sure she could live. In other words, they had no fucking clue.

I wasn't allowed in the ambulance at first, because I wasn't her son or family member, so I found myself running to the hospital, which was a few blocks away. My clothes were still dripping wet, my sneakers making popping sounds as air bubbles gathered in them, but I didn't care. I didn't want to lose Kyoko, she was like my mother. And I didn't want to lose a mother again...

I arrived at the hospital maybe five minutes after she was brought in. She was sent for X-rays and they went through tons of procedures to see how bad the damage was, and all the while I was waiting in the waiting room, my head in my hands, feeling guilt run through my blood.

The cat.. it was orange... like me. And.. she died because of it... Was this a sign? Meaning something important that I just couldn't see? Shaking my head, I tried denying it. No. It's not my fault. It's not...

I fell asleep in that waiting room, my knees hugged close to my chest and my head rested on the wall behind me. I couldn't sit on a chair because I was soaking wet, so I made puddles while sitting on the floor. I was asleep for a few hours, and dreams of the accident haunted me.

It's your fault she died... YOUR fault... you killed her... like you killed your real mother...

The words kept repeating in my head and my body seemed like it was getting heavier and heavier with the weight of the guilt. Pulling myself up, my vision seemed blurry as I saw the light yellow walls of the hospital's waiting room. Stumbling up to the nurse's desk, my voice was shaky and I could barely recognize it for my own.

"What room is..." No... I didn't know Kyoko's last name... could I just ask for her first name? I mean, how many Kyokos could be registered in the fricken hospital? "Kyoko in? She was brought in a few hours ago from a car accident..."

"Ah, yes. Kyoko Honda. Room 113. You may visit her now, but don't worry, your mother will be fine."

As the nurse said it, my eyes opened. She wasn't my mother... As I nodded in thanks, another nurse came and talked to the other.

"How do you know that's her son?"

"They look the same, don't they? I mean, look at the hair!"

As the two nurses laughed, I rolled my eyes, wandering down the hallways, my eyes scanning the doors for 113. 111... 112... here. 113. The door was partially open, and I knew this was her room.

Kyoko looked so different in the hospital bed, like the life was drained out of her. Her face was extremely pale, and even her hair seemed like it was losing its color. She sat with her bed right next to the window, several machines and IVs around her.

"Kyo...?" She asked as I bumped into her dresser. So much for me trying not to make any noise. "Is that my orange-top? My, you've grown..." Although she tried adding laughter into her voice, I could hear it was dying.

"Yup. The one and only." I wasn't sure how I was able to open my mouth, let alone speak audible words. I saw her give me a small smile.

Turning to face me, her eyes were drained, like she was ready to fly off any time. "Kyo... remember your promise? All those years ago? I need you to keep it, a man's promise. I need you to keep it..."

My mind flashed back to when we first met, the promise she made me make.

Promise me, you will take care of Tohru, if you two ever meet. Promise, you will look after her with as much love as you can, if anything happens to me... A man's promise...

My mind flashing to the picture of the little girl she showed me years ago, I nodded my head, beads of water sprinkling off my hair. "I promise..."

"Oh my gosh! Where is she? Is she ok? Is she hurt?" I heard the panicked voice coming from the hallway and Kyoko recognized it as Tohru's. She told me to stay, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to meet Tohru at a time like this.

"Good bye," I muttered before slipping out of the room, seconds before a nurse lead a girl in. She was my age, so I guess it was Kyoko's daughter. Tohru's brown hair was tangled and wet from the rain, and her school uniform was wrinkled, maybe she was the one to twist it in her fingers when she was nervous.

"MOM!" I heard her cry as she threw herself to the floor, kneeling beside Kyoko's bed and weeping. Turning away, I couldn't take it.

It was a few days later that I was informed that Kyoko was dead. I heard some people talking about it while I sat on my spot on the wall next to the gas station. I did it. Again. I lost a mother. But... it wasn't my fault... it wasn't.

That was when I decided I needed to leave society for a while. To make myself stronger, so I could handle situations like this. As I began to walk back to the dojo, my mind was already scheming how Master and I could leave, to a forest or the mountains maybe. If I could crumble about something like death, I needed training to make me mentally more stable...

As I began my trek back to the Sohma land, I caught myself watching the road, as if to wait and see Kyoko on her motorcycle popping a wheelie down the street. I knew she couldn't, but for some reason, I still expected it. I saw a pair of butterfly wings flash by, and I followed them, not exactly sure what I was doing. In my head, I was making excuses for Master on why I wanted to leave the Sohma lands for a while...

Watching the butterfly fly before me, I felt a small smile creep onto my face, despite the terror and guilt I felt inside me. Staring at the wings, the butterfly suddenly took off, flying higher and higher until I could see it no more, for if I looked any higher, I would have blinded myself from the sunlight.

I want you and Tohru to follow me to heaven...

And thats when I knew, this was Kyoko's doing, in some way. And if it was, I am pretty sure her daughter was experiencing the exact same thing as me... As my gaze continued to rest on where I last saw the butterfly, I sighed. Do you think Kyoko ever told Tohru about me? Shrugging, I would never know.

Just then, another butterfly appeared, and it began flying back towards Sohma property, as if snapping me back, in one way or another. However it seemed, it feels like I've changed deeply inside. Now I know, I'll just always be chasing butterflies.

---

A/N: Well? What did you think? Please review:D, its my first Fruits Basket fanfic. I tried tying in everything from Volume 11 that they even hint at and... just review if you read! Please:)