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Forget To Remember
Chapter 3
Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon or the characters.
AN: Ok, so rather than a year, 6 months. Well, that's better than a year? And I can't say I've been writing all this time, that would be a lie. But I have had a mess of unfortunate events this year. My stepmother passed away in April after a long battle with cancer. My computer died around that same time too. Power surge, melted my motherboard or something. So I am working on a brand new Acer Aspire 3680 and I HATE Vista. I wouldn't hate it anymore if I had enough RAM (I'm broke now, can't afford to buy anymore. My bank account reads..3 dollars. Heh.). But that's another rant. So anyway, I really want to finish this story because I know what it's like to wait years for updates. I don't want to do that to you. Never think that my stories will go unfinished. So I've got my headphones on and Avril Lavigne is blaring out through them, you will get your chapter tonight.
Brief Recap: Darien is looking through a photo album of their life together while Serena has gone to get his pain prescriptions filled. Darien is determined to make things right and Serena is determined to put an extra barrier on her heart against him.
He sighed and shut the album. He was giving himself a headache and he had no idea when Serena would be back with his pills. He wished he wasn't so sore, this would be a great opportunity to try to see Serena's world when she wasn't here, watching him. He didn't mean to go through her things, but to just observe what she enjoyed. But he could take a moment to go through his things. Serena hated him, odds are he would find somethings in here that would give her cause to.
Slowly, he sat up and reached for his cane. Gritting his teeth, he stood up despite the pain and slowly walked over to his dresser. What kind of clothes did he wear? What cologne did he wear? He knew he was a doctor, but did he own anything like jeans and tshirts?
He opened the first drawer that seemed to house random things. There was a box of expensive looking pens and some kind of notebook. He pulled the notebook up and turned it to a random page. There were numbers written down with with looked like women's names besides them. His little black book? He tossed it back in the drawer, making a mental note that he would burn it later, and started to rummage deeper. He blanched when he found a roll of ribbed condoms. He knew that he and Serena hadn't had sex in years, so these weren't for her. He felt even more disgusted when he found a stack of pictures of scantily clad women and him. Did he have such little taste?
He slammed the drawer and was hit with a wave of nausea. He briefly recalled the doctor telling him that pain could make you sick on your stomach, and he barely made it to the bathroom before the contents of his stomach made their exit. Of course, there wasn't much; it was mostly dry heaves. But it was enough to exhaust him.
He slowly dropped to the floor beside the toilet and rested his head against the wall as the pain eased. He didn't have the energy to get back up and make it to the bed, he'd have to stay here until Serena got back. He couldn't help but smile at the thought that she'd have carry him back to bed, even if it was figuratively.
She was starting to get a nagging headache that was a direct result from having to deal with the pharmacist who thought the prescription was wrong. It took twenty minutes to get the doctor on the phone to tell the girl to just give her the damn pills.
They'd given her tylenol3 for his pain and ambien in case he had trouble sleeping. The doctor said he might have nightmares, it was common with patients who'd dealt with fire. They'd kept from Darien that his car was on fire and it had nearly gotten to him before help came and put it out.
Finally she'd gotten up to the registered and put her items on the conveyor belt. She was going to fix spaghetti because it was quick and easy, and Darien had liked her spaghetti years ago even though he hadn't eaten any of her cooking in years. It was kind of lonely, cooking for yourself. She felt somewhat excited that she'd be cooking for someone else for a little while.
She paid for the groceries and quickly headed back to her car. She felt like she'd been gone too long and hoped that Darien was OK. He hadn't called her, maybe he had fallen asleep. She got in the car and hurried home.
“Darien! What's happened?” She nearly shrieked as she tossed the pills on the counter and knelt down beside him, instantly pressing her hand to his forehead to see if he was feverish.
Darien didn't want to tell her about him going through his drawers and finding all that dirty linen. “I felt sick to my stomach, probably from exerting myself. I vomited and stayed here. I knew you'd be home soon to take care of me.” He softly as he leaned into her a little bit.
Serena wasn't sure what to say to that last comment. She would take care of him until he was able to do more things for himself, but he made it sound like she would be there for him every waking moment. “You know, I do work. We may have to get a nurse to come and help out while I'm working on this next project.” She said as she helped him up and started to lead him back to the bed.
“No, I don't want some stranger taking care of me. I want you Serena.” He said, sounding like he was pouting.
Serena snorted. “Darien, I'm a stranger. Recall that you don't remember me at all?”
“That may be, but you know me. I may not remember you now, but somewhere in my mind, I remember your smile, your laugh, your heart, your body.” He said the last as his hands glided down her sides as he lowered himself back onto the bed.
Serena ignored the longing in his voice. Ok, so he was horny for her? Not surprising. “Those memories are so old that I doubt you would even remember then when you were yourself. And don't think that you are going to seduce me. It's not going to happen. Now, I want you to take this pill and actually sleep in this bed.” She said as she went back into the bathroom and came back with a tylenol3. She had the prescription bag tucked under her arm, she knew that it was easy to get addicted to these kinds of pills. She'd administer them and he'd have no access to the bottles.
Darien sighed as he took the pill and swallowed it down with the rest of the water in the glass she had left earlier. “What about dinner?” He asked her.
“It's only 3, if you are hungry now I can bring you a sandwich. Otherwise, I'll start cooking at 6 or 7, depending on if you are in a deep sleep or not. Spaghetti.” She told him the menu before he could ask.
“I always loved your spaghetti.” He murmured as he lowered himself into the pillows and closed his eyes.
Serena stared at him for several moments, digesting what he'd said. Either he was just commenting on something he think he might say, or he remembered something that even the old Darien wouldn't admit. Either way, it made her smile and grow warm inside.
She paused at the bedroom and turned back to him. “Darien, you wouldn't remember my heart even if you tried. I gave it to you, but you never took it. Just thought you should know.” She said softly before closing the door with a soft click and leaving him alone.
Darien's eyes fluttered open with a frown. Yes, her heart was broken and what was worse is that he'd done it. He'd have to use his time wisely. Once he was able to move about on his own with minimal discomfort, she wouldn't spend so much time with him.
She sat the tray on the nightstand and helped him sit up with a pillow at his back. She tucked a long napkin into his shirt as well because she knew how you could sling sauce when you ate spaghetti.
“It smells delicious. You used to cook a lot for us, didn't you?” He asked her as he dug into the bowl.
“Well, yes. You were working so hard in med school and interning, I always had a hot meal for you when you were able to eat. But once we stopped being together, you always ate out and I cooked for one. At first, I would leave you a plate of whatever it was that I made. But you'd never eat them. I took it as an insult, thinking that you thought I'd poison you or something. So I stopped. This is the first time you've eaten anything I've cooked in four years.” She said with some astonishment.
“You haven't poisoned it, have you?” He teased her, causing her to laugh and shake her head no. “Have I told you that I'm sorry I'm such an asshole?” He asked her as he twirled some noodles around his fork.
“Oh Darien, it doesn't matter. You feel remorse now because you don't remember the hatred. Besides, you've tried it before.” She said with a faraway look, remembering something of the past.
“I apologized before?”
“It was about two months after I'd kicked you out. I guess you'd realized that you'd catch more flies with honey than vinegar. You came to me one night, on your knees, begging me to forgive you. You seemed so sincere. Of course I forgave you with open arms. That night you put extra effort into our lovemaking, and the next few nights as well. You showed me affection, took me out to dinner, bought me nice things. But then you got sloppy. I saw you one night with some woman. When I confronted you about it, you turned cold and told me that it was too much effort to keep me happy and that you'd just assume not try anymore. So you'll understand why apologies don't mean so much to me anymore from you.” She said, pulling her knees up to her chest in the arm chair she was sitting in.
Darien was silent as he thought this over. Why couldn't he have seen that he held a gem in his hands? Was he such an immature prick those years ago that he couldn't stand to see her happy while he was still so empty inside?
He looked down at his half-eaten plate and suddenly didn't feel so hungry anymore. Hearing about his actions took his appetite away. “I think I'm done.” He said as he pulled his napkin from his shirt and crumpled it up on the plate.
“You sure?” She asked as she stood up to get his plate. At his nod she took his plate and balanced it on her hip. “You'll probably want a shower and then another pill for bed. The doctor said that you'd probably get stiff at night and would need to have some kind of exercise in the morning. But taking a pill before you go to bed would help with the pain in the morning.” She chattered. “I'll be back to help you into the bathroom.”
Darien was still silent through her chatter, thinking that she might now be numb. She could talk about the painful things of their past without even shedding a tear or a wavering voice. Well, he'd just have to quit bringing up the past and doing his best to make her only see the present
But she didn't cry, even though she felt them gathering. Instead, she toughened up and hardened her heart a little more against him. She'd fallen for a false hope once, she wouldn't again.
“So tell me, just how are you going to help me with my shower?” He asked her curiously.
“I'm not giving you a sponge bath if that's what you are asking.” She snorted as she dug some pajama pants and a t-shirt from his dresser. “I will help you into the bathroom, and help you back to bed once you are showered and dressed. Don't expect anymore than that.”
Well, Darien couldn't say that he wasn't disappointed, but he knew he shouldn't have expected anymore than that. “Alright, well let's get me up and in there then.” He said as he reached for his cane and slowly pulled himself off the bed.
“Well, don't get over excited.” She said as she hurriedly walked over to help him. Together they made it into the bathroom where she got him balanced by the shower door and then left him to get him a clean towel and his clothes where he could reach them easily when he was done. By the time she had come back, he had already pulled his shirt off. “Alright, looks like you are all set. So call me when you are ready to come back to bed. I'll be in the bedroom.” She said as she walked from the room, pulling the door to but leaving it ajar so she could hear him.
Darien sighed as he unfastened his jeans but almost lost his breath at the shot of pain he got when he tried to bend down to pull them off. He straightened back up, and then tried again. Still hurt like hell. He tried again to see if he could pinpoint the pain, and it was in his back. He wasn't going to be able to bend down, at least not right now. “Serena?” He called hesitantly. He really needed her help, or he'd be taking a shower in his jeans and sleeping in them too.
Now Serena knew he couldn't be done that soon, she hadn't even heard the shower. “What is it?”
“I need your help.”
He sounded embarrassed. She felt dread. Slowly she walked back into the bathroom and took note that he still had his pants on, but they were unfastened. “Yes?”
“I...can't get my pants off. It hurts too much to bend down.” He said.
“You have got to be kidding me.” She said, but knew that he wasn't by the expression on his face. He was genuine. She sighed. She was a big girl, she'd see the male anatomy before, his at that. “Alright.” She said, but instead of going in front of him, she went behind him and gripped his pants and boxer briefs from the side and tugged them down. She kept her face turned to the side so that she wouldn't be staring at his rear-end while she completed her task. “Step out of them.” She said as she stood up and gripped his arms so that he wouldn't stumble forward or trip.
She then stepped in front of him and slid open the shower door and turned the water on, getting it at the right temperature. “Alright, have at it.” But she couldn't get out of the bathroom fast enough.
“You know that you'll have to help me get dressed too, right? If I can't get them off, I sure as hell can't get them on.” He said before he stepped into the spray and shut the door.
She groaned but returned to sit on the toilet to await him. “How will you manage to wash your legs?” She called out, feeling somewhat miffed that he'd be able to do that but couldn't manage to get his pants off or on.
“I'll just let the soap run down them and reach what I can. It's not like I'm filthy.” He drolled, feeling some kind of satisfaction in the situation.
“Yeah well, I'm sure by tomorrow night you'll be better and won't need my help.”
“Maybe.”
Nothing else was said for a while. Darien always took long showers, spending fifteen minutes at least. “I'm coming out.” He called, giving her fair warning as the shower was cut off and the door slid open and he stood there in his soaking wet, naked glory.
OK she looked! But honestly she couldn't help it. It was like it drew your attention, being at the center of a man's body and just hanging out. She also didn't catch Darien's smile when he noticed that she did. But she quickly caught herself and handed him a towel.
“Think you can help me dry my legs off?” He asked her innocently.
She wanted to glare at him, he knew that she didn't want to be this close to him. It was as if he knew that being near him stirred feelings she thought were long dead. But she also knew that she was an adult, she needed to act like one. She took the towel and quickly dried off his lower back and went down the back of his legs and back up the front, coming to the apex of his thighs and quickly glancing the towel over the area. She hoped she was mechanical in the act and detached. She wouldn't be able to face him if he suddenly got an erection from the contact.
It all looked to be fine as she rolled the legs of his pants up for him to step into and still no problem as he put his hands and weight on her shoulders so she could pull them up. She realized the eroticism in the act and knew that she could easily have seduced him in such a state. But it wasn't that she knew she could that had warning bells going off in her head, it was that she wanted to. She said a silent prayer in that moment that the next night, he wouldn't need her help like this anymore.
After that, he got his shirt on by himself and she helped him to the sink so he could brush his teeth. “All set?” She asked him. He nodded and together they got him back into bed and tucked beneath the covers. “Do you want to watch TV for a little while or do you think you'll fall asleep?” She asked him as she went to get him a glass of water so he could take his pill.
“No, I think I'll just go to sleep. The body heals better when it's hibernating.” He said as he smoothed the coverlet.
“Is the doctor coming out in you?” She teased as she handed him his pill and the glass of water.
“Maybe.” He chuckled and handed her back the water after swallowing it. She set it on the nightstand, probably for him to have in case he woke up and was thirsty. He remembered a habit of that, of waking up in the middle of the night and needing to drink something. So he kept a glass of water by the bed. She remembered. “Thank you Serena.” He said as he settled into the pillows.
“Anytime.” She said with a genuine smile. “Should you need me, just call out. I'll keep my door ajar so that I can hear and I'll keep yours ajar, unless you object?” She asked.
“No, no objections. The closer I can be to you, the better I'll be.” He said with closed eyes.
His statement made her feel a little uneasy but she brushed it off. She turned off the bedroom light so that she was only a silhouette in the doorway. “Goodnight Darien.” She said before pull it to.
“Goodnight my love.” He said softly but she didn't hear it. She had already walked away.
“I..had...a nightmare.” He told her between shaky breaths. “It was so hot. So much fire.” He panted.
“Shhhhh, the doctor said you might have nightmares, most trauma patients do.” She said as she sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his back in a soothing manner. “He gave you sleeping pills so that you could sleep deeper and not have dreams.” She told him. He'd changed position and now had his head on her shoulder, leaning into her. She embraced him for a few moments but had to pull away, her heart was starting to beat erratically. “Let me clean up this mess so on one steps on broken glass.” she said as she pulled away and left him alone.
Darien watched her kneel down and pick up all the pieces that she could. For the first time, he noticed that she was wearing a silky nightgown with lacy straps. “What are you wearing?” He choked. “I thought you weren't having an affair?” He said, almost accusingly.
She looked up at him with an incredulous look on her face. “What, just because I've got no one to model means that I should sleep in dowdy grandma pajamas?” She said, feeling someone satisfied at his chagrined expression. “I wear them because they make me feel feminine. I like the feeling of sleeping in silk garments.” She said with a shrug as she went into the bathroom to throw away the glass.
She took another towel and attempted to soak up the water from the carpet before going back into the bathroom and bringing him another glass, but this one plastic. It was the cup that went with his toothbrush set, one used to rinse with water. It would have to do for tonight. “Here, try not to break this one, will you?” She said as she left the room but quickly returned with something in her hand. “Here, take this. It will help you sleep.” She told him.
He obliged. He didn't want to wake up again from that nightmare. She hadn't asked about the details, probably figured that he'd talk to her about them if he wanted to. It had been so real, he swore he could actually still feel the heat of the flames. “Will you stay with me?” He asked her, pleaded with her.
She didn't answer him for a few moments, she seemed to be weighing the question in her mind. “I shouldn't.” She said quietly.
“But you want to?”
“No Darien, I'm not so eager to be caught again, no matter how sincere you are. So, just lie back and go back to sleep. I'm just down the hall.” She said quickly and fled the room before he could rebuttal.
3 Lorraine AKA SilverSerenity
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