Madness

Disclaimer: fill the blanks – since this fanfic is in fanfiction(.)net then ?

AU high school fanfic – warnings: randomness, pointlessness and OOC (very OOC) characters! No pairings, no yaoi but maybe some hints.

(A/N: To everyone waiting (im)patiently for the next chapter of Waga Karishutsugoku – stop glaring at me! I wrote this chapter the 9th of March 2005 so I am not straying away from Waga Karishutsugoku. Good piece of news though – I haven’t posted the chapters yet but just wanted to tell you guys I already have the 7th and 8th chapter done a LONG time ago. This started as a co-written fanfic with Lament for Requiem so I wrote ch. 1 (this chapter) and waited for ch. 2. Months later she forgot about this fanfic (which I discovered while IMing her – hi Lament!) so I decided to just post this chapter anyway. It’ll distract you (hopefully) from the fact that my updates are late. I’ll update this after I finish Indentured and Waga Karishutsugoku. Stop plotting my death (im)patient readers – I’m finally getting good grades in school despite my workload. Still… I couldn’t just forget ff(.)net.

Chapter 1

Kurama breathed in heavily.

‘Did they follow me? No… Good’

Gingerly he peeked over his shoulder to check for any sign of disturbance. ‘Oh no!’

“Kurama – san!”

‘Damn fan girls!’

And he hightailed it out of there.

(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)

“DETENTION!”

Yusuke’s eyes grew huge. “But I wasn’t doing anything!” He met his teacher’s wild manic eyes.

“Urameshi… I just KNOW you’re plotting against me… something bad…”

“Like what?”

“Oh I don’t know!” his professor said sarcastically. “Trouble? Assassinating an influential political figure? World domination?”

“WHAT?”

“AHA! I was right!” His teacher’s eyes bugged out as he laughed maniacally. “After all these years and teachers call me paranoid… but no, I was right! Right all along! Guilt is clearly written on your face! Guilt! I knew you were out to get me when I first laid my eyes on you. You’re nothing but a plotting, slimy git – ten points from Gryffindor!”

And thus, blank stares emerged.

The unknown professor stood aback, fairly uncomfortable under the heavy scrutiny. “You can’t blame me for trying to vanquish the evil inside him! What did Voldemort ever do to you anyway huh? What, Potter? Too scared to answer me you big weenie?”

“Ne… do any of you have any idea why sensei is talking in English?”

“Who’s Potta-san?”

“He’s nuts…”

“Crazy”

“Psycho!”

“I AM NOT CRAZY! ALL OF YOU GET DETENTION FOR DRUNK DRIVING!”

“We’re only 14 sensei…”

“BUT I HATE ALL OF YOU! SO THERE!”

Yusuke decided that if his brain was going to rot anyway, he might as well let it rot in comfort. And that meant cutting classes. As he was walking aimlessly outside, he bumped into someone.

“Watch where you’re going!” A gruff voice shouted.

Yusuke stared down at the shadow that engulfed him then looked up.

“Oh… it’s you….”

(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)

“Do aho.”

“Who are you calling an idiot, Kurama?”

Kurama grinned cheekily at his best friend, Sarayashiki’s no. 1 delinquent – Yusuke Urameshi.

“Mah… why do I stay for this abuse anyway?” Yusuke found himself asking.

“Because I’m lovable and you can’t live without me, Yu-chan.”

“Damn that nickname Kurama! Why can’t you take me seriously for once!”

Yusuke cringed as he experienced full blast of Kurama’s intense green-eyed stare (warning: for bishie use only).

“So,” the soft alto voice uttered. “What happened to you that I should take you seriously, Yusuke?”

“I got suspended, and I got my teacher expelled,” he answered proudly.

“Bravo Yu-chan… that’s making good use of your time.”

Yusuke huffed. “Well what happened to you anyway?”

“I got stalked, chased and damn near molested by my fan club.”

“Do you know that you have a secret all-boys fan club besides your all girls fan club?” Yusuke slyly inquired.

Kurama nodded miserably. “I know…. you probably won’t understand but it’s damn hard being so delicious.”

“I love how you’re so humble Kurama.”

“Of course I am, I’m perfect.”

“Yep…. Perfect example of humbleness.”

Kurama laughed, amused by their antics. It has always been like this ever since he remembered. They were an unlikely pair of friends – Suichi Minamino (given the alias of Kurama) and Yusuke Urameshi.

Both of them were outcasts during their younger years, Kurama because he was so strange and peculiar for a little kid preferring to stay alone, quiet and morose while observing other kids his age having fun, and Urameshi because even as a child people saw the makings of a troublemaker in him.

Little Kurama was gentle and good-looking – in fact he got mistaken as a girl several times. He had fair features, soft red hair and those green, green eyes. Those looks were both a gift and a curse for him. He could easily manipulate other people to do what he wanted to do because of his squeaky clean reputation and docile good looks (plus the best rendition of the puppy-dog-eyed look). No one saw the mischief lurking in him because even as a kid he was a prodigy. Unfortunately those looks and reputation got him fan clubs and stalkers of all shapes, sizes, ages and genders.

Yep… that was the price of being perfect…

Yusuke Urameshi on the other hand was far from perfect. He was cute as a little kid – robust, boisterous and full of energy. He made older people go ‘awww’ even though he was very loud and rude. However, as he grew older he lost that ‘awwww, how cute’ charm in him (except for girls who liked bad boys like Urameshi). He had slicked back jet-black hair and sparkling brown eyes full of life. He got in trouble most of the time and usually had Kurama bailing him out. He in turn tried to help Kurama from getting jumped at whenever he tried to go home.

Funny thing was… Kurama lived in a rough and tumble neighborhood with his drunk mother Shiori while Yusuke lived with the warm and caring Atsuko.

Kurama was usually agile and speedy enough to avoid attackers but wasn’t really incompetent when it came to street fighting. Yusuke just liked to pretend that he was the big, strong hero and that Kurama needed him to survive from the mean streets.

Kurama didn’t.

Kurama, on the other hand, liked to think that he had to bail Yusuke out and that Yusuke needed him to spice things up.

Yusuke didn’t.

But, and we’re not sure how exactly, both boys became good friends during the 4th grade and always had each other’s back whenever the other one needed him. In a way, both needed each other.

Of course, their strange friendship attracted a lot of attention. A lot of people talked about them (behind their backs) and called them posers (Kurama), suck-ups (Yusuke), wimps (Kurama), leeches (Yusuke) or blindly decided that they were a merry, gay couple.

Of course those nasty gossipers were as wrong as the wrong side of the moon in all its wrongness.

And whenever Yusuke or Kurama caught any of these gossipers they each proved them wrong (and mysteriously, those gossipers each spent a long time at a hospital in a cast….. hmmmm….).

Kurama suddenly chuckled out loud breaking away from his thoughts.

“What’s so funny?” Yusuke asked irritated.

Kurama faced him seriously and smiled. “You suck, Yusuke Urameshi. You suck.”

“What the fuck?”

Trust our little kitsune to break a moment of peace and friendship fluffiness.

And so, they wasted 30 minutes of their lives that day with Yusuke chasing after a laughing Kurama while shouting expletives and a few homicidal thoughts as they merrily cut school.

(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)

After school they decided to go into Yusuke’s nice and pretty neighborhood to and chill in his nice and pretty, well kept room.

“So,” Yusuke was saying before I interrupted him by describing his room in all its prettiness, “I went outta my classroom cause my prof was nuts you know, then I bumped into this idiot.”

Kurama was half-interested. “Who?”

“Kuwabara – you know the lanky, ugly, orange-haired, wannabe-punk?”

Kurama was not interested. “So?”

“The lucky wannabe with the ugly Elvis hairdo turns out to be close friends with Hiei – you know the cynical, apathetic Goth kid?”

Suddenly Kurama was interested. “Really? You mean that midget who dresses in black and gave everyone the finger in our 1st grade class picture?”

Yusuke nodded. “That was damn classic... I wish I thought of it. How can anyone forget? He told the teacher, and I quote him, to ‘go jump off a building and save the world his pathetic, miserable existence’ when the teacher reprimanded him.”

Kurama mused. “And you remembered his exact words too. Nice boy he was… very nice…”

“Yeah….”

And they stayed quiet for a minute because they had nothing else to talk about.

“So,” Kurama said, “why do you seem to hate Kuwabara so much?”

“Why else? Because Hiei chose the fucking idiot to be his friend! WHY!”

“I’m hurt Yusuke.”

Yusuke snorted. “What is it again?”

Kurama looked at him with big watery eyes. “Don’t you like me anymore?”

“You’re scaring me…”

“But I thought I was your best friend, Yu-chan…”

“You are – why are you looking at me that way?”

“What way, Yu-chan?”

“THAT WAY! You’re seriously creeping me out!”

Kurama blinked his big pretty eyes. “I’m jealous…. I think you like Hiei….”

“What the fuck?”

“Aha! You do like him!”

“Where do you get all these crazy ideas?”

“You like him better than you like me…. I’m jealous Yu-chan…. When did this started? I’m really, really jealous…”

“You crazy girly-boy!” Yusuke had been friends with Kurama for a long time and he had a lot of long talks with him. Throughout those years he was able to create a suspicion that Kurama was not mentally stable. “Did you stop taking your meds?”

Kurama blinked innocently. “What meds?”

Yusuke was starting to feel nervous. His palms were getting sweaty. "You know the ones the good doctors in white give you.”

Kurama laughed. “Oh that? Yeah…. in fact I’m trying to kill myself with an overdose! It’s fun Yu-chan! Wanna try it?” he asked in an off-hand manner.

Yup…. It was official…. Kurama wasn’t sane…. nope... he couldn’t be sane…. no, no, no…

Still, Kurama was his good, good, good friend who wouldn’t try to hurt him right? The worst Yusuke saw of Kurama was him crazy talking…. Oh yeah, and there was that time his mom told him a funny story about Kurama putting his kitten in the refrigerator when he was a little kid and trying to set his room on fire(1).

Suddenly Yusuke didn’t feel safe. He groped behind him and threw the first things his hand grabbed to Kurama, planning on disarming him.

Kurama blinked surprise as some things hit him and bounced off him. He looked around and picked the items. “I’m real sorry Yu-chan; I didn’t know you felt that way….”

“Felt what?”

“I’m really sorry but I’m straight, Yusuke.”

Now Yusuke was confused. “What the fuck do you mean?”

“It means I don’t swing that way.”

“Man – are you high or something?”

“No, I don’t do drugs Yu-chan. But even if I did I still don’t want to have sex with you.”

‘What the fuck?’

Kurama looked at him oddly and raised some items – condoms and a pair of handcuffs. “You’re scaring me Yu-chan… why did you throw these stuff to me?”

“Gah!” Yusuke blushed and threw a pair of shoes to Kurama who promptly ducked. “I don’t own those stuff!”

Kurama laughed. “Oh yeah… they’re mine. Oops – sorry, I think I had a blond moment.”

“You’re not blond”

“Oh yeah… hahahaha….. I’m feeling ditzy…. or maybe I’m horny…” the red head shrugged. “I never seem to really figure out anyway…..”

“?”

“Oh yeah Yu-chan, I need to go and check up on my mom. I don’t want her having sex with everyone in our apartment – you know how she is drunk…”

Yusuke stared dumbly after Kurama as he left him and closed the door. Sometimes Kurama REALLY scared him…. why the fuck were they friends again?

(0)0(0)0(0)0(0)

Kurama silently chuckled as he exited Yusuke’s room. Those handcuffs and condoms really did the trick.

He placed the items back in his book bag and smiled amused as he waved good bye to Yusuke’s wonderfully oblivious mother.

Kurama just loved creeping out Yusuke – he loved playing tricks with his best friend’s innocent mind.

Yep…. Kurama loved scaring people.

(A/N: no… I did not write this chapter drunk. I’ve never been drunk – only tipsy… which is different. And when I’m tipsy I write angsty love stories… when I’m sober I seem to not to have a romantic bone in my body. Isn’t that sad? So yeah… I’m not drunk. Or on drugs.

(1) based on my cousin's antics when she was a kid, although instead of setting her room on fire, she set her father's formalwear on fire. I love her - she's so awesome. And yes, the kitten was placed in the fridge... poor kitty cat.