Evangelion Fan Fiction

Kindle

By Kraven Ergeist

Chapter Two

I woke up to yet another unfamiliar ceiling. I was lying in bed; Misato must have carried me into her room during the night. Even after something like what we just did, she still had trouble sleeping. Something about that put me ill at ease. The worrisome thought of a depressed Misato wandering her house at night was troubling. It was replaced, however, by a far more dominating thought.

Namely, the manner in which I awoke.

"Um…Misato?" I mumbled, staring up at her. "Isn't it…kinda early?"

Misato just kissed me, her hair dangling in tussles around her face. "Oh hush. You're enjoying it, so be quiet."

After she finished, I felt like sleeping again. But I got up, and prepared her breakfast, which she ate, a fox like grin on her face at all times.

The thought formed in the back of my head that my mornings and evenings during my stay here would be proceeding in more or less the same fashion as they had been. This lead me to the distinct impression that Misato was using me, but seeing as how she had been considering suicide not twenty four hours ago, I decided it was a good idea to let her enjoy herself a little. And it wasn't like it was all that difficult for me to comply.

I had finished breakfast, and Misato was taking her time, enjoying it. It was doubtful that she'd had anything halfway decent for a while now. If you are what you eat, maybe that had been part of the reason for Misato's depression.

I got up and placed my plate at the sink, and found my way around to her seat and wrapped my arms around her, leaning on her from behind.

"How are you feeling?"

Misato was busy chewing on a mouthful of food. "After that? Pretty good."

I nuzzled the back of her head and Misato's cooed in appreciation. "You know…I kind of left this part out yesterday, but…you know how I was studying to become a musician?"

Misato, still focused on breakfast, hummed in the affirmative.

"Well…after funds ran out, I kind of…dropped out of college…" I sighed, holding her close to me.

Misato stopped eating. "I thought you worked at a restaurant."

I nodded. "That's the other part. The restaurant…kind of went out of business…"

Misato nodded. "Oh…"

I gulped. Now for the tricky part. "I guess…what I'm trying to say is…I don't…really have to leave anytime soon. So, I mean…as long as I'm not being a burden…"

"Oh, Shinji," Misato sighed, finally turning her seat around to face me. "I can't ask you to stay with an old hag like me."

I blushed, looking away. "You're not an old hag, Misato! I want to stay! I mean…if it's okay with you, that is. It's just that…I don't know, after yesterday…I guess I'm just sort of worried about you. So, I mean…I really would like to stay here with you, if only for you to have a shoulder to cry on…if that's all right with you…"

There was a pause that had me worried. Had I stepped over my boundaries? Would she push me away, like everyone else had?

I mentally scolded myself. This was Misato we're talking about! Old habits may die hard, but being concerned that Misato would push me away was just pitiful.

I happily conceded to this thought as Misato threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. "Oh Shinji…thank you…"

I felt a little guilty, like maybe I was taking advantage of her. Just because she was depressed didn't mean I could just help myself to her generosity. She was feeling down, and she didn't need some starving artist squatting in her house and eating her food and sleeping with her…

But then I reminded myself that all of that, including the sex, had been her idea from the start. I hadn't objected of course, but I would not have insisted that we suddenly jump into a physical relationship. I didn't really mind, however. So long as she was happy, it didn't matter to me if she wanted me in bed or not.

Well…maybe that last part was a lie, I thought with a grin.

xxxxx

Misato's POV

After some relatively fulfilling wake-up sex, I decided the day had started off markedly better than most had in a while. Sure, Shinji was still new at the whole lovemaking deal, but it wasn't a complete bore for me. And there was just something about seeing his cute little face scrunch up right as he's about to…

I took a bite of the breakfast Shinji had prepared, and my tongue just about died and went to heaven. If I could wake up to this kind of food and this young man in my bed every morning, I could live life a very happy woman.

There was a time in my life that I had considered myself a pretty good judge of character, particularly Shinji's. But then, he would do something that completely blew my understanding of him out of proportion.

Shinji suddenly throwing his arms around me from behind was such an occurrence.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, genuinely.

I knew of course that he was still worried over the whole bungee jumping without a bungee scheme. Trying to think of a way to set his mind at east, I smiled.

"After that? Pretty good."

If that had set him in better spirits, it didn't show. But then, with Shinji, it never did.

Another thing that took me by surprise was Shinji's sudden offer to live with me again. I couldn't be sure whether he was serious or not. Shinji wasn't the sort of person to accept change so suddenly, especially considering the life he would be haphazardly throwing away back in Zurich. Whether he was making up the stuff about dropping out or being laid off was a mystery.

Either way, how could I turn him down?

We didn't really do much after breakfast was done. I had called in sick to the office, and just felt like relaxing a little around the house. Shinji didn't seem to have anything better to do (or so I claimed), so I basically held him hostage for a few hours.

"I think my arms are falling asleep," the boy muttered, as we both slowly discovered just how few comfortable positions there were for two people to lie down on my couch.

I just smiled and kissed him.

For the next few hours, we just lazed around the house all day. We watched television, reminisced about our mutually uninteresting pasts, and I filled Shinji in on a few familiar names a driving distance away.

"So Toji and Hikari are living in Tokyo-2?" the boy asked.

I still hadn't let him go. I'd figure out how to do so eventually. "Yep. I'll give them a call – we'll see if we can arrange a visit."

Shinji smiled, nuzzling in closer to me. "I'd like that."

We fooled around for a bit, but Shinji was still a bit awkward. And for some reason, I never could get into daytime sex. Something about the mood just wasn't right. Even when I was with Kaji, it was only after hours that we would go all the way. But cuddling was a different matter. It's such a fulfilling method of being close to the one you care about, not to mention the perfect way to kill time on long afternoons with nothing to do. So we did that some more. Shinji seemed to like it. And I certainly didn't mind.

We went out to eat dinner, because I didn't want to force Shinji to make all my meals - just most of them. And besides, he was still technically my guest. Unless he applied for employment here and became a resident, his traveler's Visa would expire after a few months.

I chided myself internally; that was getting ahead of things. For now, I finally had someone in my life who cared about me, who I cared for in return. Call it kinship, call it a deep abiding friendship, call it love…whatever it was that he and I shared, all I knew is that I never wanted to let go of it and that I would treasure it to the end of my days.

xxxxx

Mentioning Toji brought back more memories than I cared to recall. It didn't matter how many times he disclaimed my responsibility, that didn't revoke the guilt I felt for him, even after all these years. On the lighter side, I realized that if he ever knew about Misato and me…well things wouldn't be very calm after that.

Thankfully, Misato was able to take my mind off things using a method that primarily involved herself, her couch and a marked absence of clothing. Not that I wasn't enjoying it, but it was a little crowded.

"I think my arms are falling asleep," I whined.

A kiss was all I got in reply. No complaints here.

For the majority of the day, Misato refused to let go of me. After dawdling for a large portion of the afternoon, Misato started to get a bit more playful, which of course meant that the couch wasn't going to be big enough. So, after resituating ourselves somewhere a bit more comfortable (namely, the futon) we did what Misato called "fooling around," which basically consisted of a lot of wandering hands (and sometimes mouths) and pretty much more cuddling.

It was an educational experience to be sure. I figured out how use my fingers the right way, or at least, in a way that actually evoked a reaction. It still wasn't enough to get her to peak, and I still felt pathetically inadequate, but part of that was because of old habits.

Besides, Misato's and my relationship went deeper than that, no pun intended. There had been an entire year of our lives with a mutual understanding…well, maybe not understanding, but definitely a kinship between us. I had never been fully able to understand or trust Asuka and Rei. But with Misato, I may not have understood her, but at least I understood where she and I stood. And I knew I could trust her with just about anything. At least, with Misato, there was an excuse for misunderstanding with the age gap. She was an adult and I was a child, how was I supposed to understand her world?

But now, things were going to be different. I was determined to understand her. If she felt the need to consummate in a physical relationship, then I would. Even though the idea of bedding my former guardian made my head spin, and even after all this time, human contact was still a mystery to me.

It's not like I didn't find her beautiful. She was gorgeous, and anyone could see it. Why she hadn't gotten into another relationship in the fours years since I've seen her was a mystery to me, and one that I didn't particularly feel like delving into. I might uncover more secrets than I cared to know at this point.

I would have to find out eventually. A relationship depended on trust, and even a falling down goon like me could see that. She and I would have to completely open up to each other eventually.

I let out a surprised gasp as Misato's hands found their way south.

I blushed, unconsciously. I'd probably have to do something about her clinginess too. As enjoyable as all this closeness was, it wasn't healthy for her to be so dependant on me. I figured I should give her a week or two to recuperate, but eventually, I'd have to help her get back on her own two feet.

Stand on your own two feet and walk; those were the last words of advice my father had given me. And I had. I hadn't amounted to much, but I was making it on my own. I had proven to myself that I could. Now, it was time for me to prove to Misato that she could too.

I abruptly put an end to "fooling around" in favor of more cuddling. We were both on our sides, our legs intertwined, and I was kissing her lips.

"How long do you think we can keep this going, Misato?" I asked, trying and failing not to let my concern show through.

Misato kissed my face, lovingly. "I'm willing to keep going as long as you are, Shinji."

I sighed; she was missing the point, but it would have to do for now. And anyway, I might as well enjoy what she had to offer me, if she was offering it willingly. Lying there, kissing her, letting her arms wrap around me, warmly, it was as if every ounce of affection I had longed for in my youth was suddenly given to me all at once, swallowing me whole in her loving embrace.

Heaven couldn't have been much better than this.

xxxxx

Shinji may have been fifteen years younger than me, but he was astoundingly better cultured. For instance, at the little café we went to for dinner, the kind of avant-garde, post impact, artsy-fartsy brasserie with prints of famous paintings and classical music playing on the stereo, Shinji not only knew the names and artists of most of the visible and audible pieces, but could also place their origins, eras, and themes.

"It's called 'Still Life,'" Shinji pointed out a painting of a vase full of orange flowers. "It's supposed to remind us of life's fleeting qualities."

I found that all I could do was smile. "How appropriate."

Shinji went on. "This style was first introduced among Dutch painters of the seventeenth century. This piece, however, was painted by Matisse, a French painter, in the early nineteen hundreds and…uh…am I boring you, Misato?"

I shook my head as out food arrived. "No, Shinji, not at all. It's just amazing that you know so much about all this at your age."

Shinji began to pick at his food; he had always been a thin guy, but at eighteen years of age, I wondered if he was getting enough to eat. He said himself that he usually only made enough to eat one or two meals a day. And he'd hardly eaten anything in the time I've seen him. Was he anorexic?

"Well, I've got to have some sort of hobby," Shinji explained. "I figured I might as well vest my appreciation in the fine arts. They've lasted this long for a reason, and millions of educated men and women can't all be wrong. Besides, I seem to have a knack for it."

I nodded, hiding a concerned gaze, taking a bite of my dinner. "I see. How's your cello playing coming along?"

Shinji smiled. "A lot better, but I've still got a lot to learn. I'm still not at a high enough to perform nationally yet."

I nodded. "I still have your old one, you know. You never took it with you after you left."

Shinji blinked. "Really?"

I laughed. "Yeah, I mean, I didn't know where you lived, and I didn't know if you were coming back for it or not, so I couldn't give it away. It seemed odd to put it into storage, so I left it in the back of one of my closets. It's just been collecting dust these past few years. I'd love to hear you play it sometime."

Shinji blushed; that same cute blush he always had. It made me smile whenever he did that. Knowing that whatever it was I had said or done had given him such pause was a bit of an ego trip, even if it was normal for Shinji to do. It made him so much fun to tease.

"Ok…if you want me to…"

I smiled at him, as sweetly as I could. "I'd love that."

xxxxx

Dinner was good. I tried to impress Misato with everything I knew about the fine arts we encountered at the brasserie, but it came off sounding like bragging, so I stopped.

I nibbled my club sandwich, knowing I'd never finish it. How Misato put away as much food as she did remained a mystery. Aside from Rei, everyone I had known ate more than I did.

I brought up what I'd do about applying for permanent residence. It shouldn't be too hard, what with me being a former Tokyo-3 citizen and Eva pilot. All it would come down to is moving all my stuff from Zurich. Misato tried talking me out of it, but I could tell she was really happy that I'd be staying with her.

It made me feel good to be so appreciated. The people I knew back at college came and went. I didn't know enough German or French to really get to know the locals anyway. And Asuka had made it a point to avoid me altogether it seemed. Not that I could blame her. And Rei…

Well, no one really knew what happened to her.

I looked across the table as Misato rubbed her belly. Though not stout by any means, she was hardly a lightweight like Asuka. But she was a beauty. And she tended to act really cute whenever the situation didn't require any sort of seriousness. It was all I could do not to wrap my arms around her there and then. It would have to wait.

We left he restaurant and walked off our dinner. The park had been built as a memorial to the Tokyo-3 veterans. There were statues and placards all around, which was kind of weird. More than one had me in it.

"Was I really that short?" I commented, glancing at stone mold of Unit 01 and me.

Misato wrapped her arms around me. "Afraid so."

Evening came, and the sunset was pretty. I wasn't really paying it much attention though. The other park goers must have thought so ill of us.

"Misato…" I stammered. "We're, uh…kind of out in the open."

Misato kissed me again. "We're not doing anything illegal…yet…"

I gasped when she sat me onto a park bench and straddled my hips. Not that I wasn't enjoying it, but I was a bit shy to be doing this out in public. Thankfully, it was getting darker by the minute.

"Come on, Misato," I muttered, blushing. "At least let me go home to freshen up a bit – I haven't showered since I got here."

Misato sighed, staring at my eyes. It was riveting, as though she was peering into my soul. Resting her head on my chest, she exhaled, her warm breath quite noticeable in the cool evening air.

"You…called it your home," she pointed out, snuggling up next to me. "Oh Shinji…"

I smiled. I had forgotten that such inconsequential terms held such meaning. "Well…it is, isn't it?"

Misato kissed me again before getting to her feet.

We happily strode home.

xxxxx

After getting out of the shower, Shinji wanted me to show him where I kept his cello. I told him it would have to wait. Playing his cello would involve not kissing. And I wasn't ready to let him go just yet.

Shinji kept blushing as I held onto him, content just to touch him. I could tell the closeness was still strange to him, but I needed it. I'd been alone for so long.

He surprised me by exploring my body a bit with his hands. I smiled; I guess his curiosity got the better of him. Resisting the urge to giggle at his expense, knowing that if I did, he might retract, I just sat there, letting his hands wander over me, getting a feel for every part of me.

I blushed when his hands found my breasts. "Shinji…"

He just looked at me with those sweet eyes of his "Sorry…"

I winked. "That wasn't a complaint."

He nodded, but his progress slowed, and his prodding hands didn't explore nearly as much as before.

"Shinji…" I muttered trying to focus while my mind was ablaze with perverted thoughts. "Don't be afraid. You can do whatever you want with me. I don't care what you do, Shinji, but there's no reason for you to be afraid."

Shinji nodded without looking at me, and started pulling my shirt up. I smiled, obligingly lifting my arms up, letting him lift my shirt over my head, tossing it aside. He blushed all over again as he looked back down.

I sighed. For goodness sake, every time we went through this, it was like he'd never seen a naked woman before. He'd seen my body twice in as many days already, and each time it was like he was treading through a minefield.

I spread my arms wide. "Just relax, Shinji. Take your time if you have to. I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours tonight."

Shinji blushed again, nodding, and he carefully began to touch me.

I sighed, placing my hands over his, causing his hands to cover my breasts entirely. "You can be a little rougher than that, Shinji – I'm a tough girl, I'm not gonna break."

Shinji blinked in surprise. "I…it's not like that…I just…don't really like it rough…"

I blinked, coming to a realization. "Shinji…was last night really your first time?"

Shinji shook his head, averting his eyes, an uneasy look in his face. "No. I…uh, well…actually…after Impact…when Asuka was still here… Well…before she decided to leave, she…well…"

I blinked. "Wait a minute…you and Asuka…?"

Shinji cringed. "It just one time, Misato, honest! Afterwards, Asuka never wanted to see me again! I'm sorry! All I ever do is screw things up!"

I gawked. "You're kidding. Why didn't you tell me?"

Shinji squeezed his eyes shut. "I was just…I was embarrassed, that's all."

I sighed. "Oh, Shinji…when are you ever going to grow up?"

Shinji frowned. "I'm sorry…maybe I should go."

I grabbed him tightly. "Oh, no you don't."

Shinji blinked. "What? Aren't you…I mean, you're not mad that I did it with Asuka?"

I sighed. "It just doesn't matter, Shinji. You take everything so seriously. Lighten up a bit. I'm actually more surprised that you've only done it once before. I'm not gonna turn you away just because you're not a virgin, and I'm not gonna up and leave for Germany just because you don't get it right the first time. I don't care about that. I care about you, Shinji. You can try as many times as you like, and I'll still care about you."

Shinji stared back at me with those heart filled eyes. Tears flowed down his face as he collapsed on top of me.

"Thank you…Misato…"

I smiled, kissing his forehead. "Oh, Shinji…I could never leave you…"

xxxxx

Hearing those words from her meant everything to me. Finally I felt free to at least try to make things right. This was not Asuka. She wouldn't get mad and slap me for petty reasons. This was kind, mature, and understanding Misato. She was worlds apart from anyone else I would ever know.

I buried myself in her. I didn't care how dumb it looked, I just wanted to kiss her all over. To somehow thank her for everything she had done for me. She had survived worlds of hurt, and she had not done it for herself. If she had, she wouldn't have jumped…

I pushed those thoughts from my head. I had to show her, to convince her that her efforts had not been in vain. That surviving for my sake was something worth surviving for. I wanted her to feel the love that I felt for her.

I kept kissing her, and as promised, she didn't complain one bit. If anything, it seemed to bring an elated smile to her face. God, she looked so adorable when she smiled like that. It was like every concern I'd ever have couldn't possibly matter. She just made me feel so at ease.

I unclipped her bra, and didn't even flinch as her sumptuousness fell free. I started kissing her there too, and that only made her react even stronger. I glanced upward and saw her breaths coming out in panting gasps. As soon as she saw me, she closed her mouth and gave me a reassuring smile. But I could tell she had having difficulty hiding some trembling feeling.

Was she…was I actually having an effect on her?

I continued kissing her, taking in the light skinned nubs at the tips of her breasts, and I could swear I heard something escape her lips. It sounded so close to a gasp of pain, and for a second, I felt as though I'd somehow hurt her. But I looked up at her again, and saw her eyes clenched in something that could only be pleasure.

I really was having an effect after all.

I kept up what I was doing, desperate to please her. But I suddenly realized I was having difficulty containing myself. Her skin felt so soft and smooth, so wonderful to touch.

I felt my hands begin to move on their own, feeling their way down her abdomen until I touched the fabric of her skirt. I felt the muscles in her waist tighten as I searched for the zipper on the side of her waist, and began to slowly slide it down.

Meanwhile, my mouth was still focused on her nipple, dampening it into an arousing hardness. Her reaction merely served to gaud me onward, as I slid my first three fingers between her legs, pressing up against her panties. I felt her legs squeeze together as Misato let out something that was close to a shout.

I didn't let it bother me. I didn't know how I was having such a severe effect on her. Perhaps being so pent up meant anything was capable of giving her release. I didn't feel particular happy with the idea that anyone could be doing this to her.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind as I slid her panties down. I tried to remember what she had taught me that morning: one finger, tickling against her upper wall, while my other hand stroked her abdomen. Then two fingers, then finally three. She was squirming around like crazy, her hips bucking upwards, but I kept up my pace. I could see tears flowing down her face, as she looked at me with a desperate affection that couldn't be described as anything else.

I smiled at her, my hands refusing to stop as I leaned forward to kiss her face.

"I love you…Misato…"

Her eyes flew open, before immediately clenching, as she let out a wail that would have woken the dead. She was clenching her legs hard enough to cut off the blood flow to my hand, and in her final throes, her hands had clenched me in desperation as she flew over the edge.

I smiled at her gasping face.

I had done it.

I had finally proven myself.

And at long last…I could finally say what I truly felt.

xxxxx

Maybe I had been too mushy, saying things like that to Shinji. But the words had seemed to affect him severely. Enough for him to finally break out of his shell long enough for him to really get fired up. And it's not like it wasn't true.

But what had surprised me was hearing those three words come out of his mouth. No one, not even Kaji, had ever told me that, not even during sex. Hearing those words, from him, as he was stroking me to the edge of oblivion…

It had affected me a lot more than I expected.

"Shinji…" I sighed, taking his face in my hands. "What you said…do you…?"

"Of course I do, Misato," Shinji sighed as he laid down on top of me. "I always have."

I shook my head. "I…I always…I always thought my feelings for you was a guardian's love of their child…but now…"

Shinji looked up at me. Oh, why did his eyes have to be so adorable?

"Should I…not have said it?"

I stroked his face. "I…well, I enjoyed hearing it, Shinji…I mean, I came as soon as I heard you say it to me…no one's ever…" I saw Shinji blushing, and I decided to shut up about the sexual bits. "But, I mean…the way I feel for you…I…" I felt my whole body trembling. "I'm just so confused, Shinji…I want to think of you as an adult, now, Shinji. But every time you look at me like that…" I stared right into his eyes, "I can't help but see you as that little boy from long ago…"

I kissed him before he could respond. "And the thing is…well…as odd it may seem, the thought of making love to you as a little boy…it just seems to forbidden, so naughty…that it makes me feel excited all over again, Shinji…"

Shinji blushed again, and I could tell this subject made him uneasy. "I…I don't know what to say, Misato. I mean, if you want to see me like that… I don't know. I'm not that old yet. I'm only eighteen. And I…well, I really can't not see you as someone who's supportive and protective…and to be honest, that's the kind of person I really need right now."

I kissed his cheek. "But do mind having sex with someone like that?"

Shinji blushed heavily. "I…more than that, Misato…I really do love you…and I really do want to do these things with you…my only worries were that I wasn't good enough for you…"

I nipped his ear playfully, watching gleefully as his eyes clenched in arousal at the act. "You were fantastic this time around, Shinji…and I really think…"

Shinji opened his eyes, curiously.

"I really think…" I felt myself blushing. "That I'm falling in love with you as well."

Shinji smiled, tiredly. "I…"

I placed a finger on his lips. "Hush Shinji…now, let's see if I can't return the favor for you…"

xxxxx

I woke up again the next morning in Misato's futon, though this time we had somehow migrated there over the course of the night. Or so I'd convinced myself. Misato was resting besides me, and I was surprised that I'd actually managed to wake up before her. Maybe she'd finally had a decent night's sleep.

I admired her as she slept. Seeing her like this, peacefully resting, I could truly appreciate every aspect of her beauty. She was lying frontward, her face turned to the side, as though she were watching me as she'd fallen asleep.

I leaned forward and kissed her delicate features, fawning over every nuance of her form, content to lie there with her forever. My fingers stroked through her lavender hair, brushing through the silky tangles from the night's tossing and turning. I kissed her again, and her eyes finally opened, a warm smile greeting me as she woke.

"Hey…" she grinned like a cat.

I smiled back at her, brushing my fingers over her face. "Hey…"

Misato returned the kiss. "What are you doing?"

I smiled, considering my answer. "Just can't get over how beautiful you are."

Misato smiled, sheepishly. "Aw, thanks, Shinji…I know I don't look like much this early in the morning…"

I shook my head, before kissing her again. "You always look beautiful, Misato…" I took her by the shoulders, turning her over onto her back. I waited for some sort of reply, and smiled as she hummed in approval. Though nervous, I could tell that was her sign: she was enjoying where this was going.

I kissed her again as I laid my body on top of her, opening her legs with my knees, kissing her face all over. Her arms came up to lie beside her head, giving me full access to every part of her. I took her invitation with a touch of greed, and began to worship her every curve. Fondling her sumptuousness, my body laid itself between her legs, lighting her eyes on fire with a flare of sudden arousal.

I was glad I was at least having some kind of affect. While I must have drawn fluid from her a dozen times last night, it hadn't proceeded to any kind of penetration, and I still wanted to prove myself. Sliding down the thin barrier of her panties, I pushed her legs up and let myself be consumed by her warmth.

Misato's eyes flew open. "Shinji!"

I smiled, knowing what she wanted, but not knowing if I could give it to her. My stamina had proven to be very little as of late, and I was worried that I would tire out before she reached her peak.

I began to go to work, and her head tossed back with every motion, as the heat and friction caused her whole body to awaken.

Minutes passed, and my diaphragm was beginning to burn. I looked at her eyes, and saw the same passion from earlier.

Nothing more, nothing less.

I gasped through sweating breaths and drops of sweat. "How close?"

Misato bit her lip. "It's…not yet…"

I clenched my eyes and kept at it, even as my whole body began to slacken. She was enjoying it, but I could tell it was far from mind blowing. How missionary became such a popular style was beyond me. Aside from an incentive to keep guys like me in shape, the amount of work demanded on the male was substantial, and it wasn't something I was able to match.

Defeated and exhausted, I collapsed on top of her, shaking my head. No word's came out of my mouth; nothing I could say could truly convey just how worthless I felt right then. Here she was, offering herself to me, and I couldn't even truly please her.

She gave a few gasps before smiling like she always did, stroking my hair. "It's okay, Shinji…"

I hung my head, before pulling out. I slid my shorts on quickly, before letting my hands take over, resuming the task.

It didn't take long. Five minutes later, I was cooking breakfast, and Misato was eagerly awaiting what I had in store.

At least that was one thing I was good at.

xxxxx

It's not like it was the first time it's happened. Okay, so it was, but it was also the first time I've slept with someone under the age of twenty before. Maybe there was a reason I've never gone out with starving artists before, but I understood that lack of performance was not all that uncommon.

And hey, at least he finished the job manually.

Conversation was difficult during breakfast. At first, it was because I was gorging myself (how that boy had mastered western cuisine I would query upon later) but as the food disappeared, I was convinced that Shinji once again saw himself as a failure.

"Shrug it off, Shinji," I said as I sipped my coffee. I had since kicked the alcoholism; something we both agreed was for the better. "It's not that big a deal."

Shinji rolled his eyes. "Yeah. So I suck in bed. No big deal."

I shook my head. "Yeah, well, in case you haven't noticed, you haven't been keeping in the best of shape either. Or do you think I haven't noticed how little you've been eating?"

Shinji just frowned.

"Have you seen a dietitian, Shinji?" I asked, trying to keep up the conversation. "Maybe you could afford to put on some pounds."

Shinji furrowed his brow. "What difference will it make?"

I shook my head. "Shinji, you'll get better, I promise! And hey, at least you were enough of a gentleman not to leave me hanging."

Shinji's mood didn't ease up.

It occurred to me that, while he at least helped me peak, I hadn't returned the favor. "You're not blue-balling, are you?"

Shinji's face went beet red. "What does that mean?"

It was my turn to blush. "Um…well…"

Shinji turned his head away, frustrated.

I clocked myself in the forehead. Great move, Misato! Way to further convince him how much he's got left to learn!

"I'll tell you what, Shinji, I'll make it up to you."

He looked oddly at me. "For what? I'm the one who's got something to make up for."

Bad choice of words.

"I mean, let me do something to take your mind off of it."

Shinji shook his head. "Just forget about, Misato. This is my problem, there's really no sense in trying to solve it for me."

I sighed. He was still running away.

"Well, I'm serious about finding something to take your mind off it," I replied. "I mean…no offense, but if you think about it, if you can't last more than ten minutes, the two of us are going to get pretty bored holed up in here by ourselves."

Shinji cringed, but I could tell he saw the logic in that.

"Why not see how Toji and Hikari have been doing? It's been a while since we've paid them a visit."

Shinji's mood lightened a touch. "That's sounds fun."

I smiled, but it was pretty obvious that this conversation was far from over. "Alright then. I'll give them a call."

xxxxx

Shinji's POV

I felt useless. Again. I mean, there I was, bedding the pinnacle of womanliness, and I couldn't even satisfy her. Even if I were to get some exercise, it would be months before I could perform to standard. How Mister Kaji had done it was beyond me.

Hell, how Toji had done it was beyond me. I had just learned from Misato that Hikari was expecting.

Before we headed over to the Suzuhara's, Misato had offered to take me somewhere, but she hadn't specified where. All she was willing to tell me was that it something I should probably see.

My suspicion turned into confusion as we arrived at a cemetery. I stopped as Misato stepped out of the car and into the grassy field, eying the number of dark stone monoliths lining the plain.

"Come on, Shinji," Misato offered her hand. "There's someone you should see."

I gulped before nodding, stepping forward, taking her hand.

It felt…surprisingly nice.

We had touched several times in the past few days, but this was one of the few that were for comfort rather than intimacy. She could tell I was nervous, and she was reassuring me by squeezing my hand.

It felt…surprisingly nice.

"Here we are," she said, stilly.

I opened my eyes and saw one of the few relatives I could boast.

Or at least, his name.

"Father…" I muttered.

I had pushed that man from my memory since leaving, and I had never looked back since. This was the first time I'd even thought about him.

"Do you want some time alone?" Misato offered.

I could tell that there was more to that question than was evident. Misato was willing to stay with me. She was willing to deal with every problem I would have to face, from evil fathers to performance problems. I could see in her eyes, the devotion that I would never find anywhere else.

I shook my head. "If…if it's alright with you, would you mind staying with me?"

Misato smiled.

Just like she always did.

"Of course."

xxxxx

A/N: Well, I wasn't sure how to end this chapter. This whole chapter was bordering on a lemon, and I wasn't sure whether or not fan fiction dot net would allow this much. But overall, I'm satisfied. Introducing a more problematic issue to Shinji's inexperience, I thought, would add some substance to an otherwise bland romance story.

I'm finding it difficult to keep the ball rolling with this, because aside from a past spent together in the Evangelion series, Shinji and Misato don't have very much in common. Aside from the age difference, there's a complete separation of interests – Shinji's into the finer things in life, while Misato lives much more casually.

Any suggestions as to where this story should be going would be appreciated. I was thinking of adding an element of suspense to the story and throwing in the mystery behind Ayanami's disappearance, but that wouldn't contribute all too much to Shinji and Misato's relationship, I don't think.

Read and review.