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Disclaimer: I haven’t unpacked my creativity yet. I don’t own Harry Potter.
A/N: And here we go! The sequel to Customer Service, Customer Satisfaction, begins! I know many of the formats will be very similar to the last story, but I’m planning on doing a lot of other things too . . . so I reserve the right to make this story look however I want it! So thanks for your advice and input; I’ll take some of it into consideration . . . Um, for those who demand lemons . . . NOPE! So sorry, I don’t write lemons . . . or any other fruit for that matter.
As I just moved to England, I cannot guarantee quick and speedy updates . . . I haven’t started classes yet, so who knows when I’ll find the time to write. I ask for your patience . . . Again, I want to thank you for all of your support and I hope that you will not be disappointed with the sequel! Much love!
“Which is?”
“A prenuptial agreement.”
…
“Say it again.”
“A prenuptial agreement?”
“Again.”
“Prenuptial agreement.”
“I love it when you talk dirty. . .”
“Well I’ll be damned!”
“Hermione married Malfoy?”
“Yeah man.”
“Well I’ll be damned.”
“Oh all right . . . seven, seven times.”
“…”
“Gin?”
“Well I’ll be damned!”
CUSTOMER SATISFACTION
June – Part One
“Why are you still calling me Granger, Malfoy? We’ve been married for two weeks now!”
“Old habits die hard? Well if I called you Malfoy, then it’d be like talking to myself, wouldn’t it?”
“Or, you could call me Hermione.”
“No, I’m ‘fraid that just won’t do.”
Knock, knock, knock!
“What did you do that for? We don’t want whatever monsters that live in this rubbish pile to wake up and eat us!”
“Oh do shut it, Malfoy. This is my parent’s house!”
“Wait, I thought you said we were going out for dinner.”
“I said we were going out to MY PARENT’S HOUSE for dinner!”
“Oh, right. Well, it looks like they’re not home . . .”
“Nonsense, we’ll just go in then . . . Hello? Mum . . . Dad?”
“Right . . . you lived here then?”
“All my life, before Hogwarts . . .”
“Hmm . . .”
“Please wipe that disgusting look off your face before my mother sees you, Malfoy. I don’t want her thinking I married an ugly rodent.”
“I simply don’t see how your family could live in this hovel. It’s simply dreadful. Really, how did you come out with such impeccable hygiene?”
“Honestly Malfoy, my house is just fine. I ask you not to make fun of it any more, especially in front of my parents. Really, your standards are much too high.”
“Well they can’t possibly be that high. I’m married to you.”
“No, no dear. That’s because my standards are too low.”
IGotLucky7: Not yet. Really, it’s such a pain – nobody wants to live next to libraries. They all want to live near the clubs and pubs.
Lucky7: How’d your mum react when you told her you were moving in with me?
IGotLucky7: Err . . . fine?
Lucky7: You didn’t tell her, did you?
IGotLucky7: I couldn’t Harry! I tried to! I went over for brunch, like I told you, and I was all ready to tell her . . . then she pulled out her wedding album and became all nostalgic, talking about how she and daddy waited until their wedding night because that made it all the more special and blah blah blah . . . The guilt was incredible! I just couldn’t tell her ‘Oh, that’s real sweet mum. By the way, Harry’s great in the sack and I’m moving in with him so we can do it every night!’ . . . It would’ve broken her heart!
Lucky7: Every night? Really?
IGotLucky7: Honestly, Harry! Maybe I shouldn’t move in . . .
Lucky7: No! We’ll figure out how to tell her . . . Really, financially it’s the best option because you can’t afford to keep the apartment without a roommate.
IGotLucky7: But Hermione did offer to continue paying her share of the rent until it’s sold . . . it’s not like she can’t afford it now, but I don’t want her to have to do that either. It’s all a mess!
Lucky7: We’ll figure it out Gin, don’t worry.
“Hermione dear! We weren’t expecting you for another half hour!”
“Oh, right, well . . . you know me, always prompt!”
“Too true, dear. Ah, this must be Draco.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Granger. I can see where Hermione gets her glare – I mean beauty - from.”
“Oh my, you are quite the charming one. Please, call me mum, Draco – we’re family now!”
“Now don’t get too carried away, Nancy, he belongs to Hermione. . . Hello son, I’m Ted Granger, Hermione’s father.”
“Good to meet you sir.”
“My, that’s a firm handshake you’ve got. Good strong lad you’ve got there Hermione.”
“Uh, right Dad. Uh . . . you two can stop shaking hands now. Dad? Draco!”
“Err, right then – let’s have a seat, shall we?”
“Hey Ron.”
“Harry.”
“Too lazy to walk five feet to my door Ron? Felt the need to floo in?”
“Well it was a ten foot walk from the kitchen to the floo, mate.”
“Right . . . so what do you want to do? Gin’s busy at work till late and Hermione and Malfoy are at her parent’s for dinner.”
“Feel sorry for the Grangers right now . . . Malfoy’ll eat them alive!”
“Hardly, Hermione’s got him trained already . . . He’ll keep his mouth shut if he knows what’s good for him. . . So what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know . . . . . If anything, I taught Hermione my right hook the other day in case he gets fresh.”
“Ron, they are married you know. It’s his right to get ‘fresh’ with his wife.”
“Ugh, don’t call her that. I’m trying to forget they’re married by pretending that he’s her pet ferret. It’s just a phase . . . just a phase . . .”
“Uh, I don’t think it’s a phase mate. Or, it’s a ‘for as long as you live’ phase if it is one. Anyway, what should we do tonight?”
“I’m not sure . . . Wait, so when are you and Gin going to begin your phase? Pick a date yet?”
“Uggggh, please don’t remind me . . . Planning a wedding is a terrible, terrible thing! I thought the man just sat back and watched but Gin and your mum want me to play an active role . . . I proposed, didn’t I? That’s active enough for me!”
“Well, you don’t want to show up wearing pink robes do you? You might as well get what you want out of the whole thing.”
“I suppose . . . I think Gin and I should elope like Hermione and Malfoy; it’d solve all our problems – especially with Gin moving in –”
“What?”
“Err, nothing . . .”
“Ginny’s moving in here? Now? Before the wedding?”
“You can’t tell your mum Ron! Or anyone for that matter! Ginny can’t afford to keep the apartment with Hermione gone and we’re both so stressed out that it just seems logical . . .”
“I always knew Ginny was a little more liberal than the rest of us . . . but I just can’t believe she’s corrupting you too mate! You know my mum’ll kill you when she finds out – and trust me, she will find out! She’s always thought of Ginny as her perfect, pure little angel – she may love you like a son, but when she finds out you’re the reason Ginny isn’t so innocent, she’ll likely throttle you before hexing your bits off.”
“You paint a lovely picture there Ron . . . You’re taking this rather well, I must say.”
“Well, with all the surprises of the last few weeks . . . this ranks amongst the smallest. I think my tolerance level is rising, don’t you?”
“Yes it is. Dr. Spencer really works, doesn’t he?”
“Sure does. I’ve only been there twice since I saw Hermione and Malfoy leaving the chapel and he’s really helped me put things into perspective. In fact, he’s so understanding of the whole situation, it’s as if he’s got the perspective from all angles.”
“He’s brilliant, really. . . So what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know . . .”
“That would be wonderful, Hermione. . . Why don’t you boys go and sit in the living room and we’ll be there shortly.”
---
“Hermione!”
“Draco, what is it?”
“Don’t leave me alone with your father.”
“Oh honestly, don’t be such a baby. He’s harmless.”
“Harmless! Hardly, he’s been eyeing me all night. Every time I touched you he’d shoot me a glare.”
“You’re making that up. Just go in there and I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Fine, but you owe me . . .”
---
“So tell me son, what is it you do exactly?”
“I’m the President and CEO of my company, Malfoy International. I dabble in medical and potions research and am currently in the midst of merging with the largest Wizarding Telecommunications Corporation.”
“That’s very interesting son. So what you’re telling me is that you’re rather successful?”
“Well, I can assure you that Hermione will be very well provided for, sir.”
“Do you travel much?”
“A fair bit. I’m usually out of office three months of the year.”
“Right, good, good. So Draco . . . keep any mistresses?”
“Sir?”
“Because I won’t let some big-shot corporate tycoon run around the town while my daughter sits at home, miserable and alone.”
“Sir, I promise you that –”
“Promises mean nothing to me, son! I want to know that you will remain faithful to my daughter for as long as you shall live. If I ever hear of you running around with tarts and trollops on business trips, then I’ll personally see to it that you’ll never be able to run again, if you catch my meaning, son.”
“Crystal clear, sir.”
“Good then. I’m glad we have an understanding . . . Ah, Nancy dear – all done?”
“Yes dear. You know Hermione and her little wand are quite the little helpers in the kitchen. Normally she likes to do the dishes by hand, but for some reason she insisted on using her wand. Who am I to stop her? . . . So, did you boys have a nice chat?”
“. . . Hello Blaise darling . . . I know you’re working late at the office tonight but I couldn’t wait until you got home to tell you the good news (Mummy!) . . .Not now baby – Anyway, I found out the sex of the baby (Mummy! Mum mum mum mum mum!) . . . Katerina, mum’s on the phone, not now! Right, anyway, we are having . . . (MUMMMMMMMMYYYYY!) Oh blast it, hang on a sec – click!”
“. . . Katerina is certainly your daughter. She just wouldn’t stop screaming at me until I fed her! Really, the way to an Italian’s heart is through the stomach. I was hoping she’d have more Russian in her, but apparently not . . . Well there is hope for our son, perhaps he’ll be more like his mum . . . That’s right . . . We’re having a boy! I love you baby! Call me as soon as you get this message!”
“Granger, I’m never going to your parent’s house again!”
“Nonsense! You will be going over there every Sunday from now until eternity for brunch, whether you like it or not!”
“Forever? No! That’s it, we’re moving!”
“They’d still only be an Apparate away, Draco! What is your problem? The evening went splendidly, I think. My mum thinks you look like a blond Timothy Dalton.”
“Who?”
“Nevermind.”
“Right, well, your dad scares me. He threatened to castrate me if I ever cheated on you.”
“Please, he says that to all of my boyfriends. He’s told that to Harry and Ron at least on ten separate occasions.”
“Wait, you dated Potty?”
“No! I’m just saying that even my male friends have been given the third degree by my father.”
“Good, because I’d have to reconsider our marriage knowing you and Potter had . . . you know . . . done what we do.”
“You’ve nothing to worry about sweetheart. Now, Ron and I on the other hand . . .”
“La, la, laaa – I can’t hear yooouuuu!”
“Oh Draco, honestly! What’s in the past is in the past! I’m married to you now, which means we can do what we do whenever . . . you . . . want.”
“Whenever I want?”
“Mmhmm.”
“So . . . after dinner, then?”
“Sure.”
“And right when I wake up?”
“Yup.”
“And on Saturdays after pick up Quidditch?”
“Absolutely.”
“And during lunch, in the office, on my desk?”
“Well. . .”
“And around two pm, in the board room?”
“When I said whenever, I meant within reason . . .”
“Well you didn’t imply that – I’m simply taking you at your word. You said whenever, and I want whenever!”
“Well people in hell want ice water! You can’t always get what you want, Malfoy!”
“That’s funny Hermione. I . . . always . . . get . . . what . . . I . . . want. And I . . . want . . . you!”
“Ahh!”
“Come here my little wife!”
…
“Draco! Stop! Stop chasing me! Dracoooo!”
“Not until you give me what I want!”
…
“Expelliarmus!”
“Malfoy! That’s not fair! We made a rule before – no wands!”
“Petrificus Totalus!”
Thunk!
“Whoops. Haha, sorry dear . . . I meant for you to fall on the couch, not the floor. It’s all right though, because our destination is the bedroom . . . Now don’t give me that glare . . . Yes I broke the rules . . . but it’s in my nature . . . can’t be helped . . . You didn’t think I’d actually take them seriously, did you? . . . Oh well, I didn’t . . . You’re sweet for thinking though, dear. Don’t worry, I’ll free you once we get to the room . . . You’re rather light dear, you need to eat more, girlish figure be damned . . . I like my woman to be curvy . . . Right then . . . here we go, on the bed now . . . Ahh, better, yes? Now you have to promise me that you won’t scream at me or hit me when I let you go . . . stare at me blindly if that’s a yes. . . Good then, here we go . . . finite incantatum.”
…
“Darling, you all right then?”
…
“Baby?”
…
Thawack!
“Owww! Damn Hermione! You promised you wouldn’t hit me!”
“I slapped you Draco, there’s a difference! Besides, you didn’t actually think I was serious, did you? . . . Oh, you did, that’s rather stupid of you.”
…
“Malfoy? All right love? I didn’t slap you that hard, you know.”
…
“Draco? Why are you staring at me like that? Draco?”
“Hermione, you are a Slytherin at heart. Gryffindor be damned! You’ve never been so hot before! I need you now and don’t deny me woman!”
“You are too easy, love . . . too easy . . .”
P.P.S. For some reason, somewhere, I read or heard that Hermione’s parents names are Ted and Nancy Granger. It might have been from an earlier fan fiction story, but I don’t really remember . . . but all the time, whenever I think of the parents, those are the names that stick whether they are canon or not – so that is what I work with. If they are not canon, but fanon from someone’s story, I’m borrowing them – they’re not my names . . . but I think they might be . . . my twisted mind and what it believes is not to be understood.
P.P.S. On my second day here, I drove past the bank that was used as Gringott's in the movies - soooo neat! And I took a picture of a pub called the 'Hog's Head' . . . Man I love England!
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