|Losing myself in you
Author: Cathelijne PM
What happens when Justing starts developing feelings for Andrew? AndrewJustin..slash. Chapter 9 is up! Please R&R! :Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,826 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 01-19-07 - Published: 09-23-05 - id: 2590322
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hello everyone! I have a new chapter and it hasn't even been that long! I must say I am feeling quite proud of myself for being all updatey and stuff! ;) Hope you guys like it, please leave a review:)
The next day I woke up still peacefully lying in Andrew's arms. I dared not move, afraid to wake Andrew. I don't know how long I just laid there; just staring out the window, through which sunlight now lit up the room. I found myself constantly trying to imagine what would happen when Andrew would wake up, even though I tried my best not to. I was never good with situations where I didn't know what would happen. Obviously this was such a situation and all those uncertainties really made me insecure. It astounds me how some people swear by the life philosophy: 'going with the flow'. I mean really, going with the flow? I obviously don't believe in it. For me, the idea of being dragged down the so-called flow, while not knowing where I'll end up is a highly unpleasant idea. I like knowing my destination, at least that limits the amount of painful situations. When you know where you are going, you can figure out the least painful way to get there. And so far, it always worked for me.
Unfortunately, with this whole situation with Andrew, I didn't just seem to be flowing in the average flow of life. No, the flow I was in more resembled the flow of a tide wave during a storm. It was weird to think that it was only a few weeks ago that this whole situation started. It seemed a lifetime ago. Good things as well as bad things had happened in those few weeks. Actually, it would almost seem that in those few weeks I had reached both the lowest and the highest points in my life. I had been badly hurt but I also had felt the greatest feeling of all, I had felt the feeling of love. Which of course was a good thing, but now I was terrified of losing it. Some people say it is better to have love and lost, than to have never lost at all, but I wasn't quite convinced yet.
My thought were suddenly disturbed by an awaking Andrew.
"Good morning", he yawned while wrinkling his nose and I couldn't help but smile at how cute it looked. He rubbed his eyes and I admired his handsome features as he sat up in the bed.
"Good morning", I whispered smiling and Andrew got up from the bed to look out the window.
"It's a nice day. Maybe we should go to that pool party, you know, the one that my weirdo-neighbour is throwing. It's probably a total bore but we could get a swim" Andrew suggested and I was momentarily confused as to what he was talking about. Oh, right. He mentioned this pool party that one of his neighbours was throwing some time ago. Apparently, the boy was a total freak and Andrew himself quite seemed to like ridiculing him, so I was kind of surprised he actually wanted to go.
"Are you actually suggesting going? You were the one saying that the party was the lamest thing you ever heard", I said laughing. It was quite funny how Andrew could suddenly change his mind all the time. You'd hear him saying one thing one day, to completely here him contradict it the next. Andrew laughed and slowly came back over to the bed. Good, right where I wanted him.
"I know what I said, smart-ass", Andrew replied, crawling up to me smirking, "But I changed my mind. Now, if you don't want to go with me. That's fine, I'll just have to find someone else to entertain me I guess"
I gave him the evil eye. He truly was a born manipulator. You could have a discussion with him about the stupidest things, about things you knew you were right about and still end up slightly doubting your rightfulness after all. I groaned in annoyance, as I knew that he knew that I'd go. God, I'm such a loser. And the problem is; he knows it. He knows he can practically persuade me of doing or believing anything he says. Having known him for some time by now, I hardly even objected to him most of the time. There just wasn't really a point to it. Besides, I didn't really mind, I had always been more of a follower and I know that it sounds corny but just looking into his eyes made me willing to be his loser any day.
"Fine. I'll go, I was just saying", I said rolling my eyes jokingly.
"Great, that's settled then", Andrew grinned triumphantly, "So I'll go and call Lisa and the others and see how they feel about going, okay?". My face fell instantly. Lisa and the others? Why call Lisa and the others? I didn't want Lisa and the others to come. I knew that it wasn't really that big of a deal whether they came or not, but I still didn't want them to. Because if they'd come, we would have to pretend nothing was going on the entire night. I didn't want to pretend. I didn't want to share Andrew with Lisa and the others. The thought alone of having to keep my distance from him the entire night was depressing. Andrew must have read my thoughts as he shuffled a little closer and smiled.
"Come on, Justin. We'd still be there together", Andrew said smiling and I was momentarily paranoid about whether or not he was patronizing me. I felt like such a little child. Like a little child who had to share his toys with others. I know it was stupid, I know it was immature but I still didn't want to do it. It wasn't just the fact that I would have to keep my distance all the time, it was also the fact that Andrew acted so different around other people. I guess I was just scared it would break my bubble. Even though I was in love with the guy, I still knew he could be an ass and especially in front of other people. I sighed as Andrew looked at me expectantly.
"It's fine. But you better think a good way to reward me for sharing you!", I said in a sort of mock-childish voice making Andrew laugh. I hoped he realized I meant it though.
I lazily got off the bed while Andrew went to call some friends. I stretched and got my jacket which was draped over one of the chairs in the room. John was probably getting a little worried by now, after all I hadn't even told him I was going to Andrew's and I ended up staying the night. I felt the butterflies flying around in my stomach again as I remembered last night. It had been great. Hell, it had been the greatest night of my life.
"You're going already?", I heard a voice saying behind me as I felt Andrew's arms wrapping themselves around my waist. I turned around to face him and I grinned at his pouting face.
"Yeah, if you're going to keep me waiting all night I might as well torture you while doing it by looking the best I can. And in order to that, I really need to go home to shower and get changed.", I said only half joking.
"You could take a shower here", Andrew said suggestively and I was very tempted to take him up on his offer, but I wanted to keep him waiting.
"I guess I could-", I said, I leaned in to kiss him and I had to control myself not to drag him to the shower anyway. I managed to maintain myself and I stepped back zipping up my jacket, "- but I won't". The look in Andrew's eyes was absolutely priceless. I was actually feeling quite the man, making him wait like that. The only disadvantage was that I was now feeling quite needy myself.
"Fine", Andrew spoke squinting his eyes at me evilly, "Well then I guess I'll see you tonight Mr. Prude" I laughed and couldn't resist pressing my lips against his quickly before leaving. It was only a small kiss but it was enough to make my heart beat faster.
"See you tonight!", I called through the hall while making my way down the stairs. I practically floated to my car and I drove home in total bliss.
I was falling madly in love and it was the greatest feeling in the world.