Title: Big Fat Poopy Head!

Author: Ster Julie

Codes: TOS; Daycare Center

Rating: PG

Part 1 of 1

Summary: Uh-oh … The children learned a new idiom at Daycare!

A/N: When I taught 2nd grade, there was one name that the children would call each other just to make someone cry: Alien! I banished it from my room and called it "the other A-word." My parents couldn't understand why their little darlings would get a "time-out" for using such an innocent word. I told them, "Any word that makes another child cry is a bad word in my book." You could say that this story is based on a modicum of fact.

-ooOoo-

No one remembered who started it and no amount of correction, threats or punishment deterred the children from labeling each other, whether in anger or in jest, a "Big fat poopy-head!"

"Get out of my seat, you big fat poopy-head!"

"It's my turn, you big fat poopy-head!"

"Give it back, you big fat poopy-head!"

"Quit pushin' me, you big fat poopy-head!"

Mr. R firmly closed the large storybook he was trying to read to the class. This had to stop!

"Children, what is our number one rule?" he asked.

"I should treat others the way I would like to be treated," they all recited.

"I would not like to be called a 'Big fat poopy-head,'" Mr. R continued. The children giggled at the sound of an adult using that term. "I would not like to be called that, so I will not call anyone else a 'Big fat poopy head, nor will I tolerate anyone calling someone a 'Big fat poopy head.'" The children stuffed their hands against their lips to stifle another giggle.

Mr. R turned to Lenny McCoy.

"Lenny."

"Yes, sir," the boy responded.

"Lenny, do you like to be called a 'Big fat poopy-head'?"

"No, sir, I don't!" he said.

"But I hear you say it a lot," Mr. R observed.

Lenny hung his head. He peered around to see who was looking at him, staring daggers in return.

"Monty," Mr. R called next.

"Sair!"

"How about you? Do you like to be called a 'Big fat poopy-head'?"

"No, sair!" Monty replied. "Ah don't like it at all!"

"Jimmy?"

"I don't like it neither, Mr. R," Jimmy answered without being asked.

Little Spock politely raised his hand. "Mr. R?" he asked. What is a 'Big fat poopy-head'?"

All the kids groaned.

"It's when somebody acts mean or doesn't take turns or doesn't share," Jimmy explained to his friend.

"It's when somebody can't clean up her own mess 'cuz she's gotta fix her sparkly make-up," Chrissy sing-songed at Janny.

"It's when somebody turns off the lights when you're in the baff-room, even though he knows you're a-scared of the dark," Kenny hissed at Hikaru.

"It's when somebody throws rocks in the mud puddle and gets your new dress all dirty," Nyo said as she bugged angry eyes at Monty.

"It's when someone steals your friend," Lenny muttered, his arms crossed and head bowed.

"It sounds like we have all had our share of hurt feelings," Mr. R observed. "What name should we give this kind of behavior—besides 'Big fat poopy-head,' of course.

"They were just being mean," Jimmy tried.

"I don't think 'mean' is the best word," Mr. R continued with the impromptu lesson. "Monty, did you want to get Nyo's dress all muddy?"

"Och, nae," Monty responded. "I just wanted to try an' skip the rocks across the pond like me Da' showed me."

"And Hikaru, did you know that Kevvie was in the bathroom when you turned the lights out?"

"Nooo," Hikaru moaned. "I didn't see him in the baff-room." Hikaru put his little arm around Kevvie's shoulders. "I sorry, Kevvie. You're my best friend. I didn't mean to scare you."

Kevvie smiled and replied, "'S alright,'Karu."

Mr. R turned to their resident beauty queen. "Janny?"

"I'm sorry I left a mess, Mr. R," the girl explained, "but my mommy came early to take me to an appearance. I had to get ready in a hurry."

"So can one word be used that would best describe these kinds of behaviors?"

"Whaddya mean, Mr. R?" Jimmy asked.

"Let's try something else. What's inside your head?" Mr. R asked.

"Brains!" Lenny shouted, remembering the cutaway illustrations in his grandpappy's antique anatomy books.

"And what do you do with your brain?"

"You can't live without your brain," Spock observed. "It makes your heart beat and your lungs breathe. It controls all parts of your body."

"And what else should you do with your brain?"

"Learn stuff?" Chrissy asked.

"Good, Chrissy. What else, children?" Mr. R looked around at their blank little faces. "Think now. What else do you do with your brain?"

As if on cue, the children all yelled, "THINK!"

"Exactly," Mr. R praised. "So, to finally answer Spock's question, what is a 'Big fat poopy-head'?"

"Sumbuudy who don't think," Kevvie answered.

"Very good, Kevvie," Mr. R responded. "You could say that leaving a mess behind for someone else to clean, or throwing rocks into a mud puddle, or taking more than your fair share are all examples of thoughtless behavior."

"What about turning off the lights on Kevvie?" Lenny asked.

"That was an honest mistake," Mr. R countered. "What could be a more thoughtful act next time?"

"I could yell, 'I'm turning off the lights,'" Hikaru suggested.

"Well," Mr. R replied, not relishing the thought of yelling in the restroom, "how about asking, 'Is anyone in here?' instead?" Hikaru thought a moment, then nodded.

"'Kay."

"Well, children," Mr. R said as he checked his chrono, "it is time to put this lesson into action. Let's have a fifteen minute recess and practice being more thoughtful. That means, go and share the equipment. Help each other out. Be kind."

"But can we have fun?" Lenny asked.

Mr. R chuckled, "Of course. Just act like you have brains in your head."

"An' not ye-know-what," Monty commented in a stage whisper.

"Poop!" Baby Pavel said, making all the children giggle again.

As Mr. R looked outside, he saw a dozen seagulls circling the playground, looking for scraps of food that the children dropped at lunch recess.

"Watch out for the birds," he warned, just before one swooped overhead and relieved itself right on Mr. R, much to the children's horror. Ms. Dorothy took the baby from Mr. R's arms as he returned to the building to wash up. He bowed to the children, pointed to the mess and said, "Now, children, I guess I'm a real 'Big fat poopy-head'!"

-END-