|With the Heart and Underwear of Fire
Author: Diamond Avatar PM
Naruto wanted recognition, but not as a boxer shorts superninja! With challengers, girls, and women all hunting down Naruto's new alterego, he's going to have trouble making the real Naruto known! ActionRomanceHumor NARUXLOTTAGIRLSXBOXERRated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Naruto U. - Chapters: 25 - Words: 86,004 - Reviews: 1,343 - Favs: 1,023 - Follows: 566 - Updated: 11-22-06 - Published: 09-25-05 - Status: Complete - id: 2592916
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
With the Heart and Underwear of Fire
By Diamond Avatar
Chapter 1 – Who owns Those Boxers?
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of their terms, but I guess you couldn't consider Jutsu a Naruto term, since it's an actual term that is used to refer to actual ninjas at the time…. Something like that.
This is a story about Naruto's estranged recognition with the village earnt through strange means. A little bit of action, romance, and humor spliced together in this story. Romance with whom is the question. Hinata, Sakura…Maybe someone unexpected? Hell, maybe all of them? But it's going to be because they won't know that they're falling for Naruto! How does this work? Find out by reading.
Words in italics are Japanese phrases, Jutsu, or inner thought.
"I'm twice the ninja you'll ever be, Naruto!" Sasuke yelled in rage.
"Oh yeah, well I'm three times the ninja you'll ever be, Sasuke!" Naruto retorted.
"I'm five times the ninja you are!"
"Five hundred times you, Sasuke!"
"Well then I'm infinite times you!"
"Oh yeah! Well I'm…" Naruto squinted in thought. "Infinite you…plus three!"
"That's not even a real number, idiot," Sasuke said coolly.
"…Shut up!" Naruto puffed. "People call me the 'most surprising' ninja! Everyone knows that surprise is a ninja's strongest quality!"
"That's not the kind of surprise they meant when they dubbed you that, you noisy idiot!" Sasuke yelled in annoyance. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Then he grinned wickedly. "Okay, you want to prove you can surprise people? Surprise me. If you can keep out of my sight for twenty-four hours, I'll admit that you are the most surprising ninja."
"Ha! Is that all?" Naruto smirked heavily. "That's too easy! Maybe you should give me a handicap or something! Come on, pick anything!"
Sasuke's grin grew. 'Gotcha,' he thought to himself. "Okay, if that's what you want. You have to stay hidden from me, wearing only your boxer shorts and undershirt."
Naruto stared at him blankly. "What? Naked?"
Sasuke nodded, then looked at his watch. He closed his eyes. "Okay, we'll start…now. Undressing no Jutsu!"
Naruto blew up in a puff of smoke. When everything cleared, he found himself in his heart patterned boxers and white shirt, with his orange outfit in Sasuke's hands. "W-W-What the hell kind of stupid jutsu is that, you crazy moron!"
"Undressing no Jutsu, it's academy stuff," he shrugged. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see Naruto naked, fearing it would burn his eyeballs, and he'd lose his precious Sharingan.
"No it isn't!" he cried angrily. He froze, feeling eyes staring at him. "Gah, you could've at least given me a chance to run, you ass!" he yelled as he flipped away, leaping for the nearest rooftop and dashing off. Sasuke just looked up, and when he was certain he left, he started dancing, humming out music.
"Oh yeah, twenty-four hours without that peanut-brained loudmouth!"
He noticed people had begun to stare at him. He slowed down to a halt, clearing his throat.
"Um, my, uh, Dance no Jutsu, from the academy, um, sure is effective. Indeed," he nodded to himself. He walked away quietly, confused stares creeping on his back.
Naruto had 'cleverly' disguised himself onto the roof of a local twenty-four hour general store, filling his hands and feet with chakra to grip the roof as well as donning camouflage to look like the roof's texture. He smirked, chuckling to himself. "You're mine, Sasuke!"
"Not yet… Almost won…" he muttered. "Then again… Maybe if I get off for just a minute…"
At that moment, he heard the doorbell chime and saw Sasuke walk in. Tears formed in his eyes. "What the hell kind of timing is this?" he whispered in exasperation.
"Hey, Sasuke-kun!" the manager greeted him. He was a burly man with a bushy moustache. Sasuke nodded in acknowledgement.
"Just milk," Sasuke said, placing the bottle on the table along with some cash. The door chimed again. Naruto glanced to see Hinata walking in, carrying a purse in her hand.
"Ah, g-good morning, Sasuke-kun," Hinata said with a bow.
"Mm," Sasuke grunted back. He pointed at his milk. "Getting milk."
"Ah, yes, I see," Hinata answered shyly. "That's good…"
"Yes it is," Sasuke said coldly. Naruto looked at the two in wonder.
"Man, what a dull conversation topic," he murmured.
The door chime went off yet again. This time, a strange man Naruto had never seen before walked in. He was roughly as big as the storekeeper. His jacket, which had a tall collar, shielded his face. Naruto tried to check for a forehead protector, but couldn't see one. On his back, he carried a menacingly large metal club.
"Welcome sir!" the store manager said. "Can I help you?"
"That depends," the man's voice was rude, ticking Naruto off. With incredible speed, the man whipped up his club hammered the manager, sending him to the wall. "I didn't use my full strength that time," he cautioned. "and if you put all your money into a bag and give it to me, I won't have to."
The storekeeper nervously got to his feet, taking out a bag and opening the register. "I-I don't want no trouble…"
"You!" Sasuke jumped up attempting to kick him, but he was easily flicked away by the man's club, sending him down the aisle and into the back wall, dizzying him. Hinata was about to check on Sasuke, but was grabbed by the man.
"Hmm," he glanced at her purse, "You seem to be loaded today. Care to spare some money for a poor man?" he threatened.
"G-Get away!" Hinata tried to attack him, but he had already grabbed her arms with only one of his hands. He was much bigger than Hinata, and much more powerful.
"Nobody is stronger than me!" he bellowed, snatching her purse. He rose her higher into the air, then threw her down the aisle towards Sasuke. But her flight was cut short, as she was caught by a ninja who masked his face and hair with a roll of camouflage that resembled the roof, and wore heart-patterned boxers and a white shirt. The only distinguishable features were his red eyes and forehead protector.
'I have to be careful, or Sasuke will recognize me! Just gotta maintain the Fox's chakra for a little while…' he thought in a panic. He looked down at Hinata and said with a strain, trying not to lose himself in the Nine-tailed Fox. "Hey, are you okay, or what?"
"Ah…" Hinata looked up in confusion, feeling as though she knew this person, but couldn't recognize his eyes. He felt like someone she found important. Naruto looked up again and stared angrily at the thief.
"You!" he said, altering his voice to a deeper tone. "How dare you attack these people! I'll show you that I'm the strongest!"
The thief looked at the masked ninja with squinted eyes, before bursting out in laughter. "Some guy in heart-patterned boxers thinks he's stronger than me? Come on," he spread his arms and shut his eyes. "I'll give you a free shot!"
Nobody could see, but the masked ninja smiled underneath his mask. "Big mistake, big boy!"
The ninja set down Hinata, and raised his left arm. Red chakra began to swirl in it, static bolts flying out of it now and then. Naruto roared, the Fox's energy bursting inside him, seeping into his ball of chakra. The thief opened his eyes, noticing the powerful chakra. But he was too late. The masked ninja had begun his charge, and before the thief could react, he felt a massive force press into his stomach. The force would've flung him away had the ninja not grabbed him and held him down in front of him. "This is for hurting Hinata and Sasuke and the storekeeper man!"
The thief groaned in pain as the masked ninja carried him outside of the store. He then concentrated more energy, raising the thief above his head while still holding him into his ball of chakra.
The ninja let him go, and the thief flew up into the air at mach speeds. The ninja looked up as the man flew right out of the village. Naruto took a deep breath and relaxed. Until he noticed that everyone in the street was looking at him. He glanced around at the people. They looked at him in awe. Sasuke and Hinata had appeared at the store's doorway.
"Who are you?" Sasuke asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice.
"Thank you…" Hinata said softly to him, but was drowned out by the townspeople's cheers.
"Woah, you rock, whoever you are!"
"You're one strong guy!"
"I love your boxers, man! LOVE 'EM!"
Naruto would've enjoyed the praise, had he not remembered Sasuke's challenge. 'I can't let anyone find out it's me!' he thought. 'Or Sasuke won't say I'm better than him!'
Naruto jumped into the air, landing on the building's roof and jumping away. Sasuke jumped up after him. "Who are you!" he yelled, throwing a kunai at him. Naruto dodged by mere inches.
'Not good, he'll catch me at this rate!' Naruto thought hard. 'Okay!'
Naruto whipped around and ran straight at Sasuke. In surprise, Sasuke tried to reach a ready stance as soon as possible, planting his feet onto the ground with chakra and raising his arms to block any incoming attacks, which is what Naruto hoped for.
"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" he yelled quietly, hoping Sasuke wouldn't recognize his voice. Before Naruto could make contact with Sasuke, he burst into twenty copies, which ran in every direction.
Sasuke turned his head around, trying to work out which was the real one, but before he could activate his Sharingan, all the copies had gotten away. He cursed under his breath. "Who is that guy? If he took down that other guy where I failed, then he's probably much stronger than I am…Dammit."
"Did you hear about him too? The strong Konoha ninja?"
"Yeah! Yeah! The really strong ninja who doesn't even need armor when he fights!"
"Heard he saved Uchiha Sasuke's butt! The Uchiha Sasuke! He must be tough!"
"I heard he uses super strong techniques!"
"I heard he's a really good looking guy!"
"I heard he wears amazing boxers!"
"Man, who could possibly own those boxers?"
Townspeople were going crazy for the masked heart-patterned boxer ninja. Everyone, that is, but Sasuke. He sulked in the park where he had fought with Naruto yesterday.
"Grr, who could this guy be?"END CHAPTER 1
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