|The Night World Fables
Author: Salvatore Shan NW PM
A series of oneshots. What you shouldn't do when it comes to the Night World characters. First chapter is Jez and Morgead. Full of morals... trust me, it should be funny.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,714 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10-14-05 - Published: 09-30-05 - id: 2600021
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The Night World Fables
A Series Of One-Shots
Girls may find this funny, because it's a girl problem but boys might just be grossed out. Sorry!
That Time Of The Month
Jez was livid. Not because the man in the garage was refusing to fix her bike on account of her 'attitude problem' – no, it wasn't just that. It was that it was that time of the month again, and she hated it! Sometimes she wished that vampires didn't have them either – then she could choose to be lamia at the time and relive the glory days – forget all about stupid periods!
But she was a girl. And she'd get through it with her head held high. Except this guy was pushing her – jamming her with every sentence into the ground. Her head was now bowed. She felt as if he had a jackhammer and was hitting her over the head with it every time he said 'no'.
Jez could hear Morgead tapping his foot outside impatiently. If the man thought she had a behaviour problem, he did not want to meet her soulmate!
Jez scowled, ready to rant and rave at an instant's notice. Her head was pounding and all she could hear was the drip of oil tip tapping out from underneath a car.
The sound reverberated in her mind. She cringed and jammed her legs closer together. Damn period!
"Listen…" she said through clenched teeth. "My boyfriend is waiting for me outside. We are going on a picnic. This is the first time I've been allowed out of my house due to a…an illness. I'd really appreciate it if you'd fix up my bike. It wasn't my fault someone ran into it last night!"
The engineer's eyebrows rose up into his hair, but his expression didn't falter. He looked sceptical. "The management reserves the right to refuse service to any customer," he said – and this made Jez boil. That was the third time he'd said it. She clenched her fists.
"There isn't another garage this side of San Francisco that I can get to while walking." She tried very hard to sound polite, but also tried not to punch the man's face in. "Please. I'm begging you. Fix. It. Up." The words came out short – sharp and poisoned. The man snorted.
"If you carry on this way, I'll have to call the police." He smiled – showing a set of teeth, one of them glinting like gold.
Stupid, stupid human! Jez thought.
She felt very, very uncomfortable. Glancing at the clock over the man's shoulder, she checked the time. Approaching one o'clock… seeing as she changed her Tampax every four hours – just to be safe – she intended to hop into a bathroom any time soon. She knew she was particularly heavy today…
"If you call the police that's not gonna make my bike go away," she pointed at it, jabbing the air furiously.
The engineer glanced at it. It wasn't a custom job. Just an ordinary black motorbike. But there was nothing ordinary about the beautiful girl before him. Still, he wouldn't let good looks faze him. She had a mouth the size of the Grand Canyon.
The motorbike wasn't too badly broken – he wouldn't even have to work on it long. The way the girl wanted it fixed so badly… she must really love that bike…
He snapped out of it.
Customers didn't get anywhere with him if they weren't nice. And this girl was on fire – he could see lines of anger creep across her forehead, her eyes were narrowed and her mouth was a tight line. Her nose was twitching; her blue-grey eyes were practically silver.
Jez's eyes snapped to the engineer's nametag. Brian. His name was Brian.
Damn, if only she was a vampire… if only she had fed… then maybe she could've influenced him to fix her bike. Maybe she should call in Morgead after all…
Jez briefly noticed that a queue was gathering behind her. A man was flicking a leaflet between his fingers over and over, looking puzzled and distressed – his eyes fixed intently on the back of Jez's head, spying her flame-red hair.
Jez gritted her teeth. "Brian," she began smoothly, "I'll pay you double if you do it. I don't care how much – just do it now."
Jez started shivering unpleasantly. Her stomach was aching – gnawing away inside of her. Oh Goddess, I hate period pains. She lowered her gaze and wrapped an arm around her abdomen. An old woman three places behind her in the queue piped up: "Are you alright, dear?"
Jez turned and half-smiled. She nodded, but the effect was lost when she cringed – the smile turning into a grimace. She turned back.
Brian still didn't react.
"You wouldn't have enough money." He sneered. "Now, get out and take your piece of trash with you." He nodded at the bike.
Jez – though she was still in pain – lifted her head slowly. Her eyes were narrowed so much that the irises couldn't be seen through the thin slits the eyelids didn't cover. Brian saw fire dance in her pupils – an endless abyss of anger.
"What… did… you… call… my… bike?" Jez said, very, very slowly. She raised her head so she and Brian were only centimetres apart, tossing her fiery hair back over her shoulder. Her stomach twanged and she almost lost her balance, but she stared into Brian's face, fearlessly.
Brian wasn't stupid. He was used to bunny-boilers like this one and drunken louts. He wasn't afraid. "I called it 'a piece of trash'. The only thing I'd let you pay me to do with that is take it to the junkyard. Now get out of my garage and don't come back."
The threat was said to the wrong person at the wrong time.
Jez was welling up with anger. She felt like she was going to burst. All the while there was that tap-tap-tapping of the oil in the background, and the nervous whispers of the waiting customers behind her. The old woman was sighing, apparently feeling sorry for Jez.
Jez grinned devilishly. Time for reinforcements… "Morg–" but she stopped. Something felt horribly wrong. Was she… was she really–? She blushed furiously.
"Can I use your bathroom?" she asked Brian suddenly, bouncing up and down uncomfortably.
Brian laughed out loud. "Not likely."
"Please. Please, just for a second." Jez begged. "I really, really need to–"
"I told you to buzz off!"
"I promise I'll go afterwards…"
"No. I don't trust you. And what's more – why would I lend out a bathroom to a slut like you?" he raved. His words stung. Jez fell backwards, her feelings ripped up into shreds.
She balled her hands up into fists. "I'm going now." She said, head cocked on one side, arrogantly. She turned on her heel… but then Brian did something. He did it so unexpectedly and so inappropriately that Jez blushed scarlet and whirled round, eyes aflame. He slapped my ass?
Brian was grinning, showing all of his teeth. It had been a good hard slap, and one of Jez's cheeks stung painfully. The dirty pervert!
Jez was furious… and blood was running…
She swore loud enough for Morgead to hear. Her soulmates' skin bristled like a cats and he started heading to the garage.
A gleam of blue light shot out from the garage door and illuminated the entire street brighter than the daylight ever could.
Morgead took a step back, covering his sensitive vampire eyes and hissing, unhappily. Electric bolts were leaping and dancing about the large, open driveway of the garage. He could hear someone screaming – a battle cry from Jez. It was low and angry…
Morgead gulped. The light snapped off suddenly – almost as if a switch had been flicked. He dared open in his eyes, saw that it was safe, and took a deep breath.
"Jez?" he called, timidly. He crept into the garage.
What he saw there stunned him into silence.
The man behind the till was blackened and sooty from head to toe. His eyes were wide open and unblinking – he was staring at Jez in disbelief.
Jez was panting, her red hair flying about her elegantly – making her seem like a rogue demoness.
Her eyes flicked towards her bike. It… was… ruined!
"Damn blue fire!" she screeched, ringing her arm angrily. "I should have asked one of those bloody witches to block it up after all!"
Morgead was shaking. Brian started blinking fervently.
Jez slowly wheeled her bike back down the driveway, cursing like there was no tomorrow.
Brian stared at her retreating back, then let out a dramatic sigh and collapsed, thumping to the floor.
Morgead's eyes followed his soulmate in disbelief.
Jez, realising she was being watched with keen, emerald-green eyes, stared back at him.
"What?" she said innocently, letting go of her bike and raising her hands up to shrug.
Her motorbike clattered to the floor and the handlebars detached themselves – running away from her down the driveway.
"DAMN IT!" Jez squealed, bending to pick them up.
Morgead started gibbering something, but then everything went black. His eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted – exasperated.
Jez ran up to him, hands on hips – temporarily forgetting about her bike.
She stuck a finger in her mouth, looking like a child who'd just been scolded.
"Oops," she said simply and wondered how she would explain all this back at HQ. So much for a romantic picnic…