Cir: Sorry, about the long wait, but it's hard to think of ideas and I had a few things to do in life. But now I have an idea!

Vegeta: I actually like this one:)

Cir: You only know the beginning…

Vegeta:(

Cir: Stop that.

Vegeta:\

Cir: Happy Easter people!

Case 6: WTF?

Introduction:

Today, I got bored… … … … … dum da dum-dum… … … Oh, wait, I need to say something. READ! SEND ME MONEY!

The Case:

I sat down. The judge was also taking a seat. You may want to know what the big deal with this case is. Cabrak’s in the defense seat, yeah, that right, I’M SUING SOMEONE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Okay, Kakarott thinks I went a bit overboard but screw him.

“Now to start this session,” the judge said. “I have a feeling this will be a very strange one, Vegeta, tell us what you are accusing Cabrak for.”

“What aren’t I accusing him for?” I demanded.

“I don’t see anything about assault, home invasion, plagiarism, robbery, smuggling, illegal drugs, poison, attempted murder-”

“Okay, please stop,” I interrupted. “He nearly killed me!”

“A semi poisonous snake with the brain capacity of a glass of orange juice nearly got you killed?”

“Yup!”

“I didn’t do anything!” Cabrak hissed.

“That’s what they all say,” I said.

“What’s what they all say, he was speaking snake language!” the judge said.

“Point please?”

“Just tell me the story.”

“Well, it was a normal day, when suddenly…”

Here’s a little flashback instead.

I was sitting on the couch watching pirated movies when Cabrak came in through the window, literally. “!”

I barely understood that, so don’t ask how I wrote what he said.

“Snake, what are you doing here?”

“’SCALLEDCOFFEEWANNAHAVESOME?”

Well, this is going no where, so I’ll tell you how he nearly killed me. Search “Death by Caffeine”, go to “coffee (brewed)” and put 212 lbs. In case you’re too lazy, it says I can only drink 134.60 cups before dying. I drank 231.

“So you want to sue Cabrak for making you ingest too much COFFEE?”

“Yup!”

“Well, just when I thought things couldn’t get any more retarded, here we have VEGETA SUING someone about drinking too much COFFEE,” the judge said. “I need a Tylenol…”

I threw a bottle of Tylenol at him which knocked him off his seat. That wasn’t good for me.

The judge got up. “Thank you Vegeta.” I gulped and laughed nervously. “Anyway, this is one of the most ridiculous cases I’ve ever heard in all of my years as judge!”

“So? How long have you judged for?” I asked.

“Seventeen years next Tuesday,” he said.

“Wow, you have no personal life, do you?” I asked.

He was silent. “Vegeta, why don’t we get on with this?”

“Fine,” I muttered. “But seriously, do you even have a girlfriend?”

“I have a wife!”

“So do I, but I don’t let it get in the way…”

“VEGETA!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll get to the point. What’s a guy have to do to just sit on his couch for two hours watching pirated videos? Seriously, every time I get around to something productive, that little serpent comes around and bugs the shit out of me! It will never leave me be!”

He wrote something down, and mumbled something under his breath. I think I heard something like, “…retarded jackasses wasting my time…” and if he was saying that, I had a very good chance of winning my case with Cabrak. After all, there’s only one retarded jackass in the room. Him. And why’s Kakarott laughing at me? How is he in my cellar? How did he get passed the rhino? How did he find me?

“Cabrak, I want to hear your side of the story,” Carl said.

“Well, I just found my brother’s secret coffee stores. It said minimum 16 metric tonnes so I-”

“It said minimum 2 tea spoons!” Dofkah yelled from somewhere.

“This is funny,” I exclaimed.

“What’s funny, HOW CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THEM?” the judge asked.

“Maybe I’m a parselmouth,” I laughed darkly.

“No, we just understand English and you’ve understood Cabrak because he bugs you so much.”

“I hate you!”

“And that’s what keeps the universe in balance.”

“You’re my best friend!”

There was silence until someone ran in screaming “The sky is falling! Giant robots are attacking!”

I blinked. “I hate you I hate you I hate you!”

Someone else walked in. “The robots are gone, the sky’s healing,” they said.

The judge and I were both confused. WTF just happened?

“Um, anyway, Vegeta, the most I will let you have is a retraining order. But since I’m out of those, you get nothing. But you said you were watch pirated videos, right?”

“Yup!”

“Then you owe $2000 dollars.”

“WHAT? I have TO pay money WHEN I’m suing SOMEONE?” I demanded.

“You put stress on the wrong words,” the judge said to me. “But yes, that is an illegal act. Cough up the dough.”

I turned around and saw Bulma. "Don't let it get in the way?" she growled.

"Um, heh heh heh... I love you?"

I sighed. Well, at least one THING went right. No crazy guy!

That’s what I thought until a shovel hit me in the back of the head.

“OBJECTION! OBJECTIONY-JECTION!”

Conclusion:

That case went horribly. Seriously, next time someone mails me a court order, I will kill the mailman.

Morals:

Watch your back

Avoid the courthouse

KILL EVERYONE!”