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Pure Random Geometric Magic

Quote of the Day: "The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there."

It was a bright and sunny day off the coast of Africa. Harry and Ron were scuba diving with some pink elephants that used to be fish, but the night before Harry and Ron had gotten drunk and all they know is that there are no more fish and instead there are schools of pink elephants. So, in their drunken fit, they had either managed to wandlessly transfigure several mollusks and aquatic beings into pink elephants, or they had damaged their brains to the point that they were hallucinating. They guessed it was probably the former, but either way they were now enjoying their winter vacation off the coast of sunny Madagascar with a bunch of very neon aquatic elephants.

On an unrelated note, Harry now knew why the sky was blue. He had spoken with the dying headmaster, Dumbledore, two days ago and they had decided it was best if Dumbledore imparted all his wisdom to Harry before he died of the rare disease: whoingodsnamecaresiosis. One of these invaluable bits of information was Dumbledore's long-lasting lust for Harry's father…and the fact that, GASP, he was Harry's MOTHER! (WTF am I THINKING!) Dumbledore, or better yet, Lily, felt it necessary to hide her identity after she nearly died from Voldemort's attack. Why didn't she die from his deathly spell? Well, lucky for her a mosquito had flown past her chest at the exact moment that it hit and it reflected just enough power to let her survive. Thank the lord for those pesky mosquitoes. Praise the Lord, Amen. The Dark Lord, in fact…but that was another matter completely. No, actually, Dumbledore WAS Lily…well, to be specific, he loved James and so killed Lily and then impersonated her after her seventh year. His real name was, in fact, Mossy Musharius. Muahahahaha!

On an entirely different note Ron had dyed his hair green (who knows why) and was now having an affair with a transvestite named Horry Harry Hinklemann. What they didn't know about Horry until last night was that he/she (who really knows for sure) was actually married to Snape. Harry thought Mr. Hinklemann was very sexy. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm, toasty.

Going back to why the sky was blue. Well most muggles do not know that there is such a thing as pillagrit fairies. These fairies tend to have loud raucous parties that end with everyone getting drunk, on one such party they decided to paint the sky blue, who knows for sure since the color blue tends to make them vomit. They tried to paint outside the bubble that was Earth's atmosphere but that's when God was suddenly created, he put a stop to all this, banished them into the milky way and then was never seen or heard of again. The milky way looks the way it does because ireally it's all the wine stains from their insane multiracial, multispecies parties that spanned a few generations.

For whatever reason the earth blew up, the solar system collapsed and the Starinkians on planet Chopter held a birthday party for their leader…oh who really cares what's important is that the Starinkians had a good time. Then they aliens appeared and had tea and cookies.