Author: YamiPaladinofChaos PM
[Kagome x Sesshomaru] Because everyone loves a silver haired bad boy with a God complex. Everyone except Inuyasha, of course.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Kagome H. & Sesshomaru - Words: 1,215 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 11 - Published: 10-06-05 - Status: Complete - id: 2607442
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!"
Inuyasha was pissed.
No. Pissed had taken off six exits back and its brother's cousin's uncle's friend, stark raving mad was about to make a left.
"Calm down, Inuyasha." Miroku sighed, rubbing his temples. It was quite obvious the hanyou was going to be a bit more than "blind as a bat and thicker than a rock" today.
"CALM DOWN!" Inuyasha roared, stamping his feet in indignation. How could the damn pervert be so calm at a time like this! "Why the hell are you so fucking calm! Are you blind monk!" he thrust out a piece of paper toward Miroku, who merely rolled his eyes.
"Yes, I have Inuyasha." The monk replied irritably, wishing he had Kagome's power to 'sit' the hanyou. "It's not all that bad." He said placatingly.
"NOT ALL THAT BAD!" Inuyasha screamed, and Miroku resisted the urge to bash the hanyou over the head with his staff.
Being a man of the cloth was a trying thing, y'know?
Sango ducked her head in, hoping Inuyasha wouldn't notice, to make sure Miroku was surviving on his own.
Behind her, Shippo danced about her legs in his usual overly inquisitive self. "Inuyasha's not taking the news very well, is he?" the kitsune asked, pausing to pet Kirara.
"I just hope Miroku can handle Inuyasha..." And not make it worse, Sango added mentally. Who knew what sort of advice the monk would give the probably right now unstable hanyou?
Shippo, being a child, had already stopped paying attention to watch an errant butterfly flicker about.
Inuyasha fumed and seethed and generally felt every emotion that could do a duet with jealousy until the extremely tired green eyed monster gave in, and let them take over the body.
How could Kagome do this to him!
What about all the times he protected her, nearly getting killed in the process, a few of those times from the person who was Kagome's conspirator in this plot!
He told her she smelled nice and she held his head in her lap for God's sake!
It had to be some sort of conspiracy against him. It wasn't enough his first love had died hating him and was now a walking clay pot.
This had to happen.
He read the hated words again.
You are cordially invited to the wedding of Lord Sesshomaru and Lady Kagome.
"ARGH!" he growled and tore the paper to shreds, stomped on those shreds, then struck it with Tetsusaiga for good measure.
"Well, you're being awfully articulate about this." Miroku noted sardonically, though he knew he probably shouldn't antagonize Inuyasha further.
"Fuck. You." Inuyasha gritted out, sheathing Tetsusaiga. He wasn't sure if he'd regret killing the monk just yet.
He had only gone for a damn walk in the woods. It wasn't like he was purposefully seeking out Kikyo. And he didn't even have some sort of heart wrenching, tragic talk about protection and love with her!
All he did was say hello for God's sake!
Next thing he knew, Kagome was screeching about how she hated him and ran off.
So, as he always did, he searched for her, and searched for her. Hell, he gave up beating up Shippo to find her!
And what the hell did he get?
A freakin invitation.
"What the hell could she see in him!" Inuyasha shouted suddenly, slamming his fist into the wooden floor.
Mentally noting to get that fixed and get the hanyou a muzzle, Miroku said long-sufferingly, "Well-"
"He's an arrogant, cold-hearted asshole, he hates humans for God's sake, and he doesn't give a damn about anyone!" Inuyasha was literally foaming at the mouth now. "The guy looks like a girl too!"
The hanyou paused to suck in a breath in his obviously long winded and held back rant about his brother. "Kagome loves everything! Hell, she defends people who tried to kill her like Kohaku and Koga! Sesshomaru hates everyone! He's stabbed me through the gut with his damn hand! He's an anti-social jerk!" he finished, and glared at Miroku, daring the monk to say something.
"Maybe she likes that in a man." Miroku guessed haphazardly, since the description fit either of the brothers. "Or maybe she likes the his moves." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
And then shivered again.
He did not want to think about Sesshomaru... in the act.
Then growled with rage.
He especially did not want to think about Sesshomaru in the act with Kagome of all people!
Miroku clutched the bump on his head with wincing pain. He had a new respect for Shippo if the kitsune could take such blows on a regular basis.
Still, he had to argue his case, lest Inuyasha go running off to kill Sesshomaru, and probably get killed himself.
"Well, Sesshomaru does have that little girl, Inuyasha. Perhaps he is not as hard-hearted as you might believe." Miroku suggested, and inwardly prepared himself for another verbal and possibly physical lashing.
He was not to be disappointed.
"Are you stupid! Sesshomaru probably thinks of her more of as an amusing pet, or even if he did care, it's a little girl!" The hanyou huffed and crossed his arms sulkily. "And Kagome isn't exactly the bundle of sweetness you get from a little girl..."
Before he could stop himself (not that he ever tried), Miroku's said slyly, "No... Kagome is a much better sort of sweetness."
Inuyasha's eye twitched.
Miroku cowered for a moment.
After a rather brutal moment of cursing and violence, Inuyasha began stalking around the hut again, pacing with unbridled fury. "That bastard better not even think of laying a hand on Kagome..." he muttered, hands itching to use Tetsusaiga to slit his brother's throat.
He doubted Tenseiga could save that son of a bitch from that.
"He always gets everything," Inuyasha complained bitterly, and Miroku felt a bit of childhood angst on the horizon, "The armor, the poison claws, the servants, the land... and now my Kagome!" he stomped his feet much like a petulant child.
For fear of earning himself a trio of beatings, Miroku stayed silent.
"I'm the one with the tragic past! I'm the one who she saw first, and I'm the one whose taken care of her!" Inuyasha ranted, and the monk swore he saw a hint of red in those eyes. "Sesshomaru'd probably ditch her somewhere whenever he went to fight!
"She always defends me from Sesshomaru! She said she like me as a hanyou! She said she wanted to be with me, damn it!" Inuyasha screamed, and spittle was now flying everywhere, to meet new places like the floor, the walls, and Miroku's face.
"Kagome's always forgiven me for everything! Even when I try to ditch her she comes back!" Inuyasha paused, regaining the air he had just released with incredible speed and volume.
"So why the fuck did she shack up with Sesshomaru!" he demanded, glaring at Miroku, pinning the monk down with absolutely insane eyes.
"Maybe she likes the fur." Miroku said, shrugging.