Sunshine was streaming down on Naboo as Padmé looked out of the window on to the beautiful gardens of the Lake Retreat. The grasses shone and the lake shimmered in front of her.

She wanted to be out there so much. To experience the beauty of the gardens properly again. She had been out once or twice but never for too long. She hadn’t wanted to draw attention to herself or the twins. Of course she still didn’t.

But now the twins were in their cots taking a nap and Anakin...was nowhere to be seen. After they had put the twins to bed for their regular, afternoon naps (Anakin insisted upon helping with the twins whenever possible) he had just disappeared somewhere.

Padmé turned her thoughts away from him. She didn’t want to think about that now. Before she continued to think about it, Padmé turned quickly from her bedroom window to her wardrobe. Once she had found what she was looking for, she got changed into it, quickly.

The item in question was a green dress made of the softest silk imaginable. The skirts flowed slightly out past her legs but Padmé knew this was a dress more practical than most in her wardrobe. But it was the colour she had chosen it for not the style. She wanted to blend in as much as possible to the nature surrounding her when she stepped outside.

She pulled her hair quickly into a loose bun, with parts falling softly, framing her face.

She smiled to herself in anticipation at what she was about to do. I haven‘t been out in the gardens for such a long time, she thought wistfully to herself.

To anyone else, going out to the gardens wasn’t such a big deal. But to anyone else, the danger wasn’t so great. In fact, there probably wasn’t a danger for them at all. But for Padmé, she had to always be on her guard. Not just for herself, but for her babies too.

But, on the other hand, a few minutes outside wouldn’t be too bad would it? Padmé just wanted to feel the sunshine on her skin again. To feel the grass beneath her toes and the wind in her hair.

When she had first arrived on Naboo and the Clones had been there just to try and find her she wouldn’t have dared to go out at all. But now that the security had been slackened somewhat (and Padmé believed this to be because they had had no success in their objective) she almost felt that there was no reason to be quite so restrictive to herself. And it would only be for a few minutes, she promised herself.

She walked quickly through the house, eager to go now before the twins decided to wake.

When she reached the door however, she paused. She turned to look behind her quickly, as if she was a child stealing from a forbidden sweet jar, looking around afraid to be caught. In truth, she felt a bit like that as well.

Before she lost her nerve, she opened the door quickly and stepped out, shutting it gently behind her again. She breathed in deeply, the scents of honeysuckle and other flowers filling her nostrils with a sweet smell.

She smiled, her mouth upturned and she began to laugh happily. She held her arms out for a minute and just basked in the happy knowledge that she was finally outside again in the gardens that had always been just outside her window but even that was a little too far for her.

She opened her eyes and looked around again. Upon seeing nobody around, she quickly began to run (as silently as she could) to her favourite spot in the whole of the Lake Retreat. It was a place where she and Anakin had spent so much of their time together, laughing and being happy just to be near the other. On the banks beside the beautiful lake.

It was a beautiful secluded area which they had happened to come across as they had been down by the lake. There was a soft mossy covering surrounded by beautiful plants and flowers, hidden from view by those who didn’t know to look for it. Ever since the day she and Anakin had discovered it, Padmé had loved it and regarded it as their “special” location. She hadn’t been back to it... in a long time.

As she began to see the path leading down to the lake (and her special location) she began to run even faster.

Very soon, she was only a few steps away. Then finally she was there. Back to a place which held so many memories for her.

But when she got there, a frown spread over her face and her brows crinkled in confusion.

“Anakin?” she uttered incredulously, out of breath from running so fast.

For there, if you hadn’t already guessed it, sat Anakin staring back at Padmé in just as much confusion as she did at him.

“Padmé…..uh….?” Anakin stuttered, uncomfortably.

“What are you doing here?” Padmé looked around her, embarrassed as she suddenly realised how completely shocking it must have been to see her running into their place.

“I just... I guess I wanted to see if this place was still here.”

“Why wouldn’t it still be here, Anakin?” Padmé spoke, sounding more defensive than she had intended. Breathe Padmé. Calm down and think about what you are saying. You were caught off guard but compose yourself please.

Padmé tried to breathe deeply again, trying to gain control of her rapid breathing and also to give her a few moment to compose herself.

“There’s no reason why it wouldn’t but I suppose I just wanted to make sure. For my own peace of mind.”

Without needing to say anymore, Padmé understood perfectly what he was saying. And felt perfectly uncomfortable when she did.

“Yes, well…. I would never have allowed anything to happen to this little spot.”

Anakin looked at Padmé with keen interest.

“Why wouldn’t you?”

She felt his stare pierce into her but she refused to look at him. She refused to allow him that power over her.

“I love it here. I always have. And I always will.”

“We’ve had a lot of special memories here, Padmé. I remember them all.”

“I don’t want to talk about this now----”

“Padmé, you can’t hide from me forever. You can’t avoid talking to me.”

His words angered Padmé but she tried to keep her voice level. What did he know of what she felt? All the time she had to endure his gazes and wistful sighs with the appearance of indifference and the turning of her head when inside her heart was breaking a little more each time. And yet, avoiding him was the only thing she had left to do. Otherwise, she would be opening up her heart towards him again and she couldn’t allow that to happen.

“Padmé?”

“Please, Anakin, I don’t want to have this conversation now.”

Her voice sounded weary, even to her own ears and Anakin was sorry to cause her such pain but he couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t even look at him, let alone talk to him.

“I have tried so hard to explain to you what happened and tried to show you how much I love you and how sorry I am. But you won’t even open your mind enough----”

“I can’t allow myself to do that, Anakin!”

Padmé’s outburst rang through their ears. And Padmé found she couldn’t stop herself.

“Is that what you wanted to hear, Anakin? Is that what you have been waiting for me to say?”

“Padmé, I am so sorry for all that I have done but I----”

“Anakin,” Padmé lowered her voice again, shocked she had allowed so much of her inner turmoil to be seen. “You have apologised to me and pleaded with me before and my answer is no. Nothing can happen between us now. Too much has happened, too much time has passed between us. We can’t go back to the way things were before just because you want them to. Things don‘t happen like that.”

Anakin looked up at Padmé. It hurt to hear, no matter how many times she said it.

“But Padmé, you still love me. And I am deeply in love with you. For our sake, for our children’s sakes, you can’t just close your heart up to the idea of us again.”

“Why?” Padmé demanded. “Why shouldn’t I, Anakin? What could possibly be the point of my opening my heart to you again if it is just going to be beaten and bruised again?”

Silence answered her words. Anakin sat stunned as Padmé stared out over the beautiful lake. Quietly, Anakin got up and stood beside Padmé. She didn’t flick an eyelid in his direction. She was too busy trying to stop herself from trembling at both of their outbursts.

“Padmé,” Anakin spoke softly. “I love you. And I promise that I will try my very best to allow nothing to ever hurt you the way I did. Ever again.”

His hands slipped gently onto her shoulders and he moved her so that she was facing him. Easy does it, Anakin, he thought to himself. You are lucky to be this close. Don’t mess this up. He looked into her eyes.

“You’re trembling.”

Padmé shut her eyes at his simple statement, as if embarrassed by what was a small fact.

Quickly but gently, Anakin leaned forward and pressed his lips against Padmé’s. Her eyes flew open in surprise. At first, Anakin thought he began to feel her respond to his kiss before their kiss was quickly broken off by a swift push from Padmé.

“What do you think you are doing?”

It took Anakin a few seconds to try and regain his footing.

“I just thought---”

“What did you think?” Padmé continued without letting Anakin answer. “How could you do that?”

“I just----”

“I can’t--- this can’t happen again between us. Not again.”

“But why-----------?”

Padmé shook her head.

“I have to----leave now.”

“Padmé---” Anakin reached out an arm helplessly. “If you could just try----”

Padmé turned around briefly.

“Try? What good can come of this, Anakin?”

“Our love.”

Padmé looked away briefly, before her searching stare returned.

“Love? The only love I should be focusing on right now is the love that I feel for my children. We should both be thinking about their needs right now. This is just far too complicated and I shall not allow my children to suffer if we “tried”, as you so nicely put it, to be together again and it didn’t work between us.”

“But----”

“No more. I have to go back to the Retreat now. I shouldn’t even be here. I was only meant to be a few minutes.”

Anakin bit his lip and said no more. There was no point. Padmé could be very stubborn when she wanted to be and he knew he would get no further with her now.

Padmé, just as she had done the first night they had seen each other again, turned and simply walked in the other direction back up the Retreat. The wind caught her dress and made it flow angrily out behind her. Her steps were sure and steady and her head never moved from its state-like position. She was every inch a princess.

Anakin stood for a few moments before flopping back down onto the bank. So much for trying to make a connection with Padmé again and making her understand his actions a little more.

He knew more than anyone that it would take a lot more than just a few words and a kiss to make it up to Padmé. No matter how much he wished for it to be otherwise.