Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion

I made up the flat's address because I didn't know what it was, and for the sake of the story.

DING-DONG

"Shinji. Could you get that?" calls Misato, scratching her backside, lying face down on the couch.

"I'm cooking! You can get it!" calls Shinji, poking his head out of the kitchen. "You're closer anyway."

"Fine! Wate me away to nothing!" she moans.

"You're not THAT old."

"Are you saying I'm old?"

DING-DONG

"No!"

"I think you were!"

"No! Why would I say that? I'm not mad you know!"

DING-DONG

"I've had a long day!" and she gets up.

DING-DONG

"Okay! Okay!" says Misato, quickly pulling over a jacket to accompany her bra. She opens the door. "Yes?"

She looks around for a while before realising the visitor is down a notch. About three feet tall. It was a little girl with hair like Misato's, but in pig tails. In one hand was a little penguin doll (Much to the coincidence). The resemblance holds Misato a bit amazed for a while.

Catching her mind back she responds "Err… hi!" she says. "How can I help you sweety?"

"Are you my mom?" the girl replies.

"ACK-COUGH-GRAGH-WHAT-THE-COUGH-ACK-GRAGH." says Misato.

"Well, are you?"

As much as Misato didn't like to shatter this motherless child's dreams, she had to say the truth. "Well, I don't really…"

"Are you okay? You sounded like you were dying!" says Shinji, arriving at the door with apron and frying pan. "Who's this little girl?"

"She thinks I might be her mom." whispers Misato, waving a finger around out of sight of the child.

"My name is Satomi." says the girl. The name sounds strange to Misato somehow. She turns to Shinji. "Are you my brother then?"

"I highly doubt that…" says Shinji, who can't imagine her being alive without Gendo using her as a pilot.

"Oh. Are you my dad?"

"ACK-COUGH-GRAGH-WHAT-THE-COUGH-ACK-GRAGH." says Shinji. Misato is laughing, supporting herself on the door frame.

"You are one sick boy Shinji!" Misato says, nudging him. "How old were you? Eight? You are just sick-sick-sick…"

"I'm NOT her father!" says Shinji, resisting the urge to throw the fried food at her. "Did anyone send you here Satomi?"

Satomi nods "Yes, this funny man."

"What funny man?"

"This funny man." says a voice, making Misato and Shinji jump in surprise.

Out of nowhere came a strictly dressed man with a bowler hat and round spectacles. He showed not one hair on his face or head. He spoke in a very business like manner.

"Misato?" he asks.

"Err… Yes?" answers Misato.

"Katsurgi?"

"Yes. That's me."

"Good." he says politely. He presents some very official ID. "I'm here to inform you, by law and welfare, that this persons, Satomi, is your long lost child."

Shinji catches her before Misato falls over.

…

Shinji offers the man and Satomi a place to sit, preparing them a little meal. Satomi sits really close to Misato, who is feeling very unnerved. The man sips his tea with very little emotion. Shinji serves the rice.

"I see you are a distinguished gourmand Shinji." says the man. "Misato is very fortunate."

"…" Shinji says nothing but sits down on the other side of Misato to eat.

As Misato lifts the bowl to her face, Satomi, watching eagerly, does likewise. Every movement of the chopsticks and head was copied precisely, even the sounds that were less than polite. Satomi laughs with rice all over her face. Misato is feeling even more uncomfortable.

"Have you been living here long?" asks the man to Shinji.

"A few months, yes." he nods.

"And how long have you been married?"

Shinji has to put the food down before he chokes. "To who?"

"Misato of course…"

"ACK-COUGH-GRAGH-WHAT-THE-COUGH-ACK-GRAGH." says Misato and Shinji before he can even complete that sentence.

"Engaged then?" he asks, not the least bit affected.

"I'm his guardian SIR." says Misato, very put out. "Do you think I'm some kind of paedophile or something?"

"I only assumed. I'm sorry." says the man (Though he doesn't sound like it at all). "This is unfortunate. We were hoping to find her father with you…"

Misato is quite fed up with the whole affair and Shinji is still recovering. "Listen mister." she says, stooping over. "I don't know where you get your information, but I am definitely not this child's mother. Don't you think I would have remembered something like this?"

"How do I know you are not in denial?" he asks. Misato would have strangled him, but Satomi was watching and there was someone at the door.

"Helooo!" calls Asuka, returning home after some shopping. She strides in and notices the guests. "Oh. Hi! My name is Asuka. Who are you?"

"Are you my sister?" asks Satomi innocently. Shinji and Misato groan.

"I'm afraid not…." says Asuka who is a bit confused.

"Why don't you go play with Asuka Satomi?" says Misato, eager to try and lose the imprinting duckling. "You can show her your penguin doll."

"Yay!" says Satomi, jumping up and to Asuka. She was really bored. "Thanks mom."

Misato pulls her hair and Asuka is puzzled. "Mom?" the red head says. Then it strikes her and she laughs rolling on the ground to Misato's frustration. Shinji rolls his eyes and decides to move Satomi to meet Penn-penn while Asuka recovered.

"Ahem…" coughs the man. "Now, about the father…"

"HEY!" shouts Misako, not really caring if Satomi could hear or not. "I AM NOT HER MOTHER! I never had a kid, not in my long life!"

The man sips his tea again. "The data we have is quite conclusive, DNA, the timing. It all fits to you miss Misato. There is hardly any point denying it now…"

"This is insane!" says Misato, feeling her world crashing in. "How could…" but he hands her some papers with DNA matches. She almost faints.

"Oh! Does that mean she can stay here?" says Asuka, who liked the idea of a sort of little sister around.

"I can see she has taken care of you two children well enough…" nods the man. "I see no reason that she could not do the same for her." Obviously he had no idea what they did for a living.

"I… I still don't think she's my kid!" stammers Misato, but she is sweating. "How could this happen…?"

"Are you a virgin?" asks the man.

Before Misato can say 'It's none of your business', Asuka is in hysterics.

"V-VIRGIN? HER?" she shouts with her grin stretching and finger pointed at the unfortunate 'mother'. "Hahahahahaaahaaaa…a virgin? Misato a virgin? HA! Hee-hee, ho-ha. Oh that's classic! Oh… Hahahaaa-haaahaahaahaha… Vir-HAHAHAAAaaaa, hee-hee. VIRGIN! O my God that is- HA! Hahahaaa-wheeeeee…" and she dribbles away to a faint giggle.

Misato eyes her with some hate. She looks back to the man. "Look, I…"

"VIRGIN! HAHahahaa- o dear- this hurts- Ha!" laughs Asuka again unable to keep it in. "VIIIRGIN! HAHAHAHAHAAA! I can't believe you could possibly- hee-hee- believe that- mrph- Misato is a – mrph- a- haha- AVIRGIN! HAHAHAHA-haha-wheeeee." and she collapses exhausted on the floor, still laughing silently, her ides splitting.

Misato covered her face with her hands for a while. "Okay! I'm not a virgin…" she exhales.

"Then it IS possible." says the man. Misato nods. "I have the papers on me now."

"I… I think I need to make a few calls first…" says Misato, trembling. Asuka's whisper of 'virgin' behind the couch doesn't help. "I still can't believe I could forget anything like that… I mean… I- I still don't remember…"

"It will come back…" says the man, plonking the papers down. "But really, this girl needs a home."

Misato looks at the papers and sighs… Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad? She wondered what NERV would think? He hands her a pen…

"WAIT! WAIT! STOP!" shouts Shinji, rushing in with Simato in one hand who was also in hand with Penn-penn who also held her doll. Shinji wheezes.

"What is it Shinji?" asks Misato, though she's glad of the delay.

"Simato just told me something interesting." he says smiling. "What number is this flat?" he asks the man.

"Number 4A." he replies, and Misato nods.

"4A what?" asks Shinji again, and Misato's eyes brighten.

The man looks at the paper, and for the first time shows some character. His face goes all red.

"Is this number 4Ai?" he asks quietly.

"4Aii!" smiles Misato, giving Shinji a great big hug off his feet.

"Umm- err. A…are you not miss Misato? Katsurgi Misato?"

"Misato Katsurgi actually." says Misato proudly, and the man is in complete humiliation.

"I… I'm most frightfully sorry!" stammers the man, collecting his hat and papers. Shinji, Misato and Simato all laugh at his expense. "This is the biggest mistake I have ever…"

"Oh don't worry." says Shinji. "At least we met a new neighbour. And she has met Penn-Penn." and Simato gives the embarrassed penguin a good-bye hug.

"It was good for a laugh too." says Misato grinning. Asuka agrees, still laughing, leaning on the sofa.

"It was great meeting you all." bows Simato, and they return it. "I hope to see you all again."

"Anytime." says Misato, patting the sorry man on the back. "Cheer up, you can't go wrong from here."

"Indeed, and good day." he tips his hat, resuming his normal manner. "Thankyou for lunch."

Even as they leave, Asuka screams. "VIIIIRGIN! HAHAHaaaaa-haha-wheee. Hee-hee. A v- v- VIRGIN!… Ha- hahahaaaa. Oh, that was a good one… Oh, I'm definitely dead now!… Hee-hee!"

NOW…