Disclaimer: I shall no longer put these at the beginning of every chapter, as you little morons seem to have gotten the point!

Chapter 3: Don't Spank Ma Bitch Up So You Can Drive Misty For Me

About two days after Claude was introduced to Luigi, he found that buying all that beer and Burger Shot burgers had drained him of his cash. He never was the most economical of people.

Mugging prostitutes and random old ladies didn't help pay the nonexistant bills, so Claude was forced to return to Luigi for work. He walked to the club, which was just a few blocks away. A black man with a hoodie attempted a pathetic holdup right outside the club, armed with an unloaded Glock 17. His attempt at scaring the next passerby with a handgun failed, and he was beaten until he had three broken limbs before being unceremoniously dumped in the back of a passing pickup.

When Claude made it to the door around the back of the club, he was met not by Luigi, but by a very tall, very bald man in a blue suit holding a note. "Luigi said to give you this, so...just take it!" He sounded a little nervous. He must have been new. Claude went over the letter.

There's a new high on the street, goes by the name of SPANK. Some wise guy has been pushing this stuff on my girls down by the harbor. I want you to take a bat and introduce it to his face. Then take his car. Respray it. I WANT COMPENSATION FOR THIS INSULT!

P.S. Take the car to my lockup across from the hospital, in case Mick hasn't told you.

Claude dropped the letter. He went out the alley and looked around for some kind of weapon. He walked across the road, defiant of the heavy traffic, and kicked a drunk off a pile of refuse. He sifted through it until he found what he was looking for: A bloodstained baseball bat. He slung the impromptu club over his shoulder and walked over to a Manana sedan. He knocked on the window and pointed to his bat. The driver sighed and exited the car. He was obviously well-rehearsed in carjackings.

Claude drove the clunky little vehicle down to the harbor in Trenton. He saw a black guy in a blue jacket talking with two prostitutes by a warehouse, a teal Stallion parked nearby.

Claude flew through the gates and sped toward the trio. He didn't stop until the drugged-up hookers were broken under his wheels, and lept from the car, marching toward the pusher.

The dealer took a bat of his own from his coat. Claude swung down toward the dealer's head, who parried it. Unfortunately, Claude lifted weights a lot after getting out of the prison hospital, and the sheer force of his blow caused the dealer's bat to explode in a shower of splinters, leaving him holding a useless stump. Claude swung low, breaking both the dealer's legs. He tried to crawl backwards, begging.

"Don't do this man. I got money, loads of cash! I can give you drugs, whores, whatever you-" He was cut off by a bat slamming down on his head, smashing it into an unrecognizable mass of bloody pulp.

Claude tossed the bloody tool into the back of the Stallion and hopped in. He loved these muscle cars. They had such nice, roaring engines. He drove the car out of the harbor, making sure to speed over the dead body.

He took the car to the Pay-N-Spray just down the street from Luigi's club. He took it in and let the door close behind him as half a dozen men in masks and white jumpsuits dashed around the car, changing it's color from teal to white, removing the dents and scratches from the car, and adding on a forged license plate. One of the men went up to Claude. "Luigi called in a favor, so this one is free. Next time, it'll cost you a grand." The door opened and Claude backed out, taking the car to the lockup.

He saw the alley across from the hospital, with a garage door in plain sight. The door opened automatically for him, letting him take the vehicle in. The door closed once he was back out on the street. The door to the lockup opened and an arm tossed a wad of bills out onto the ground. Claude checked the cash. $4000. Not bad.

He was quite pleased when he went back out on the road. Stopped at a red light was the green Kuruma that he had jacked two days ago. Claude wrenched open the unlocked door, pulled the man from the seat, and smashed his face a few times before slamming him down on the street headfirst. Claude took his car back to Luigi's place to inform him that the job was done. Luigi was talking with Mick. "Hey!" he called at Claude. "I gotta talk to you. All right Mick, I'll talk to you later." Mick returned to the club.

"How ya doing kid?" Luigi asked. Remembering that he was working with a mute, he let it slide. "The Don's son, Joey Leone, wants some action from his regular, Misty. Go pick her up in Hepburn Heights, but watch yourself, that's Diablo territory. Then run her over to his garage in Trenton and make it quick. This is your foot in the door, so keep your eyes on the road, and off Misty!" Luigi returned to the club.

This was big. Claude was about to get in with the Mafia. He had dealt with them before. Their deals never ended in a good way.

Claude drove down to the dirty apartments that made up Hepburn Heights. There was a small mass of Hispanic men in blue and red marching around with bats. A small few had handguns. Several souped-up Stallions drove slowly through the neighborhood, their black bodies painted with flames.

Claude stopped outside the block and honked his horn. After a bit Misty jogged out to the car, stumbling in her heels and still wearing nothing but a bra and panties. She set herself into the passenger seat. "So you're working regular for Luigi now huh? It's about time we got a driver we can trust!"

Claude took her to Joey's Garage down in Trenton, getting nervous at how Misty kept staring at his crotch. He sighed with relief when they made it to the garage and she ran for the door. Claude followed her in. "Joey!" she squealed, hugging a small, stocky man with slicked black hair. "Am I gonna get to play with your big end again?" she asked him. "In a minute, spark pulg." He let her down and walked over to Claude, handing him a stack of cash. "Hey, I'm Joey. Luigi said you were reliable, so come back later and there might be some work for you, all right?" Claude nodded and left.

Claude decided to play it safe with his car after snapping the neck of the poor bastard who tried to drive off with his car again. He took it back to his hideout and put it in his small garage, locking it tight. All in a day's work for a thug.