|World of Warcraft things that tend to go wrong
Author: DuoJagan PM
A series of short stories about WoW and...well...things that tend to go wrong in it. I Bet u couldnt tell just by looking at the title. Disclaimer: I dont own warcraft wish I did but i dont.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,939 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 01-03-06 - Published: 10-10-05 - id: 2613305
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
How I wish I had an area effecting spell
Duo Jagan: Hi this is a little story about my little adventure in Zul'farik (I don't think I spelt that right) this may be a one shot or a may add on more funny stories I don't know yet never the less, enjoy the slightly modified story of how I really wish that I had bought my only area effect spell, and be sure to laugh at my horrible spelling. And since Sekah isn't in this story, I felt she needed to deliver a message
Sekah: My evil mutated puppy dog hit men will kill you and use your organs to…………….(censored)……………… So don't even think of taking MY marshmallows.
Duo: riiiiiggghhtt, anyways this is a one shot fic and I hope you like it. Cause if you don't, say hello to the evil mutated puppy dog hit men.
Troll- "Its time for the execution!" The troll charged at the party swinging his sword. Sadly enough having blue skin and a big sword doesn't make you tough. Being an elite however does make you tough, which is why the party was having a bit of trouble.
Shiginmi- "you know it would be a lot easier to kill this guy if you two quit dancing and came over to help!"
(A/N Shiginmi is me. I don't use anyone else's screen names because I have a bad memory, but if anyone asks the people here chose to remain anonymous.)
Merdin- "But gnomes have the coolest dance just look." The gnome then started dancing while the troll was attacking the hunter with his abnormally large sword.
Berly- "yah besides, you clearly have it under control. I mean the way you are gracefully getting beaten into a wisp, tells me that you have it completely under control."
Shiginmi- "You know, sarcasm just doesn't work in a video game."
Truth mace- "You know Shiginmi, it is a real pain to heal you and the battle would go a lot faster if you told your wolf to attack this guy."
Shiginmi- "What! But specter's too cute and fluffyyyyyyyyyy! That sword could cut off some of his fur.
Kazen- "wow, wow, wait a minute, you've been healing him? I'm the priest that's what I've been doing, your the paladin here! You should be beating the $#!7 out of him.
Truth mace- "first of all Paladins are very holy beings, and we dong beat the $#!7 out of people.
Kazen- "Then how come you use a giant hammer to bash troll heads in?"
Truth mace- "I'll have you know hammers are very holy symbols."
Merdin- "um guys…. The executioner has been dead for about a minute now." Everyone slowly looked at the troll's corpse. Shiginmi was busy looting it.
Truth mace- "hey I'm the tank here I get to loot it! Truth mace then picked up his mace and basically knocked Shiginmi off the giant tower they were one.
Kazen- "Holy symbols my $$."
Fortunately for Kazen, Truth mace was busy looting the executioner's corpse.
Truth mace- AHAH I got the key!
It is at this point that I would like to help any person who hasn't played warcraft before by explaining some things to them. First of all if you haven't played warcraft before, your life means nothing. Second of all trolls aren't like the trolls in lord of the rings. These trolls are shaped more like humans, except they are a bit more lanky. They have tusks and blue skin as well. Gnomes are really short, mages use magic, priests can heal people or hurt people with spells. Paladins are messengers of the light, humans are corrupt stupid and kill each other. But in the game they're ok. Rouges can turn invisible and deal a lot of damage using knives. Hunters use bows and have pets. Elites are tougher than normal units and a key is something you use to unlock or lock doors or in this case cages. If you have played warcraft and you have read this, congratulations, you need a life.
Truth mace- "Ok guys, I've done this before. Once we unlock these guys prepare for a hell of a fight." Truth mace at this point began unlocking the cages
Shiginmi- The quest says we have to kill this guy for a fishing rod. What the hell? I've murdered people for silver, items, and film for cameras but never a fishing pole!" Shiginmi then decided to focus and laid a trap below one of the cages.
The cages opened and the people inside got out. One goblin, one orc, two humans, and the author stupidly forgot the other person.
Shiginmi- Um, I thought we were suppose to kill these guys I cant even target them." Shiginmi noticed the talk option. He right clicked on the sergeant who said "no time to talk the trolls are here."
Shiginmi- "what the hell is he talking about?"
Truth mace- Dude, these guys help us in the beginning, the guys we have to fight, are down there."
All five players looked down the grand stair case.
Shiginmi- "Ho-ly Shit"
At least a hundred trolls were gathered around the bottom.
Truth mace- All right stay on the top so Kazen and I can heal you. If there are any quotes you wish to massacre please do so now.
Shiginmi- "This party's over!"
Berly- "Today is a good day to die!"
Kazen- "I before e except after c"
Merdin- "LEEEEERRRRROOOOYY JEEENNNNKKKIINNNSSSSS"
Everyone, including the computer players looked at Merdin and yelled "HELL NO"
A/N if you don't know who or what Leroy Jenkins is, then I won't even bother explaining.
The first troll started to run up. About 10 arrows hit him before he was up the first step. The second troll then started to run and a single firebolt sent him flying. Then the trolls decided going up one at a time didn't work. About 30 trolls charged up the stair case. Fortunately the people who were in the cages only moments ago were now blasting their fair share of trolls.
Truth mace- "back up people take the fight to the platform.
Shiginmi ran back leaving his wolf to take care of the creep who was attacking him and then fired several shots into another troll. Kazen started healing Merdin who seemed to be agroing more creeps. Berly kept on stabbing trolls in the back, and Truth mace was beating trolls with a mace. Shiginmi kept his distance while firing arrows into the ranks of trolls. Several trolls broke past the defenses and attacked him. Shiginmi shot a burst of arrows that confused one, stabbed another and had his pet attack the third. The other 5 however were UN accounted for. Shiginmi ran around in circles until Merdin killed them off.
Shiginmi- I really wish hunters had an area effect move
Berly- What about volley?
Shiginmi- I didn't buy it I was saving up for a mount.
Berly- Well a mount wont exactly help now will it.
Shiginmi- That's not true I can run away from these guys.
The fight continued until Merdin decided to run down the first couple of stairs.
Kazen- Merdin noooooooooo I cant heal you when your over there!
Merdin managed to get one arcane explosion off before…an arrow hit him in the chest. At the bottom of the stair case an elite lifted a second arrow to his bow. Boromir's dramatic death music started to play. Merdin arcane blasted another troll to his death. The second arrow hit him in the chest, or head its hard to tell with gnomes cause they're so short. Merdin lifted his staff and casted fire bolt. Another troll burned to its death. The third arrow slammed into his chest, or head. Merdin got up to do another attack but, he was out of mana. Merdin could only watch as the fourth arrow flew at him.
Shiginmi- "four arrows, and he's dead? Even the trolls can take more than that! I can take 500 arrows before dieing. Sometimes I forget how pathetic mage armor can be."
Truth mace- "Yah but the dramatic music was cool"
Berly- "Do you guys realize were down one person?"
Shiginmi- "its ok as long as specters alive….." at that exact moment Shiginmi's wolf got attacked by a dozen trolls at once.
Shiginmi- "SPECTER NOOOOOOOOOOO"
Kazen- "oh figures you shrug of Merdin's death but you will kill a million trolls to avenge your wolf
Shiginmi- "more like A MILLION AND ONE!" Shiginmi then realized he had a bit over a hundred arrows left. A/N to give you an idea, I think that if you have less than 1000 arrows you need to restock.
The 9 remaining people (9 because of the 5 cpu's) then cut through the waves of trolls and advanced down the stairs.
Truth mace- "There are still about 30 down there. Be careful, or charge to your death but only pick one."
Shiginmi- "FOR SPECTERRRRR"
Now while the part could kill 70 normal trolls and only lose 1 player and a wolf, 40 players and 3 elites made all of the difference.
The fray began and Shiginmi ended up targeting the elite that killed Merdin.
Shiginmi- "So you killed Merdin with a bow aye? Well your still no match for a marksmen ship talent line hunter!"
Shiginmi launched a hundred arrows into the troll in the time it took for the troll to shoot ten. The elite fell to the ground and stayed there. In the mean time Kazen came to the point that he was FINALLY out of mana. Its kind of strange that he has been healing everyone yet he only runs out of mana just now. The other two elites rushed Kazen and beat him to the ground. Truth mace rushed over to help, but he tripped over a rock and the 20 trolls that were attacking him managed to stab him to death. A bunch of creeps attacked Shiginmi, but he bravely and nobly used fake death so they attacked Berly instead. Berly, begin a rouge cant take on too many people at once without the first attack so he tried to run to the Cpu's for help. Shiginmi got up and shot some arrows to cover him but it was too little too late. A tank fell from the sky and squashed Berly.
Shiginmi- "I really wish I had bought my area effect spell."
Shiginmi kept shooting into their ranks as the creeps rushed him. The Cpu's made a stand to fight but in the end, it came down to two elites, a dozen trolls, one Shiginmi, and 2 Cpu's. Shiginmi eventually ran out of arrows.
Shiginmi- I guess its over LLLEEEEERRRRRRROOOYYYYY JJJJJEEENNNNNKKKKIIINNSSSS
Shiginmi charged in, and an elite threw a base ball at his head. Shiginmi fell to the ground, with completely toasted armor, no pet, and no arrows. Then half of the party quit and the instance was called off.
This is based on a true event. It was changed a little and I replaced the party members names and made their lines, mostly lines form other experiences I had. For any of you that have failed that part of Zul' Farik, you know what it is like. This was a one shot fic I hope you enjoyed and by the way PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review.