FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination|
Author of 14 Stories |
I hope everyone likes it… this is my first time to write one of these and I did it in quite a hurry so I hope you get the way the story goes:
WARNING: This fanfic mainly focuses on Hermione’s emotions and how she handled the situation at the end. I warn you, my fellow H/Hr shipper that this story of mine will not end in a fluffy way that we all wish it would but instead end in the way J.K. has chosen to make it. I hope no one hates/kills me because of this.
Title: Where is Your Heart?
Rating: PG (Because I said so.)
Pairing: H/Hr and H/G (Gag me).
Author: Nikka
Number of words: 2,479
Summary: "Will you stay with me?" she asked in a softer voice, her cheeks wet with tears. "I… it’s not that easy, ‘Mione." he replied…
Disclaimer: All characters are of J.K. Rowling’s property. The song lyrics are in Kelly Clarkson’s album ‘Breakaway’. The plot and the sweat were all my doing… so no stealing!
"I know, Hermione. But I need to do something," he asked, not looking at her. She bit her lip.
"Alright, but you better be careful," she reminded him before reaching for his wand on the table. "You never know what might happen," she added, handing him the wand.
Harry smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "I’ll only be gone for a moment. I’ll be back before you know it."
Hermione nodded and smiled back. "Okay. Now, get moving."
"Thanks, ‘Mione," he told her and headed out of the common room.
He stopped midway and turned to her.
"Hermione, no matter what happens… don’t you ever leave me, okay?" he said, looking deep into her eyes.
Hermione raised a curious eyebrow. "I will never leave you, Harry. You know that…" she told him, smiling.
Harry smiled back and looked down at his feet, as if thinking about something serious.
"Harry…?"
"Hmm," he mumbled.
"I love you," she called out to him. Harry looked back at her and smiled slightly. He's forcing it, she noticed.
"I… I know. I’ll see you later," he replied, and quickly stepped out of the hole. He didn’t say ‘I love you’ back.
"I can’t believe he’s not here…" she whispered, biting her lip. Ron shook his head and reached to squeeze Hermione’s hand. "You know how Harry is. Always late," he reassured her, smiling slightly.
She smiled back, half-heartedly and brought her attention back to the doors.
"He’s not showing, so just give it up, Hermione," Lavender said suddenly, snapping Hermione back to reality.
"How do you know?" she snapped, glaring at her.
"Because he’s probably out looking for Ginny, or worse, he’s probably seeing her already," she snapped back, taking the seat next to Ron.
"Lavender… stop it," Ron warned, glaring at the girl next to him.
"Oh, fess up, Ronald. You know, that it’s possibly true." Lavender rolled her eyes at him and flipped her hair.
Hermione scowled. "Why don’t you mind your own business, Lavender. No need to fuss over mine."
"You don’t get it do you, Hermione?" she asked, smirking at her.
Hermione’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Get what exactly?"
"That your so-called boyfriend is still in love with your very dear friend, Ginny…" she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the whole world.
"What?"
"Oh, God, Hermione… you’re the smartest witch in our year but you know nothing about men!" Lavender exclaimed, throwing her armÀ up in exasperation.
"I’m not interested to talk about boys, unlike you and Parvati," Hermione replied.
"You say that but you’re in love with one."
Hermione glared at her but said nothing. Fighting with Lavender Brown would be useless.
Ron glanced at Hermione. She was absolutely beautiful as always… but she was in love wiÀh Harry. An old feeling fell into the pit of his stomach—a feeling he knew all too well… jealousy. But there was no use for jealousy… he would have to accept that Hermione would never be with him.
Lavenderr sighedd and shook her head slowly before looking back at Hermione.
"I don’t know if you noticed, but sometimes guys do some things to help them forget about their painful pasts; usually when they break up with someone they love most. They would either result to drinking, smoking or even dating other women…" she started, trying to figure out her words.
"Lavender, it’s the same for everyone. Male or female, there’s no difference!" Hermione argued, folding her arms across her chest.
"Would you be quiet and let me finish?" she snapped, banging her hand on the table causing both Hermione and Ron to jump in surprise.
"Hermióne, I think you’re just Ginny’s replacement in Harry’s heart."
Hermione’s eyes widened and her face grew red in anger and embarrassment. "I am most certainly not. How dare you say that!" she exclaimed, standing up abruptly.
"Hermione… calm down!" Ron soothed, standing as well.
"I’m only telling you this because it looks as though Harry’s just using you to forget little Ginny Weasley. I know I was your replacement when I was dating Ron," she had said smirking at her surprised face and Ron’s embarrassed face.
"Face it, Hermione… Harry’s still very much in love with Ginny. You’re just something to keep his mind off her."
SLAP!
Hermione slapped Lavender clear in the face. "Hermione!" was Ron’s astonished cry.
She felt her tears on the edge of spilling as she recalled the event earlier that day. I told him I loved him, she told herself…
But he never said anything back, her conscience told her and her heart felt a stab. She picked up her things hurriedly.
And with one final look at Lavender’s shocked face and Ron’s sad expression, she ran.
It was always like this… ever since Professor Dumbledore had died, Harry had refused to get close with anyone. It was as if he was afraid they would die if he ever got close to them.
Hermione sighed and looked out into the water rushing by the lake. It was a wonder, even for her that he ever asked her out.
Two months after he separated with Ginny, Harry came to her and asked he if she would like to go out to dinner. She said yes, of course. It was what she had always dreamed of that day, but at what cost? Was she just a rebound? She didn’t even think about how oddly fast Harry’s heart healed after breaking up with her girl best friend…
Was she that stupid?
Well, I don’t expect
The world to move underneath me
But for God’s sake…
Could you try?
Lavender had told Hermione earlier that men would sometimes date other women to forget whatever hurt they had experienced. Usually, after separating with someone they had loved the most.
"I’m only telling you this because it looks as though Harry’s just using you to forget little Ginny Weasley. I know I was your replacement when I was dating Ron," she had said smirking at her surprised face at the time.
"Face it, Hermione… Harry’s still very much in love with Ginny. You’re just something to keep his mind off her."
Hermione remembered being angry and snapping back at Lavender for saying such things.
But now as she sat under the of a huge oak tree, looking out on the cool night sky… everything Lavender had said made sense…
"You know we can’t be seen…" a soft male voice whispered from behind her.
Hermione’s brows knitted in concern as she faced the direction of the voice. "Who in the world could that be?" she whispered to herself as she stood and leaned closer to the tree.
There were two figures, holding each other. It was too dark to see, so Hermione couldn’t figure out who they were.
"I know, but can’t I just hold you a little longer?" came another voice, this time a girl’s.
The boy sighed. "Alright, you can hold me as long as you want."
"Thank you," the girl replied, moving closer to the boy.
Hermione smiled faintly, closed her eyes and leaned against the tree. Young love, she thought, is so innocent. A part of her desperately wished that she had the same love with Harry. But…
"Harry… do you love Hermione?"
Hermione’s eyes snapped open and she looked back at the figures in shock. Harry…?
Then the moonlight illuminated the figures’ faces and she stifled a shocked gasp. It was Harry and Ginny, her best friend. Holding each other in the dark. In secret… behind her back.
Hermione saw that Harry was having hard time answering Ginny’s question.
"Harry? Do you love her?" she asked again, this time pulling away slowly from their embrace.
"I… I do…" he finally said, and Hermione felt herself breathe. That was beautiful to hear…
"But…" Hermione stopped relaxing and listened further. Yes… but what? Tell me, she silently asked him.
"I don’t love her as much as I’ll always love you." Hermione could see Ginny smile slightly before…
She couldn’t watch anymore… and she couldn’t breathe. This cannot be happening, she told herself as she choked back a sob. Harry couldn’t have just said what he just did.
Without noticing, her tears spilled and took over. Hearing sobs from the tree caused the couple to look over to it and Ginny gasped in surprise.
"Hermione!"
I know that you’re true to me
You’re always there,
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine…
"We can explain!" Harry said, as Ginny and him tried reaching for her.
"Just leave me alone!" Hermione cried and pushed past them.
"HERMIONE!"
She didn’t hear their calls… all she heard were Lavender’s words… Harry’s still very much in love with Ginny. You’re just something to keep his mind off her…
All of it had been true… but why?
Hermione threw herself into her bed when she reached her dormitory, and their s e wept. L‚vender was there and reached over to her, patting her hair. "I told you didn’t I?" she said in a soft voice.
"You were right, alright?" Hermione replied between sobs, "just leave me alone…"
Lavender nodded and walked over to the door. "Now you know how I felt when Ronald broke up with me for you…" she whispered and left the room.
Harry came moments after, his heart shattering once he saw her crying.
"I wanted to tell you…" he started, sitting next to her. "Then why didn’t you?" she replied softly.
"I didn’t want to hurt you…"
Where is your heart?
Cause I don’t really feel you…
"So you never loved me?" she asked, forcing herself to stop crying and sit up. She had to stay strong.
"I do love you… I really do. You know that I’ll always be there for you…"
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you…
"Well, I don’t see it. I don’t see that you love me considering you’ve been seeing my best friend—who by the way used to be your ex-girlfriend—behind my back," she told him, her anger surfacing. Harry was avoiding her gaze.
"You don’t understand how I feel, ‘Mione," he replied, clenching his fist.
Is it so hard to give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed…
That’s all I’m asking for…
Where is your heart?
"How can I understand if you don’t tell me anything?" Hermione argued, finally pulling him to look at her.
He stared back, his eyes blank and cold.
I don’t understand
Your love is so cold
It’s always me who’s reaching out
For your hand…
"How can you be so cold? You know that I love you! You know that I was happy when you finally asked me out! How can you play with my feelings like that?" she exclaimed, shaking him slightly.
I’ve always dreamed
That love would be effortless
Like petal falling to the ground
A dreamer following his dream…
"Was I just someone to replace Ginny?"
It seems so much is left unsaid
But you can say anything
Oh, anytime you need
Baby, it’s just you and me…
"Why can’t you tell me the truth…?" she asked him again, feeling her tears resurface.
"Harry… you said you loved me... that you’ll always be there for me…" He didn’t answer.
"Will you stay with me?" she asked in a softer voice, he cheeks wet with tears. "I… it’s not that easy, ‘Mione," he replied finally.
Hermione felt her heart tighten, and her breathing went shallow.
"Why?"
"You know why…"
"Ginny…" her voice broke as she said her friend’s name.
He hesitated and her tears fell. This was too much.
Hermione clenched her fist and took a deep breath.
"I want to be with you Hermione… God knows I do. But I also want to be with Ginny…" he trailed off. The sad expression on his face was too much for Hermione to bear.
I know that you’re true to me
You’re always there,
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine…
"If you want to be with her, then go…" she whispered, "but if you want me, then stay."
"I hope you stay…" she finished, looking deep into his emerald green eyes.
Harry’s heart tightened at the thought of choosing between the two women he loved most… Ginny, his passion and inspiration lay with her… but Hermione… she was his rock, his support, his steady arm at times to suffering. To lose one was the same as death…
Where is your heart?
Cause I don’t really feel you…
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you…
Is it so hard to give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed…
That’s all I’m asking for…
Where is your heart?
Harry looked into her soft brown eyes and wiped her tear stained cheeks. Slowly, he leaned closer and their lips met.
They shared a kiss, softer and hotter than both experienced. It was a kiss filled with love, hope… and regret. It was a kiss they would remember forever…
"You choose her," Hermione said, once the kiss ended.
Harry did not answer but it was there in his eyes. Hermione swallowed and bit her lip, avoiding his gaze.
"I’m sorry… I really wish I felt the way you do about me but—"
Hermione silenced him with a finger and shook her head. "Don’t say anything… just go."
Harry stood up and held her face a little longer, as if to ask forgiveness. "You were always so forgiving..." He sighed and looked deep into her eyes once again. "Don’t ever leave me after all of this…"
Hermione looked up at him and looked at him critically. It was the same request he had asked earlier that day. How he could ask her that request was ridiculous, she thought. After all these years they’ve known each other, he should know by then that she would never leave him.
Even if you’ll never love me as much as you love Ginny, Hermione told him in silence, feeling her heart break and her tears edging closer to overflow.
She took a deep breath. I have to be strong…
With a faint smile and a final kiss on Harry’s cheek, she whispered, "I never have, Harry… and I never will."
Where is your heart?
-Fin-
After all the drama we H/Hr shippers have experienced since HBP came out, I wanted to make a fanfic of it. Let’s face it, there are a lot of H/G (canon) shippers out there that are still commenting about our choice of ship… and I can tell you this that I am still quite hurt about what some people would say. I wanted to rant right back at them! But instead, I chose to sit down and write.
Why?
Because writing is what we shippers do best.
We make stories of utter fluffiness between our fandom’s characters that make us happy. We make sad stories when we feel like everything is lost… we even make stories that bash the characters we hate most! I made this fanfic because I wanted to express my feelings about the Harry/Ginny ship. And this is what I think:
Ginny is a wonderful character, not a very strong character but still, I like her all the same. You can say that sometimes she resembles the late Lily Evans-Potter. The two of them are both popular and loved by the masses… and are generally the same with temper issues. I don’t hate Ginny. I really don’t. What I really hate about this canon ship is that I feel as if J.K. is recreating Lily and James’ love in person of Harry and Ginny. And in my opinion, I don’t think that works.
We all know things didn’t end up happily. Lily and James both died on the same night and never even saw their son grow. To make Harry and Ginny’s love like James and Lily’s affair might also mean… a not so happy ending. To quote Thucylides, "History repeats itself."
As for Hermione… Hermione is an inspiring character. Ever since the first book came out, I’ve been a fan of her tough/know-it-all persona. She’s the kind of girl that knows what she’s doing and I admire her courage as well as her loyalty to her friends. Hermione has always been there for both Harry and Ron. She would risk everything to protect her friends from danger. I think she would even risk her life if it were necessary! In some ways as well, Lily resembles Hermione. Both are the smartest witches in their year… both are hotheaded, impatient and don’t believe easily in anything illogical.
Hermione… as I said in my story, is Harry’s rock. His support and conscience in everything he does or plans to do. They make the perfect couple (in my eyes) because they can support each other in every way. May it be financial, emotional or spiritual! They will never leave each other and would always risk their lives for one another.
In my story, I tried to make everything realistic. I suppose I made some errors (maybe, maybe not, I’m not very sure) in the plot but I tried to make everything right. I wanted to make sure I knew what I was saying and made sense while I wrote everything. So why did is this such a sad fic? (Well, it’s sad for me, but I don’t know about all of you…)
This is supposed to be a Harry and Hermione fanfic but let Harry end up with Ginny. Why? Because that how it really ends. :( As much as I wish it would end that way, we can see in HBP that will end that way. That Harry will end up with Ginny sooner or later… after all the trouble Voldemort caused, they might as well be the ones to get through in life together. But even so, in every step of the way will be Ron and Hermione watching over them.
I wanted everyone to see (both H/G and H/Hr shippers alike) that we don’t have to fight over ships. Some may prefer to ship Harry with Hermione or Harry with Ginny… etc. but that should not be the cause of wars. Because, let’s face it, whoever ends up with who in the end, the TRIO will stick together. Through thick and thin… they will always be there for one another.
…
I’m sorry for not making any sense. I feel bad about the wars going around our fandom. I simply wish everything to die down. We should be open minded and not closed to the opinions of others.
I hope everyone understands.
Sincerely,
Nikka
Nxt fic to come... "A Beautiful Disaster". :)
:
:
:
:
